First OB appt...should DH go?

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from miss-cellaneousJones. Show miss-cellaneousJones's posts

    First OB appt...should DH go?

    So I have my first "real" appt with my OB this week. Had my intake appointment last week while DH was out of town, so he did not attend with me. Just wondering if he should come with me to my appointment this week? He would absolutely come if he didn't have a conflict that day but turns out he does, he has a grad school test to make up from last week since he was out-of-town. I don't really want to reschedule so I was hoping for some insight on what to expect for this first visit, will we be real bummed if he misses this one? Thanks ladies.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from Trouble30. Show Trouble30's posts

    Re: First OB appt...should DH go?

    I just had my first a couple of weeks ago (at 10 weeks) and it's not very exciting.  Just a quick pelvic and the doc answers any question you might have.  If you DH can go, great, but if he can't no worries because he won't miss anything exciting.  But, if you are 12 weeks or near, the doc will be able to have you hear the baby's heartbeat, so that will be something you don't want DH to miss.  Hope that might help a little!
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from smileyd. Show smileyd's posts

    Re: First OB appt...should DH go?

    I'd say that he should come with you.  I had a miscarriage for my first pregnancy with no symptoms.  Found out at the doctor's, when they couldn't find anything and DH wasn't there.  It was very difficult being alone and then having to call him to tell him.  Since then, he's been to EVERY appointment with me (through one full pregnancy and now into our second since the m/c).  Whether they're exciting or not, he also feels involved by being there and able to ask questiosn and get to know the doctor's as well. 
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from happy2bpg. Show happy2bpg's posts

    Re: First OB appt...should DH go?

    My DH did not come to any of the regular appts, just the ones with ultrasounds.    He didn't hear the heartbeat til I was in labor.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from June08bride. Show June08bride's posts

    Re: First OB appt...should DH go?

    My DH did not come to the first appointment and glad he didn't.  It was almost 2 hours long, gave my history, got an exam and drew blood.  He did come to the appointment where you would hear the heartbeat for the first time, all the ultrasound appointments and one just to meet the other doctor in our practice just in case she was to deliver our little bundle of joy.  I go for weekly non stress tests and he came to the first one, but hasn't come since and I am very ok with it since its un-eventful.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from mckate. Show mckate's posts

    Re: First OB appt...should DH go?

    My DH couldn't go due to work, took my mom instead...  DH is planning on going to the second one!
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from austengirl. Show austengirl's posts

    Re: First OB appt...should DH go?

    DH did not attend and probably will not unless they are ultrasound appts as he has a new job.  First appt was very uneventful just as everyone says.  I would not worry about him missing it
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from ElmiraGulch. Show ElmiraGulch's posts

    Re: First OB appt...should DH go?

    In Response to First OB appt...should DH go?:
    [QUOTE]He would absolutely come if he didn't have a conflict that day but turns out he does, he has a grad school test to make up from last week since he was out-of-town.
    Posted by miss-cellaneousJones[/QUOTE]

    He's got somthing going on - that's OK.  You will need him to be available later (especially after the baby) so don't burn your time with him now.  There will be plenty of time for him to come to future appointments if he wants.  The heartbeat isn't going anywhere.  You can have a private ultrasound if he can't attend the one that your doctor will likely request at ~20 weeks.  You will likely spend a goodly amount of time sitting in a chair.  Then you will pee in a cup, stand on a scale, have your belly measured.  At some point, you will likely be in some state of clinical undress, there may be some poking, or not. YMMV.

    If you or he have questions, write them down and then write down the answers.  Doctor's appointments are notorious for leaving people with scattered minds. 
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from hot-tomato. Show hot-tomato's posts

    Re: First OB appt...should DH go?

    I don't think there's any hard and fast rule here -- DH should go if you and he both think he should be there! Mine came for my first appointment -- it was just a nice way to feel like we were in this together.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from lilmomma2be. Show lilmomma2be's posts

    Re: First OB appt...should DH go?

    My DH came to the first one and it was a complete waste of time for him in our opinion. As other posters have said, I would just have him attend ultrasound appointments unless he has a lot of schedule flexibility.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from kaydo. Show kaydo's posts

    Re: First OB appt...should DH go?

    I'm with hot-tomato - it's a personal thing.  DH came to my first appointment and while, yes, he probably didn't NEED to be there, I liked that he was, that we met our new doctor together, asked questions together, could talk things over together later, etc.  Also, at MGH, you don't always see your own doctor (they recommend seeing others throughout your pregnancy, because anyone in the practice could end up delivering you) so I liked that he was there for that long appointment.  Since then, he has mostly just come to ultrasound appointments (and usually stays for the doctor visit afterwards) but sometimes I go alone, and that's fine too.  

    I say if your DH has a legitimate reason not to go (which it obviously sounds like he does), but if you feel like you WANT him there, and it's a priority for you (I usually attend DH's "big" doctor's appointments with him because he likes having me there as an extra pair of ears to hear information, ask/answer the doc's questions, etc) , then it's something to consider.

     

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