So it seems to me my 3 1/2 year old twins are getting more picky at meal times than ever. And getting them to try something new is harder and harder. They just take a look at something new and say, "No - I don't like it." without even tasting it. Even things that I think they will love. I just made Texas toast and they wouldn't even touch it. It's bread and cheese for heaven's sake! And they usually love garlic bread.

I've got the Weelicious cook book and I've tried a few things - without great success. At least I think the stuff is delicious - good thing since I end up eating most of it.

I'm thinking of sending them to camp this summer and I'm worried because I have to pack a lunch for them 3x a week. They hate sandwiches and often lunch is "hot" - grilled cheese sandwiches, chicken nuggets, breakfast sausage, turkey hot dogs, spinach littles etc. I know I can do fruit, yogurt, cheese, bread or crackers - but I need some ideas.

I know, I know - just keep offering yummy healthy food in fun and exciting ways.

How do you get your preschoolers to eat?

Misslily-how do they eat when you're not there? Do they eat at school now? I ask this since DS will eat what ever his day care provides, but getting him to eat for us is challenging and we resort to the 1 bite per year of age rule. So maybe they'll eat when you're not around?

He too doesn't eat sandwiches-have it all separate and he'll eat it, but it in bread and it's like it has bugs crawling all over it. He won't even eat a grilled cheese. My guy prefers to eat raw things-cook a pepper and he won't go near it. (you can't even sneak it the food.) He'd be perfectly happy with just cut up fresh veggies, yogurt and cheese. And honestly there's nothing wrong eating this way.

What about those bento lunch boxes? Hummus, carrots, some cheese, crackers/bread, yogurt. No need to do a sandwich!

I second the question about how they eat when you're not there.  It could be more of a control issue where they're pushing your buttons than anything.

Also, are they requesting specific types of food?  Do you ask them what they want?  My daughter isn't a picky eater, but she frequently requests different types of food than I would want for breakfast, lunch, snack, etc.  She seems to have a stoner's appetite--she would really prefer something like leftover pizza or grilled cheese in the morning, and cereal in the evening or for a snack. 

Are they drinking their calories and then not interested in eating later in the day? 

I tend to let her pick what she wants to eat for breakfast, snack, lunch.  But then she has to stick with it because she picked it.  For dinner she needs to eat what we eat, although she prefers raw vegetables so I just save some for her to crunch on instead of serving the cooked ones to her. 

 

At that age, if I gave my mom a hard time to that extent, refusing food I would obviously like, she'd say I could go hungry and excused me from the table.  Not wanting to go hungry, that didn't last long, and I learned to eat what was offered.  It's not like you are offering liver pâté and escargo and telling them it's that or nothing...like you say, it's bread and cheese.

hunger is a powerful drive.  If you send them to camp they won't refuse to eat for long.

I suspect that they will eat whatever you give them at camp. You won't be there and kids do well with peer pressure. 

They are at home with me - not in daycare - so we don't have that much experience with eating away from home. They have a snack at preschool which they usually eat. It's a juice box, usually a cheese stick or baby bel and a small snack like cheddar bunnies or raisins, sometimes cut up fruit or an applesauce pouch.

And I'm not all that worried about them eating away from me - I'm more worried about figuring out a variety of cold things to offer.

What's killing me is the bad eating at home. "I don't like this...it's yucky" or "I don't want to try" sometimes they don't even eat the old favorites like mac & cheese anymore. It seems getting them to even taste something new is impossible. Oh well - I'll just keep offering and tossing out. I thought the turkey meatballs from Weelicious were delicious last night. And I guess I'm having them for lunch today too! :)

Misslily-I'd offer the kids the turkey meatballs again for lunch today. Keep offering them at every meal until you feel the meatballs are no longer good to eat.

In our house I fully expect the kids to eat what I eat. They have to do the 1 bite per year of age rule, then they're done. There's a big fruit bowl DS can reach at any time, and he can get carrots out of the fridge at any time. I leave it at that. He knows if he eats well he gets some dessert. I'm not a short order cook and never have been, neither of my kids expect anything different since that's the way its been. Granted, I don't cook foods I know they don't like often-its a rare event I'll cook spinach-DS rathers it raw, so why torture us by making him eat is cooked. But those nights I cook it, oh well. Its what's for dinner.

As for constantly changing likes/dislikes-seems like its a power struggle for the kids. I'd sit them down, tell them that you are only cooking one thing for lunch/dinner, and if they don't like it, its okay, they can eat at their next meal/snack. And leave it at that. Let them know what the expectation is, and leave it at that. they'll cope just fine.

As for cold lunch options-assuming the lunches won't be sitting in the hot sun, but in cool place if not fridge: (all with fruit/other snack favs)

-pasta salad with cooked chicken and veggies

-hummus, veggies, cheese, pita bread/crackers

-brown rice with green beans, parmasean cheese, balsamic vin & olive oil, tomato

-diced tomato, pepper, red onion, parsley, cucumber, canelli beans, red wine vin & olive oil & fresh lemon juice (this is one of my kids favs!)

-sliced avacado, and cut veggies, flat bread/pita bread/crackers

Not a mom but...what if you tried having them help you prepare the meal?  I'm related to a chef who was hired to prepare healthy meals in DC area schools in a few after school programs for kids aged 5-10.  Part of the program included her coming up with a healthy meal and have the kids help prepare it with her.  She had them try all of the fresh spices parsley, thyme, oregano, mint etc, and anything else that could be tasted before cooked (even garlic & onions in very small amounts, though for toddlers maybe not).  They would then prepare and cook the meals together (and they were vegan meals to boot due to dietary restrictions for the group), and eat together when done.  All along the way they were encourage to explain what they were tasting and the texture in positive ways.  

She said the parents were coming to her mid way through the program asking what she'd done with their children!  Apparently they were eating everything offered to them and then some, as some kids were suggesting certain healthy additions to meals being prepared!

Might be worth a shot...not sure if it will work, but couldn't hurt!  I know it might be more messy than it's worth, but maybe to get them past the stage it might help?

MissLily, we are going through a control phase at home right now. I pack DD a snack bag for her to eat and share throughout the day. She feels like she's making choices and in control and it's easy for us because the work is already done, and we often eat the snacks in the bag too while we are on the go. Like you said, put the right foods in front of them and hope they'll eat. So at home, in the car or at an activity, she'll ask for the snack bag and we'll offer it at the right time.

We don't do anything that requires cooking, the time spent in the kitchen on snack bag is assembly time, I have a plastic bin in my fridge and a plastic bin in my cabinets and that's where I keep all the lunch supplies. We do put in more options and amounts than she could possibly eat so she can share with friends (and Mom and Dad), and then I check the bag every morning, toss cheese, or scary looking items. This morning's bag was:

Almonds (works for us, probably not something we will be allowed to send to preschool, grape tomatoes, slices of block cheese, grapes, cucumber (her absolute favorite), Fruit cup, rice cake, or crackers. Sometimes we'll do a hummus or PB sandwich.

Not sure if this helps, but I also do not look forward to the lunch years. That said, since I leave for work at 5:30 a.m. and am gone for 12 hours out of the day, packing the snack bag feels like this special good mom thing that I do, and I like it.

Misslily - my DD won't eat either (2.5). I have no advice, just wanted to empathize. I caught myself trying to force her to try maple syrup the other day. I convinced her to put some on her tongue and she was completely disgusted. The absolute hardest thing is when she suddenly won't eat something she's enjoyed for months. The only thing we can do is try things until we hit upon something that a) she'll agree to try and b) decides she likes. Which is pretty much zero things.

 

Actually, I lied. I have one piece of advice re: the camp thing. Sometimes when DD won't eat her dinner, and it's something she has liked in the past, we give it to her for lunch if she is going to daycare the next day (she goes twice per week). She almost always eats it at daycare, according to her teachers. So a simple environment change, even if it's the exact same food they refused at home, might help.

 

 

Re lunch suggestions. My DD loves "cold grilled cheese" which is, essentially, a piece of bread and butter and a slice of cheese.  Easy to bring to preschool. She will also eat Mac n Cheese or pasta and sauce for lunch - we pack in an insulated Tupperware and it stays warm enough. She also likes hummus, pita and fruit/veggies and PBnJ. 

Re picky eaters. I think it's a control thing. Eating is one of the only things 3 year olds can control and saying they don't like something is a way of exerting.control.  My dd will announce she doesn't like something but then eat it an hour lLater.  I usually offer one alternative like peanut butter sandwich and let her choose.  Usually she chooses the food she "doesn't like". She's skipped a few meals before and it just means she will be super hungry for the next meal.  

Poppy - that's interesting about leftovers for lunch the next day. My two will often refuse something for dinner like baked ziti or a rice casserole that I make. But if I'm eating it cold the next day DS will often share it with me. Not true for DD - but works for him.

ML - like the snack bag idea - sort of an expansion of the snack I currently send at preschool. I've been putting cheddar bunnies, raisins or cheese cubes in plastic easter eggs and they think it's a hoot! ( See, I'm not a total loser - I do get them to eat sometimes!)

Thanks everyone for the suggestions. One of the books about feeding kids mentions the part about having them cook with you. I try when I can, but it's such a mess, and can be dangerous trying to watch 2 toddlers in the kitchen at the same time. We'll get there slowly I guess.

The author of Weelicious says it's like anything else - practice makes perfect ...or at least better. They won't change their eating habits overnight, but if we keep at it, they will improve.

I actually find reading all your responses gives me the strength and determination to keep at it and not (a) stress or (b) give in and let them eat popsicles all day. :)

I have cooked with my friend's toddler while she stands on her stool at the counter.  It IS difficult to watch her with the knives (you can't cook without them) - I think having 2 up there on stools at a time would be a bad accident waiting to happen as you fear.

But, I LOVE the idea of having young children help in the kitchen before they are actual a real help because ownership in the kitchen leads to exactly what fakin talked about (at least it did for my friend's 2 - 3 yo), but I second your fear about having two at once up there with you.  If you plan exactly how you are going to do things, you could do safe things with each of them.  Like having one stir something and another place pieces of chopped whatever in the pot.  If you cut everything ahead of time while they are napping, for instance, you can take all the danger out of it.

eta:  we had a great time with mashed potato prep and it took her a long time so she was occupied while I did other things at the counter.  She took one chopped piece of potato at a time and plopped it in the water filled pot.  We made a fun deal of the noise and little splash.  

MissLily, I know how hard it is when you can't get your LO to eat, and I can only imagine how much harder it is with two. I have found that at 4, DD likes to feel like she has some control, so I will often let her pick what she wants for lunch from a short list (Do you want a sandwich, a bagel with cream cheese, or leftovers? (usually mac and cheese or pasta with sauce, but any leftovers at our house get used for lunches)) Once she has decided on something, thats it, and if it isn't eaten there is no second option.

I will usually give her snacks like cheese sticks, pretzels, olives or almonds in the afternoon, and if she hasn't had a good lunch, I'll give her more snacks. Mostly to preserve my own sanity, my DD is a monster when she is hungry. I think that parents who can tolerate their kids when they are super hungry either have much less cranky kids or the patience of Job.

As far as dinner, DD is hit or miss, most of the time she eats well, and she knows dessert requires eating most, if not all, of what she has been served, and dessert isn't every night even when she eats well. I have found that she much prefers individual foods to mixed dishes, so if I am serving something like a casserole or a soup I will leave some out as I assemble it, or for something like chicken noodle soup, I gave her some broth in a bowl and a plate with the noodles in one pile and the meat in a second pile, etc. I sometimes feel like it is a bit ridiculous, but at least she is eating what we are having, and I am not cooking something seperate for her.

As far as trying new things, I offer it, and ask that she try a little bite. Sometimes all she does is lick it, but I let that go if she has never had it before. I also won't make a big fuss over it, once she has tried it. I find that if I can compare it to something she likes, I can usually get her to at least taste it. For example, we had broccoli and cauliflower mixed together, so a put a lot of broccoli, which she loves, and a few pieces of cauliflower on her plate, then asked her to try the cauliflower, telling her it was white broccoli. She took a miniscule bit on her fork, and first licked it, then ate it, with a little prodding from me. She then continued to eat all of her broccoli, but when that was gone, went on to eat the cauliflower, without me asking. It isn't always that easy, and I expect if I serve just cauliflower without the broccoli, I might meet with more resistance, but just for that night, success!

In response to kargiver's comment:

I also love to have DD help in the kitchen, but she mainly helps with things like baking or mixing. She doesn't do anything on the stove if it is on (pouring rice into cold water OK, putting pasta in boiling water NO) and I don't think she needs to use knives until she is older, but I will have her crack eggs on the counter, then I break them into the bowl, she has her own whisk for scrambling eggs, ad will put salt & pepper in the eggs. I still pour the milk, but she tells me how much. We make pancake and waffle batter from scratch, so she will hep measure the ingredients and dump them into the bowl. She loves using cutters to cut biscuits and cookies, and anything that requires stirring, she loves to help with. I think it might be harder with two, but there are lots of ways to involve them in cooking that would keep them safely away from the stove, yet involved in meal prep.

I've heard so many times that toddlers eat better at breakfast and lunch than they do at dinner.  In your experiences, does that tendancy continue passed the toddler years?  If so, it makes sense to me that the leftovers would somehow magically go over better the next day.  DD has become a little more difficult at dinner time, so, at least on weekends, I make sure to feed her a nice big lunch w/ protein.

I would also love to hear more suggestions as far as cold lunches.  We might switch DD to a daycare where we'd have to bring lunch and most of what I feed her on weekends is hot.  I would assume that centers don't heat up lunches for all the kids?

Amy-Lynn - Thanks for the suggestion about keeping things separate.  I think I will try that.  Sometimes DD loves soup, etc. and other times she won't touch it, so I wonder if she doesn't like having it all mixed together.

Last night I pretended to cry and said I was sad and she finally ate her beef stew... and then I felt incredibly guilty for manipulating her.  Can't win!  I swear I won't make that a habit :o)

amy-lynn, just so you know for sure (although, I didn't get the idea you thought otherwise), I had her plop the potatoes into the pot of cold water at the counter nowhere near the stove.  I was entertaining the toddler while the mom was feeding her 3 babies and I was very slowly, hahaha, preparing dinner.  It was hard for me given I'm used to whipping around the kitchen without a care other than cutting or burning myself.

Fram, I've read that we do best at any age with lunch being our main meal of the day and dinner being far lighter.  Maybe toddlers haven't been messed up by our American tradition of having it the opposite way and are resisting it for physiological reasons, not just power issues?  An interesting thought...

Kar - I figured that was the case - you wouldn't want to have the potatoes go in at radically different times anyways, or some would be overdone while others were raw ;-) But I was pointing out that some foods can be dumped in a pot cold - like rice or potatoes, while others need to go into a hot pot, like pasta. We let DD put the salt in cold pasta water before we bring it to a boil, but once things on the stove are boiling, she is only allowed to look when we pick her up, at a safe distance.

 She gets to be involved in a limited way, so she feels like she is helping, but we don't feel like she is in danger. There are lots of ways to have kids help - If you let them put the silverware away when emptying the dishwasher, or pull out the mixing bowl or pot you need, or whatever, they can be a part of the mealtime activities and you can keep adding tasks as they develop the skills/ coordination to do them.

If camp or childcare center will have refrigeration, or you can send a thermos-y bag with an ice pack in it, you can also cut up chunks of chicken, turkey, or ham along with the cheese. sort of a broken down sandwich, like what KAM suggested.  And then send a slice of bread, too - and that can by those tiny syrian breads, or a regular slice of bread, or a slice of french bread for a change

rice cakes with something spread on them or the ones with flavors by themselves

syrian (pita) bread or crackers, like saltines, ritz or stoned wheat thins for dipping in hummus, tzatziki or spread with cream cheese, hummus, or whatever they like?

veges for dipping in ranch, french, cream cheese?

mini bagels? with or without stuff spread on them? bread, jelly, cream cheese?  (I HATE cream cheese but I'm about the only adult in the world who does)

no, a childcare center usually won't warm up lunch, but you can microwave it to HOT in the morning, put it in a thermos (with a wide mouth) and by lunch time it will be lukewarm which is a good temp for kids.  so then mac and cheese, leftovers from last night, spaghetti, etc. etc become options.

cold hamburgers or meatballs are actually yummy - dipped in ketchup if they like it

And I'd do the KAM method - this is the meal, I don't make escargot and liver, if you don't want it you may have fruit from the fruit bowl.  Make sure they aren't eating a HUGE snack to compensate for not eating lunch and therefore not coming to the lunch and dinner table hungry. Also, make sure they aren't full of milk from drinking all day in sippy cups.  It's going to STINK for those first few days when DD or DS won't eat and then whines and whimpers and begs and pleads for food (like he/she is starving, right!  I know they aren't, mislilly).  But honestly, they'll eat at their next meal and they'll learn to be more reasonable.

You were so strong about sleep, you can DO THIS with food.  Obviously, there are things one or the other really won't like (cream cheese, orange mashed squash, creamed spinach, cooked carrots and cottage cheese for me, thank you very much) but some of this is that old "monkey see, monkey do" - one twin says "I don't like this" and the other suddenly doesn't either, even if he/she was eating it happily!  ARGH!  So having a few 'lessons learned' with eating around the lily house might be in order. 

Thanks everyone - I'm sure with some hard work and determination I can help them along. I've armed myself with Weelicous and "No Whine with Dinner". Part of my problem is that my two don't seem to like many spreadable things (PB, cream cheese etc.) and they refuse to dip - won't go near the ranch dressing or hummus. They eat ketchup off a spoon - never dip a fry or nugget.

I did switch out the popsickles for homemade ones this week. They loved filling the molds when they came this week. Couldn't wait to try them. And they were so happy when I let them have a popsicle for BREAKFAST the other day - it was just OJ afterall!

We kind of got way off track last months when my mom died - feeding them whatever and whereever. So now I have to work hard to get them back to the table and eating with us. My goal is One Meal for One Family and I'm going to get there somehow. :)

The KAM method is exactly what my mom did with me, and I was no worse for wear.  I learned quickly that a power struggle at the table was not in the best interest of satisfying my hunger.  She didn't say much, just, "You can't be THAT hungry if you don't want what's for dinner," and that was that until I decided that I WAS that hungry and what was for dinner looked pretty good, after all.

amy-lynn - indeed, you would NOT want unevenly cooked potatoes, and at the rate she was plopping them in the water it would have been a huge problem, LOL!! ;)

 

I just wanted to add support for the thermos idea mentioned by CT.  My childcare center stops warming food when they move from the toddler room to the transitional "pre" pre-school room.  Thermos brand makes short, wide-mouth stainless thermoses with various kids' characters and logos great for school.  You can pre-warm the thermos w/ hot water and then put piping hot food in and it stays reasonably warm for about 5hrs.  DD eats mac n cheese, meatballs, turkey dogs, and nuggets this way at school.  My kids also are pretty good w/ cold chicken, turkey.  You may want to try the thermos, or perhaps try serving a few of their favorites cold now (ones that wouldn't seem gross cold of course... no way to sell cold grilled cheese!) and see if they go for it.  My DS never had his food warmed b/c our old center didn't do it and then he is in an older room at our current school.  He will eat just about anything cooked cold or room temp.  Other ideas that folks mentioned include bagels w/ cream cheese, fun things to dip, yogurt.  My center is big on sunbutter, but I don't know if that is universally allowed, but you might see if they like that.  I am a big fan of making double at dinner so that it can be sent at the next day's lunch. 

Many children don't like to dip things, and don't like things mixed.  When I was a child I didn't like the sauces from the chicken dish, or the juice from the steak, to touch my vegetables, rice or pasta.  And that darn juice and sauce would OOZE or ROLL down my plate, heading right for the other food!  YUCK!  I actually put my knife under my plate to make that part of my plate higher and keep the juice/sauce on it's side of the plate.  Seriously.  I didn't even like meat pasta sauce ON my pasta - I had plain pasta for years.  But now I'm normal and no longer get freaked out with my sauce, etc. touching my other food, LOL, so there's hope!

Fram - can't hurt to ask, though.  Our daycare center does actually heat up their lunches for them.

I am right there with you guys because DD (2.5) doesn't eat much except for versions of bread and dairy, and some limited fruits and vegetables.  Can't remember the last time she tried meat!  One thing I have noticed is she doesn't seem to like things where the texture is such that it leaves bits in your mouth as you chew.  (Things like raw vegetables and nuts.)  She likes the flavor, and will start eating raw carrots or almonds or whatever, but then after a few she starts to get disgruntled and wants me to get a napkin and get the bits out of her mouth.  She doesn't seem upset to the extent that it seems like a major sensory issue, but just enough that once the edge is off her hunger, she notices and doesn't like it.  I just keep encouraging her to wash it down with a drink, and then if she still can't deal I'll hand her a napkin.  Anyone else have this?

I was wondering: the rule at our house has been that if you don't like what's for dinner, you can have cheese and crackers or yogurt.  But I was thinking of cutting it back to just yogurt, because she likes cheese and crackers a little too much!  But maybe I will wait because we are having a new baby and plus might move soon (and potty train)?  Maybe too much at once?

Well Medfordcc - I still feel that way about nuts. I hate, hate, hate them. I love creamy peanut butter so it's not the flavor - it is the texture.

And for years I hated anything crunchy mixed with anything smooth. Crunchy peanut butter, celery in tuna fish, nuts (again with the nuts!) in a brownie or banana bread, mix-ins in my ice cream. To be quite honest - I still prefer all these foods without the crunchy stuff. :)