Notice: All forums will be retired as of May 31st, 2016 and will not be archived. Thank you for your participation in this community, and we hope you continue to enjoy other content at


  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from lissafro. Show lissafro's posts

    Re: February-Pregnancy

    Shoot for 40.  More and more evidence is showing that those last two weeks make a big difference for lung development and ability to nurse. 
    Obviously, if there are extenuating circumstances (like high BP or something that might make staying in more risky than getting out), doctors will induce sometimes.  But the longer the baby cooks, the more ready it is to come out.  Plus, if you don't know when you ovulated exactly, you very well could have ovulated late and the baby might actually be to term at 41 or 42 weeks!
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from winter09wedding. Show winter09wedding's posts

    Re: February-Pregnancy

    tangerine- I don't have any actual data, but my impression is that first babies are often late as well...

    poppy- I don't have any good books for you, but I have 2 things that I think will make you feel better.
    1- My brother and I are 3 years apart- I'm older- and very close (and have been). I always believed that I could be closer to him because he was the opposite gender- there was no direct competition for dates, friends, clothing, etc.- but we were close enough in age to understand the same experiences and activities.  that said, my SIL totally agrees with me, and has a sister. so perhaps it is what you make of it.

    2- they don't need completely different sets of toys, and in fact, playing with both gender neutral and gender specific toys can increase empathy, mental flexbility, and social skills (e.g., boys tending to a doll, girls driving cars, etc.)  Things like puzzles, blocks, balls, art supplies, and the cause and effect toys are all basically the same (Although sometimes color coded).  although they will likely have some toys that don't overlap over time, I don't think that you have to replace everything.
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts

    Re: February-Pregnancy

    Poppy, wanted to answer about boys and girls.  And my only current
     experience is often bringing DS to my friend's house with her two girls (3 and 16 mths).  Their toyroom is all girl - pink carpet, tea sets, baby carriages, dolls, etc.  But they also have some school buses and kid laptops and legos.  My son will happily play in the room, but its amazing how he is really drawn to the buses, bicycle, legos, etc.  This weekend her youngest daughter brought DS her doll (she's really into sharing).  He made the funniest face as if to say "what the heck is this?" and threw it on the ground.  This is just one experience, and I'm sure several have had opposites happen.  But my boy is "all boy" and before we could even teach him he was saying "truck."  So be prepared to buy a few new things, but certainly not an entire room full.

    I am an only also, but I do have a step-brother, and technically I'm older (by 3 weeks)... and with the advent of google chat, we are closer as adults, but we were not super close when we were younger.  But I think that was because of many more issues than just being boy and girl.  Because he didn't live with us, we would share a room when he visited, or when we vacationed.  But I do recall at one point, maybe early teen years, my mom saying that wasn't a good idea any longer.  But I don't recall different movies or different activities and such.
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: February-Pregnancy

    Poppy, really, it will work out no matter what their genders.  You'll know what to do about movies and toys when the time comes.  When I was 4, my best friend was the 5 year old son of my babysitter/daycare woman.  We played with matchbox cars in grooves we made in the beanbag chair and in the backyard (jumping in the leaves, making snowmen, drowning ants...) for hours.
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from RedFishBlueFish. Show RedFishBlueFish's posts

    Re: February-Pregnancy

    My brother and I are very close in age (less than 18 months). We had our differences growing up (the teen years were the hardest), but I'm really thankful that I had an opposite-sex sibling so close in age. We each had our own toys and interests, but we also shared a lot (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, lol). Fortunately, plenty of movies (like Disney ones) have elements that both boys and girls really like and, in any case, each kid will have his or her own taste and interests.

  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from cicirose. Show cicirose's posts

    Re: February-Pregnancy

    Poppy, my husband has an older sister and younger brother. He is so much closer to his sister than his brother now, although he says he was really close with both of them growing up. His family was not well off at all so I know he did not get all new clothes and toys, etc. and he and his sister shared a room for many years. It would be different, but how exciting to have the experience of both a boy and a girl!
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from Arcain. Show Arcain's posts

    Re: February-Pregnancy

    Poppy - Love Highland Kitchen! We moved (reluctantly) to the 'burbs from Somerville last year and I miss places like that. Journeyman made me rememeber just how much I miss them!

    RE: genders, my totally unscientific observation, among both my friends and young kids I know now, is that there often seems to be less conflict in the early years when the sibs are different genders. My SIL's son is 4 1/2 and her daughter is 3, and they generally get along great. They both have the stereotypical gender interests (him: cars, trucks, sports; her: sparkly, pink, princesses) but they somehow play together beautifully. I agree with what Winter said about it potentially making them more mentally flexible about things meant for boys/girls. I'm having a boy and I hope if/when we have a second that it's a girl for that reason...

    BTW, Poppy, I'm an only, too. Looks like there are a few of us on here! I'm curious what it's like to be having a second when you are an only yourself. Obviously we're just on #1, but I want 2 or 3 (if we can afford it!). DH and I, crazily, started having a discussion about timing for #2 the other night, and I realized what a weird experience that will be for me, since I have no experience of siblings. Fortunately DH is the youngest of 3, so he's never been without them. I think I'll be relying on his experiences a lot if/when we have another!
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from luvRIboy. Show luvRIboy's posts

    Re: February-Pregnancy

    Poppy, we're not going to find out with #2 either, but I am also secretly petrified of having a boy!  It's funny, because I've been very gender-neutral in most of the toys and gear I've bought DD (swing and bouncy are bright colors, not pink; primary colors vs. pinks/purples for blocks and mega blocks, trains and cars as well as dolls, etc), in part because I knew we wanted to have #2 soon and wanted things to work for both kids.  Now that he/she is actually on the way, I am having a really hard time imagining myself with a son!  So no advice, but total empathy for your feelings!

    Arcain, I'm sending good vibes your way.  I know I would fight induction unless it's medically indicated (your BP starts going up, so signs of Pre-e, that kind of thing), but you have to do what's comfortable for you. 

    And someone asked about 38 weeks vs. 40.  Medically, a pregnancy is full-term anytime between 37 and 42 weeks, but that's really their way of covering the margin of error that exists because most people don't know the date of conception, and very few women actually have 28 day cycles, which is what a due date is based on.  After 37 weeks, every week "on the inside" means more developed lungs and a bigger baby (by as much as 1/2 lb a week!).  After 41 weeks, OB's tend to get nervous and want the baby out, so you'll often here the 41 week mark as one that begins the induction and/or c-section conversation. 
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from lizinboston. Show lizinboston's posts

    Re: February-Pregnancy

    I have a question about baby showers. My mother sent me the list of whom she wants to invite, and she has all of her friends on there! With my friends and family, that would bring the numbers up to around 50, and that is just too much for me. Should I ask her to cut down to just a few of her closest friends? It's nothing against her, I just want something small and low-key.

    Is 50-60 a typical number for things like this? Every baby shower I have ever been to was small and I always thought that was much nicer than having too many people there.
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from Arcain. Show Arcain's posts

    Re: February-Pregnancy

    Liz, I think you definitely have the right to ask your mom to cut down the # of friends she's inviting if you want a smaller shower. I'm assuming she sent you the list because she wanted you to have input, so I would be honest. It is supposed to be about you (and the baby) after all!

    50-60 is definitely big for a shower. Ours was actually about 75, but that's because we did a Jack and Jill, including kids, and my parents both come from giant, close Irish Catholic families. Of the ones I've been to, I'd say 30ish is more common. But it's really about what you're comfortable with, and you said that you want something small and low-key, so I'd say keep it to 30 or fewer if you can.
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: February-Pregnancy

    Liz, a shower can be big (catered or at a restaurant) or small and intimate; there's no rule, per se.  But, if you want something more like the latter, I hope you'll let your mom know.
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from winter09wedding. Show winter09wedding's posts

    Re: February-Pregnancy

    funny about the gender thing- we have a boy, and I am the opposite of luv- petrified of having a girl. my mother and I had a rocky time in adolescence, and in some ways I think boys are lower maintenance.... I am sure it is all perception :)

    Liz- I wound up having 3 showers- I only knew about one- and DH got one at work as well. I think that it really depends on the family set up, friend list, etc. our group of friends is very separate from work and we have little local family so it was easily to put those friends and family together. I have also been to huge showers in hotel ballrooms, with formal lunches and 60 people.  BUT I would say that if you are game, and mom is really excited and wants her friends there, ask about having separate ones for your friends and her friends/family.  i feel like this is really a personal decision- and that means you have to speak up for yourself.  I will say- for someone who hated her wedding shower because I felt like i was asking for presents- these feel different because it is all about someone else :)

  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from luvRIboy. Show luvRIboy's posts

    Re: February-Pregnancy

    Liz, I was right there with you with not liking the idea of a big shower.  We ended up having it on a Friday night at a friend's home, and it was perfect.  Only about 20 people, no games, no goofiness, but perfect for me.  I've been to huge ones and smaller ones, and while you can't plan it, I think it's totally fair to ask for something a little smaller. 

    For some reason, I was much more uncomfortable with a big baby shower than I was with a big wedding shower...not sure why...could be because they were only about a year apart and it would have been a lot of the same people, but I think there was also an element of nervousness about celebrating someone who wasn't there yet? 
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from lizinboston. Show lizinboston's posts

    Re: February-Pregnancy

    Luv, thats fun you say that. I had about 50 people at my bridal shower and I was ok with that. But this time around, I feel totally different. Thanks for the advice, I will let my mother know and she will understand, we have a good relationship.

    I think another reason is that we don't need much. I have a niece and a nephew and I will be getting a lot of their baby stuff handed down to me.

    Winter that is so nice that your husband got one at work! I didn't think that usually happened for men! He must have great co-workers! :)

    On another note, did any of you have an intuition of the sex of your baby before you actually new? I have this strong feeling (and only in the past week) that I am having a girl.
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from clc51510. Show clc51510's posts

    Re: February-Pregnancy

    Poppy, I have a brother that is two years younger than me and we get along great.  He actually lives with my and my DH right now and has for about a year and a half. We also have a sister (6 years younger than me) and another brother (8 years younger than me) and we are all close.

    Growing up my brother and I shared a lot of the same toys and watched most of the same TV shows and movies.  Each of us had a few interests that we didn't share (me Punky Brewster, him Power Rangers) but in general it wasn't an issue.  I'm sure you will figure out how to make it work.

    Liz - I'm looking at a big shower as well.  My mom is one of 9 and my dad is one of 6.  There is no way around a big shower! I dreaded my wedding showers because I felt uncomfortable in the spot light and receiving gifts but I'm actually looking forward to my baby shower. I guess the fact that most of the gifts are for the baby make me feel less gift-grubby.
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: February-Pregnancy

    Liz - Sounds like it won't be a dramatic discussion, but you could always offer your mother the option of hosting some of her friends separately if she really wants to.  Showers can be anything from having 10 ppl over, to hosting 60 ppl for lunch.

    I had a strong feeling that I was having a boy, but she turned out to be a girl.  Previously, I had hoped for a girl, but once I was actually pregnant, I didn't have a preference.

    Tang - I would definitely not think of 38 weeks as the end date because then you will really be counting out every minute until 40 weeks... or 41...
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts

    Re: February-Pregnancy

    Liz, I was positive beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was having a boy, whereas most in my family were guessing girl.  We had a boy.  

    Tang, I went 41.5, but I recall my doctor saying, at 37 weeks "well, we wouldn't try to stop labor now"
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from Novembride. Show Novembride's posts

    Re: February-Pregnancy

    Hi Everyone!  I've been off the boards for awhile.  Congrats to all the new mamas on the arrival of your LO's!

    I'll be 20 weeks this week and can't belive we're halfway there.  Funny how it goes by so fast and so slow at the same time.  Been very busy touring and interviewing day cares and waiting to finally feel my little one moving.

    Liz - my shower is going to be around 60 people, which at first freaked me out too, but DH and I both come from big families and there was no getting around it.  My mom found the perfect venue though, and it will still feel intimate,  so now the number seems less overwhelming.  People are already asking about the registry, though, so I need to get going on that.   Sounds like you will be able to work it out with your Mom.  Just be honest.  There is so much about this wole experience that is overwhelming.  I'm sure she'll want to avoid stressing you out.
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: February-Pregnancy

    Congrats on reaching the halfway mark, Novem!

    Thanks to those of you who could speak to the brother-sister relationship.  It's helpful to hear your perspectives.

    I had absolutely no intuition whatsoever whether I was having a boy or girl.  Everyone I've ever known in my personal life who was absolutely certain about the gender ended up with the opposite gender.  :) I think I purposely ignored all intuition because I didn't want to be wrong!
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from summerbride09. Show summerbride09's posts

    Re: February-Pregnancy

    I felt all along that I was having a girl. Most of our family and friends all guessed boy, and I will admit that DH and I were rooting for a boy. However, I just had this feeling since the start that it would be a girl, and ta-da! It's been confirmed three times that she is definitely a she. Now DH and I are both very excited for our little princess, and I've already gone overboard on making her room more girly than I first intended.
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from Tangerine5. Show Tangerine5's posts

    Re: February-Pregnancy

    Nov, welcome back! And wow - 20 weeks already! Congrats!

    Thanks, everybody, for the 40 week reassurance. I was seeing some stuff about starting to try to self-induce at around 38 weeks, which made me wonder. I've read a few things about 40 weeks being best for a "fully-baked" baby, that's my goal!

    Liz, I'm glad you have the kind of relationship with your mom where you can comfortably tell her what you want. My shower was 25-30 people and felt like the perfect size. It took me forever to open all the gifts with a shower that big, so I can only imagine how long it'd take with a bigger group!

    And, I had a VERY strong intuition that we were having a boy. Of course, it helps that DH's family is very male-heavy, so I probably always had a feeling, but I felt about as sure as I could, and I was right! :)
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from Arcain. Show Arcain's posts

    Re: February-Pregnancy

    I definitely thought I was having a boy, and I am, but I figure it was a 50% shot :-). I also think some part of me was kind of hoping for a girl, so I got myself thinking boy so I'd be happy either way. Like Summer, though, once we found out what we were having, DH and I both became totally psyched for a boy. I haven't even met this little guy yet, but I can't imagine him being anything but a he at this point :-).

    Tang - my post may have been one of the things you saw about self-inducing at 38 weeks. I'm only considering that because I have a history of high bp and my doc wants to induce me if I don't go by my due date and I really want to avoid that. If that weren't a factor, my goal would definitely be 40 weeks.
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: February-Pregnancy

    Poppy - I am older girl with younger brother.  We were a bit further apart than your kids will be, but I don't think you need to be worried.  :)
    We had lots of the same toys, especially when really young.  As we got old enough to actually ask for different things, birthdays and holidays were plenty to fill in the gaps.  The number 1 toy I can remember us both enjoying were those cardboard brick blocks.
    Here is a cute article:
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from Novembride. Show Novembride's posts

    Re: February-Pregnancy

    In Response to Re: February-Pregnancy:
    Now DH and I are both very excited for our little princess, and I've already gone overboard on making her room more girly than I first intended.
    Posted by summerbride09

    This makes me laugh summer.  Before I knew the gender I was dead set on a plain, neutral, navy and white crib set no matter what it turned out to be.  Well, fast forward a couple of weeks and I am now obsessed with a set that is black and white with fuschia trim, as well as a white shag throw rug for under the crib!

    To chime in on intuition:  I ALWAYS imagined myself with only boys.  When I first found out I was pg I had an instant sensation that it was a girl, but then it faded away and I had no real inkling.  DH and both sets of grandparents thought girl and were all right.
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from rama8677. Show rama8677's posts

    Re: February-Pregnancy

    I knew my DD was a girl. I had a strong feeling and I was right. I have a feeling No 2 is a boy. We shall see... If that's true then I will also have older girl, younger brother. Poppy - maybe we can arrange a playdate!! AFM, 14 weeks and starting to feel uncomfortable in my clothes and bloated by the end of the day. I was able to hold out until 19 weeks with my first pregnancy before I needed maternity clothes. I'm thinking I won't last that long this time and it's not going to be much longer before I start wearing them again.