Re: Way OT - DH advice
posted at 7/26/2011 3:55 PM EDT
From what I remember when I was on my 3 month leave (and when DH did his 3 month leave to stay home after I went back to work), even if it is the SAHP's job to mainly take care of the baby and chores, by the time the spouse came home the SAHP was ready to turn the baby over to the returning spouse and the returning spouse was tired from a day of work... so those few hours until DS's bedtime would be tough because each of us were tired (SAHP from just seeing nothing but baby, home and chores while working spouse was tired from dealing with office stuff). It did help when we tried to give the SAHP even just 10-15 minutes to themselves (read, go for a short walk etc) while the other spouse played with the baby.
For those months, we had split some things (for instance the spouse who went to the office would come home and get to play with the baby while the other spouse cleaned up and did a few chores, and in the morning, we would trade so the spouse who worked would sleep later while the other spouse got up to workout earlier). This allowed us some time to work in snuggle time. (unfortunately, we then hit a snag with DH needing some surgeries, so all the focus for him became centered on getting through those first - we did have long breaks anyway with no BD).
We both work now, and split up the tasks. I come home with DS and turn over the feeding and play to DH (DH loves this the most, and since I get the nursing time with him, I see this as a way for them two to bond) while I wash up all the breastpump stuff, then we do the bath and I do his bedtime routine while DH tosses something onto the stove. If he is tired, I clean up. If I have to work or am tired, he cleans up. Since we have to get DS down for sleep by 6:30-7, we find moments when we both are not too tired. And I do have a local teenager coming once every week for 2 hours - which I use to get lots of chores done and setup for the week, so that we have time in the evening to relax and snuggle. Also, I kick my husband out of bed for his workouts - he does so much better when he has a workout even when he grumbles in the morning, and he always has more energy to make it through the day and evening routine.
I would definitely recommend if possible to see if you have a neighborhood kid who can watch the kids for a few hours on the weekend, or help with chores.
If possible - although I do not know much more laundry twins generate, get as much clothes to make it through a week. Or get bins for each type of article and toss the clean clothes into each bin (not like the baby cares if the clothes are folded in a drawer or tossed in a bin) - so like one for onsies, one for night clothes, one for pants, one for shirts etc. Some shortcuts like that. Then maybe the chores will not seem as long or onerous for both of you.