March Preschoolers

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: March Preschoolers

    Medford, I think you can listen to your daughter tell you she doesn't want to go, she just wants to " stay home all all day" and then after you listen to her once, you say "Well, we are going to go play at the park, we can't stay inside all day. I know you  love to sit on the couch but we are going to go to the park and play on the swings" then you stop listening.  And set the limit "mary, I heard you the first time, we're all done talking about that." "I'm done listening to your whining.  Let's talk about something else."  I wouldn't keep entertaining it, or responding to it. "I'm not going to listen to you when you whine. You need to use your big girl voice." 

    sigh.  it's a long, uphill battle, though!  the thing I hate the absolute mostest in the world is whining.  Really, I get a physical reaction to it in my stomach.  My niece whined, whined, whined with my sister, but I was really clear and she didn't do it when she was around me a lot.  I'd have to spend a day reminding her I didn't listen to it, and I wouldn't, I would just keep walking around the house, doing my thing getting ready to go, whatever, and she had to run to keep up, but I wouldn't look at her or respond until she stopped.  That's after explaining why we were doing the thing, or she couldn't do the thing, whatever.  My sister would calmly stop everything she was doing and explain for the 100th time why, and my niece got so much attention from it, so of course she kept doing it.  And then the other 1/2 of the time, my sister would give in to the whining, so of course that trained my niece to keep trying, since it worked quite a bit of the time!

    And standing and staring at you (balefully or not) while you  play with brother at the library is better than whining and stomping her feet! 


    You and IPW have a cautious, slow to warm up kid, that's probably not going to change, but giving them lots of opportunities to practice and do it again and again, and sometimes doing well (playing in the bouncy house, going skiiing) and sometimes not (leaving the bouncy house when another child enters, not skiiing the 2nd time) is part of the package. 

    medford, eventually it will be great for your daughter to take a lesson or two, but I'd wait until she was 6 yrs old at least, and then think about the kind of lessons - perhaps ballet where there aren't too many kids and where they are kind of more orderly vs. gymnastics with tumbling and scary physical stuff.  Or taking music lessons where you sit in a chair in an orderly fashion and each have your own instrument vs. having to grab and get them from a pile in the middle.  Thank goodness your daughter goes to childcare, where she is constantly with many children, having to deal with it, that will make kindergarten so much easier for her, seriously. I know her transition to preschool was hard, but this is a time where what she is most learning is all that social skill stuff, time to learn to read is in elementary school, and having her learn all the social stuff now is critical so it doesn't get in the way of her learning in elem. school. Still, she'll always be shyer, and hang back until she observes others, and that's fine, as long as she eventually does try the thing. 

  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from KMMZ1012. Show KMMZ1012's posts

    Re: March Preschoolers

    The bad news? The neverending stomach bug hit our house - DH had it last weekend, DS got it Tuesday, I had it Friday. DH had the worst of it - a full 48 hours. DS only had it 12, I had it about 36 hours. DS and I couldn't even hold water down (which is not good when you're 5 months pregnant!).


    The good news? DS got into the kindergarten we were hoping for! I never thought, as the daughter of public school teachers, I would ever send my kid to private school, but I'm not comfortable with the standards I'm seeing in public schools these days. Kids aren't taught to think, they're taught to pass a test. I'm hoping he gets better than that where we're sending him.


    CT - I always appreciate your long, detailed thoughts on everything, esp. the epi-pen post earlier. DS doesn't have food allergies (knock on wood), but kids in his class do. His teachers do travel with the epi-pens, which I didn't think was that unique, but I guess it is? I don't know how you and your colleagues put up with some of the mundane BS that's handed down on high. My parents always grumbled about some of it and, as union reps, actually took issues like that to admin. But getting the change was always a slow and painful process.

  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts

    Re: March Preschoolers

    KMMZ - I am so sorry for you and your family... it only hit my DS1 (fortunately for the rest of us, unfortunately for him) but he was SOO miserable for those 12 hours.  I can't imagine any of that being pregnant.  Hopefully your pregnancy is going well, otherwise!

    CT - thank you so much for all the info.  You are a huge help.  Fortunately, our center is very nut free, and they provide all the food, so no one is bringing in lunches and snacks from the outside (birthday treats are closely monitored).  There are some other kids with very serious allergies, so all the teachers are trained exactly as you mention.  Before now, I actually thought their nut rules were insane.  I guess I am going to be quite a hypocrite now!

    The blood test results came back and his allergy is just to cashews and pistachios.  All other tree nuts totally fine, and peanuts totally fine.  Our pedi recommended going to an allergist to get better educated and see about doing some skin tests.  I do now have 5 epi-pens (overkill I thought, but maybe not so with CT's advice.)  School does have one, we each carry one.  I'm nervous to put in his backpack for fear of other kids getting in and playing with it... or even him playing with it.  I'm not sure I want to teach him about it yet.  The allergist will have a recommendation I'm sure.  We met with him next week.

  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: March Preschoolers

    Yes, CT, thanks for posting!  I always get excited to hear your perspective.  It's so tough about the lessons... it's hard to hear her simultaneously express interest and fear.  And people don't get it... the other day my SIL referred to it being "socially unacceptable" to not play soccer.  I was annoyed, but part of me also felt that in a way, she's right!

    I am definitely struggling with the "I'm not going to answer that question again" thing - I try to do it, but a lot of the time it really escalates her.  She starts to go into a "why won't you answer me?" freak out.  I think I need to review the plan with her at a calm time.  I also had good luck yesterday by just changing the subject.

    Sorry to hear about all the stomach bugs going around!

  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: March Preschoolers

    I just learned from a father of a 4 yr old who has allergies that they have a new epipen!  the new epipen is shaped like an iphone, and about the same size, so it's easier to put in your pocket (esp. if you're a man who doesn't carry a purse).  It was developed by 2 men who both have nut allergies and hated having to carry that huge thing around, given it doesn't fit nicely in a pocket. (think inflexible cigar, in a HARD plastic case)

    I'm going to look into it just to learn about it.  I have a purse so my epipen is fine, but I wanted you all to see if you could learn about it, too.

    Honestly, I wouldn't have a 3 yr old child carry his own epipen now - by backpack I meant the emergency one that the teachers take when they go for walks.  And that your husband is going to have to figure out how to carry one when he's with your son and you're not there (when you're there, the epipen will be in your purse).  Which brings me back to the paragraph above, about the new epipen!

    Now, when your child is in elementary school you might have to secrete said epipen somewhere on your child's person, or in the classroom, given it might have to be locked in the nurse's office.  But you'll ask and then you'll figure it out at that point, which is 2 years from now! 

    Well, med, does she really want to do ballet or another class?  Do you have a friend whose child does take lessons who has a "bring a friend day" and your daughter could be the friend? That way it gets her the feel of a lesson without the commitment.  Or is there a "show and tell" day on the first day of the class where it's free so you don't need to make a financial commitment? 

    If saying you won't discuss it again escalates her, then you don't do it, and you change the subject if that works, good for you for finding something that works.  Your daughter is a tough one, isn't she? Smile So here's what you repeat:  at least she's not triplets! 

    We had triplet 2 yr, 9 month olds at backup today.  We've had them coming since they were about 18 months old when their nanny is sick.  Their parents are incredible people (honestly, if I were told I was having triplets, I think my response would be, no way, I'm not, can we send 1 or 2 back where they came from? LOL).  They are patient, give each child what they need, but man, when all 3 talk at once it'll make your head spin!  And each parent often does drop off alone! Get them out of the car, walk into the center, deal with crying children at drop off - seriously, these people need an award!  And really, they seem so calm and not 300% frazzled.  Again, don't know how they do it.  They are about to toilet train them... can you IMAGINE doing it with THREE?  Of course, I know Lily and Daisy and our other twin mothers did it with 2, so what's one more?  Smile

    But it does give you perspective - it's funny, they don't come very often (they have a great nanny) but our full time parents recognize them, one even said "wow, they've grown up so much" - at pick up tonight.  They've become our little mascots! We have a couple sets of twins, but I think this is our only set of triplets.  One of the kids used to get carsick EVERY time she came to the center.  So they'd have to change her outfit after arrival and deal with a carseat.  Well, we'd help with the outfit changing, of course!  Now that they are front facing she doesn't get carsick (knock on wood!)

  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: March Preschoolers

    ha ha, CT, I'm not sure if she is a tough one or if I am just dramatic!  I think she probably has, let's say, a different set of challenges.  I remember at daycare pick up a few months ago, a teacher was speaking to another little girl on the side because she kept kissing everybody and wouldn't stop.  I thought, "Huh.  Well, that's a whole different problem!"

    Triplets, oy.  I am not even sure about handling a third singleton baby.