3 1/2 year old waking up at night will a million silly requests

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    3 1/2 year old waking up at night will a million silly requests

    Help! my 3 1/2 year old son sleep like a log from 8pm-7am. His twin sister is going to drive me to an early grave. Starting at 10:30 last night she woke up wanting water, needed to go potty at 1:30am (because of the water). Got more water after going potty so needed to go potty at 4am. Lost her favorite toy in her bed at 1:30am. Lost it again at 4:30am. If DH goes in she SCREAMS "No...I want Mommy!!!"

    I'm home with them all day except the 7 hours a week they are in preschool - and we haven't even been this week because DS has a cold.

    I know I should just say no to nighttime water and tell her to suck it up about toys. I've told her repeatedly that Mommy (and she) need to sleep. I also know she uses the water in the sippy to soothe herself back to sleep. She was drinking so much during story time that she was wetting the bed at night..leaking through her pullup. So I said "only 1/2 a glass, and that's it". It was working until last night when everything seemed to go wrong.

    I'm tired, tired, tired because the two nights before DS was sick so I was up with them. Of course when they are sick I can't send them to school so there is no break then either. Her antics just threw me over the edge.

    I realize fully that if she needs to go potty I need to take her. I also realize that if she's having a nightmare or something we need to respond. But I'm tired of running in when she wails "MOMMMMMMYYYY!!!" to find that duckie is on the floor somewhere or she has decided she doesn't like the socks she choose for bedtime.

    HELP!

     
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  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: 3 1/2 year old waking up at night will a million silly requests

    misslily-will she go back to sleep on her own if you, say, take too long to get her water? DS occassionally wakes up, only requesting we lay down with him. But if I go to the bathroom, by the time I get back to him, most times he'll be back to sleep on his own.

    Can she get herself to the bathroom? DS will go and get back into bed by himself on those rare moments he needs to go to the bathroom.

     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: 3 1/2 year old waking up at night will a million silly requests

    Some-guy - I'd be very surprised if you were my husband. you're much more hands on than he is!But it is nice to know I'm not the only one up at night looking for stuffed animals and fixing blankets.

    Kam - I still have the gate up so she has to call to go potty. I guess at 3 1/2 it's time to take it down. Sometimes you get so used to a set up, you forget to modify. I've always been worried about them wandering at night. I'll talk to DH about it and maybe we'll make a change this weekend. If I dawdle with the water, she just gets more demanding. "MaMMMMMA...where are you? Where is the water?!" And I am thinking that she'll try and pour herself more water, spill it all over herself and then cry that she needs her pajamas changed. What to do...what to do?

     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: 3 1/2 year old waking up at night will a million silly requests

    What about a water bottle by her bed? nothing wrong with having a sip of water during the night-you can limit how much is there so as to not fill up her little bladder. The camelbak ones are great-she wont' make much of a mess if she knocks it over.

    As for fetching a lost lovie...I'd work the "big girl" angle that she can get up and get the lovie herself.

    And I get you, its hard to break yourself of routines and realize the kids are more able to do certain things. I'm totally guilty of this-DS could drink from an open cup way before I took the sippy's away...Maybe you could move the gate to allow them to go to the bathroom. Though I have a friend who has taught her son to go down to the living room and play allowing the parents to sleep in. this boy is not even 4...I dream of th day I can have DS and DD do that!

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: 3 1/2 year old waking up at night will a million silly requests

    ugh blah!  I hear you (except for the potty thing - we're not there yet).  Do you think it would have any effect to talk about it during the day, and make a game out of acting out the various scenarios?  I have had some (limited) success with discussing before bedtime that she can fix/find her stuffed animal by herself (she likes it to sleep in the same position as she is, next to her... crazy child), and then also telling her that if she has another problem that night, it will be Daddy coming because Mommy has to go to sleep.  (She will scream at him, "go AWAY, Daddy!!!  I want Mommy!!!)  Oy vey.  But if I remind her, she's better.  And actually goes back to sleep better for him.  Like he'll blow her nose or whatever the alleged problem is, say goodnight, and that's it.  Whereas she wants me to hold her hand and sing her a song.  GL!  No fun.

     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: 3 1/2 year old waking up at night will a million silly requests

    She's drinking out of a Playtex sippy at night now. I'm not worried about her spilling in her room - I'm worried about her being in the bathroom, unscrewing the top, filling it up and then making a mess trying to put the top back on.

    Which brings me to another thing I have to do. They can both drink out of open cups and I never use them. I know taking away the sippy cups will be a huge hassle - both in terms of mess and the fact that they will miss them.But I'm sure the "experts" would say that 3 1/2 is way too old for sippy cups!

    I could never let them play downstairs while I slept! I'm sure they'd be in the fridge and also figure out how to get the knives out and play pirates or something! I don't need my kids trying to empty the dishwasher for me! If the gate comes off the bedroom door, it's going on the stairs! :)

    I guess I'm not getting mother of the year this year! I'm finding "the threes" quite hard. Probably doesn't help that my mom has been sick since September - added stress doesn't help much.

    Edited to add: Thanks Med - I did start to talk about it this morning and I plan to revisit it tonight. I'll remind her of the new rules and see how it goes.

     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from rama8677. Show rama8677's posts

    Re: 3 1/2 year old waking up at night will a million silly requests

    Can you give her all the tools she needs to take care of these "problems" on her own and plan to have one or two tough nights of her testing you to see if you are serious.  I think once she doesn't get attention for all of these things she will stop doing them. 

    For example, would she go pe*e on a little potty? You could put one in her room by her bed and tell her that from now on she should go there in the middle of hte night.  Maybe once she realizes that she won't be getting your help doing it she will be less interested in going in the middle of the night...and you won't have to worry about her wandering the house at night.

    Does she have a light in her room? You could try giving her a flashlight of her own and tell her she can use it to turn on when she wakes up if she can't find lovies etc. 

     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from cwagner13. Show cwagner13's posts

    Re: 3 1/2 year old waking up at night will a million silly requests

    misslilly, could you transition to water bottle or straw cup? DS is 2 and at night, we use a straw cup for him - and we found out this week, his new room in daycare require water bottle, not sippy nor straw cups, for outside time... so if you don't want an open cup, those two options should be good. As an adult, I use a water bottle instead of open cup for my night time drinking so I would assume it should be fine for kids too (it is drier in winter so I seem to get thirsty more at night).

     
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  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from dz76. Show dz76's posts

    Re: 3 1/2 year old waking up at night will a million silly requests

    My 4.5 year old still drinks out of a sippy 75% of the time at home because it is just so much easier and I don't have to deal with the 2.5 year old who NEED the sippy cup wanting the big girl cup like DD1.  We give everyone a sippy cup (or sometimes a thermos with a straw) of water at bed.  I've been lucky that DD1 only does the getting up bit before I actually go to bed unless she has a nightmare (very rare) which then she just sleeps the rest of the night with us.

    I tell DD1 to come find me if something is the matter and do not scream for me because if she wakes someone else up, I'll be unhappy and she'll have to wait. 

     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from GC1016. Show GC1016's posts

    Re: 3 1/2 year old waking up at night will a million silly requests

    What about a sticker chart for doing things all by herself (like finding the lovie, going potty, etc...?)  Just a thought.  My LO is younger (2yo) but is powerfully motivated by stickers. 

    You'd probably have to give DS a sticker too, since he's sleeping through the night, but I'd far prefer stickerpalooza and a good night's sleep to the alternative. 

     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: 3 1/2 year old waking up at night will a million silly requests

    I tried a sticker chart at Christmas when she had her first ear infection and didn't want to take the medicine. What a mess! She simply couldn't grasp the idea of only having one sticker and then getting a prize at the end. We play with stickers a lot as an art activity so it just didn't work as a motivator. But that's just us. I know they work great for lots of people. Super idea - just not going to work here...unfortunately.

    I do want to thank everyone one for all the great ideas! Hopefully one, or many of them, will start to work. I'd like to get some sleep! sometimes I miss the gold old days of two year olds who slept 12 hours a night!

     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: 3 1/2 year old waking up at night will a million silly requests

    I had to laugh at cwagner's daycare and their "water bottle not sippy or straw cup" thing.  Unless there's further restrictions on the type of water bottle, that seems like a pretty arbitrary rule!  I've tried those camelbak water bottles and it's pretty much exactly the same as drinking out of a playtex brand straw cup.  And someone gave DD a sigg water bottle with one of those pull up sport tops, and that feels almost exactly the same as drinking out of a sippy.

    misslily - at our house the rule is open cups are for sitting at the dining table.  For water outside of meal time and in other rooms, it's some kind of lid, be it sippy, straw, or water bottle.  Might be someplace to start.  Good luck tonight!!

     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from user_1340272. Show user_1340272's posts

    Re: 3 1/2 year old waking up at night will a million silly requests

    We have 3.5 yr old boy that will pack out once or twice for silly things. I think he is checking to see if we are still close by. I feel your painyay totally disturbs sleep!

     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from lissafro. Show lissafro's posts

    Re: 3 1/2 year old waking up at night will a million silly requests

    In addition to giving her all the tools she needs to take care of things at night, try talking to her before bed and letting her know that you have set everything up, you know she will be fine, and you are NOT going to come in tonight (or you're only going to come in once, whatever you think will work).  Go through line by line "If DD needs some water she has her sippy here.  If DD needs to go to the bathroom, the potty is right here.  If DD drops Lovey, she can get out of bed and get it because the night light is on, etc."

    Maybe if you tell her she can only call you once she'll ration her shout-outs better.  Then if she does yell for you you can go in and tell her that's it for tonight.  I'm not sure.  My DD sleeps like the dead and it's interfering with her overnight potty training so we're at the opposite end of the spectrum.

     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from purplecow89. Show purplecow89's posts

    Re: 3 1/2 year old waking up at night will a million silly requests

    I usually have no use for John Rosemond's parenting stuff but he has one good idea:  if you want to limit a disruptive (but not horrible or dangerous) behavior, give the kid a ticket (s) for how many time you will put up with whatever it is--getting up at night, asking Mom to help you do something you can do yourself, having to be told to pipe down in the car during traffic.  They have to "pay" you with the ticket...then they see they've used up their ration and think about it more.

     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: 3 1/2 year old waking up at night will a million silly requests

    Thanks again everyone. Things were a little better last night. They both called out, but in his case it was because he's sick and has a stuffy nose. I think she was just calling in her sleep. I went in and retucked the blankets and she was fine. We talked about it a lot yesterday and while she was resistant during the conversations, she did her best to comply. I'm going to keep reminding her - I do it every day in parking lots (we hold mommy's hand and stay close, cars are dangerous) so I can certainly do it about bedtime. Sometimes I forget that with little kids you have to tell them the same things over and over.

    I had been thinking about open cups during meals and then DS got a cold. So when we're all healthy again I'm going to give it a shot. We do use straw cups too. I guess I just had in the back of my mind those people who say, "They should be drinking out of an open cup at age 2."

     I've been having trouble keeping them at dinner now that they're out of the booster seats (I can't threaten to strap them in). And we got lazy over the holidays so DH and I have been trying to rededicate ourselves to the "family meal". It's hard because of course, it's witching hour and they are starting to get tired and cranky - but we'll keep forging ahead.

    Thanks again for all the great ideas.

     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from dz76. Show dz76's posts

    Re: 3 1/2 year old waking up at night will a million silly requests

    One of the other mothers in my MOMs group had an alternative to sticker charts.  Use a clear glass container (cup, vase, votive candle holder) and when the kid does something right have them drop a marble or anything that will clink and make noise into the container.  Apparently there is something about the clinking that can click with kids.  You can also take marbles out for poor behavior if you wanted to structure it that way.

     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: 3 1/2 year old waking up at night will a million silly requests

    Oh, I was feeling like one of the only mother's out there wiht a 3.5 year old still on sippy's! So when DD was ready to go on Sippy's I yanked DS's-I also didn't want them confused on whose was whose. So DS went to open cups and straw cups. He knows exactly where he can put it in the living room so it won't get knocked over (not to say he doesn't knock it over occassionally). I was affraid DS would be more attached to his sippys, he wasn't he was perfectly fine when I took them away. DH had a harder time adjusting to the no sippy for DS rule.

    ('m now very much looking forward to DD being off sippy's-they take up so much room!)

    While the camelbak bottles are essentailly a sippy, they are more socially acceptable than a sippy on an older child.

     

     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from purplecow89. Show purplecow89's posts

    Re: 3 1/2 year old waking up at night will a million silly requests

    The problem is not a kid sitting down and having a drink using a sippy cup (still used because of the neatness of having a lid)....it's kids walking around sipping on them on and off for a long time, mouth and hand full while they do things, or going around with them hanging out of their mouths gnawing the top like an old man with a cigar stump.  It's bad for your teeth, and it's not good to nibble/sip/nibble/sip for an hour straight.

     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: 3 1/2 year old waking up at night will a million silly requests

    Well I guess it's not a problem then. My twins are both chug-a-lug types. Downing the whole cup, and usually tossing it on the floor while I say, "Please put your cup in the sink." :)

    My DD does suck a night to soothe herself to sleep. Usually it's just a minute or two and she's out, cup still in hand at her lips. Mommy takes it gently away and puts it on the floor by her bed.

     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from amy-lynn. Show amy-lynn's posts

    Re: 3 1/2 year old waking up at night will a million silly requests

    Misslily, I hear you on the waking up all night. DD is 4, and some nights she still wakes multiple times, other nights she sleeps through. We don't have a gate, so DD comes in to our room and stands by me. If I don't wake up from that, she will touch my arm and start with the "mom, momma, mommy!" 

    She also will not go back to bed once she is up without me going in to her room and tucking her in, and sitting for at least a few minutes. I have found that if I tuck her in, sit for like 30 seconds, then whisper that I have to go to the bathroom, she will often fall asleep while I am gone. Other times, I am stuck sitting with her until she falls asleep.

    As far as water at night goes, I will get her water in our 2 oz. paper cups we use when brushing teeth. I don't fill it terribly full, so she doesn't spill, plus it isn't so much she needs to pee until morning.

    I have found that talking with her about staying asleep/in bed before bedtime does help. And telling her in the morning when she does sleep through how happy/proud I am reinforces the good behavior. I wish I could tell you how to make it stop, but all I can do is let you know it comes and goes in waves, and sometimes will be better and others worse.

     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from MrsJay. Show MrsJay's posts

    Re: 3 1/2 year old waking up at night will a million silly requests

    I think it really is OK to let her know that the nighttime disruptions have to stop.  Give her the sippy cup and let her know that if she needs a drink, to take a sip but not to drink too much or she'll need to go potty.  I would also let her know that once the stuffed animal has fallen out of bed, she should roll over and go back to sleep.  That's just how it goes and she should not make a big deal out of it.  Put the stuffed animal to sleep in a corner of her room and let her know that when she wakes up, it will be right there waiting for her!

    My daughter is now 5 but I was very firm about nighttime disruptions during the terrible threes because it was always ME that had to get up...never my husband.  I let her know how close by I was at night (right across the hall!) and that if she really needed me, I could be right there.  However, I let her know that she is a big girl and needed her sleep - as did I!  I told her that a grouchy mommy can't go to the zoo and the park and all of the other fun stuff she liked to do.  During the day if a plow truck went by on the street, I would tell her if you wake up during the night and hear that noise, it's just the plow pushing snow...roll over and go back to sleep.  Let her know what to expect at night.  The house is not the same and the games are not going to work.!  She needs to go potty before bed and then hold it until morning.  I tell her that pee accidents do sometimes happen but if it happens because she is being stubborn or silly, that is NOT OK.  My daughter is a very happy girl but she can also be very stubborn.  I had to get on top of the nonsense early and often.  Being firm and setting limits really worked!

     
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