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October 2011 Pregnancy

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from itsallnew. Show itsallnew's posts

    October 2011 Pregnancy

    We're a quiet bunch so far this month!  I just wanted to start the new thread...

    How's everyone doing?  Any news from Krysta?
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from Arcain. Show Arcain's posts

    Re: October 2011 Pregnancy

    Thanks for starting, itsallnew. I've been waiting to hear news from everyone!

    I'll start off this month with a big ol' dose of irrational upsetness. I just this moment got the wonderful news that our friends had a baby boy. They named him....our absolute #1 boy name!! For what it's worth, it's a somewhat uncommon name so I was really thrown for a loop.

    I have always scoffed at people who get upset over names in this way, and now, oops, apparently I'm one of them. However:
    - These friends would have no way of knowing the name was even on our list.
    - We don't find out what we're having for 2 more weeks, so there's a roughly 50% chance this will be irrelevant.
    - These friends also live in Maryland, so it's not like we see them a ton.

    Yet I'm kind of freaking out and wondering if we have to rethink our choices. I feel like the kids will be close enough together that our mutual friends (of whom there are many) will wonder if we took our name idea from them. At the same time, I've loved this name for years and pretty much made up my mind years ago that it would be my son's name (DH has been very obliging :-)).

    Thoughts on the unwritten rules of naming your kid the same as a friend's/family member's and/or the ridiculous things pregnant women are capable of working themselves into a frenzy over? :-)
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from pittftw. Show pittftw's posts

    Re: October 2011 Pregnancy

    In Response to Re: October 2011 Pregnancy:
    Thoughts on the unwritten rules of naming your kid the same as a friend's/family member's and/or the ridiculous things pregnant women are capable of working themselves into a frenzy over? :-)
    Posted by Arcain

    My husband decided to totally abondon a name he's always pictured for our LO after a co-worker named their son the same thing, so I know where you are coming from. I personally feel like we could still name our son that, but DH says it would be too weird for him.
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from hughkona. Show hughkona's posts

    Re: October 2011 Pregnancy

    <--18w2d here now :)
    Big ultrasound next week... on my 30th birthday woot!

    Arcain, I think you can go forward with your name. I think you should mention to them, "Oh, thats our boy name too! We have always loved it" since you said it is not a traditionally popular name.

    Unfortunately, its very hard to pick a name that is unique but not too strange. Very fine balance! 

    Would you share the name?

    I think right now our #1 names are Avery for a girl and Colin for a boy.
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from Tangerine5. Show Tangerine5's posts

    Re: October 2011 Pregnancy

    Hi ladies - I think it's time I finally came out of the closet, so to speak, and joined the pregnancy thread! I just hit 13 weeks, and have been pretty gun-shy about declaring my pregnancy after a long bout with IF treatments. But my NT scan went great last week, we have a strong heartbeat, and now that I'm in the second trimester, I think we're ready to start telling people (we've only told our parents and a couple of close friends). I'm looking forward to getting to know you all and sharing our pregnancies!

    Arcain, I know just how you feel, and honestly I don't think it's irrational at all to feel upset. I'd mentioned my #1 all-time favorite boy name, which is also a family name, to my BFF early in her pregnancy. Right before she delivered, she told me that the only boy name she and her DH agreed on name. I honestly think she'd forgotten that I'd mentioned it to her months earlier - she's not the type of person to intentionally "steal" a name. And of course a little while later, she had a boy and they gave him "my" name. I was SOOO upset (didn't tell her, though, of course!). And since I was still struggling to get pg at the time, it wasn't like I had a legitimate claim on the name anyway. It still stings, but it would feel too weird to use the same name as her, so I've reluctantly abandoned it. BUT - since you guys live far apart and don't see each other often, I think it's completely fine to do as hughkona suggested, tell her that's been your name forever, and go ahead and use it (if your LO is a boy, of course!).
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from bostongrl. Show bostongrl's posts

    Re: October 2011 Pregnancy

    I would be a bit freaked out by a friend chosing my top name choice as well.   In reality, it probably would not be a big deal for you to also use that name.  I hate to say it, but over time we tend to loose touch with friends, especially those living out of state.  (though there are certainly many exceptions)  Your child will probably never realize that there is another little kid that you knew at one point in time with the same name.  I would take hughkona's advice of sending the congratulatory email/phone call and mentioning in a casual/excited way that you really love that name and it is at the top of your list too.  Then it wont be a surprise if you do end up using.  Then again, a lot can happen over the next couple months.  Maybe you'll fall in love with a completely different name.

    AFM... We finally decided on a daycare and that has relieved a lot of stress on my part.  I was having a really difficult time choose between 2 home daycares, so DH came with me for a "daytime" visit since my initial visits had both been at the end of the day.  After seeing both places in the swing of activities and getting DH's gut reaction it became pretty obvious which one fit more with our needs and approaches.  Now that this major decision has been crossed of my to do list... I can really enjoy focusing on getting the baby's room ready. 

    I finished making curtains over the weekend and now I'm working on a crib skirt.  I originally wasn't planning on going all out on crib accessories, but I had extra material and saw a pattern that was really cute.  My sister loaned me her sewing machine and gave me a crash course on how to use it.  I consider myself pretty crafty, but it has still been kind of cool to see all these things come together knowing that I've made them all.  I have found making the curtains and decorations as a really good outlet for bonding with the baby since I can't actually hold her yet.  And seeing the nursery starting to look like it is ready for a baby and not just our hodgepodge of stuff in the extra bedroom has helped me mentally prepare for motherhood. 

    Now a question... how involved have your DH's been in your pregnancy and getting ready for baby?  My DH has the attitude of "I'll figure it out when the time comes" and I have the opposite approach of wanting to read and learn about what to expect.  This has created a little bit of hormonal strife between us, because I interpret it as him not being interested in the baby.  I get that pregnancy is a weird time for dads because they can't be nearly as involved as mom obviously is.  But, I had always envisioned my partner trying to do whatever he could to be involved (backrubs, helping plan for baby, talking to my belly, etc), and that just isn't how DH is.  I didn't bother getting him a book about pregnancy, as I figured that I could teach him whatever he needed to know and I felt it was more important for him to concentrate on birth and caring for an infant.  But the flip side to that is that he doesnt necessarily know what I need right now and I'm probably not as good as I could be about verbalizing what I need.  It feels weird to have to say "it would be nice if you'd help me out of the chair" or "could you carry the laundry basket downstairs for me" because it seems more like nagging even though it would be teaching him what I'm having trouble with these days.  I am usually a super independent person, so he really isn't use to "taking care" of me.  It is weird for me to ask and probably weird for him to think of me as someone who needs help.

  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: October 2011 Pregnancy

    I agree with Boston - use the name you want.  How many truly LIFElong friends do we really have is one good point, and, so what if your kids do have the same name?  Lots of people share the same names.
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from clc51510. Show clc51510's posts

    Re: October 2011 Pregnancy

    I'm not ready to move over to these boards yet but I wanted to pass along some information for Boston... once we started TTC I went out and bought The Expectant Father for my DH.  Now that we've known for all of 4 days that I'm PG DH has been reading it daily.  He likes that it's actually geared toward the father and the reading is broken up into bullets or short paragraphs which means he can pick it up and read just a little at a time.  I don't know if that's an option for your DH but it might be worth looking into.  Other than that it wouldn't hurt to point out if you need him to do some things for you around the house!

    Hopefully I'll be seeing you ladies soon but for now I'm going to hide in the comfort of the TTC boards.
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from thistleflower. Show thistleflower's posts

    Re: October 2011 Pregnancy

    Boston, I don't know if you've done any childbirth classes or anything, but it might help.  My DH has always been pretty good at being engaged, but I think that the classes (we did the natural childbirth classes at Isis, and also a breastfeeding class and the newborn essentials class) have been helpful.  I think having more information has helped him to think about what we as a couple need to get done before the baby comes, so that he has ideas about what we should be doing and I don't have to be the boss of the whole process.  It might also help your DH to spend time with other pregnant women and their husbands.  Just a thought--you could certainly also get a book, but doing some classes together might help. 

    I can understand your husband not wanting to obsess too much ahead of time, but still, there are things that need to be done for baby and it shouldn't all fall on you to either do everything or have to order him to do specific things, you should both be involved with planning.  That said, I'm not sure that talking to the belly is for everyone--my DH doesn't, really, and actually even I don't talk to the baby much.
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from bostongrl. Show bostongrl's posts

    Re: October 2011 Pregnancy

    thistle I think the classes are going to make a big difference (at least for the birth/infant prep).  He is not a book reader at all, so I've only gotten him one and I chose for it to be the infant care (written for dads) since I figured that would be a more useful resource.  We start our childbirth class in about a month and I also signed us up for the breastfeeding and Make Way for Baby class.  I am hoping that the classroom setting is what will click for him.  One of my friends just gave me the same suggestion.  There have been little comments like "I dont understand why you need to go to class for breastfeeding, whats the big deal?" that let me know he just doesn't know that somethings dont come naturally.  My friend was also saying that in the breastfeeding class the instructor took the opportunity to let the dads know that mom's only job the first couple weeks should be to feed the baby.  That it is dad's responsibility to feed and take care of mom.  She said that really helped drill into her DH what he was suppose to be doing those first few days/weeks when she wasn't always able to rationally communicate to him what she needed. 

    As for pregnancy related involvement, we probably just need to talk more.  I get frustrated when he doesn't get my little cues, but now that I think of it DH does respond best when clearly requested to do stuff.  And then I'll need to be patient that he doesnt need to know about birth and breastfeeding yet... we can learn all about that in Nov/Dec and that is good enough.  I think I probably got excessively emotional yesterday.  I had a crappy commute and DH was in a sulky mood from work.  I wish he was more sentimental and emotionally involved with my pregnancy.. but he just isnt that kind of guy and I know that.  He was super helpful with choosing the daycare (once he made time for it) and other task oriented things. 
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: October 2011 Pregnancy

    My DH isn't a reader, but if he's interested in a topic we have a book on he likes me to read it aloud to him.  The added bonus to his "reading" the book is that we get to stop and chat about it along the way.  Maybe some of your non-readers might like to share the pregnancy books with you that way regarding the topics that interest them, of course.  Mucus plugs probably aren't anything they want to hear their wives read about, lol.
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from itsallnew. Show itsallnew's posts

    Re: October 2011 Pregnancy

    Boston- When I first mentioned classes to my DH he wasn't exactly into them, but he understood that I want them to be part of our experience and let it go.  Once we went to the classes, he was able to appreciate the purpose and value of the classes.  We took the Infant CPR and the new combo prepared childbirth class at Isis.  I can't remember how far along you are, but I mentioned the classes to him well before I intended to take them.  I'm 36 wks and we just did the childbirth one. 

    For the preparing for baby stuff, most of it for me was cleaning, organizing and purging things.  DH was involved with selecting the crib, car seat and stroller.  Did he seem to grin and bear it when I dragged him to places?  yes.  But did he actually enjoy the process of it?  I think so.  He just didn't have the motivation to do those things himself, but when I said "we have x,y, z baby tasks that we need to complete" he did them.  I also have spaced baby things out so that we're not always only doing baby things.

    I guess, try to work with him in the way he operates, while getting across what you need to especially when it's something like you need help.  An honest conversation of "I'm starting to get really tired now and I cannot do ___.  Help?" or "Can you please handle the laundry/dishes/etc.?" has worked for me, because my DH also responds best to specific asks and not subtle cues.

    Good luck!!

    Thistle- how are you doing?  The last month uncomfortableness hitting you too?
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from tc95. Show tc95's posts

    Re: October 2011 Pregnancy

    Happy October everyone!  Tang, it's so good to see you here- I love seeing friends from the TTC board. Hope to see more soon.

    Arcain, that's a tough one but I agree with the others who say use the same name if you love it. Especially where your friend is out of state, it's not like your LOs would be playing together frequently. I would say something sooner rather than later though just so your friend realizes this was a name you'd been considering before you heard her news.

    Boston, a friend gave me some great advice before I got married, she said her DH doesn't get hints or subtlety, that she needs to spell out exactly what she wants or needs him to do.  This may be a stereotype but my DH is exactly the same. When I was going thru IVF and now with the pregnancy, I've wanted him to be a little more concerned or thoughtful but I think he just isn't really sure what I need unless I say it. But when I specifically ask for help, he's happy to give it. He's excited but that doesn't translate to picking out baby swings and other gear the way it does for me. I think the childbirth class will be a big step forward but honestly, it might not be totally real for my DH until the baby is actually born. I have made sure to mention advice from my friends who recently had kids (for example, that breastfeeding isn't always easy and some women really struggle with it) just to try to prepare him a bit.

    Oh, and that's great that you've made curtains, I'd love to be crafty like that :)  Thanks for the info on 3D u/s as well- since we purposely haven't learned our baby's gender, I think I better stick with the traditional u/s (and not look too closely....)
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from thistleflower. Show thistleflower's posts

    Re: October 2011 Pregnancy

    Itsallnew, I'm hanging in there.  But, yes, uncomfortable.  I keep trying to focus on all of the nasty pregnancy-related problems I seem to have avoided so far, because it could be much worse, but then on the other hand, I'm swollen and my joints are achy and I have trouble sleeping.  And more importantly, my work is making me CRAZY.  I'm insanely busy, and I have a huge and very urgent new project that's getting in the way of getting my old projects in good shape to turn over to others, and all of it is getting in the way of getting things organized at home.  I feel like part of the problem might be that my nesting instinct is kicking in a little and it's making me very frustrated not to have time to really nest at all because I'm too frantic with work.  And my DH's parents are coming for the weekend, which is great but which will make it impossible for me to get caught up on anything over the weekend.  So, I'm a little stressed out all round.  How are you doing? 

    Also, I have a general question for those who've done this before or are fairly far along--can you really tell when the baby drops?  I don't think mine has, so I'm assuming I have at least a couple of weeks, but would I be able to tell?
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from hughkona. Show hughkona's posts

    Re: October 2011 Pregnancy

    I could never tell when DD dropped. I dont know that she ever did since when when I got to the hospital at 4cm (I'd been that way for a week before contractions started) they said she was still "high" and I was not in active labor (despite my ctx for 18 hours!)

    Even once she did "drop" as I walked the halls of the hospital I could not tell.  When they checked me again they said she was "way down" (vague, I know) and that I was now in active labor.

    Some people report that they have more bladder sensitivity, more pelvis pain or lower back pain all of a sudden.  And, they can breathe easier.  Didn't happen for me! I had a baby wedged right up into all my ribs and unable to take deep breathes at the end.  Ah, pregnancy!
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from cwagner13. Show cwagner13's posts

    Re: October 2011 Pregnancy

    I could not tell - even when the doctor said he had dropped and ready to go, I had no idea (this was a week before he was born). I did not feel any different, just crankier and having people comment more and more on my waddling and how big my belly was. They will come on their own terms :)
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from jennifyr78. Show jennifyr78's posts

    Re: October 2011 Pregnancy

    Welcome Tangerine!  That's so exciting.

    I'm a little late to the name discussion, but it is such a hot topic!  I think you are fine using the same name, especially since it's been on your list for so long, but I do think you should tell her right away. 

    Choosing a name has been so tough!  I was pretty methodical about going through a giant baby name website letter by letter and writing down all the names that appealed to me.   Out of several thousand names, I ended up with 60 on my list.  DH quickly came up with his top 10 list, and then we compared notes and vetoed names we didn't like.  He vetoed a good number of mine, and we are left with about 25 names (4 that overlapped).  Now we have to narrow that down.  It's a hard decision!

    I am now 31.5 weeks.  I can't believe my due date is 2 months away.  We still have so much to do.  The nursery furniture was delivered, but it is still in boxes in the room for now.  We were busy this weekend and didn't get to set it up.  I think once that's done I will feel better.  The baby is kicking up a storm, which is reassuring on one hand, but can get downright uncomfortable on the other.  I am also suffering from heartburn more regularly now, and general body aches and pains. I was also diagnosed with low iron at my last checkup, so hopefully my new iron supplements will help ease some of the fatigue I have been feeling.  But, all in all, I have been really lucky and have not had any major complications, so I am grateful. 

    I hope everyone else is feeling good.  Who is next up on deck in terms or due dates? 
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from thistleflower. Show thistleflower's posts

    Re: October 2011 Pregnancy

    Jenn, I think itsallnew and Leila and I may be next up?  Unless other are due this month that I'm forgetting.  I'm due the 29th. 

    We had a hard time choosing a name, too.  We just do not have similar taste in girl names, it appears.  In the end I made the decision to just give her the name my husband wants.  It's a little hard to explain why, because I still prefer the name I picked, but I think the bottom line is that I thought it would give them a nice connection if he picked the name.  And his name is fine, it  just isn't what I would have named her left to myself.
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from Arcain. Show Arcain's posts

    Re: October 2011 Pregnancy

    Thanks for the name advice, all. I think we'll stick with our boy name but DH will talk to our friend (the dad is his childhood friend) so they don't feel caught off guard. DH actually pointed out how funny it would be if we did have a boy and choose this name -- DH and the dad actually have the same name, too!

    I'm 18 weeks and feeling pretty good. I'm definitely getting a lot of flutters but I'm still finding it hard to tell the difference between a kick and a gas bubble. I am also constantly feeling my pulse in my abdomen, which makes it harder to tell. Those who are farther along -- when did you start feeling definite KICKS rather than the early flutters?

    I'm also dealing with back pain sooner than I expected to. Friday night we went to a friends' place for dinner right after work and by the time we were headed home I was horribly uncomfortable. It always gets worse as the day goes on. I've been trying to sleep on my side, too, but lately my back hurts so much when I try it that I have to lie flat. Anyone else dealing with this?
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from Leila32. Show Leila32's posts

    Re: October 2011 Pregnancy

    Hi all!  I hope everyone is doing well and that we hear from Krysta soon.  I haven’t checked in for a has been insane.  We had another round of layoffs and we lost the 2 out of the 3 people that were going to help out during my maternity leave.  I feel bad for my colleague who will now shoulder most of the work while I’m out.  It’s been stressful trying to tie up loose ends and work things out in advance to try and make things as easy as possible while I’m gone.  

    AFM I have about 3.5 weeks left and I can’t wait!  The room is ready and we have everything we need to bring him home.  I do need to pack my hospital bag...I have just about everything set out that I am going to bring with me, I just haven’t packed it yet.  

    I can definitely tell that the baby has dropped.  It wasn’t something I noticed immediately, but over a few days I noticed I have a lot more bladder pressure/frequency, I can breathe easier and I haven’t been getting heartburn like I was.  I haven’t had any back pain at all during this pregnancy, thankfully, but my hips and legs are definitely achy almost all the time now.  I’m also getting really tired again and find it hard to get through a full day at work.

  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from clc51510. Show clc51510's posts

    Re: October 2011 Pregnancy

    I'm still not ready to make the move over to this board but I need some advice... I'm 6 weeks pregnant and will have an ultrasound next week to make sure there is a heartbeat (I've had a significant amount of bleeding to start this pregnancy which is why they were initially concerned but luckily the bleeding has pretty much stopped).  Anyway, in a meeting at work today my boss was discussing a plan for my team to travel to several of our sites in late November - early December, because I'm the head of the team he plans on having me be present for most (if not all) of them.  I know I won't be so far along that flying will be an issue but also know from an exhaustion stand point I won't want to be traveling for three weeks around the globe.

    So my question is, should I mention something now?  They will be making these plans in the next few days.  It would be easier planning-wise if I said something now so they don't count on me being at all of them.  But it's still really early so I'm worried about saying anything.  Also, I will say my job is definitely family-friendly and my boss will be nothing but thrilled for me; however, if this pregnancy isn't viable that's not really a talk I want to have with my boss.  Any insight would be greatly appreciated!
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from hughkona. Show hughkona's posts

    Re: October 2011 Pregnancy

    clc-I would say if you have a good relationship with your boss you could say you are pregnant, but won't have a doctor appt to "confirm" pregnancy until next week.  I wouldn't count yourself out of any trips just yet.  You will be at the end of the first trimester, right? You might be feeling better by then!  During prengancy #1 I felt fine by then, but this pregnancy I was feeling EXTREME exhaustion weeks 6-10.  By week 11 I was symptomless, and still pretty much am (19 weeks now).  So, you never know.  It might be a great life experience before you are honkered down with a kiddo!! :)
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from cwagner13. Show cwagner13's posts

    Re: October 2011 Pregnancy

    For traveling, I would recommend also considering your comfort level with traveling and where the sites are. I traveled to CA at the end of my first trimester and I had co-workers who traveled up to 20-25 weeks or so in the US, but I also know if they had asked me to go to our Asia offices then, I would have said no - because I would not have felt secure in a country that I do not speak the native languages in case I did have a medical emergency. 
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: October 2011 Pregnancy

    clc, I think they can make late game changes if need be - I mean, what if you weren't pg, made plans, and then the week before the trip you fell and broke your ankle.  Life would go on with your company's plan without you just fine.  Not that you aren't important, of course, but they will manage.  If you decide at any point that you're no longer comfortable with the plan for you to travel, you can deal with it with them then.

    I wouldn't spill the beans at 5 or 6 weeks pg.  A lot can happen between now and then, and you are under no obligation no matter what you know is coming up to say something this early imho.

    ETA:  If you're not ready to jump to an anonymous pregnancy board, you're not ready to tell your boss for any reason.
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from bostongrl. Show bostongrl's posts

    Re: October 2011 Pregnancy

    Hi CLC ... my personal inclination would be to not say anything.  You never know how your body will react to pregnancy.  I was so scared of morning sickness because both my mom and my aunt had terrible nausea... turns out I totally lucked out.  There was exactly one morning that I felt like crap.  As long as I ate breakfast I was good to go.  As for being tired... there were definitely nights that I went to bed at 9:30... but nothing that I couldn't fight through if I needed to.  You don't list the locations being considered, but I think the part that would scare me the most would be finding safe/appealing food depending on the location.  My advice comes with one caveat... I work in a male dominated field at a company that thinks that it is family friendly but really is only mediocre ... so I may be a bit jaded.

    AFM.. we finally chose a daycare.  I thought that it would make me feel so much better to have that decision behind us, but now I just feel so bad about having to call the lady that we didn't choose and tell her.  I felt like I really got to know her since I visited twice and called with questions, even though that was just a normal part of down-selecting.  I know it is part of the business, but I felt so bad calling her.  She seemed really disappointed ... but such is life.  I am glad that I only seriously looked at 2 places because I don't know if I could have made more than 1 rejection call.  Anyways... I'm really happy with the daycare we chose.  I think it will be a great environment, is convenient to our commute, has hours that are long enough that it wont be stressfull trying to get home, they are only closed 1 week a year, and I really liked the owner.