June - Pregnancy

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from bostongrl. Show bostongrl's posts

    Re: June - Pregnancy

    I need some advice on DH:

    He is really freaking out about the whole baby thing.  Like woke me up at 4am to talk because his heart was pounding and he was sweating.  It really bothers him that he has not been super excited about finding out or about the early weeks.  Now I realize that this is an odd time for the guys... they are not involved in the early weeks, there is nothing to see or hear, etc, etc. I've had a ton of friends tell me that their DHs weren't genuinely excited until they held the baby.  But it still really bothers DH that he isn't excited yet.  I believe that when we go to the first u/s next Friday that it will be "real" for him and it might surprise him how much of a difference seeing the little bugger will make. 

    I guess my question is: how do I support him while he feels like this?  Part of me just wants to say be patient... it will come.  But that feels like I am dismissing his concerns.  I've tried to explain that it is a some what common feeling for guys, but that doesnt really make him feel any better.  Then I start to think, what if seeing the u/s doesn't elicit all these feelings he thinks he should have?  I tried to tell him it might be a matter of "faking it until you make it" ... ie. try to act excited and maybe the genuine feelings will follow, but he thought it would be too much like putting on a facade... and I see that.  I only said that because he still sort of makes fun of me when I read pregnancy books or articles about babies... so I thought that at least pretending to be interested in the topic might get him thinking along the right lines.  I also try to talk about the things I'm looking forward to, and try to get him to think about stuff like this too.  and not just pregnancy stuff... like places I want to go with the baby, or just the little things like looking forward to getting down on the floor and playing with our son or daughter.  He will kind of play along, but not really. 

    It does upset me to see him so frustrated with himself.  My heart really goes out to him, and I'm just not sure what the right thing to say is right now. 

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from pittftw. Show pittftw's posts

    Re: June - Pregnancy

    bostongrl, it is a really weird time for DHs. I do think that once he sees the u/s it will be less abstract for him. And the fact that he's worried about not being excited enough in and of itself shows that he is concerned about the whole situation. I think it's just hard for the guys to wrap their heads around an abstract little baby and all the ways it's going to change their lives. Just be as reassuring as you can. Hopefully the u/s will make it all more real for him.

    AFM, we're leaving on a long weekend that we planned before we found out I was pg. I'm really hoping I can enjoy all the great restaurants we planned on going to. I have felt slightly less m/s the past day or two, so I'm hoping that means I've turned a corner(?).

    Question for you working moms - how long after you told friends and family did you were pg did you tell your office? Seems like some people have waited a long time after. We have only told immediate family so far, so I'm not sure when to break the news to the world at large...
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from clc51510. Show clc51510's posts

    Re: June - Pregnancy

    Boston - I haven't been there but I'm wondering if buying something for the LO that your DH would get excited about would help?  For instance, my DH loves baseball.  Whether we have boys or girls down the road I know that baseball will be part of their lives.  A little mitt or outfit that says "Daddy's little slugger" would get him so excited. Is it possible for you to do something like that?  An outfit that he could actually hold might make it a little more real for him? 

    Or could you show him an article that talks about how babies can hear in the womb?  Maybe he can pick out some music for the baby to listen to.  I know it might be a little early for your LO to actually hear the music but you could leave that part out.

    No matter what, as long as you support him and listen to his feelings I think you're doing everything right.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from itsallnew. Show itsallnew's posts

    Re: June - Pregnancy

    Boston-  I can't remember how far along you are, but I think it's either 8 wks or 11 wks (Sorry!!).  My DH didn't seem to go through the same things that you describe, but I know neither of us really made much out of the pregnancy until I got to 12 wks and we had the ERA.  I think in some ways it helped us protect ourselves.

    It sounds like the best thing you can do is to listen and see if you can ask questions to understand, rather help him understand, why he is freaking out that he isn't excited yet.  My guess is that he is afraid that he's never going to be excited, but I also assume that at some point you and DH had a conversation about having kids and he was on board.  It also becomes more real for both of you when you see the u/s, see your belly grow, and start feeling the baby move.  I hope he stops being so hard on himself!!  You're right that this emotion is very common for the guys.

    Pitt- We told my parents, sister and BIL at 7-8 wks (after I had my first u/s), I told my BFF at 10 wks, and all other family and friends we told beginning at 12 wks- i am still telling people I think.  I didn't tell work until 17 wks. HTH!
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from Prill. Show Prill's posts

    Re: June - Pregnancy

    Boston - my DH was really cautious at first and took the "lets not get too excited, there is still a long way to go" stance. Seeing the ultrasounds there was a little more buy in/excitement. He then really enjoyed researching strollers and Pack & Plays.  Then there was kind of a lull until a few weeks ago (I am now 38 weeks), but now he seems really excited. He talks to my tummy every night and prods at my belly to try and get baby to move (yes, annoying sometimes, but, hey, I'll let him have his fun!). He also enjoyed putting stuff together - bassinette, stroller etc. I even caught him with the stroller in the living room, pretending to peek through the viewing flap on the sun shield and saying "peek a boo baby"!!

    Give him time and try to involve him in things you know will press his 'excitement buttons' - I knew, for example, that DH would love the technical aspect of researching strollers, so that was his job and I didn't interfere.  Also, don't make every conversation baby related, or every book you read be about pregnancy - be sure you are still doing non-baby related things, having non-baby related conversations etc. He may have some anxiety that once baby arrives you will no longer want/need to spend time with him, or there may be other fears such as how you will cope financially etc etc. don't push him to talk about it, but let him know you are there if he wants to talk and most of all, that you are in this together.

    Yes, being pregnant and having the baby will be a huge adjustment in your life, embrace it, but remember the baby should enhance your lives, not become your lives.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from Trouble30. Show Trouble30's posts

    Re: June - Pregnancy

    Boston, I agree with some of the others that he will likely start to get excited after the first u/s.  That's when it became real for me and DH too.  I can sort of relate to your DH - but in terms of anxiety rather than lack of excitement.  Maybe it's a little of both?  They have a few funny books out for new dads and dads-to-be.  Sort of like a car manual for babies.  Maybe that'll help?  Or at least get a laugh?  I also agree that men really don't become dads until the day the baby is born.  Women become moms almost at conception.  Anyway, in time I'm sure it'll get better.  Good luck!

    Pitt, (BTW are you from Pittsburgh?  I went to school out there :) ) I told work at around 16 or 17 weeks for both of mine.  Mainly because I was waiting for the results of the early risk assessment.  You'd be surprised how oblivious people can be since in the early stages it's hard to tell if you gained weight or really are pregnant.  But if you want to tell sooner, no harm in that either. 
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from thistleflower. Show thistleflower's posts

    Re: June - Pregnancy

    Boston, like everyone else said, I think the ultrasound made me and my DH more excited.  We also found out the sex and I think that helped us both picture the baby a lot better, plus around the same time he could start to feel her kicking and that's been kind of amazing. 

    Pitt, I told immediate family at 13 weeks, and my work at 17 because I worried it was getting obvious (apparently I was wrong--I'm 21 weeks now and apparently most people still can't tell).  Most other people I didn't make too much effort to tell, but I told some extended family and friends around 17 weeks too because I figured if I was telling work I should tell them.  Ironically I felt like I had more latitude in waiting to tell family/friends than work, because my work people see me every day and it was much easier for them to notice.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from quadgirl1234. Show quadgirl1234's posts

    Re: June - Pregnancy

    Hope everthing is going well for Sprout.

    Just about 36 weeks here.  Went to the doctor today, I had the strep test and asked her to check me and I am 1cm dialated.  Yipee.. Not that means very much, I was 1 cm with DD for 3 weeks.   Just gets me excited that i am almost there and if I do need some intervention with induction the process should not be too bad!
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from jennifyr78. Show jennifyr78's posts

    Re: June - Pregnancy

    Boston, I'm sorry your DH is feeling this way.  My DH was pretty noncommittal on the kid front for the first few years of our relationship.  He agreed he wanted them, but was very nonchalant and had a "if it doesn't happen it doesn't happen" stance.  But, once many of our friends started having kids, and we started hanging out with them more, and he got more comfortable holding babies, he really came around.  Once we started actively TTC, he was very interested in my cycles and was almost more anxious than me when I took pg tests.  I've always wanted kids, but it was like all of a sudden his biological clock started ticking, and he does the same thing as Prill's DH where he rubs my belly and wants to know if the baby can hear him yet.  I'm sure he will come around.  I agree that hearing the heartbeat and seeing an ultrasound help solidify the experience.

    Pitt - We told immediate family at 9-10 weeks, more extended family/close friends at 12 weeks after the ERA/Ultrasound, and gradually told other friends and family as we saw them in person, between 12-15 weeks.  We "came out" to the public on facebook at 15 weeks (after ensuring that all the most important people had already heard from us in person or over the phone), and I told my boss and close coworkers between 15-16 weeks.  Other coworkers still don't know, but we are pretty much out in the open with the news now. 

    Everyone is different, though, and you can tell people right away or hold on to the news as you see fit.  Good luck!
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: June - Pregnancy

    Does anyone know if Sprout got induced on schedule yesterday?
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from bostongrl. Show bostongrl's posts

    Re: June - Pregnancy

    thanks everyone for your responses!  I think that it reconfirms my belief that the u/s could be the big turning point.  I do try to keep things balanced with non-baby topics these days... but at the same time I think that also helps him almost pretend like it isn't happening... BUT until he sees the u/s maybe it is ok to have the baby thing be in the background.  I mean, I don't even always feel like it's real yet and I'm the one who is exhausted and nauseous.  Maybe after the u/s we can take a trip down the toy aisle :o)  He was in concept on board with our ttc plans but he is also not a big fan of change and finds stuff like this very scary.  It took a year + to convince him that we were "ready" to get married. 

    Hope everyone has good weekend plans!  and good luck to Sprout!

     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from pittftw. Show pittftw's posts

    Re: June - Pregnancy

    Thanks to all who chimed in out timing for telling your news. I'm tempted to tell my office around the same time we break the news to friends and family, since I work with several good friends. I'd hate for my boss to hear it second hand, so I feel like it might be more professional to tell him early on.

    Trouble, I'm not from Pittsburgh, but I went to school there, too :) Let's Go Pitt!

    Still no news of Sprout, huh? Hope all went okay.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from Trouble30. Show Trouble30's posts

    Re: June - Pregnancy

    So funny Pitt!  I went to CMU.  Sounds like you have a good plan about announcing your news.  I'm sure you'll be so relieved when you do.  I definitely was.

    I hope Sprout and family are well!

    AFM, I am starting to nest :)  I went over all the stuff we need to do before DS arrives with DH last night.  So exciting!  I can't believe our little guy will be here in only 6 more weeks!!! 
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from jennifyr78. Show jennifyr78's posts

    Re: June - Pregnancy

    I went ahead and purchased the Compact Mini Snoogle this weekend (free shipping on Amazon).  I am excited for its arrival, and will let you know what I think. 

    I went shopping for some maternity clothes at Old Navy (Burlington) this weekend, and was very disappointed.  The maternity clothes online looked so good, but the selection in the store was awful.  The maternity section was tiny, and tucked into the back corner of the store.  The racks were a jumbled mess of mixed sizes and styles, and hardly anything was on sale.  I did get a few basic staples (t-shirts/tanks) a cute top for summer weekends and a pair of jean capris.  But my whole goal was to buy some work-appropriate attire (basic black slacks and a blouse or two), and I left emptyhanded in that respect.  Does anyone have any suggestions for affordable maternity shopping in the north shore/middlesex area - with a focus on good work clothes?

    Also, I feel like I'm behind the 8 ball already, but when did you start looking into birthing classes?  Or do people even still do that?  I saw a flyer for an expectant parents class at MGH, but it meets on weekdays during work hours.  Is this something you arrange through your doctor or research and sign up for on your own?  Any tips in this area (as I am obviously clueless) are much appreciated. 

    Thanks, and hope to hear good news from Sprout soon!
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from bostongrl. Show bostongrl's posts

    Re: June - Pregnancy

    Jenn,
    Definitely let me know how that pillow works out... I was window shopping for those last week after your posts.  For maternity clothes... DH and I were trapped at the mall a few weeks back while we waited for tires to be changed at Sears ... it looks like most Macy's carry the Motherhood line and the prices seemed decent.  I didn't really need anything yet so I didn't buy... but I was checking out the selection.  Sears and JC Penny also had maternity sections that were reasonably large.  I know ON and gap are my go to stores ...but don't forget the mall stores, Ann Taylor Loft, and even Target or Khols. 

    As for childbirth classes ... at my 8 week appt the nurse handed me this huge book of info for UMass (worcester) and in it was a listing of all the classes they offer.  There was definitely a 5week evening or 1 day Saturday birth class.  We'll probably opt for the 5 week evening deal... as it seemed to go into more info.  I think some of the other ladies have mentioned that Isis does these sorts of classes?  Im not too familar with the Boston hospitals anymore since moving to the sticks ... but maybe the city hospitals have outsourced to Isis?  GL!

     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: June - Pregnancy

    Sprout must have had her baby.......praying all is well and looking forward to the story!
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from Krystabel. Show Krystabel's posts

    Re: June - Pregnancy

    Hi Jenn,  I had good luck at the Motherhood maternity store in the Burlington Mall.  I got 3 pairs of work pants, 2 work tops a pair of jean shorts a pair of work out shorts and 2 cartigan style cover ups for maybe $180.  I had inherited a bunch of maternity tops, but the hand-me-down pants didn't work for me.  The sears in the Burlington Mall has 2 racks of maternity clothes as does the Kohls across the street - I was disappointed at both.  I have heard really good things about target maternity section, but I havent' gotten there.

    As for classes, I took the Natural childbirth class through Harvard Vanguard - it was very helpful, I agree with AJuly - I think it was more helpfulo for my DH because I have been reading tons of stuff : http://www.vanguardmed.org/classes/newtilt/programs2.asp
    and I am taking the Hypnobirthing class through Newton Wellesley:  https://www.nwh.org/events/detail?event_id=55972
    I am sure Newton Wellesley has other classes too.  There is also Isis, although I have founf them to be much expensive and although I know a lot of people on these boards really likes Isis, I don't care for their business model... they use the classes to sell stuff in their stores - which is smart business, but if I am paying for a class, I don't want a 5 week commercial... just a pet peeve of mine.  I know someone who used to teach for Isis - not that I've taken a class there.

    BTW - not sure if you are interested in Natural Childbirth, but the book I have been reading is Natural childbirth for dummies: http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Idiots-Guide-Natural-Childbirth/dp/159257937X  and I highly recommend it! 

    Sprout - thinking of you!  Hope all went smoothly for your induction on Thursday and you were able to spend the weekend snuggling with your LO. I can't wait to hear your birth story! 

    AFM - I hit 30 weeks on Saturday!  In some ways I can hardly believe I'm 3/4 of the way there and in some ways it feels like a long time.  About 10 weeks to go and still a lot to do around the house!  I'm feeling pretty good tired and having trouble focusing on work - all I want to think about is preparing for our baby... probably normal.  Have to focus!  :-)  

    Looking forward to the long weekend!!
    Happy sunny Monday everyone!

     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALS76. Show ALS76's posts

    Re: June - Pregnancy

    Hi Jenn and Boston.  My DD is turning 1 in 2 weeks (hard to believe!), but I still lurk on these boards from time to time.  I'm not sure if it has been mentioned lately, but I had great luck shopping at Destination Maternity.  They are in the malls (not sure which ones), a stand-alone store in Natick on route 9 (very large store), and on-line too.  Good prices and I was able to get work clothes (pants, tops, skirts), casual weekend stuff (t shirts, capris), and even a couple of nice dresses.  Good luck!

     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from Krystabel. Show Krystabel's posts

    Re: June - Pregnancy

    ALS - yes, that is the place in the Burlington Mall!  I got the name wrong, I think the name on the clothing they sell is Motherhood Maternity.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALS76. Show ALS76's posts

    Re: June - Pregnancy

    Yes, they do sell the Motherhood brand at Destination Maternity.  I always found that the more reasonably priced stuff was towards the back of the store (including the Motherhood stuff).  They always feature the Pea in the Pod, etc. outfits up front, but those items were always more pricey.  I always made a bee-line to the back and would luck out with a bunch of stuff for not much $.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: June - Pregnancy

    Destination maternity (natick) has all ranges of clothes and price ranges. I found some nice work pants for about $30pp-I hate spending more than that on clothes I'm only going to wear for a few months. But you can spend $110 for jeans there too. they have the range. Kohls also has the Motherhood, or Oh Baby line and some good deals. Gap Maternity in the Natick Collection can be good. Old Navy-they look cute on line, but in reality they don't hold up for work in my opinion.

    Well, I had a hormonal weekend. Including bursting into tears when we bought a rug for DS's big boy room. Poor DH didn't know what hit him! :) But the upside, I got a lovely rug from Pottery Barn kids and a great rug for the new baby at crate and barrel...so not in the grand scheme of things. But I'm a very happy pregnant lady!

    But I finally bought an outfor for the LO! I realized why I've been paralyzed, I know all those cute girl outfits aren't practical! She'll be a fall baby so those adorable sun dresses just won't fly for us. At the end of the season I'll snag some for next summer. But carters has a sweet layette that says "Little Sister" and the socks are just so small and cute! melted DH's heart when he saw them.

    For those with DH's having a hard time adjusting: the first u/s will definitely bring it home. it's such an abstract thought right now, you don't look pregnant, you don't feel anything, so it's hard to really accept and comprehend. As you progress and have u/s hear the heart beat, feel/see the baby move it will sink in and they'll be all over the baby!

    Hope all is well with Sprout! Anyone else up on deck soon?

     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: June - Pregnancy

    I haven't had time to read all the posts, but wanted to suggest reading the weekly babycenter.com updates with your DH.  DH and I would read them together and really enjoyed finding out what was happening in there when we couldn't feel or see anything.  It's so cool to know that your little one is growing lungs, etc.

    Old Navy - The two stores I went to had barely any maternity stuff.  I ordered about 4-5 things online and all were too big.  I had heard their stuff ran large; should have listened!  I kept one pair of pants and a sweater anyway, but I never did really grow into that sweater.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from Krystabel. Show Krystabel's posts

    Re: June - Pregnancy

    In Response to Re: June - Pregnancy:
    I always made a bee-line to the back and would luck out with a bunch of stuff for not much $.
    Posted by ALS76


    ALS, That is exactly what I did ... right to the back of the store.  That is how I generally shop anyway.
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from CookieM. Show CookieM's posts

    Re: June - Pregnancy

    Congrats, Wed.  What a beautiful name.  It was on our short-list before we found out we're expecting a boy.

    Like everyone, hoping things went well for Sprout, and that we'll hear more soon.

    Jenn,  I had good luck for work things at the motherhood in the Burlington Mall.  Also, I just picked up a couple of warmer-weather things at the Kohl's in Woburn (Washington St).  I only have 5 weeks to go, but didn't have much in the way of out of the house, but not at work clothes.

    DH and I took two classes at Isis this weekend.  BWH's classes are all smack-dab in the middle of a work day, and not all on same days.  Who are they kidding?  I didn't mind the money so much, and I didn't think the sales pitch was too bad.  Very strong doula agenda.  Like if you don't have one, you're not going to have support.  Also, strong BF agenda, which I understand.  But, am very sensitive to because it's off the table for me.  ALSO, the "prepared childbirth" instructor was a bimbo.  8 hours honestly could have been about 2 1/2.  We did that in Brookline, and the classroom smelled TERRIBLE.  The handout was helpful, though.  DH points out that since I'm a nurse, and previously in nursing education, that my standards are a little high.  So, maybe with a better instructor (her name was Tara Somethingorother-steer clear).  Newborn essentials was helpful (again more for DH than me), and three hours was much better than 8.  We did that in Arlington Ctr.  Street parking on Sunday.  Easy peasy.

    AFM, not much.  OB/NP checkup last week went fine.  35 weeks now.  Feeling a little more tired, and this past weekend a little pukey.  But, chemo # 10 of 12 (not counting the other four cycles before that) this week.  VERY much looking forward to being done with that.  Probably the cause of the nausea, so I'll be asking to add some Zofran this time around.  Room for DS is almost ready, bag not packed yet.  List of a MILLION things to do.  And, still working 40 hours.  Whew.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from itsallnew. Show itsallnew's posts

    Re: June - Pregnancy

    Cookie- you are an amazing woman.  :o)
     
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