January Preschoolers

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    January Preschoolers

    Happy new year, everyone!

    I am officially in a fight with winter. I can't stand being cooped up in the house for days. It will be better when DS is a touch older - right now if I merely show him his snow boots he starts screaming and crying. DD loves it, but we can't all go out together and play. I never thought I would be longing for the playground.

    Hope the rest of you are doing well.

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: January Preschoolers

    I'm done with winter too! Oh the joy of getting the kids loaded into their coats while in the car, walk into day care, get them settled into regular shoes, and no coats...then repeat the routine at night. I'm just done! And if there is any snow on the ground I have to put them in snow boots because my two are immediately in the snow!

    And I'm thankful the holiday parties are over! Ready to settle into our routine again. my two normally are fine with toys, but man, they've been arguing over all the new stuff non-stop!

    One hit gift we got was the Red Rover game. it's a dog that shouts out color/number/letters/shapes depending on the difficulty level chosen, and the kids have to run around the room and find the right bone with the shape and shove it in the dog's mouth. They love it! My two year old can set it up and do it all by herself.

    The theme for DS this year was stuff to get him ready to go to kindergarten next year, back pack, alarm clock, lunch box...fun stuff. Got a good clock that will announce the time to him when he presses a button shows both the digital time and analog time to help him learn to tell time. It also has a night light attached that glow's green when it's okay to get out of bed. Only draw back is no volume.

     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from luvRIboy. Show luvRIboy's posts

    Re: January Preschoolers

    I am right there with you with being over winter.  Fortunately, we have a finished attic, which right now only has a play tent and tunnel in it, so we've been spending a lot of time up there running around, even playing catch (with nerf balls of course), and getting some of the energy out.  Nothing worse than having to tell my daughter it was too cold for her to go out and play in the snow!

    Fortunately, we are now getting back to normal bedtime routines.  I was a sap in December because of all of the fun Christmas shows that I like to watch, and DD (3) was staying up way too late.  Bonus was that she was sleeping later, but meant we were also rushing around in the mornings more.  So the last few nights we're back to the old rules...no TV after dinner, up for baths and stories and keeping things calmer.  And I've been downstairs with kids tucked in bed by 8 the last three days.  So nice to have our evenings back!!

    Just starting to fill out my daughter's application for the pre-school program at our local Catholic school, which has me filled with all kinds of emotions.  We live in Boston, so are planning to try for public schools for kindergarten, but since DH office is moving in the fall and the kids will have to switch daycares, we're thinking we might want to do the transition to school.  At the very least, we're going through the application so we will have that as an option for the fall if we need/want it.  She is growing up too fast!

     

     

     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: January Preschoolers

    I don't think winter is going to be a fan favorite in our house either!  Between vacation time and last week's snow, I got to spend lots of time with DD, so that was really nice.  Unfortunately, she got sick starting the day after Christmas, so we pretty much stayed in.  It was just a cold, but she also threw up a couple of times from all the mucus.  TMI?  Finally, on NYE, we went to Imajine That in Lawrence, MA and that was great.  Definitely plan to go back.  DD was so whiney between being sick and being, um, a 3 year old, so it was kind of a long vacation, but on the upside this past weekend was much better, so I think it really was the cold that was creating a monster.

    Her favorite present was play dough, which was a last minute present my husband grabbed.  She liked lots of other things too, like her toy guitar and puzzles and books.

    One of my mother's presents to me was to watch DD for a couple hours so I could go to Marshall's and try on 18 pairs of jeans :o)  I bought two pairs woo hoo!  Plus I bought them with a giftcard from mom woo hoo!  If anyone is interested, I had luck with Lucky Brand, DKNY, and Calvin Klein.  Levi's were horrendous on me.  Guess too low for this mama.

     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from KMMZ1012. Show KMMZ1012's posts

    Re: January Preschoolers

    I wouldn't mind winter so much if it wasn't so *bitter*. After that storm last week, DS wanted so desperately to go outside (his uncle got him a new sled for Christmas and he was dying to use it), but it was SO COLD. Eventually, we bundled him up (honestly, he looked like that kid from A Christmas Story who kept saying "I can't move my arms!") and let him go outside. He was out there for 45 minutes before he gave up. "Too cold, Mama!"

    Getting him back into a routine after the holidays has been awful. We let him stay up, sleep in, eat when and what he wanted, etc. Now trying to wrestle him back into submission for school has been a nightmare. He's going to bed about a half later than normal, but still getting up at the same time, so he's cranky when he gets up. My husband does mornings with him because I leave for work early (so I can do school pick up) and he's been bearing the brunt. It doesn't help that we're expecting our second and I'm still in my first trimester so staying conscious past 8PM is a challenge for me. We're also starting to weigh our options for kindergarten next year. I did some research on our school district and while I knew it wasn't the top district in the state, it was depressing to realize how bad it actually was. The center he goes to for pre-K will only have a kindergarten class if 8 kids sign up. Right now, they have two definites and two maybes, so I'm not holding my breath. Most of my friends whose kids go there live in better districts, so they're all sending their kids to public or Catholic school. We may end up at the Catholic school, at least for a year or two, even though it didn't thrill me with joy when we looked at it a couple months ago. But it would mean two drop offs and pick ups because we want to send the new baby to the same center DS is at now. All of this seriously occupies my every waking hour.

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: January Preschoolers

    KMM-I'm stressing about kindergarten next year too! the cost to send DS to full day in my town, (or even to just take care of him after the half day) then afterschool care, then summer camp, will cost me more than my current day care center! I have friends who have kids in towns with great schools and they say kindergarten is a joke and all their child does is play. Then I have friends from "middle of road" schools and they say kindergarten is so hard! I had hoped the cost and stress would be relieved a little when DS started kindergarten.  

     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: January Preschoolers

    I can't heeeear you KAM!  I am totally going to save so much money when DD goes to K and I can totally afford another child someday because I won't have 2 in daycare!!  Just kidding - wish you both luck figuring it out.  There is always so much to juggle.

     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts

    Re: January Preschoolers

    KMMZ - don't think I said so already, but congrats on #2!!  If I recall it took quite a bit of trying and hard work... so really excited for you and your family!!  As of now, we are keeping our two in the same Center for quite some time since they offer full day preschool (and kindergarden actually).  They are both past the Sept 1 cut off age, as they are Oct and Nov babies.  So DS1, who started in their preschool program this year, has 2.5 more years before he can go to our town Kindergarden (must be 5 by Sept 1).  His full time cost at the Center is $15K... I can't even imagine what we will be able to do with that money once he's in public school.  Sure, there will be sports and after school programs, and many things we'll need to pay for... but I doubt at that kind of total.  (or at least I hope!).

    Question.  We got two bday party invites for the same child in his class.  Mom and Dad are split and I guess they can't attend/host the same party.  We'd like to attend one, but no way we're doing both.  The only way I can think of picking (since we are free both weekends right now) is what event place will be more fun for my DS.  They are both at places... and one I just know my DS will enjoy more.  I just feel so bad, as no matter what, it will look like we are selecting one parent over another.  And I don't even know these people!!  Anyone dealt with anything like this??

     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from AnnFox8011. Show AnnFox8011's posts

    Re: January Preschoolers

    Oh my goodness! I would honestly talk to your son's childcare providers. They need to speak with the parents--perhaps one parent doesn't know the other sent out invites already? If everyone were to attend one party, and nobody attend the other, it would be awful for the child involved. I think the teachers need to intervene and call a meeting with both of the birthday child's parents. 

     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts

    Re: January Preschoolers

    They both know... the mom's invite included a note explaining why were were receiving two invites.  Split household, want the child to have his friends at both, etc.  My parents have a hard time being in the same room together, even after being divorced 38 years and both having moved on (several times!).  I feel bad but still can't attend both.

     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from AnnFox8011. Show AnnFox8011's posts

    Re: January Preschoolers

    Perhaps the divorced parents can switch off years for hosting their child's birthday parties. (e.g., this year could be mom's turn, next year could be dad's turn.) They can each additionally host playdates at their respective homes to encourage friendships. However, it's definitely the teachers who need to intervene and speak to both parents. Putting you in the position of having to choose which party to attend isn't fair to you or other parents who have likely also received two invites. 

     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: January Preschoolers

    Hmm, I agree that Lauren's suggestion of switching off years would be a way better solution for that family!  Two "friend" parties is crazy.  However, I don't agree that the teachers should intervene.  If the parents are both aware of the situation and decided to go ahead with this plan, it's really their own business.  From your perspective, IPW, I would just RSVP and to the one you can't go to, say, "I'm so sorry, we won't be able to make it to this party on this date."  You don't really have to justify yourself, especially if you don't really know the people.


    KMMZ, good luck thinking about logistics!  To KAM's point, how "bad" a district is - hard to judge based on any of the objective data that's out there.  Test scores are just a proxy for how rich the families are.  They really can't indicate much about the influence of the schools themselves.  IMHO, there is no way to know other than visiting all the schools - not easy to do!

     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: January Preschoolers

    IPW-you may spend that $$ on public kindergarten! In my town, it will cost me more than that to put in kinder-after school care and then summer camp! 1st grade will hopefully be under $10k! I think the cost of kids will go down after they get married?!?

    As for the 2 parties. that's just awkward. For the sake of the child the parents should agree on the time and venue. And I agree, I think it's over stepping boundaries for the teachers to say something to the parents. I'm sure they'll learn this year that it's not the best way to go. I would feel no pressure to go to both! Pick the one that would work better. decline the other saying you'll be at the other one and unfortunately cannot attend both.

     

     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from KMMZ1012. Show KMMZ1012's posts

    Re: January Preschoolers

    Thanks, IPW! We're really excited about #2, but we haven't told DS yet. He's been asking for a dog and when told no, then asks for a baby. So he'll be excited too, when we do tell him.

    The two parties thing is weird. I have a friend who's recently divorced and she and her ex are definitely not each other's favorite people, but they sucked it up and co hosted their kids' birthday parties. I'm not a big advocate of fibbing, but I totally believe in the small social white lie - tell the parent whose party you can't attend that you have a family obligation that day. Also, it's kind of awkward to throw two parties like that - does each kid have to bring a gift to both parties? Yikes.

    One of the teachers at DS' school stopped DH this morning to tell him something funny DS said. I love that his teachers do that - it's one of the things I'm going to miss most about where he is now. They all know him and they love to tell us the funny things he says.

    Bedtime is still a nightmare. Despite getting up an hour earlier than he usually does yesterday, he didn't settle down and sleep until almost 10 last night. Short of drugging him, I have no idea how to get him to go bed earlier. We've tried extra books, snuggling in my bed with the iPad for a few minutes before he goes to his, extra blankets and stuffed animals he can snuggle with - it's all a joke. He gets out of bed to find whichever parent is not with him at the time to try and con us into another glass of water, another half episode of a tv show, a walk around the house, etc. He says going to sleep is too hard. DH and I were ready for bed before DS was last night.

     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: January Preschoolers

    Totally agree you can't ask the teachers to intervene.  But I think I would say that we'll be at one but we can't go to both. Let the parents figure out most aren't going to put up with their craziness and go to two parties every year!

     

    KMMZ: How old is your son now? Had he always had a hard time going to sleep or is this new?  Some thoughts in no particular order: make sure you have codfish become routine.  Barh, brush teeth,  2 books, 2 songs then bye to parent and lights out. Or whatever.  And no TV or computer for 1 hour at least before bedtime,  they say that's really bad for insomnia as the Rapid eye movement for TV and computer gets your body going.  

     

    Be firm about not leaving room after lights out. Return to bed with no talking, no letting him watch that bit of TV or 1 more hug. It's all a delaying tactic. If necessary sit in room or outside of bedroom so if he gets out of room u are right there to return before he gets downstairs and gets further  awake by the trip downstairs and return up to bed. 

     

    Is he napping too long during day? I will say I get tired of parents insisting that the 2 hours their exhausted child sleeps at nap causes their child not to go to sleep at night.  Perhaps it's that limits aren't being set etc since that child falls asleep in 1 minute with no back rubs etc at nap. BUT it's also possible that your child had messed with the order of his sleep.  He's exhausted at nap because he doesn't go to bed.  So 1.5 hours at nap and that's it.  A week of this regimen and he may start to be tired at a reasonable time and go to 8 to 6 then can go back to 2 hour nap because his sleep will be at the right times.

    Your child might be a night owl and nnt be able to sleep well at night. Some kids are like this. 

     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from AnnFox8011. Show AnnFox8011's posts

    Re: January Preschoolers

    Were the invites handed out at school (placed in cubbies/school mailboxes?) Then yes, the teachers (perhaps one teacher who knows one of the parents best) should have a talk with one of the parents about the ill effects of the two parties, and the devestating results this could have on the birthday child. The teachers can figure out on their own if it's the kind of daycare/preschool where they can say something to one or both parents, or if it would be overstepping boundaries (our amazing preschool was very closeknit, and teachers were intimately involved in all aspects of children's lives--this is why I suggested the teachers intervene. perhaps other daycares are a bit more businesslike...). If invites were mailed to children's homes, I think it would be less appropriate for teachers to intervene. Again, I'm coming from a very closeknit preschool where teachers cared about all aspects of children's lives--in and out of school. Yes, you can of course politely RSVP to one party, and decline the other---but it would also be wonderful for a mediator/third party (i.e., a teacher) to talk with one or both parents about an alternative party solution. It is the child who suffers if everyone stays silent and teachers aren't notified. 

     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from allreadymarried. Show allreadymarried's posts

    Re: January Preschoolers


    No place for a teacher to intervene.

     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: January Preschoolers

    KMMZ-oh sleep problems! We just fixed DD's sleep problems-she was fine until Aug when she got sick, and we JUST corrected them last week! (or I hope we did!) No matter how consistent we were in the putting back in bed, no talking, no emotion she'd be up until 9:30-the method didn't work for my kids-it would be weeks of doing it consistently and it didn't work. I'd stand in the door way so she could see me, and she'd be up. I'd sit by her bed and she'd get up. The only thing that has worked, has been to let her sleep with shirts from DH and myself. She'll snuggle them all around her and after a book, and 3 minutes of me laying with her she'll put herself to sleep no problem. And I do have her teachers wake her up at 2pm. DS is the same way if he sleeps at school, he'll be up until 10pm, he'll stay in bed, but he'll be wide awake. But at 5 it's more age appropriate to drop naps. I have two children who do not have high sleep needs. I think only once have they fallen asleep at the table eating lunch-they have never fallen asleep randomly.

    So, I'm coming to the realization that some of my good girlfriends, are not good mom-friends. We recently had a play date with one of my good friends, and it just dawned on me that I need to keep it just ladies events. Past few times she's complained about other children, and their mothers  (example, another child pushed her child, other child's mother gave pusher appropriate time out-my friend came running to me to tell me to get me involved). It would be one thing if the mother didn't respond to the child, but when the mother is on top of things-really!?! I'm sad at this realization because I had hoped out kids would be close, but man, I just can't take the drama!

     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from KMMZ1012. Show KMMZ1012's posts

    Re: January Preschoolers

    Hi, CT -

    DS is 4.5. We have a routine with him - bath every other night, teeth, toilet, books, etc. We usually turn off the tv about 1/2 hr before bed. He just doesn't want to go to bed. He only naps for about an hour at school (and never on the weekends) and they're going to phase out his nap over the next couple months. If he doesn't nap, they don't force him, so it's not a big deal. We started cutting his nap back about a year and a half ago, just because he was going to bed so late.

    He gets about 9-10 hours sleep a night (usually more on the weekends because he has playdates and swimming lessons and visits with grandparents that exhaust him). This time of year is horrible because the kids can't really run around outside at school (no going outside if the temp is less than 35 or snowing or raining and guess what? It's been crap weather for a month now) so I've tried to take that into consideration - that he hasn't run off all his energy and he's still jumpy.

    He had a tough day at school yesterday so they had a dance party in the gym to try and get his "angries" out and he felt better. We may start dance partying at home at night to try and get some of his energy out.

    DH and I take turns putting him to bed and I notice he gets out of bed a lot more with DH than he does with me. So there might be something there as well.

    On a happy note, we told him about the baby yesterday and he's so excited. He called both set of grandparents and told them he was having a baby. He wants a sister and whenever we try and gently tell him it could be a brother, he gets this murderous look on his face - "No brothers. I am getting a sister. There's a sister in there." Well, he's got until the end of July/beginning of August to chill out over it.

     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: January Preschoolers

    KMZ. No more getting out of bed. No more extra glasses of water. If you have to stay in his room until he falls asleep then do that. But no talking. When my DD gets like this I sit on the floor and bow my head (like I'm asleep). I do not talk to her. If she tries to get up I wordlessly put her back in the bed. After a few days your DS should get the idea and start going to sleep. My twins are 4 1/2 too and I find that staying in their room is the fastest way to get them to sleep. DS goes down in about 3 minutes flat if I just sit on the floor next to his bed. If I leave, he's up asking for something. Most of the time DD goes down better if I stay as well. Although sometimes when she's being chatty, I leave. I tell her I'm going to the bathroom or to get my pajamas and I'll be right back. Often she's asleep by the time I come back to check on her. But most of the time I just stay and they fall asleep. I aim for 8:00 - if they stay up too late they seem to get a second wind. But mine don't nap (haven't since they were 2.9). They get up around 6:45am so almost 11 hours of sleep.

    Good luck!

     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from luvRIboy. Show luvRIboy's posts

    Re: January Preschoolers

    Lily, I do the same thing with my 3 year old...we brush teeth, get into bed for stories, then I turn out the light and I sit with her until she falls asleep (usually less than 5 minutes).  Like you, if she is being chatty, I'll go put on pjs or brush my teeth or check in on her brother to buy myself a couple of minutes so she settles back down.  

    Neither of my kids (or we as parents) did well with cry it out.  I subscribe to the idea that if they want someone there with them, they should have it, at least as long as they're little.  Same for when they call for me at night.  I go, and they are usually back asleep within a couple of minutes.  Something about the reassurance that they are not alone. I see my job as their mom to make them feel safe and loved and protected, and to know that I will answer if they call.  Every time I've tried cry it out or more formal sleep training, it is more work and heartache for all of us, and even when it works, something will change in a few months (a move, a growth spurt, whatever) and we are back to the beginning.  I know that those for whom it works are firm believers, but it has never worked for me!  

     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from KMMZ1012. Show KMMZ1012's posts

    Re: January Preschoolers

    It's funny you say that because we actually do stay with him until he falls asleep. Threatening to leave the room is usually what gets him back into bed. He has such an active mind, though, that I think he's just whirring when there's no noise or distraction. There's always noise in the house and the quiet at night might be keeping him awake, if that makes sense. We might try a white noise machine, but I would hate for him to go from being dependent on one thing (mom and dad in the room) to another.

    This too shall pass. It probably seems worse right now because I'm so flipping tired all the time, but I know DH has been wiped at night too. He actually did fall asleep in DS's room the other night.

    We started reading the Flat Stanley with him this past week (they were a Christmas gift) and that's been a good ritual, to recap what we read the night before and read a couple more chapters before bed.

     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: January Preschoolers

    KMMZ, you have my sympathy because sleep stuff is so hard, and you must be wicked sleepy yourself right now.  I will say that I always feel like having a plan makes it better for me mentally.  If DH and I both know what to do and there's no questions, I feel less stressed about it.  For DD it has worked well to do the repeated check ons, like I go take my contacts out and then check on her, go brush my teeth and then check on her, et cetera.  And I will keep checking on her as long as she is lying down quietly.

    I really like luv's philosophy, but DD just takes too long to fall asleep, plus she will keep looking to see if I'm there.  That's how we settled on repeated checks, to give her the comfort that we were there and would keep taking care of her, checking even if she doesn't call.  (Related: CT, I will say that my DD gets in that cycle - if she naps too long, she can't fall asleep at night and then she is SO tired when I try to get her up in the morning.  I know it doesn't make sense, but it might just be that workday wake up time is not in keeping with her natural night owl tendencies, so she has to be tired enough to fall asleep early enough at night.  I have to wake her up after 1 hour of nap or she will be awake past 10 PM, just lying there in bed!)

    Unrelated: just found out that another of DD's teachers is leaving.  Moving, this time.  No one's fault, of course, and the director and teachers are all doing the best they can.  But I'm so tired of teacher turnover.  As soon as they get settled down, it happens again.  It's almost giving me second thoughts about our decision to keep DD in the daycare center and not send her to preschool at a place we considered that was super $$$ and would have been inconvenient for two drop offs since they didn't have infants for DS... but the turnover is hard on the preschool set.

     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: January Preschoolers

    Wow, can you tell from  my post (the fact that codfish ended up in it was a good hint!) that I was on my cell phone?  Never again, I promise. I re-read my post and was glad that most of it made sense, other than the random "codfish" added in (and I have no idea what that sentence was supposed to say, and I wrote it!)

    Yes, it's just possible that your son doesn't need a gazillion hours of sleep, but it's probably that he needs more exercise than he can get in the winter.  I'd say you find some indoor playgrounds for weekends, that if it ever gets warm enough you invest in great boots for yourself so you aren't too cold (don't we always get our kids really well dressed but we're not?) and go sledding on the weekends, etc. And dance parties are a great idea, too!  You'll figure it out.

     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from cwagner13. Show cwagner13's posts

    Re: January Preschoolers

    We have the same issue with bedtime routine if the kids have not been able to go outside. Weekends, we have found indoor soccer and will be adding swimming - to get them tired. During the week, if they could not get outside at school, DH tries to find stuff like pushing weighed down laundry baskets (pretending to be like Thomas the Tank Engine shunting freight cars) and other physical activity.

    For our 3.5 year old DS, he is introverted - and he will worry about something for a while. DH and I don't know if this is age-typical, especially with some of the topics and questions he has been asking lately. For instance, we read a book about the 3 little pigs, and it starts out with "The old sow did not have enough money so she sent the 3 little pigs to make their own way...." and we did not think much about that until he asked "why didn't the old sow have enough money?" So we tried to reassure him that 1) they are pigs not people and 2) he can always stay with us, no matter how old he is. But then a few days later, he asked "do you have enough money to keep me and DD?" And then later he asked "when will there be no more days ever?" (I first thought he mean when does the day end, but he meant when would there be no more days - end of the world? we were not completely sure - because that seems to be an awfully abstract concept, but he also was asking about what is dead and so on).  So we are struggling with how do we address these questions without making it too simple or talking down but at the same time, not getting into concepts that are beyond his knowledge/experience. I thought we had a few more years before we got into this type of questioning...

     

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