December Pregnancy

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from luvRIboy. Show luvRIboy's posts

    Re: December Pregnancy

    Liz, be assured that you are not the only one to have these feelings.

    Having a baby is a HUGE shift, not only because of the changes in your body and hormones while you're pregnant, but also because of the changes that will come in your life once this little person makes his/her way to the outside.  It's completely normal to feel emotional, to feel ambivalent, to feel guilty about feeling ambivalent. 

    I do think bringing it up to your OB is a good idea, and the idea of having a session with a therapist might be a good one. 

    Some of the big changes I've noticed: my relationship with my husband...the shift from couple to family has been wonderful in many ways, but it's also an adjustment.  My relationship with work: I want to leave at 4:50 every day to go get my daughter, whereas before I would often stay late or work from home.  My relationship with friends: I've found that my friends with kids have become closer friends, and have even renewed some friendships with old friends now that we can talk about things like pumping and when to start solids!  Prioritizing myself has been my biggest challenge: exercise, time alone, time with friends, time alone with my husband.

    It is hard, but I have found it's completely worth it.  A whole new level of love, a rethinking of what's important in life, and those eyes looking up at you with total love and trust. 

    I started keeping a journal when I found out I was pregnant, and have continued to write in it over this first year with DD.  It's nice to be able to go back and read it and see what was in my head, and also to be able to let those feelings and anxieties out on paper so they're out of my head! 
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from luckinlife. Show luckinlife's posts

    Re: December Pregnancy

    Liz - I remember very clearly being in labor and thinking oh boy, there is the end of life as I know it.  Not the happiest picture even though I was so grateful to be pregnant and tried for years to become pregnant.  I was really worried about the sleep deprivation as well. (I must admit if I could I would like to give birth to a 2 month old rather than a newborn - haha). The truth is my husband and I had a great time being together without kids and if I wasn't older I would have put it off longer.

    I think these thoughts are normal.  My life is so much happier now that I have DD.  I smile and laugh so much more even though I was very happy prior. 

    I think that a lot of this may be hormones but also it is important to acknowlege these thoughts and I think seeing a therapist may be really helpful!
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALS76. Show ALS76's posts

    Re: December Pregnancy

    Liz - I think it is good that you are thinking about these things now and that you have an awareness about it and are really in touch with your feelings.  I knew that having a baby would change things, but I was just so happy to be starting a family with DH that I don't think I fully comprehended it and worried about it.  I just had a happy-go-lucky, everything-will-be-fine attitude about it all.  When DD was born 17 months ago it was a real awakening!  Granted, I did not have a typical experience as DD was a premie and was born early without warning.  The whole experience and being in the NICU with her along with trying to adjust to being a mom hit me like a ton of bricks and left me with a  mild case of the baby-blues.  So, my point is that what you are feeling sounds pretty normal to me.  I definitely remember sitting up some nights and mourning the loss of my "former" life.  But, I wouldn't trade DD for anything in the world.  She is the best thing that has ever happened to me and DH.  Our lives are different, but they are so much richer.  She makes us laugh non stop and sometimes I am just bursting with so much love when I look at her that I actually feel it in my chest.

    My advice is to really enjoy this time with DH.  Go on a baby-moon.  Go out to dinner.  Go to the movies.  Things like that. 
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: December Pregnancy

    Luv, Luck, and ALS covered it perfectly.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from lizinboston. Show lizinboston's posts

    Re: December Pregnancy

    Thank you girls. It really, really helps to know that I am not the only one feeling or who has felt like this.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from clc51510. Show clc51510's posts

    Re: December Pregnancy

    Good luck with your OB appointment today, Liz.  Hopefully you get the information you need.

    Great news about the baby girl, LIL.  Your daughters are going to have so much fun growing up together.

    AFM, 15 weeks yesterday and we were able to meet our OB for the first time.  He was very nice and answered all of my questions so it was a very positive appointment. Also we were able to hear the LO's heartbeat again which is such an amazing experience.  He also mentioned that once I started feeling movement if I ever had days where there was less movement and I was nervous just to show up at the office and they would use the doppler to see if there was any cause for concern.  I hope that's not something I have to take advantage of but it's good to have the option.

    Also, I sort of popped again.  It looks like I'm smuggling a small basketball under my shirt.  Luckily I haven't gained any where else so hopefully that's a trend that continues!
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: December Pregnancy

    Liz, having suffered from major depression, I can tell you brain chemicals are stealthy, sneaky things.  The masquerade as very real, rational, and overwhelming sadness that doesn't really make sense in a concrete way you can explain to yourself.  Add to that the rational reasons for feeling overwhelmed and maybe truly a little sad to mourn the passing of your life the way it is and you have a perfect storm of maybe needing a little help.  Of course, anti-depressants aren't probably the way to go for pregnancy, but talk therapy and exercise has been found to be very effective for mild clinical depression.  Talk to your OB for sure about this and how to incorporate both of these things into your routine.  She might have a great person to refer you to for therapy and I'm sure has guidelines and recommendations for regular excercise (as a prescription for mild depression if nothing else) during pregnancy.  

    Best,
    ~kar
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from jc4321. Show jc4321's posts

    Re: December Pregnancy

    Hoping for some shopping advice for me. I would like to get my first pair of maternity jeans (not showing yet, but I'm short and will need to get them hemmed). Any recommendations on brands you like? I am close to Natick, so I can go to the GAP, Old Navy, and the maternity store on Rt. 9. I'd like a pair soon so that I can have something comfy for New Years!
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from Arcain. Show Arcain's posts

    Re: December Pregnancy

    Liz - I'll echo what everyone else said. What you're going through sounds totally normal. I had a lot of sad periods during my first trimester particularly. For me, it partly had to do with everything being so abstract. I had this huge life change looming in front of me but I looked the same and nothing around me had really changed. I've felt progressively better as the pregnancy has progressed and we've started our preparations. Still, without baby actually here yet, there is still the occasional depressed bout of "My life as I know it is almost over!" Worries about the baby during the first tri didn't help either, and though those don't go away, I deal with them better now.

    That said, it's definitely a good idea to ask about the therapist in your practice. Even now, I think I could really benefit from talking my feelings out to an objective third party. Let us know how it goes!

    AFM - I'm 28 weeks and exhausted. I'm not sure if it's the fatigue that they say comes with the third trimester or the insanity of the last few weeks between work, home repairs, and family obligations. Had a growth u/s yesterday (my OB wants me to have them monthly b/c I have chronic hypertension and that can apparently make for smaller babies). LO is about 2 lbs 5 oz (32nd percentile) and is in a very funny position: head down with one leg bent so that his foot is at the top of his head. It explains some of the odd movements I've felt lately.

    Shower question for all of you: We're doing a nontraditional shower (just a party, really). My mom is all for it, but thinks we still need to open gifts in front of everyone. I was really trying to avoid this, as I think everyone just has a better time if they don't have to sit for an hour + and ooh and ahh over baby stuff (yes, I'm overly cranky about these things, even DH thinks so :-)). At the same time, I don't want people to feel like we don't appreciate their gifts. Thoughts?
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from lizinboston. Show lizinboston's posts

    Re: December Pregnancy

    Thank you, again, for all of your kind comments. I am feeling better, I went for a walk with a coworker today and that helped a lot.

    Kar, I do remember reading about your depression in the past, and thank you for being so open and honest about it. I'm sure you can relate in it really helps when you hear about other people going through the similar thing.

    As for medication, my OB actually said that many pregnant women have had sucessful pregnancies while being on an anti-anxiety. I was on Zoloft before getting pregnant, so I think going off of it made matters even more difficult for me. I may discuss going back on a low-dose starting my second trimester. Zoloft, though the commercials say its unsafe, is one of the SSRI's that is safe for pregnant women.

     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: December Pregnancy

    Liz, depending on how you tapered, your feelings might be due not only to the original chemical condition and your current hormonal state but to withdrawal from Zoloft to some extent.  If you know you have anxiety/depression, have been on medication for it, and recently stopped taking it, yes, definitely talk to your OB about the safe things you can take.  I'd also preemptively discuss the possibility of post partum depression and ask what you can do to head that off at the pass, as well.  Maybe it would be worth brining DH into at least a session or two with a therapist so he can be vigilently aware of signs you might not be going through the average anxiety or over-tiredness of pregnancy and early motherhood.

    Thank you, yes, it does help me a lot to be in a unique position to comment constructively about it.  My personal email is kargiverbdc @ gmail if you want to talk there.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from bostongrl. Show bostongrl's posts

    Re: December Pregnancy

    JC, I have personally loved the Gap maternity jeans.  I went with the band rather than the full belly panel, but that is sort of a personal choice.  I didn't like how the full belly panel ended just where my bra band was ... it was just too many bands around my chest and made it feel like I couldn't breath.  This was compounded at one point by the baby being head up and making me feel like my rib cage was being pried apart.  anyways, the gap jeans look like my regular pre-pg jeans and made me feel good about how I looked... no saggy butt.  That said, they aren't cheap.  $70 sticker price, though I did get a 50% coupon for one pair.  I bought one pair at 3.5mths and then had an extremely upsetting event at 7mths where they ripped ... like I litterally cried because they were the only pants I really liked wearing ... and then decided spending another $70 while painful to my wallet was worth it since I wear them every day.  Luckily, the day I walked into the store, one of the floor people handed me a 50% coupon for one item ... score!  :o)
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from clc51510. Show clc51510's posts

    Re: December Pregnancy

    JC, I have three pairs from Motherhood Maternity.  I have two that are full panel and I really like them.  I'm wearing them now in fact, thank god for casual Friday's.  I also got a pair that was below the belly and those aren't my favorite.  They kept slipping down and in general the full panel fits more comfortably. Also, I spent about $20/each which is significantly less than Gap.  I haven't tried Old Navy's jeans but I have a pair of dress pants from there that fit nicely.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: December Pregnancy

    I had both above and below the belly panel pants in my first pregnancy, and was grateful for the full-panel after my c-section. Not that you should worry about that, but if you happen to know you'll need one or suspect you will need one, that type of pant will come in handy.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: December Pregnancy

    JC - just wanted to add that I loved my maternity jeans from Motherhood on Route 9.  It's like 3 store in one there - inexpensive, midprice and $$$ so you can spend as much or as little as you want. Carrying twins meant full panel for me - but they have lots of different styles and the staff is really helpful.
    Good luck!
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: December Pregnancy

    Misslily, I bought a pair of jeans there as a gift, and she said they were super comfy, too.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from jc4321. Show jc4321's posts

    Re: December Pregnancy

    Thanks, everyone! I'm hoping I can score some holiday deals for jeans. I'll try on a few panel types and see what works, but it's great to hear what works for different people. I'm worried that the demi-panel might be too loose now, but also share boston's fear of too many bands around my chest...I'll let you know how it goes!
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: December Pregnancy

    In Response to Re: December Pregnancy:
    [QUOTE]JC - just wanted to add that I loved my maternity jeans from Motherhood on Route 9.  It's like 3 store in one there - inexpensive, midprice and $$$ so you can spend as much or as little as you want. Carrying twins meant full panel for me - but they have lots of different styles and the staff is really helpful. Good luck!
    Posted by misslily[/QUOTE]

    Ditto - LOVE that store!  So much selection and great price variety, as Misslily mentioned.  I didn't find it until almost through with my first pregnancy.
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: December Pregnancy

    I remember now...the secret fit belly.  They were GREAT!

    http://www.motherhood.com/maternity/secret-fit-belly.asp
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: December Pregnancy

    Yes!  That's exactly what I got my friend who loved them!

    ETA:  I was so happy, too, when I saw her wearing them at work 'cause they truly looked awesome on her, like her favorite skinny jeans plus bump.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from jc4321. Show jc4321's posts

    Re: December Pregnancy

    Those look great - and I'm really impressed with the pricing. I'll see if I can make it down Rt. 9 soon!
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from clc51510. Show clc51510's posts

    Re: December Pregnancy

    That's what I'm wearing right now, sooo comfy!
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from Novembride. Show Novembride's posts

    Re: December Pregnancy

    Great tip girls!  I ordered some work stuff online, but definitely want to try jeans on in person.  Road trip!
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from hughkona. Show hughkona's posts

    Re: December Pregnancy

    I used to live in Natick when I was pg with #1, and now that I live in Nashua I have actually come up with a few errands to do down in MA *just* so I can go to Destination Maternity again!! The customer service is always awesome there and they offer you juice and water upon entering... its just lovely! So is their spa, if you want to splurge!!  They often have specials there (you'll get a coupon with your purchase). 

    I think my collection is getting a little intense... I now have 2 cords and 4 pairs of jeans.  They usually do a BOGO 50% off.  I am all about full panel... I didn't mess around with the elastic waist this time 'round.  When you are not big enough for it you can use your bella band over the panel to help keep them up. I love the comfy feeling of it, and when you are on your feet all day it helps to have the extra support around you, at least IMO! 
    Plus, I cannot find a comfy bra (I'm big-chested) so I sometimes wear an ill-fitting underwire bra AND a comfy low-impact sports bra over it, and then tuck it in all round the wire (which I feel like I need for support but still rubs all over by the end of the day!).  Its a mess, really, but all the layers come together nicely to keep me all tucked in!!Embarassed
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from lissafro. Show lissafro's posts

    Re: December Pregnancy

    Am I the only one who has realized how little fun holiday parties for work are when I can't drink and everyone else can?  I'm not even a drinker, I usually only have a glass of wine MAYBE two at a 2-hour function but sweet baby Jesus in the manger, work parties are no fun when everyone's getting all festive and I'm feeling responsible and slightly nauseous?

    Sorry. bitter today.  blegh.
     
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