Birth Announcements?

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from CoffeeQueen. Show CoffeeQueen's posts

    Birth Announcements?

    This question is for the women who have already been there done that and for those that generally know more about these things than than I (which is probably most of you!); Is there birth announcement ettiquete?

    Specifically, how long after DS is born should we send the announcements? I have a great photographer friend that as our shower gift gave us a year of photography (a sitting ever 2 months starting when DS is born). Super nice and generous...so should I be preemptive and pick out an announcement design now and send them out right away since we'll have the photos immediately?

    Secondly, should we send an announcement to people that came to our shower that were not directly invited? We had co-worker-friends of both my soon to be MIL and of my mother come (they were verbally invited).  I feel like I should send one because I have their addresses from sending the thank you cards but I don't want people to feel like they have to send us another gift. I also don't want to be expected to keep up with those people and include them on holiday card mailings.....I barely knew most of them.

    Lastly, had some, ah hem, rude family members RSVP and not show (didn't even call me or my fiance to say "sorry I got mysteriously sick/my car broke down/my house caught on fire etc).  I don't want to "punish" them by withholding an announcement but my thought is if they cared less enough about us to blow off the shower then why should I bother sending them an announcement? LOL, this is the b*tchy pregnant lady coming out! :)

    Any advice is appreciated!
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from kiwigal. Show kiwigal's posts

    Re: Birth Announcements?

    I don't know if there is a specific timeframe for sending out announcements. I've gotten some a few weeks out, while others 3-4 months after the babies were born. We sent ours out around 6 weeks (took photos around 3 weeks, then ordered the cards, etc.). I had a specific design I wanted and I found it during the summer before DS was born, so that made it easier to get the ordering done. We had a big family function about 8 weeks after DS was born and we wanted to make sure people got the announcement/photo before we went out for the function.

    As to your questions:

     We received a few gifts after the announcements went out, but not from anyone who had already attended a shower. I have never sent an additional baby gift when receiving a birth announcement. 

    Personally, I would send an announcement to the co-workers because they put the thought and effort into attending your shower and buying you a gift. Sending a birth announcement does *not* mean you have to forever keep them on your correspondence list. I would also send announcements out to the "rude" family members. Take the high road and be the bigger person. Then, no one can complain about your manners. Besides, if there's ever a time to let bygones be bygones, it should be at the birth of a child!

     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from winter09wedding. Show winter09wedding's posts

    Re: Birth Announcements?

    I have not already done this/been there/etc. But I agree with what Kiwigal said... always better to take the high road.  And I have learned that regardless of intent, some people will send more and more gifts. I don't typically send another gift once I get the announcement unless 
    (1) it is a close family member or (2) I didn't know the gender before and I am in the mood to buy something cute.

    I did want to offer than some of the professional photographers I have worked with or know personally have a set of cards that they either use or frequently refer to (either they make them with a publisher or there is a company they contract with). I would talk to the photographer and see- maybe there is a company they use which would allow you to be "All set" now- and maybe even at a discount.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from ml2620-2. Show ml2620-2's posts

    Re: Birth Announcements?

    A birth announcement is not an invitation or a solicitation for gifts, or a reward for actually showing up at the baby shower, it's an annoucement. You can send it to anyone, and like kiwigal said, a gift is not expected in return. I don't think I've ever sent a baby gift in response to a birth announcement, a card maybe.

    We will use our Christmas card list as our list of who to send baby announcements to, and to be honest, our Christmas card list was also our wedding invitation list, with a few others added on. Our goal is to get the announcements out within the first month, but there is no timeline on it. 

    Did you throw your own baby shower?  
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from GC1016. Show GC1016's posts

    Re: Birth Announcements?

    I've never sent a gift post-receipt of a birth announcement, so I would err on the side of inclusion; you're not going to offend anyone that way.  Remember: it's an announcement of a happy event, not an invoice. 

    I'm actually picking out our birth announcement "design" soon, as I am a freak about design and need to coordinate them to my thank you notes.  [this is a personal problem, not advice].  While I don't think there's any specific birth announcement timeline, I figure I have more brain cells now than I will then, so why not? 

    As to the shower no-shows -- send the announcement.  If only to show them how the Polite Set roll. 
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Birth Announcements?

    Don't go through the list of your friends and family to determine announcement worthiness.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Birth Announcements?

    I found that once I had the baby, I was so excited and happy that I forgot any grudges or resentments (temporarily) and immediately sent out birth announcements to EVERYONE.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from CoffeeQueen. Show CoffeeQueen's posts

    Re: Birth Announcements?

    ML: I did not throw my own shower. I actually didn't even want a shower but was told that I "had" to have one by my soon to be MIL, who threw the event.

    My wording was incorrect now that I'm looking back at it because the spirit of my frustration with family no shows has been taken out of context.  Like I said in my original post, the intent is not to punish people. I am coming from a place where I don't want to make people feel like I am soliciting them for gifts. The whole mass gift receiving that goes with bridal and baby showers makes me uneasy, not because I'm ungrateful, I'm just not an "all eyes on me" kinda girl. That being said, I don't want the family members who blew us off to look at the announcement as a reminder to send something.  I also don't think that the announcement is in any way a "reward" to someone for coming to the shower.

    I'll just send them to everyone we originally invited and to the extras like Kiwi and a few others suggested. I agree with Lemon that in a few weeks I'm going to be so excited to show him off to everyone that it wont matter who the announcement goes out to.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Birth Announcements?

    Well, rest assured, a birth announcement is not a solicitation for gifts.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Birth Announcements?

    That makes more sense now, Coffee.  (Since they didn't come to the shower you don't want them to think you are harping on them to give gifts.)  There is always a possibility that people will think the worst, but I say go ahead and send them announcements.  It's their own problem if they choose to see it that way when it is simply a joyous announcement.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from GC1016. Show GC1016's posts

    Re: Birth Announcements?

    If someone views a birth announcement as a nudge to send a gift, I'd say that's very much "eye of the [etiquette-challenged] beholder," and totally not on you, as Kar and Fram mentioned.  But I get the trepidation. 

    [on a side-hijack note, I had a Shower Hostess/Female Relative ask me to call three non-responders (my friends, naturally) to find out if they were coming to my upcoming shower, as they hadn't RSVP'd.  RSVP date, as printed on the invite, is this coming FRIDAY.  This conversation happened two weeks ago, so these people are not late, and were apparently the only "slackers," so three is going to sink the whole thing.  OK, a) you are nuts; b) I am so not doing that; c) you are SUPER nuts.  Really???  How would that conversation go for me?  Hi, I have a time machine and am calling from the future, when you are actually late in responding to my shower ... are you coming or not?]

    Back to your original question, Coffee -- with announcements I'd say the more the merrier (provided you can swing the postage), and I'd say the sooner the better ... if I am really & truly on my A Game, I may even pre-address the envelopes so they're ready to go as soon as I get the actual prints with Bean photos back.  We'll see.   

     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from CoffeeQueen. Show CoffeeQueen's posts

    Re: Birth Announcements?

    GC, funny you said that last piece about having the envelopes addressed ahead of time.  I posted orginally because I was getting ready to print out all the mailing labels so that they would be ready to go! lol.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: Birth Announcements?

    I always feel that a birth announcement means I have to send a gift.  I don't think that the parents are soliciting a gift, necessarily, but it does obligate me. 

    Re: mailing announcements.  I'm not trying to be cranky, but really, nobody cares that much except you and the grandparents.  You can show us all those newborn pictures when we see you.

    (I feel the same way about wedding thank you notes with a photo of the bride and groom.) 

    Save your energy and your money.  Shoot me an email if you must!

    Best wishes! 
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Birth Announcements?

    I think that a switch flips in you when you have a baby or get pregnant and suddenly these things are interesting. I used to feel like cosmogirl and now I get really excited about birth announcements. See also: photo Christmas cards. Before I reproduced I'd get the cards and be all, "oh great, your kid. Looks like every other kid. How am I supposed to hang this thing?" Now I think, "wow, look at how they've changed! The time really does go by so fast."

     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from GC1016. Show GC1016's posts

    Re: Birth Announcements?

    If sending birth announcements makes you happy and you have the energy and money, as Cosmo mentions, to spare, I say send them.  If I don't want/appreciate it, I'll quietly recycle; no harm, no foul. 

    I, for one, actually always liked getting birth announcements; I like non-bill written communication (although, like Lemon, my views on the photo Christmas card have definitely shifted over time!) and the replacement of written invites, notes, and announcements by e-mail kind of bums me out.  So do with that what you will. 

    I like birth announcements.  They up the cute-factor on my fridge.  And I tend to save the Christmas card photos of the kids that I really like/am close with and leave them up all year.  So it's not all going to waste; I can't be the only one. 
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from stefani2. Show stefani2's posts

    Re: Birth Announcements?

    ha - i love the twist this post has taken!  i'm kind of in cosmo's boat, but i'm going to s*ck it up and send the cards b/c i feel like it's "expected."  i'm not being given a shower though, b/c i feel like cosmo said - no one cares!  and i feel compelled to mention that you CAN do a photo christmas card WITH YOURSELVES in it.  i can't stand when parents have a kid and then you never see the parents again on the cards - just the kids, because apparently you don't count anymore once you give birth.  barfff!!  ;) 
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: Birth Announcements?

    I love birth announcements, and have never felt that it placed me under any obligation to send a gift.  I've never sent a gift after receiving an announcement (although typically if I receive an announcement it is a close friend or family member and I've already given a gift).  I love seeing that brand-new person (and the happy parents if the parents are in the pic). 

    I find as I get older I don't see people as much in person, so if I don't get the birth announcements (and any subsequent mailings) I may never see pictures of the kid.

    ETA: Have to add - just as I have no idea if any wedding guests never gave us a present, I will probably have no idea if baby shower invitees, or anyone for that matter, never gives us a baby gift.  If a gift is sent, I keep a list so that I can send a thank-you, but I don't have an opposite "never gave us gifts" list that I check periodically and say, "Wow, that person never sent a gift!"
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from GC1016. Show GC1016's posts

    Re: Birth Announcements?

    Yeah, this post could take a bad turn very quickly.  I hope we can avoid that. 

    I'm not sure it's that you no longer count, but I hear you on the kid-only card.  I think it's just easier to get a "good" picture of the bubs.  They tend to be pretty cute and disinclined to think any given photo makes them look fat. 

    One thing, though -- be careful of the nobody/everybody thing (nobody wants this; everybody expects it) because neither are true.  It's entirely dependent on so many things ... I think this is one case where you can just do what makes you happy. 
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from stefani2. Show stefani2's posts

    Re: Birth Announcements?

    hee hee - sorry, my old wedding boards 'tude was coming out there!  ;)
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from GC1016. Show GC1016's posts

    Re: Birth Announcements?

    I don't miss the old etiquette discussions over there, if we're being honest.  :)

     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Birth Announcements?

    I will say that sometimes they seem pointless.  For every birth announcement I have received lately, I had already seen 30 photos of the baby on Facebook anyway.  But that doesn't make it annoying or make me feel obligated to send a gift.  If you want to send them, go ahead!  Like GC said, it makes my fridge a heck of a lot cuter :o)
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Birth Announcements?

    I also have a memory box where I keep correspondence from loved ones (family and friends), so birth announcements and the like go into it. You'd be amazed how important that stuff becomes in just one generation.


     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: Birth Announcements?

    I was actually going to mention what Fram said - I almost feel that Facebook has taken the place of baby announcements in some cases.  For "Facebook friends" who've had babies in the past year or so, I've not gotten announcements.  So it could be that those people are only sending announcements to folks not involved in the Facebook world... it's interesting.
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Birth Announcements?

    You can't put Facebook in a memory box
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from GC1016. Show GC1016's posts

    Re: Birth Announcements?

    We're all in Facebook's memory box. 

     

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