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Preschoolers - October updates

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Preschoolers - October updates

    October is here! Time to panic about Halloween costumes and my DD's birthday plans!

    For DD's kid party in mid-October we've invited pretty much every kid she knows (because their parents are our friends and we love getting together), which means kids of all different ages. I think newborn to age 10. I am *hoping* (reeeeeeeeally hoping) the weather will hold and I can send them all outside, but if that doesn't work I'm not sure what I'll do. Do you think parents/kids expect actual organized activities at a 3rd birthday party? Or is it acceptable to have crafts for kids to do at their leisure, toys and games available for them to play with, then just have cake and call it a day? It's a 2 hour time frame. The last kid birthday party I was at where the mom tried to actually organize a game, it was a disaster because it was too chaotic and kids weren't listening. I might let the parents of older kids know they can bring bikes or toys if they want. I think this is the last year of a big party like this; starting next year we will probably just do her close friends of the same age and go somewhere other than my house.

  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts

    Re: Preschoolers - October updates

    Poppy, we're actually just doing family this year.  I figured this was the last year I had until DS started requesting his specific friends and specific activities (and I won't be 34 weeks PG next year too!).  Even with immediate family and god-parents, we'll still have about 20.  The cousins all range from 9 months to 13 yrs.  So quite an age spread.  I'm always amazed how well they all just manage to "play" together.  One of the 10 year olds is 10 going on 50... so he's usually with the adults.  But the rest just kinda play with DS's indoor and outdoor toys, and run around (soccer, baseball, etc.), play on the swing set and just entertain themselves.  That being said, its family so I am much less pressured to provide specific things to do.   I think your idea about providing activities and just letting them lead the way is the right course.  2 hours will go by quick so I wouldn't try to organize too much!  Have fun too... that's the important part :-)  Can't believe these kiddos are THREE.  Recall very well you and I, and a few others, being overdue and just miserable on these boards :-)

  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: Preschoolers - October updates

    Lissa - from September - HA.  And, yes, me too.  (Do you know there's a PT specialty for it, though??  Crazy.)

    Poppy - I think your idea of just having a few activities available is just fine.  Like choice time at daycare!  When kids come over our house, too, they always seem super excited to just play with our existing toys.  And 2 hours isn't very long to fill... half the people will be late, and then you'll do cake at whatever time, 45 minutes before the end or whatever.

    Potty training!  I abandoned it, and then on Sunday morning DD said she wanted the underwear and since then she's been using the potty with zero accidents (not including during nap/night).  We put a pull up over the underwear when we went to the park and later when she walked to the store with DH, but she still stayed dry.  The biggest excitement was that I was letting her decide when she wanted to go, but when I told her to go before nap and before going to the park, she went and was able to go.  I think that was missing before - she knew when she *really* needed to go, but wasn't sure how to activate the going when it was a "go-now-because-we're-going-out" time.

    We'll see how she does today with my mom and then at daycare.  I guess she just had to come around to the idea.  And maybe have it be "her idea".  ;)

  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy1022. Show poppy1022's posts

    Re: Preschoolers - October updates

    Thanks for the reassurances! I think I will just go with that plan.

    Med - how funny that the moment you decide to stop trying, she decides that's the time to do it. :) Sounds about right!

  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: Preschoolers - October updates

    Poppy, I know!  Kind of reminded me of your DD and her secret chicken eating.  :)

    She had another perfect day yesterday and even stayed dry during a 1.5 hour nap (and was apparently super conked and had a hard time waking up).  I'm a bit nervous for daycare tomorrow since it'll be a different environment and they have those tiny real toilets, and at home she's so far only used the standalone little potty.  But, she has sat on the toilets there tons of times, so hopefully it will be okay.  And, it is what it is, anyway!

  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: Preschoolers - October updates

    How did it go using potty at daycare, Med?

  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts

    Re: Preschoolers - October updates

    Two small potty stories.  And I know only the moms and dads going through it really appreciate when you tell potty stories, hence why I'm telling them here :-)  Picked DS up at school last Friday.  They were outside playing, so when we got his stuff inside, he said he had to go potty.  So we went in the bathroom in their room... they have a normal sized and a small, very low sized potty.  No lids.  He goes over to the small and lifts the top.  I tell him "oh no honey... that's not a lid like at home, you need to leave that down" thinking he's going to sit (which is all we've ever done at home).  He looks at me like I have 12 heads.  "Mommy.. I need it up so I can stand."  "You can stand????" I say in clear disbelief.  He pulls down his pants, grabs his unit and pees right in the toilet!!  Not a drop missed the bowl.  I was in complete awe.  Not going to try this at home since ours are all tall, and he'd be all over the place trying to do this standing on a stool... but how funny that daycare is teaching him this!  I'm all for it!

    Second... we had 3... count 'em... THREE trips to the potty this weekend for #2!  Saturday morning he was playing outside and came running in saying he had to go poop.  I totally didn't believe him thinking it would already be in his pants (as has been for the past 2 months), but nope... I lifted him on the seat and there he went.  Same thing Sunday morning and then again Sunday night before bedtime!  He was so, so excited and proud of himself.  I still put him in a pull up this morning for daycare... but if his teacher tells me this whole week he goes in the potty for both #1 and #2... we may be on underwear all day!  He's woken up totally dry the past 3 out of the 4 nights, and loudly exclaiming that he didn't go in his pull up... but I'm not holding my breath for overnights yet.  Besides.. would rather use a pullup at night than set myself up to change wet sheets for a full bed, pushed up against a wall at 2am anytime soon. 

    I know there is a ton of talk about pull ups confusing kids since they feel like diapers, but they have actually worked for us really well.  DS hasn't once gotten confused for pee... and perhaps he's also turned the corner recognizing the sensation for #2.  I think my really exagerating that they were "pull ups" and not diapers, and just like underwear you can't go in your pull up... helped him.  He's very clear that diapers are for babies... and underwear and pull ups for big kids!

  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from rama8677. Show rama8677's posts

    Re: Preschoolers - October updates

    Congrats IPW!  Sounds like DS is doing great!!  I will say from my experience with my DD is that she went from having never peed in a potty, to being mostly trained and wearing underpants in a matter of a few weeks.  When they "get it" they get it.  And it happens quickly.  Now, the point in which they "get it" can vary a bit from kid to kid, and some kids clearly will regress and lose interest etc. but it's exciting to see how far they come in just a few short weeks.  I agree that pull ups and diapers are different in the mind of kids, and I think how you are using them as a transition to underpants is great!  We no longer use a pull up at night for DD (we stopped after 3-4 months of being consistently dry in the morning) but when we did use them we referred to them as her "nighttime underpants".  lol.  It's all about how you "market" these things to them!!

    My latest issue with the potty is wiping.  DD (who has been "trained" for about 10 months) is now insisting on wiping herself when she goes po8p and she doesn't do a good job.  She is at the point where she will just get up from whatever activity she is doign and go to the bathroom on her own and insists on door shut privacy (which is great!!!).  But then she doesn't do a good job wiping and has po8p streaks in her undies (not great!!!).  So recently, whenever she goes to the bathroom, I am forced to follow her there and nag her ("Are you po8ping? Let me check your wiping to make sure you are all clean!). I have instructed the teachers at school to do the same, although it is harder for them because there are other kids they need to watch.  It is a constant fight/struggle because she wants to be independent.  Sigh. Am I going to need to do a sticker chart for doing a good job wiping?  Oh the things they don't tell you about being a parent... :)

  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: Preschoolers - October updates

    Yay, IPW! Huge success! And I agree with you about the pull-ups - in fact, I have not even found diapers to confuse her now that she's "trained". She always, always remarks about going #1 or #2 in her diaper. Every night before bed we put the diaper on, and every night a little while later she'll say, "Do I have a diaper on?" and I'll say yes and she'll pause and say, "I'm tinkling," with this conspiratorial smile. She totally gets the difference.

    Rama - I'm a firm believer in sticker charts for anything!! Ha, I remember well having to wipe my little cousins when I babysat them eons ago. I'm sure it hasn't gotten any more fun in 20 years.

  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: Preschoolers - October updates

    Ha, rama.  I know!  IPW, awesome news!

    it went well at daycare, Poppy, thanks!  Actually, since she decided to go for it 8 days ago, only one accident (at home).  She used the potty at daycare fine, and this weekend we used the folding travel potty and a friend's big potty and those went well, too.  I have yet to brave a regular public restroom!  And we are putting a pull up over her underwear when we go places, although so far it hasn't been needed.  She has been dry at nap so we're doing underwear for nap, but nowhere near to dry at night.

    Just now before nap she took a dramatic fall from her stool and smashed her face on the shower because she was doing a dance move while holding on to the counter with a wet hand.  Sigh.  Hope she's not going to give me a hard time about getting back on the stool!


  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: Preschoolers - October updates

    Just came back to ETA but will just do a new post. We went to the Children's Museum yesterday. I know I'm way behind the eight ball, but it was great and I can't wait to get back. We'd never been! It was busy on a sunday morning/afternoon, but still doable. (And, we saw John Travolta. Super cool.) Both kids (1 and 3) loved it.

    Medford - I hope DD is ok! Poor thing. Otherwise, sounds like the potty stuff is going really well! I have found public restrooms to be ok, other than the general ick factor. What has been hard were the one or two times I've been out with them both without a stroller and DD has to go potty. Try holding one child while getting the other situated on a big, unfamiliar potty... it's tricky. One time I had to relinquish all of my germophobe tendancies and actually put DS on the floor. I'm still somewhat traumatized. DH had to take DD to the potty at BJs last week, but he said they did ok. I'm also a bit traumatized by her going into a men's room, but he said it was otherwise empty.

  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: Preschoolers - October updates

    Rama-DS when through a phase when he was a horrible wiper-so we put a pack of wipes in the bathroom and that makes wiping much easier. He knows not to flush them which is great! He's now going through a phase when he's asking me to wipe him "because he loves me so much." joy!

    warning, once your kids teeth start falling out-they ALL start falling out. DS has now lost 4 teeth! The last two accelerated due to a collision with his sister's hard head. And let me warn you, you will just cry when you see your baby with no front teeth! I mean, that's only for big kids! Due to the trama we did take DS to the dentist, and she sat there in amazement that he's not even 5 and has lost 4 teeth, with adult teeth clearly making their way. next will be chest hair and dropping his voice. sigh.

  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: Preschoolers - October updates

    KAM, Rama - that reminds me that I saw "flushable toddler wipes" at CVS.  Not sure if they're bad for the plumbing or not, though.

    KAM - that's so sad/sweet about the lost teeth!

    Poppy - DD goes to the men's locker room with DH every week after swim class and I felt weird about it at first, but I've gotten used to it, plus the swim class is almost all dads so she's definitely not the only one.

    Regarding the fall, she's totally fine, although now I feel a little bad I wasn't more sympathetic!  It was a big crash and she was definitely not faking it, but I was still a little irritated because it came right on the heels of one of my quality "don't fool on the stool" lectures, which was soundly ignored.  She's gotten a lot more adventurous physically lately (climbing the tallest ladder at the playground, perching on the arm of the sofa, picking up her feet from her stool and balancing on her belly on the counter like supergirl...)  It's nice to see overall, but we definitely have more lectures and more crashes.

  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: Preschoolers - October updates

    Hope everyone's had a good week! I'm going away with a group of girlfriends this weekend, renting a house for a girls' getaway. Can't wait!

    Have any of you dealt with imaginary friends? DD (3 in 1.5 weeks) has started "pretending" that two of her friends (actually the two older sisters of one of her little friends) are at our house. All the time. I put "pretending" in quotes because I feel like it's not necessarily pretending to her. It's kind of cute and funny... except when it's not. Like when she has a meltdown at dinner because there isn't a chair for Paige (we only have 4 kitchen chairs, and with the addition of her friends, there are 5 of us at the table). Full meltdown, never ate her dinner. No consoling her. We have her 3 year pedi appointment soon so I'll ask her, but not sure quite how to deal in the meantime. She's also saying she doesn't need help with the potty because Paige or Brooke can help her. So she won't let me in the bathroom. Which resulted in tinkle on the floor the other day (not because she missed, but because she spilled when pouring from little potty into big potty. I think it's partially a way to exert independence, which is fine, but I didn't expect it to last this long (it's been a week strong). Any experience with this?

  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: Preschoolers - October updates

    Poppy, we have a lot of invisible people at our house, too.  Although ours tend to come and go a bit more.  I think your pediatrician will say it's normal for the age.  On a more practical note, though, when I am in your shoes (that is, when the invisibles are at our house), I try to respect their presence but still put my foot down a little.  Like I might say, "that's great that they are here to help you with the potty, but they're still kids, too, and you need a grown up so I'm coming in."  Or sometimes I have had to say, "you can choose one cushion of the couch for you and your friends to use, and then other people can use all the others."  We had to crack down on that because she kept getting all upset when we sat where invisible friends or things were (invisible changing station for dolls, invisible post office, invisible people), and then if someone moved she'd say that wherever they moved to housed some other invisible thing.  I think, like you said, it's them wanting to be independent and in my DD's case to claim everything for herself!

    Often I step on the invisible people or things so that's a fiasco.  The worst we had is that she's often pretending to be someone else (older kid at daycare, the mom, daycare teachers, librarian, et cetera) and sometimes she gets really upset if you call her by her actual name during those times.  We finally had to say, "you can be Miss Ashley [or whoever] but you also still have your name, XYZ.  We can still call you XYZ even though you're Miss Ashley."  She's okay with that now.

    Maybe she can help you solve the problem?  Maybe Paige and Brooke can share a seat?  Or she can get one of them an invisible chair?  (I realize that sometimes redirecting this is just WAY too exhausting at the end of the day, when you also have the baby.  Been there!)

  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from lissafro. Show lissafro's posts

    Re: Preschoolers - October updates

    Ah, pretend friends.  DD has had a whole gaggle of them for a while, now.  It started when I was on maternity leave with my second and DD was home from daycare.  She pretty much pretended she was still at school because she missed her friends and teachers.  I had to be Miss Renee ALL THE TIME, she would call me "teacher" instead of mom and I was supposed to call her "kid" instead of her name.  All her real friends from school became imaginary friends.  We would sit on the floor in a "circle" and play "if your name is ___ jump up and down" and sing the song for hours it seemed, heaven forbid I forget any of the imaginary friends' names. 

    When I went back to work and she went back to school we had a bit of a transition when she was back with the real Jayleen, Tristan, Darius, Pheobe, Jayden, etc. and those real human beings didn't always do her bidding or otherwise live up to her expectations. '

    Now she still talks to Jayleen, Tristan, and Pheobe sometimes while she's home.  It's a good way to gague her mood. When Jayleen is hanging out DD is content perhaps slightly bored.  When Tristan shows up she's feeling slightly tired or mischievous (Tristan frequently "keeps her up" at night and sometimes "wakes her up" in the morning on weekends).  If Pheobe shows up she's close to the edge maydaymayday past the point of no return.

  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts

    Re: Preschoolers - October updates

    We don't have imaginary friends yet, but DS does tons of imaginary things.  Like yesterday he got in his "car to go get pizza."  I could see him "pull up to the restaurant, take the pizzas and put them in the back of his car."  He does a lot of imaginary stuff like this... its cute so it hasn't caused any disruption yet.  Although my DH said one day after school he was forced to open the tailgate and put DS's "tractor" in the back of the truck.  He said he was mildly embarrassed... but it was cute. 

    DS turned 3 on Sunday.  Yikes!  He is such a big boy now.  Don't think there are any words or conversations he can't understand and participate in. Has so many great thoughts and I just love talking to him.  I'm biased of course, but I think he is just so smart and fun.  He's #2'd it he potty for over a week... and he was disappointed in himself this morning that he had pee'd overnight in his pull up.  So I think we are 95% trained!!!  So glad I just followed his lead and let it happen when he was ready.

    I'm trying not to be nosey but am worried about his cousin... only 10 months younger and isn't speaking at all.  Was here at our b'day party and just grunts and points.  He tries SO HARD to communicate but has no words.  So instead he is a holy terror.  His parents kinda tune him out, pay a lot of attention to the younger 10 mth old, and the 2.3 year old is destructive, I think, as a way to get attention.  I feel like he's crying out for help... he was trying to "ask" me for a sweater and I could see the frustration on his face when I had no idea what he wanted.  When I finally got it... he was so relieved.  Hard topic to broach with a parent - he did have his 2 year check up... I'd imagine any doctor would ask about words at age 2, right?

  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: Preschoolers - October updates

    Ok, seems our little invisible house guests are not uncommon for this age. Lissa, I love that each friend was connected to a state of mind. :) The dinner issue was solved last night exactly how you suggested, Medford: they all sat on each other's laps. Seemed to satisfy DD.

    Happy birthday, little IPW! And great news about the potty progress!


  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: Preschoolers - October updates

    I posted too quick, meant to add that I, too, would wonder about this little guy. Probably the parents are well aware but maybe are having difficulty dealing with it. How are these people related to you? Your side, or DH's? Are either of you close to either parent? I have never found a comfortable way of bringing these things up. I suspected a friend's son of having autism when he was really little, and even her pediatrician mentioned  it, but she was so aghast at the idea and dismissive, that I didn't say anything. Now he's 3 and has been officially diagnosed and she'll say things like, "I wish someone had brought this up to me sooner!" It's so hard. At that age, our pediatrician was still doing 6 month visits, so maybe they'll be going again in a few months and more will be said...

  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from cwagner13. Show cwagner13's posts

    Re: Preschoolers - October updates

    IPW - that is a tough situation and it is going to depend on your relationship to these relatives. Your description sounds very worrisome - although it is hard to know if this is just on that day or if that is their normal daily routine, but if they are in the habit of tuning him out or focused too much on the younger child, they may not even realize there is anything amiss. Especially if the child is not in daycare. On the other hand, they may be aware - or they may be uninterested in hearing from other parents... many parents don't want to consider anything is wrong or amiss until too late.

    I know as a parent, I would rather know earlier than later, but I would also take the daycare teachers and pediaticans more seriously if they bring up concerns than someone I don't know as well.

  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: Preschoolers - October updates

    We don't have invisible friends in our house, we have a stuffed lovie whom DS thinks is real. "OH, Mommy you're squeezing kitty too tight! you need to pet him gently" as I pick up the darn stuffed cat! Oh, and when "kitty" talks to me and not DS! man, that's frustrating.

    DS asked me over the weekend, and I was floored that I got this question already, "Mommy, who do you love more, me or DD?"

    As for the delayed cousin, in similar situations I reference my kid's pedi's office visit and all the questions we have to answer, to try and open the door for discussion, comparison and compassion. Is the child in day care?

  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from luvRIboy. Show luvRIboy's posts

    Re: Preschoolers - October updates

    We have lots of invisible people at our house too.  DD (3 in 2 weeks) likes to be the teacher and talk to her "children", doing circle time, and activities.  But she has to do it out of our line of vision, so a lot of times, her "classroom" is in our foyer, or if we're upstairs, she's in her room teachinge everyone.  She also spent a lot of time a couple of weeks ago pretending her nemesis from school (a kid who bit her) was there, and she was telling him to listen and behave.  

    I lived through my first terrible public tantrum with her yesterday.  We'd had a great day....outside for most of it...and then were stopping to get some extra PJs at Carters (fleece on sale for $8/pair!!) and she desperately wanted a necklace, which I refused to get.  On the floor flailing.  When I got her to the car (somehow managing to carry her limp body, her 13 month old brother and the bag of purchases), she kept crying and telling me how she needed the necklace.  It was terrible, heartbreaking and kind of funny.  THe kicker was this morning, after she got dressed, she looked at me with a sad face and said "I wish I had that necklace".  

    IPW, about the cousin: the time is now for "expires" when he turns 3.  We have a friend who's daughter regressed her speech at around that age and went to EI, and has now (almost 3) completely caught up.  They used some sign language to help her with the big stuff as a transition, and it was great for her.  Given that you actually were talking with the little guy, I might just call his mom, say how great it was that they were there, and mention that he seemed frustrated that he's not talking more.  Just put it out there like that and see what she says.  It's hard, because as parents, I think we take everything our kids do (success or challenge) personally, so you don't want to put that feeling on another parent...and happy birthday to your son!!!

  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: Preschoolers - October updates

    I like the EI suggestion. You could do exactly what Luv suggested, even saying something like, "I have a friend who had some questions about her child's speech and called EI and they were really helpful." making it sound less like you're saying there's a problem and she should call, and more like somewhere to call with questions. I don't recall if you need a doctor's referral to contact them?

  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: Preschoolers - October updates

    Wanted to share in case you all hadn't seen this! Sale on Melissa and Doug toys.


  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: Preschoolers - October updates

    It's funny how much alike kids are sometimes.  DD loves to play daycare, like lissa and luv, and usually she is the teacher and calls me "kid".  I am supposed to interrupt the story so she can tell me off.  She also spends a lot of time scolding the invisibles for standing up so their invisible friends can't see the pictures, and occasionally she has to get up to go get an invisible who left the circle when they weren't supposed to.

    And, Luv, congratulations to you for surviving!  :)  And my DD uses that same language... "I wish I could have shoes like that."  with the sad face.

    Happy birthday, little IPW!  And, that's so sad about the cousin.  I would think a good quality daycare would bring it up with the parents, if he is in one.  Also sounds like he could be great with signing, if he knows what he wants but can't say it.  But yeah, EI would be a great resource for them, but certainly hard to bring up, depending on your relationship to the parents.  Did you at one point have an EI eval?  Might be easier to bring up if you share that you were in the same boat with worries about development.