Re: Preschoolers - July Update
posted at 7/25/2013 2:05 PM EDT
Poppy - I know; it's really hard to watch. Thanks for the commiseration - the standing and watching, plus the swing thing, are EXACTLY the same. Maybe we should get them together!! My DD has always been like this, but she used to not *mind* so much just watching. Like, she'd be just watching but she'd be happy. But since DS came along, plus preschool room, it's just been way worse. If you're interested, here's an article about our kids: http://www.boston.com/yourlife/home/articles/2005/04/21/a_slow_to_warm_up_child_needs_time_to_gain_confidence/?page=full
CT - Thank you!!! Seriously, you should start a consulting business. I love hearing from you (and from our own daycare director) because I know you have had experience with such a wide range of kids. Regarding your advice, I was thinking the same thing about the pediatrician and the possibility of a therapist, but I'm glad to hear you don't think it's too crazy to wait a bit. She has her 3 year old check up in a few weeks, but I would need a separate appointment to talk to him alone. It also occurred to me about the sensory issues, but I don't think that's it because she's very physically affectionate with the trusted adults in her life (including her teachers). She also really likes loud noises (smoke alarm, fire engine, loud music), although I'm not sure if touch sensitivity and noise sensitivity always go hand in hand. So it seems to really be kids and adults she doesn't know well.
Interesting ideas about the play date! I definitely don't know any of the parents at daycare well enough to ask for a kid-only play date (like, I don't even know the parents' names), but I will start to work on building those connections. She also has one buddy we met at the library who is very similar to her. Play dates with her usually go well and I just set up another, although we haven't done any without the mom. And what ends up happening is that DD gloms onto the other mom and wants to play with her! But they just had a new baby, too, so maybe we can work towards having play dates with just the older girls.
Actually, daycare is going better the last couple of weeks. Her teacher said that she used to look tense about 50% of the time when she first started in preschool, but now she generally does not look tense except for big transitions, like when they combine with the pre-K room at the end of the day. She still has trouble if something happens, like someone pulls her hair or something - she freezes and then cries really hard. But she's been doing much better during the normal course of events. She has also been more cheerful and better behaved at home, but going places with other kids is still an issue. Last week at the beach, DH had good luck stopping the "spinning" by doing something similar to what you suggested - saying they weren't going to worry about that kid any more and they were going to play, and then doing it. He is much better than I am at thinking of alternate activities and putting an end to the "dad dad dad". I get so frustrated and so I have to put all my energy into staying calm and reassuring her that I'm there, but I can't think of how to get *out* of the spinning.
Anyway, I really appreciate all the advice and commiseration on these boards!!