Potty training question - #2

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts

    Potty training question - #2

    Hello all,

    We started training about 3 weeks ago. DS (2.10) got the hang of #1 pretty quick, and we have no accidents there.  He actually must have a pretty good bladder as he can even hold it for quite some time  (he's still in a diaper overnight, and its soaked by morning, but no big deal for me there).  He has not at all got the #2 senstation yet.  Good news/bad news.  He's not holding it... so we're not having any constipation issues.  He's not asking for his diaper for it (we went straight to underwear... no pull ups, except for a few long car rides we've had to do, and oddly enough, both times they've been dry).  But, he's just letting loose with #2.  Which means every day we have one #2 accident in his underwear.  Any tricks to helping him with this second step?  We did 1 M&M for pee and 2 M&Ms for p00p, but has made no difference (other than when we dump his p00p in the potty he asks for M&Ms... sorry kid!).  I know the sensations are totally different... I have friends who all say #2 takes longer to figure out.  Just wondering if anyone had any good suggestions for what may have worked well in their house?

    And maybe CT can weigh in here.  Not to be too graphic, but when its fairly formed, they will dump, rinse his undies and return to me in a bag.  When not... they throw the undies away.  We're using the training underwear (much thicker) so these aren't cheap.  I totally get the teachers not wanting to clean up 20 kids' messy underwear.  But ahhhh, I'm getting frustrated now having lost several pairs.  What do daycares do for mom's who use cloth diapers?  Throw them all away??

    Thanks everyone.

  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: Potty training question - #2

    We don't use cloth diapers at our center, so can't help you there.  The thing is, if you ask them to just put really messy underwear in a bag to take home - they'll have to double bag it for smell reasons (it will sit in the cubby all day, in the classroom, ugh) and then also deal with the whole idea of hygiene, with BM underpants in a cubby all day - double ugh, no way!  The thing is, licensing states we can't give children baths, and we also can't deal with BM in a sink like you can at home (well, the laundry sink, not the kitchen one).  We just can't rinse out that BM in the bathroom sink when there are 8 or 9 other children (and 2 or 3 adults) using that sink for handwashing - just can't.  I think if they can't dump it easily, you might need to lose those.  I get they are expensive.  You can decide to put him in pullups for a while but still expect that he do #1 in the potty, and soon he'll be going in the potty for both. Or you can keep doing what you do with underpants and hope he gets it soon.  I'm not a huge one for pullups, but if he's really not got a clue, you could put him back in the diapers, if you want, until he's a bit more ready for #2. 

    Does he have a time or time of day when he generally does #2? (before lunch, right after morning snack, at 4pm, whatever)?  If so then you might have him sit on the potty during that time and read a book, sing some songs, see if you  can 'catch' him doing #2.  But I bet not, because if he just doesn't feel it, then I bet he's not regular - and you also can't tell he's doing it - some kids strain, focus, get red in the face, etc.  If he has a tell, then hustle to potty and try to 'catch' him.  Does he hide when he does #2?  If so, hustle him to the potty to sit when he starts that.

  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from purplecow89. Show purplecow89's posts

    Re: Potty training question - #2

    Cheap undies under the expensive training ones or use those throw away diaper liners?

  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts

    Re: Potty training question - #2

    CT - thanks so much for responding.  I totally get that they can't put messy pants in his cubby for 8 hours or more, and I get the washing part too - all makes sense for the cleanliness of the center and other kids.  Its one of those situations where I'm just unsure of our next step.  He does not have a time of day - often in the morning, but yesterday it was closer to noon, sometimes evening.  And no special place or red faces.  And he walked into our kitchen yesterday p00ping.  He's kinda like a horse... can p00p while doing just about anything it seems.  He knows its supposed to go in the potty.  He knows he gets the special 2 M&Ms if he p00ps in the potty, and he knows immediately after he's done it that he needs to get changed... but the sensation is just getting ahead of him. 

    I absolutely don't want to go back to diapers because he is 100% pee trained, with no accidents (he even seems to hold it for naps).  I'm contemplating pull ups for daycare (at least until he p00ps that day... then perhaps they could put him back to undies if they wouldn't mind).  I know that would be much easier for them, and hopefully he wouldn't regress and start peeing in the pull ups.  I'll ask the center director for her advice on that strategy.  My SIL gave me almost an entire bag leftover from her son, so I have about 50 of them for starters.  I'm just so, so nervous of going backwards.

  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALS76. Show ALS76's posts

    Re: Potty training question - #2

    Hi IPW.  We had a similar situation with my DD for potty training.  She would do great with #1, but #2 took a bit longer.  And yes, her daycare would sometimes throw out the undies that were just too gross to save.  At first I wasn't sure what I thought about that, but then sometimes I was just glad to not have to deal with that at the end of a long day!  Out of sight, out of mind!  I would suggest buying cheaper underwear for daycare I guess.

    My other thought is to not discount that fact that you are pg and its impact on this process for your DS.  My daughter's teachers all took the fact that I was expecting another baby into account when DD was potty training.  It did have a psychological impact on the process.  They say that they see that a lot.  To give some support to their theory - I would always ask DD why she poo'ed in her pants whenever she did it and why she wouldn't go on the potty.  She would reply "because you'll change me mommy".  Well - that is a simple enough answer!!!  I'm far from an expert on this subject - but I guess my having to change her was perhaps a way to keep a part of that parent/baby relationship intact for her while a big change was looming on the horizon (birth of her baby sister).  But I will happily say that that phase passed and she is now totally trained (with the occassional accident) and did not regress when DD2 was born.

  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: Potty training question - #2

    At our daycare if you use cloth diapers they bag them "as is" and you get them at the end of the day.  No dumping or rinsing.  I can't remember if they used their regular plastic bags or if we had to supply a bag (you can get cloth diaper "wet bags").  I decided, like ALS said, that I couldn't deal with that at the end of the day and went with disposable for daycare.  I know this isn't really addressing the issue of how not to have p00p in underwear, but I would definitely go for either cheaper underwear or cheaper inside the training as purplecow suggested, and be glad you don't have to wash it!  Have you seen the Gerber training ones at Target?  They're $7 or $8 for a three pack which I thought was reasonable.

  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from purplecow89. Show purplecow89's posts

    Re: Potty training question - #2

    99 cent stores have cheap everything!

  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: Potty training question - #2

    I wouldn't do 2 pairs of underpants, as that makes it harder for him to get them down.

    I would suggest pullups UNDER his underpants until he's done #2, then his underpants are already there, on his body, without having to take his shoes and pants off to get them on - they just take the pullup off, clean him up, and voila!  Much easier for childcare when there are 9 in the room so that could work.  I would just say "you need to learn to do #2 in the potty - until then, you're going to wear pullups (do NOT call them diapers) until you do your #2.  And if that upsets him then you can say "when you do #2 in the potty 3 days you can stop wearing pullups."  and that might motivate him, or it might just be that he doesn't quite have the sensation of "I need to go, do something about it!" - he of course knows when he HAS done it, as it makes a mess. And the teachers need to treat him like a toilet trained kid even tho he has pullups on - that is, he goes potty with all the other kids, at the right times, etc. so that he keeps his pullups dry.  And you can talk about pullups being "for #2" which should differentiate it.

    Or you can just hang in, keep doing what you're doing, and deal with losing some undies.  But if it doesn't change in 1 or 2 weeks, you're going to need to revisit this and just get that he's not ready for that - and that's fine1  We have many kids who keep diapers completely dry for weeks before we jump off the cliff and go for undies.

  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts

    Re: Potty training question - #2

    I spoke with both the director and our teacher yesterday.  We're going to try pullups in the morning, still treating them like undies i.e. he needs to use the potty for pee.  They are harder for him to get down on his own, so hopefully they will help him during allocated potty time or when he says he has to go (he doesn't like to be told when to go, but is very good about saying when he needs to pee and then holding it until he gets there).  Hopefully he'll have a BM in the morning (which is probably common 7 times out of 10) and then they will put him in his underwear.  For the rare time he has a second BM, they can throw away if needed.  We'll see how this works.

    ALS, interesting note about your daughter still wanting that close time with you.  I'm still taking DS to pee all times at home.  He only wants to use the big toilet, and is afraid to get up on his own, even with a stepstool.  Perhaps this could also be his way of "spending time with me."  I'm ok with this for now, as taking him to the potty is still quicker than changing a diaper (although will be much harder with an infant come November).

    What a process...  thanks all.

  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from AnnFox8011. Show AnnFox8011's posts

    Re: Potty training question - #2

    Sorry to jump in, but my daughter (almost 3) is going through the same thing (100% pee-trained during the day and through naps, won't p00p in her potty). She askes us specifically for a "day diaper" (a diaper to p00p in) when she has to go. We take her underwear off, give her her "day diaper," and let her p00p. When I'm done changing her, she's back to her underwear. I've told her that someday she's going to decide that her body is ready to p00p in the potty or toilet. She's actually tried many times, but I think this is a tactile issue, and she needs the feeling of her diaper in order to p00p. I wonder if your DS would want to try asking for a pull-up for when he needs to p00p. 

  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts

    Re: Potty training question - #2

    Lauren, there is another mom on this board who has the exact same process (sorry, can't remember who).  While I'm sure its no picnic changing pants, undies, diapers, etc. and then changing back... at least this process is less messy (instead of p00p in underwear... ick).  I'm not convinced my son quite knows the sensation yet to be able to tell me in advance (whereas he picked up the pee sensation right away).  Saturday he didn't have a BM, so Sunday morning I was watching him like a hawk (in underwear all weekend).  I mentioned it about 100 times "you have to go p00p in the potty" over and over.  He kept saying "ok, yes... got it"  As he was helping me change my sheets, I noticed a bit of a strain on his face, so I quickly rushed him to the potty.  And he, from start to finish, went on the potty.  He was so proud of himself (wanted to see, etc).  So he clearly has no fear of going in the potty, and was really excited that he did... I think he's just still unsure of exactly what that pre-sensation is.  I know the teacher(s) in preschool, with 13 other kids, can't watch for every facial expression like I can on the weekends, so I'm happy to keep the pull ups on in the morning until a BM at school, then they'll move him to underwear.  He still has not pee'd in a pull up after a full week, and is using them like underwear.  So I feel good about this strategy for now and will just really work hard with him on the weekends.  Good luck with your daughter as well!