April Pregnancy

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from rama8677. Show rama8677's posts

    April Pregnancy

    Hi, all, happy April!

    To continue the discussion where we left off in March -

    Re: Bumbo.  my DD never loved the Bumbo but it was helpful to have for a few key weeks where she was close to sitting up on her own and really liked being upright.  The bumbo definitely gets the baby more upright than proping with a boppy pillow.  My DD was a back archer and she almost flipped herself right out of the bumbo a few times, but it was totally fine because I was right there.  Some kids you can leave in the bumbo for a minute, and others you can't; my dd was definitely in the latter group.  They are fairly easy to find on craigslist and at yardsales etc. so if you don't have one on your registry, i'm sure you could come across one for cheap somewhere along the way.  I've heard there is an alternate brand, i think it's called the bea bea pod or something like that, and that brand is supposed to be safer.  Just keep in mind that this particular piece of baby equipment, more so than others, is really only useful for a month or two at most - from when your baby is old enough to sit and support his/her head until your baby is sitting upright on his/her own. 

    Liz - While I haven't had extreme feelings like it sounds like you are having, I am also going through a rough time at 21 weeks. I have been really sad and anxious about how having this second baby will affect my DD and our family dynamic.  I have talked to other pregnant moms and it seems like this is a really common time to have these feeligns in pregnancy and most women i've talked to say it goes away towards the end.  Obviously, I'd talk to your doctor or therapist or another professional but purely from a pregnant women perspective, I think that second trimester is a really normal time to have these feelings and it can be considered a good thing - you are really taking time to think and process what it means to have a baby and how your life is about to change.  As for PPD, it happens to a lot of women and the good thing is that you wno't be pregnant during that time so you will be able to take some anxiety meds etc. if you need them.  Hugs - you aren't alone!
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from lizinboston. Show lizinboston's posts

    Re: April Pregnancy

    Thanks, Rama. I am geared up right now to get over these feelings before the baby does come. I know it isn't 100% guranteed to avoid PPD, but I am doing my best. I copy/pasted my last post here, as it was in the March thread.

    I am 23 weeks pregnant and for about a week now have been having severe feelings of anxiety and sadness. I am extremely worried about having this baby and at times, don't even feel excited about having her, which then makes me feel more guilty than I have ever felt in my life. I don't want to bring anyone down, because I don't think anyone else is feeling this way, at least no one has talked about it on the boards. But if anyone has, or is, it would be nice to hear what helps.

    I am really scared of getting PPD for some reason.                     
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from luvRIboy. Show luvRIboy's posts

    Re: April Pregnancy

    Liz, I'd actually mention those feelings to your OB at your next visit.  It's worth keeping it on everyone's radar.  At your 6 week PP visit, they do a PPD screening (it's an easy 10 question survey that just gives clinicians a sense of how you're doing).  I say this as someone who has watched friends go through PPD/PPA, and who has a mom who is a clinician who specializes in treating it...this is not something to be brave about and hold in...if - and it's still a big if - you do have anxiety/depression post-baby, the earlier it is treated, the easier it is to treat.  I have two friends who tried to be brave and hold off, and it has been a much longer road for them...they're on the mend, but it's not been easy. 

    That said, I remember with DD, I was so nervous and anxious about having her, not so much about how I'd take care of her, or any of that, but what it would mean for my life and how parenthood would change it.  And it definitely does change your life...a lot of it is great, but there are definitely changes that come.  I miss being able to meet a friend out for a drink after work on a whim, or sleeping in on weekends, or not having to worry about someone else all of the time.  I think the first year of parenthood is a huge adjustment, whether there's PPD or not!  It requires you and your husband to form an entirely different kind of partnership from what you did as a couple.

    All of that in consideration, I'm now 18 weeks with #2, so it does all work out and I'm going back for more.  I also notice that with this pregnancy, I'm hardly even thinking about the baby on the inside, since I'm so occupied with the 17 month old! 

    Hang in there!!

     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from lizinboston. Show lizinboston's posts

    Re: April Pregnancy

    Thank you, Luv. I should mention that I have an appointment with a womens mental health counselor who works closely with my OB. I put a call in on Friday about this, so I am doing my best to nip it in the bud.

    It does help hearing other women's experiences, though.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from rama8677. Show rama8677's posts

    Re: April Pregnancy

    Liz, I think it's great you are sharing your feelings here and with your therapist because keeping these type of feelings inside is very difficult and painful.  You are taking great steps to address this issue and I think that's wonderful.  I'm not a professional but my advice would be to focus on how you are feeling now and just look forward a week or two and try not to worry about whether or not you will experience PPD.  Your due date is still several months away and a lot of things will occur between now and then that you have no control over - the weather will be brighter, hormonal changes etc.  If you indeed experience PPD, you will deal with it at the time it happens, it sounds like you have a team of people in your corner, DH, therapists, friends etc. to help you if you need it.  Have you and your DH thought about getting away for a night or two before the baby? I think it might be a great experience for you to get away and spend some time with him alone and maybe that will help you feel a little more normal.  It's hard to stop thinking about having a baby when you are pregnant and it's easy to fall into the trap of always talking baby related topics with your DH - and maybe if you guys get away and just have a weekend focused on you two and reconnecting as a couple it may help you feel a little better. Just a thought!!

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from luvRIboy. Show luvRIboy's posts

    Re: April Pregnancy

    I totally agree with Rama about trying to steer conversation away from baby stuff when you can.  My DH and I have tried to make a rule when we go out to dinner sans DD that we can't talk about her or baby #2 until dessert.  It's been a huge help for us, to remember that we used to talk about other things, and refocus us on each other. 

    Great news on the therapy app't...already having people on your team who can help you will make everything so much more bearable.  It's also just nice to have someone who is all yours to talk to...they have no other interest but listening to you and making sure you're listening to yourself.  I think everyone should be in therapy for a while...it's such a great gift to yourself!  The next best thing, which I'm pretty diligent about, is journaling...getting feelings, thoughts, concerns down on paper helps me get them out of my head.  FOr some reason reading them is never as scary as when they're swirling around in there getting bigger! 

    AFM, had the 18 week anatomy scan today.  Everything looked good, aside from the fact that the baby was very camera shy, so not a lot of cute pictures!  We're having a surprise for #2, as we did for DD, so nothing to report there.  Anterior placenta again, but it's high enough that the radiologist doesn't think I'll have problems with the c-section scar...fingers crossed between now and September that that's the case!
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from cicirose. Show cicirose's posts

    Re: April Pregnancy

    Liz - I agree that it's great that you are open to talking about how you're feeling. That's the first step to feeling better!

    Luv - Congrats on the good scan! Did you just tell the tech that you did not want to find out the gender or was it a moot point because the baby was not cooperating anyway? We also want a surprise and our scan is coming up in 2 weeks.

    Is around 16 weeks too early to start feeling the baby move if it's the first one? I know most people say to expect it around 20 weeks but I've felt the same weird thing several times for the past week and it usually happens around the same time and only when I'm sitting still (like on the train or couch after work). I don't even know how to describe it - almost like the start of a stomach growl that churns and tickles. I'm sure it's probably just some new digestive thing but I've never felt anything like it before!
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from lizinboston. Show lizinboston's posts

    Re: April Pregnancy

    Funny you mention getting away. We are going to Mohegan Sun Thurs-Sat this week. I hope it brightens my mood! I LOVE being around my DH and he has been so wonderful during this pregnancy, so I look forward to just being with him and not thinking about any of this pregnancy stuff!
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from luvRIboy. Show luvRIboy's posts

    Re: April Pregnancy

    Cici, that sounds like movement to me!  It's definitely weird feeling at this stage...but people have described it as bubbles or tickles from the inside. 

    The radiologist asked us if we wanted to know.  I know last time we ended up with a few extra ultrasounds at the end (higher BP + breech = extra ultrasounds), and they asked at the beginning if we wanted to know, just to make sure to avoid that area! 
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: April Pregnancy

    Liz, given how severe anxiety has been getting more and more common in the general population, I have to believe the pregnant women demographic is hardly immune to the increase and probably feel the effects even more since so much of our mood is hormone driven.  Describing what you are going through can only help you and others, not be a downer to discuss.  Share away.  And, have you considered going right to formula so you can get back on the meds that helped you so much before you got pregnant?  It might be a worthy tradeoff to consider.

    cici, that is how everyone I've ever known in my 20 adult years has described fetal movement.  Averages are just that, averages - there is always a range.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from clc51510. Show clc51510's posts

    Re: April Pregnancy

    Cici - I was right around 16 weeks that I thought I started feeling movement.  I think it took me until 19 weeks until I was sure that's what I was feeling though.  My early movements felt like a bubble bursting.  As for the 18 week ultrasound, we made sure that we told the tech as soon as we got there that we didn't want to know.  At one point she asked us to look away because the baby has it's legs wide open and she didn't want to ruin anything for us. We haven't had any ultrasounds since so we haven't had to deal with subsequent screenings but if we do I will make sure to mention that we want it to be a surprise.

    I have a sort of personal question and sorry for the TMI but DH and I had sex yesterday for the first time in a few weeks (ugh! we need to start making more time for that) and after my belly felt very hard for a few hours.  It was almost like my uterus had contracted to a tight ball around the baby.  I was surprised and then scared by how long it lasted.  Eventually things went back to normal and I was feeling the little one move around the whole time so I wasn't worried that something was wrong with the baby but it was strange.  I have an OB appointment on Friday so I will mention it but has anyone else experienced this? 
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from rama8677. Show rama8677's posts

    Re: April Pregnancy

    CLC, how far along are you?  It sounds like a Braxton Hicks contraction.  I had those a lot, frequently after having sex, in the last part of my pregnancy with DD.  Assuming you are fairly far along, I wouldn't worry about it, and it's actually a good thing because your body is preparing for real labor.  You may start to experience those type of contractions throughout the day and as long as they don't hurt or last for a super long time, it's nothing to worry about.  Obviously mention to your ob, but I bet that's what it was.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: April Pregnancy

    I obviously haven't experienced it, but (very close, obviously) girlfriends have shared the same experience/fear, and it turned out to be exactly what rama said, BH.  Try not to worry; sex isn't bad for baby.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from clc51510. Show clc51510's posts

    Re: April Pregnancy

    I'm 30 weeks and I've actually had BH in the past but they seemed to last 30 seconds or so.  Luckily they aren't painful at all.  I was just surprised that this seemed to last hours, like 4 hours, which doesn't seem to be inline with BH. 

    Also, I'm so sore today in my hips, I know workingmom mentioned this last month.  I didn't really have anything to compare to before because it had been a few weeks since we'd found some alone time but holy crap am I sore today; although, it was all worth it!
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from luvRIboy. Show luvRIboy's posts

    Re: April Pregnancy

    Liz, I saw Kar's note about deciding to use formula from the beginning..should you want to nurse, and should you need medication, there are many anti-anxiety and anti-depressant meds that are totally safe for the baby.  There are also many that are safe during pregnancy.  Our very own MGH has done some of the leading research on this! 

    I don't want you to add should I or shouldn't I try to breastfeed to your list of prenatal anxieties!
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: April Pregnancy

    That's great!  Definitely, if you've had great results with anti-anxiety medication before pregnancy and there's no reason not to take them if you're breast feeding, full speed ahead with that plan, no worries (so to speak!).
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from lissafro. Show lissafro's posts

    Re: April Pregnancy

    clc - that sounds like braxton hicks.  It also sounds like you could just be tight in general from the exercise.  Did you try drinking lots of water?  I personally have a big problem with our fun marriage activities leading to charlie horses and foot cramps.  I suppose it is similar for those with braxton hicks.  If it's not repetitive and pulsing and originating in your spine and wrapping around, gaining in intensity, it's not a real contraction and nothing to worry about (although I would imagine it would be a very disconcerting feeling, having it last that long!). 


     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from clc51510. Show clc51510's posts

    Re: April Pregnancy

    I'm glad it sounds normal to everyone.  Lissa - I am pretty good about getting a lot of water each day but I'll up my intake today to see if it helps.  Thanks all!
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from lizinboston. Show lizinboston's posts

    Re: April Pregnancy

    Luv I plan on doing both, I was so stable for years on my medication, it completely controlled my anxiety, so I am looking forward to going back on them!
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: April Pregnancy

    In Response to Re: April Pregnancy:
    [QUOTE]Luv I plan on doing both, I was so stable for years on my medication, it completely controlled my anxiety, so I am looking forward to going back on them!
    Posted by lizinboston[/QUOTE]

    Repeat this to yourself whenever the fear of PPD creeps in.  Hugs!

     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from clc51510. Show clc51510's posts

    Re: April Pregnancy

    I'm all over the place today, clearly not into working very hard on this Monday, but I have another random question...  are you planning on doing a birth announcement? Or if you're on #2 did you do one with your first?  I would like to do one but I'm not sure how the timing of it works and how you fit it in while being a new mom.  I was thinking perhaps I could prep them ahead of time (one for a boy and one for a girl) and then update the information and add a picture once the baby is born.  Perhaps I'm just looking for something else non-work related to think about at the moment :)
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: April Pregnancy

    I've been the happy recipient of many birth announcements (usually w/in a month of the birth), and I display them on the fridge and then save them - fwiw I really love getting them.  I used this company for our rehearsal dinner invitations and recommend them - big range of prices and styles.  Birth Announcements at Inviation Consultants

    Happy work avoidance. :)
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: April Pregnancy

    Liz - I don't post over here often but I wanted to share my experience.
    I took Zoloft throughout my pregnancy and throughout breastfeeding.  For b-feeding, I talked to our pediatrician and he was totally supportive.  I also talked to my OB when pregnant and she was supportive as well.
    It's a very individual decision.  I have other friends who went off for the pregnancy and back on as soon as the baby was born.  For me personally, I reviewed the risks and benefits, and I felt like it was the right decision.  I knew I was happier on it and could feel more at peace with myself and with the baby.  I also kept up counseling.
    It's more common than you think, and you're doing a great job getting help and being open about it.  Post away, and let us know how you are doing.
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from Tangerine5. Show Tangerine5's posts

    Re: April Pregnancy

    Old news, but re: the bumbo, as someone else mentioned, craigslist is littered with them. I picked one up in like-new condition for $15, and have seen them for even less. Didn't seem worth the $40+ for something baby may or may not like, and most definitely wouldn't use for more than a couple of months.

    Liz, I've had some similar feelings and thoughts from time to time, along similar lines as luv - concerns about how my/our lives will change as a result of having a LO. It makes me feel very selfish and guilty, because I've never questioned my desire to be a mom, and we're certainly mature/old enough to handle the responsibility, etc. And for pete's sake, I went through a year of fertility tx to get here! But it's scary to look into the unknown and know that life as we know and love it is going to turn upside down. I HATE it when family and friends say things like "sleep now; you won't sleep again for 18 years!" or "you're not going to travel or go out anywhere for a long time," etc etc. Drives me nuts (and DH even more so).

    Anyway, I think it's great that you're talking to your OB and have a good support system. Just wanted you to know you're not alone!
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from luvRIboy. Show luvRIboy's posts

    Re: April Pregnancy

    On birth announcements...we sent them for DD...she was born at the end of October, so I sent them out in late November as our Christmas card..."This year, our gift came early". 

    THis baby is due in September, and I'm planning to do announcements again...Like Kar, I love to get them!  Also, I know some of my great-aunts and friends of my parents, who I might not see often, but who have always been part of my life, really enjoyed getting them too. 

    Tang, I promise that you will travel, you will eat out, and you will sleep again.  If anything, the BEST time to go out to dinner when you have kids is when you have one kid who is still in the bucket seat.  They sit where you tell them, sleep through dinner and don't cost a dime.  They also don't throw food when they're bored or finished eating! 

     

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