What will you tell your kids about Santa?

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from ml2620-2. Show ml2620-2's posts

    What will you tell your kids about Santa?

    I know I should be polite and wait until after Halloween, but what do you plan to tell your children about Santa Claus?

    Are you going big and want them to be big believers in the magic? An in between approach? Not wanting them to believe?

    DD is only 14 months, but I am not sure how to deal with it, I don't even know what to say to other kids about it and it's been on my mind lately.

    I'm particularly curious about the mom's with kids starting to get old enough to "get it." Do elves look in your windows to make sure the children are being good? Does a strange man in red break into your house and leave presents? Is Santa everywhere or does Santa have helpers at the mall and church fairs and on street corners? 
     
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: What will you tell your kids about Santa?

    Aaaah!  I think about this ALL the time!!  I swear it's a bigger issue to me than not having a house to live in.

    I would like her to grow up feeling the way I did.  I remember always feeling like Christmas was a magical time, and not just because of presents!  I just absolutely loved the few weeks leading up to the actual day because of all the pretty decorations, the tree... everything.  Growing up it was just my mom and me, and some extended family, and I think my mom must have really influenced how I was feeling.  She went all out with the decorations and the holiday movies and music and the talk about Santa and Christmas.  I have no recollection of asking for any concrete evidence (such as someone actually watching me to see if I was good, or actually getting into the house to leave presents).  We had no chimney/fire place, and I don't remember wondering how Santa got in.  Apparently I asked my mom when I was about 6 if there really was a Santa or if the parents did all the presents.  She completely panicked about how to answer this question but wanted to be honest, so she said, "It's the parents".  I guess I said, "I knew that, but I wasn't sure if you did."  LOL!  So maybe I knew there wasn't an actual man named Santa, but maybe it didn't matter to me - the magic was still there.  Probably, in large part, because my mom felt the magic too, so between the two of us, it was enough.

    I plan to talk to her more about it, and talk to my MIL, and look forward to seeing responses here from those with older kids.  My DH is NOT into the magic of Christmas at all, which sort of depresses me, but luckily both my family and his gets very into it.  I'm hoping he comes around once he sees how much DD is going to love it.

    Sorry for the long post!  you hit upon something that is like a running banner in my mind.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from Winter2011Bride. Show Winter2011Bride's posts

    Re: What will you tell your kids about Santa?

    My son is 11, but we told him that the mall santa's were helpers.  What I did at a young age was wrap "Santa" presents in different paper.  As he got older all the other presents had tags on it, but there were always presents wrapped in a fun kid paper w/o tags that were from Santa.  I'm a little sad this year, as he finally came out and asked me last January if santa was real.  He had been doubtful for the last couple of years, but never acme out and asked.  He was cute though and said, I'll still get presents right?

    ETA:  I'm a big Christmas person, so I did up the house with decorations, etc.  His school also sings Christmas carols and has Christmas parties (not public school). 
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: What will you tell your kids about Santa?

    We talked about Santa, and my mom treated it like a game.  I had my suspicians and without her knowledge asked every Santa I saw if he were the "real Santa."  When each of them said that they were, I announced to my mom that there was no Santa.

    However, my grandmother had a very different experience.  Her parents valued integrity above all else - it was a huge deal in her home.  So, she trusted their word as if it were bedrock beneath her feet.  When her brother said that there was no Santa, she burst into tears and said, "No, that's not true - Mommy and Daddy would NEVER LIE to me!  Why are you lying to me, Bill?!"  She wasn't crushed that there was no Santa, per se, but believe it or not she got choked up for the rest of her life when she retold that story reliving the feeling of their betrayal of her trust.  She said, "It was the only lie they ever told me."

    So, I can say for certain that I'd "play Santa" if I were to have kids.  They'd get presents "from Santa" and we'd all have a good time with it, but I'd never portray it as a true story.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: What will you tell your kids about Santa?

    This is already a disagreement in our house...
    My husband is of the "elves are peeking in the window!" persuasion.  I think he might still believe in Santa.
    I don't want to make a big deal about Santa.  I am actually still disappointed that Santa isn't real.  Every time I read a kid book about a magical Christmas where things turn out great for a poor family, I feel really sad and angry because it's not real.  I guess I want to protect the LO from that kind of crushing disappointment.

    I'm not a total grinch, and I actually really love the holidays... I guess I just want to find a way from the start to make them special and fun, but only with the things that we'll be able to continue to enjoy forever.
    Now that I'm reading my own post, this sounds a lot like I have issues that I am projecting onto Santa...
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: What will you tell your kids about Santa?

    Yes, "crushing disappointment" was what my grandmother experienced.  Not only was there no Santa, but her parents lied to her.  Double whammy, and, like you med, it stayed with her.

    The disparity between what you and your husband want, though, med, makes me wonder how things would actually go here, too.  My DH is very fantasy oriented and I suppose that would include wanting our kids to believe in Santa.  Sigh.  I guess I shouldn't worry; I'm not even pg.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from princess-cal. Show princess-cal's posts

    Re: What will you tell your kids about Santa?

    I think I would be more dissapointed to not have had the experience of believing in Santa.  It made Christmas such a magical time of year.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: What will you tell your kids about Santa?

    I am a total Christmas nut.  I will definitely go w/ the whole "Santa is real" thing until the child tells me it's enough.  Heck, my sisters and I still get presents from Santa from our parents. 

    Christmas is a wonderful, magical time of the year. If people don't want to go w/ the Santa theme, they don't have to, but I loved the whole Santa thing when I was a kid.  I would see tracks left by falling icicles and tell my parents that those were Santa's reindeer's hoof prints. My parents barely had to do more than buy special Santa paper and I was hooked - I created most of the Santa magic for myself.  I was not disappointed or crushed when I discovered Santa wasn't real. I kept pretending b/c I didn't want to disappoint my sisters who were 5 and 8 years younger than I am.

    A couple needs to be on the same page.  If you have 1 who is a Santa die-hard, then I would consider just going w/ it if I were the other person.  There is a huge difference between perpetuating a fun childhood myth and lying to your children.  Do you throw water on the Easter Bunny, the toothfairy, etc too? It's a harmless myth that thousands of children throughout the centuries have enjoyed.  Maybe you need a little Christmas magic in your life so that you can see the fun and mystery that is Santa.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from kiwigal. Show kiwigal's posts

    Re: What will you tell your kids about Santa?

    Santa will definitely be a part of our sons' lives. I don't see the harm in reading Santa stories, visiting his "helper" at the mall, getting presents from "Santa", etc. It won't be an "all or nothing" proposition, though, either. We are Catholic, so stories about the baby Jesus will also be a part of the season. We'll also talk about how Christmas is a time to let all the people in your life know that you care and that's why we buy or make people presents, send cards, decorate, etc.

    Also, to counteract any "gimme" entitlement that may come along with Christmas, we've already started a tradition. We purchase gifts for children at the Home for Little Wanderers in DS' name. As the boys get older, they will pick out what to buy from the wish lists. We'll talk about how they have a responsibility to spread Santa's joy to other children. We also plan to continue that message throughout the year as well. Just like Santa works all year making toys, Santa's helpers need to "help" all year, too.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: What will you tell your kids about Santa?

    Yes, ALF, we played pretend about the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, etc., too.  We had a great time surrouding all the childhood myths even though I never actually believed in them.

    I get the difference between perpetuating a myth and lying, but I'm saying that it can FEEL the same to a child depending on the personality of the child.  To me, it's playing with trust fire.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from Winter2011Bride. Show Winter2011Bride's posts

    Re: What will you tell your kids about Santa?

    My son went along with the whole fantasy surrounding Santa, the Easter bunny and the tooth fairy.  Funny, he lost a tooth right after he asked about Santa.  And he said I know I won't get a $1 for my tooth.  Than we had a discussion on not telling younger family members about Santa.  :) I think it's more sad for the parents when they are OK with the truth.  :( 
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: What will you tell your kids about Santa?

    In Response to Re: What will you tell your kids about Santa?:
    [QUOTE]If you have 1 who is a Santa die-hard, then I would consider just going w/ it if I were the other person.  There is a huge difference between perpetuating a fun childhood myth and lying to your children.  Do you throw water on the Easter Bunny, the toothfairy, etc too? It's a harmless myth that thousands of children throughout the centuries have enjoyed.  Maybe you need a little Christmas magic in your life so that you can see the fun and mystery that is Santa.
    Posted by ALF72[/QUOTE]
    This post kind of hurt my feelings.  For one, I'm not sure why the person who is *not* a Santa die-hard has to be the one to go with it.
    For the main thing, maybe I do need a little magic in my life... but the last sentence makes it seem like there's something wrong with me just because I don't want to pass along this huge disappointment.

    I like Kiwi's idea about acting *as* Santa's helper.  Maybe we can incorporate Santa as a historical figure whose ideals and message we all can get in the spirit to carry on.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from luckinlife. Show luckinlife's posts

    Re: What will you tell your kids about Santa?

    When I asked my mother if there was a Santa she said "would I lie to you?"  The answer was yes. 

    I would not trade 100% honesty for all the magic that was Christmas for me.  I still remember feeling so excited for Christmas and I want my DD to experience the same .  I swear there is a small part of me that still believes!

    Of course, when DD as me if there is a Santa I will not respond as my mother did!
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from Leila32. Show Leila32's posts

    Re: What will you tell your kids about Santa?

    My mother was so miffed when she found out her parents had been lying to her about Santa all those years, she didn’t want to do that to her kids.  We never believed in Santa and it was treated as more of a game than anything.  She was also sensitive to the fact that other kids believed, so we were taught not to ruin it for others...that it was pretend and all in good fun.  We still had Santa décor in our house and my grandparents would even sign gifts “from Santa” but we knew he wasn’t real.  Plus, we were raised in a religious household, so my mom also wanted our faith to be the main focus.  The same with Easter and the Tooth Fairy...and actually, I still got an Easter basket from my mom until I was 26 years old.  

    I don’t feel like I missed out on anything not believing.  Christmas was still a magical time for us.  What I remember most is having lots of family around, my mom and grandma baking all kinds of treats, the house being really warm, beautifully decorated and filled with Christmas music...falling asleep watching the tree twinkle.  I still love it and I am really excited that this year we’ll have a little baby at Christmas.  We haven’t made any decisions on what we’ll tell our kids.  My nieces and nephews believe in Santa...except my niece finds the concept of the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy ridiculous, but Santa seems believable.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: What will you tell your kids about Santa?

    In Response to Re: What will you tell your kids about Santa?:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What will you tell your kids about Santa? : This post kind of hurt my feelings.  For one, I'm not sure why the person who is *not* a Santa die-hard has to be the one to go with it. For the main thing, maybe I do need a little magic in my life... but the last sentence makes it seem like there's something wrong with me just because I don't want to pass along this huge disappointment. I like Kiwi's idea about acting *as* Santa's helper.  Maybe we can incorporate Santa as a historical figure whose ideals and message we all can get in the spirit to carry on.
    Posted by medfordcc[/QUOTE]

    Well, I think you are being a little sensitive. The post was not directed at you.

    The assumption was if one is a die hard Santa nut and the other is iffy about it, well, then it matters more to the Santa nut than to the other, so the one to whom it matters less should give way. If the shoe were on the other foot, and someone was adamantly against Santa, and the other just thought it was harmless fun, then they should give in to hte one for whom it matters more.  This is my rule of thumb for any partner issue - if it matters more to one person than to the other, it generally makes sense to give in to the one for whom it matters more. 

    the most important thing is that both partners be on the same page, not on what other people are doing.

    We were raised in a relatively religious house and went to Catholic school through college.  We'd open our stockings early in the AM, then go to 7.30 mass on Christmas AM, then come home and eat breakfast and then open presents.  Jesus factored in there quite a bit, but Santa was his friend.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from dz76. Show dz76's posts

    Re: What will you tell your kids about Santa?

    DH and I "fight" about whether stocking gifts should be wrapped or not, how many presents are from Santa, where we are going during the holidays (now that we have the three, I've put an end to doing both families on the same day), things like that.  One of the hardest part about parenting in my mind is having to convince another person (your partner) that what you want is more important than what they want. The best you can hope for is to be in agreement for 50% of the time and each "win" 25 % of the time.

    It's never crossed my mind what we are going to tell DD1 (who is 3) about Santa this year.  We do have an elf on the shelf but she was not interested last year.  But I will tell her this year that he is watching to see if she is being good and reporting back to Santa. I suppose if DH really didn't want me to I wouldn't but that is because I don't feel to strongly about it. I do read "'Twas the night before Christmas" and "The Littlest Angel" every year to her but she hasn't paid too much attention yet.

    I have no problem lying to my kids (sorry, we don't have any more pops.  :-)  but I don't really feel like this is "real" lying.

    We're not mall people but my in-laws took DD last year to get her picture taken with Santa (I could have cared less about the pic with Santa but they really wanted it) and I don't know what they told her.  I'll have to ask them.

    In regards to the " Does a strange man in red break into your house and leave presents?" questions, the year my nephew was 3 he totally freaked out whenever someone mentioned Santa coming 'cuz he didn't want a stranger in the house!
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: What will you tell your kids about Santa?

    Whether it's a "fun story" or "real lying" is completely up to how your child sees it when they find out Santa isn't real.   How can you predict how your child will take the news?
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: What will you tell your kids about Santa?

    Well, right back at ya? How do you know they won't take it like milliions of kid took it before them - like a fun story?  Momentary disappointment followed by moving on.

    I simply cannot comprehend a child being crushed or feeling like they were 'lied to' when they find out Santa is not real. If you discover that you have a super sensitive child, well, you need to tailor your response to them. But I suspect that most kids will be able to handle discovering that Santa is not real just fine.
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from MichelleandtheBoys. Show MichelleandtheBoys's posts

    Re: What will you tell your kids about Santa?

    I was torn at first, and it felt wrong to be dishonest, but it was such a fun part of my life that I figured it was worse to deprive my kids of it. It is so much fun to be Santa, and makes me sad to think we may be on the verge of getting our secret found out.  My husband loves it just as much.  I was disappointed when I found out, but it was still worth all the years of fun and excitement I had as a kid beforehand. 

    We go all out, even have an elf that moves around every night(when he doesn't get tired), and my kids LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it!  We buy different wrapping paper for Santa presents, and always wrap the stocking stuff in that, too. I even did it the year my oldest was an infant in case he looked at pictures in later years.  lol It's a lot of work making sure I got every last scrap of "santa paper", and throwing away any evidence.  I don't even save it for the next year because I knew my kids would say, "that's the paper Santa used last year!" At four years old my oldest was asking how Santa could get through the glass on our gas fireplace and what he does when he has to use the bathroom.  He has always been super practical; I figured he was going to figure it all out.  Well...at eleven years old, he seems to still buy all of it!  My guess is he has me fooled, because he's too smart, but I'm going with it.  The tooth fairy still visits him, too.  I have no doubt that my 9 year old definitely still believes 100% in all of it.  He is the type who will be upset when he finds out, but I don't think he'd trade all the special memories, and will wonder how we pulled it off so well for so long.  

    They are young for such a short time, and it's so magical and fun.  Part of me looks forward to being able to say, "Instead of 25 presents we're going to Aruba the day after Christmas...", but part of me wants to have another child and keep it going forever!
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from dz76. Show dz76's posts

    Re: What will you tell your kids about Santa?

    There is absolutely no way to know how you kids is going to handle finding out that Santa isn't really or that her parent's don't always tell her everything.  As with everything else, what you tell your kids needs to be what your comfort level is. 

    I don't even remember finding out Santa wasn't real and I would guess that is the case most often.  The belief in Santa simply fades into the reality that mom and dad buy the presents rather that a huge to do over mom and dad lying.  Maybe it's an age thing 'cuz i know by 8 or so I no longer believed, if I had been older maybe it would have bothered me.

     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from Winter2011Bride. Show Winter2011Bride's posts

    Re: What will you tell your kids about Santa?

    My son asked me how "we" could lie to him.  I explained that it wasn't really a lie but something to stir the magic of Christmas, Easter, loosing a tooth, etc.  He was ok with it when he thought of how excited he always was to see santa or to dump out his Christmas stoking and see what was in there.  My son goes to Catholic school, so he's very well versed in Jesus and Christmas. In fact his school does the birth of Christ as it's Christmas Pageant every year.  
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from MichelleandtheBoys. Show MichelleandtheBoys's posts

    Re: What will you tell your kids about Santa?

    I think this is one of the first times I agree 100% with Alf! ;) 
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: What will you tell your kids about Santa?

    In Response to Re: What will you tell your kids about Santa?:
    [QUOTE]I simply cannot comprehend a child being crushed or feeling like they were 'lied to' when they find out Santa is not real.
    Posted by ALF72[/QUOTE]
    You may not be able to comprehend it, but it obviously happens because several people have just given examples.
    I don't think either Kar or I were suggesting that Santa should be obliterated... just that this is an area of concern.

    And, I definitely am extra sensitive today, but this sentence: "Maybe you need a little Christmas magic in your life so that you can see the fun and mystery that is Santa."
    is tough, because it suggests that it's the people who are unsure about Santa who need to shape up.
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from SarahInActon. Show SarahInActon's posts

    Re: What will you tell your kids about Santa?

    I've got a 2.5 year old and a newborn and we are not a religious family.  I love Christmas and all the gooey warm feelings the holiday invoke.  My family will celebrate Christmas and Santa in a non-religious way.  Yes, a bit of a paradox - if you don't belive in the birth of Christ well how can you celebrate his birthday - but we are going with Christmas as a celebration of family and the spirit of giving to others.

    We will certainly say there is a Santa for as long as our kids want to believe and then we will explain that Saint Nick was actually a guy who lived way back in year (don't make me stretch my brain right now) and gave out presents to poor kids.  And all the Santas are in honor of that tradition.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: What will you tell your kids about Santa?

    I guess when we have kids I'll start a therapy fund just in case they are crushed b/c we are going whole hog Santa. Maybe I"ll keep the funds in an extra Christmas stocking.....
     

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