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  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from NorthernLghts. Show NorthernLghts's posts


    Thanks Med. We made up our minds last night and we have to do what's best in the end, think with our heads and not our hearts. The only good thing I can is that according to my insurance policy, this doesn't get in the way of the year they told us to wait before they would cover us for IVF...supposedly. I have a call into RE to make an appointment and also to confirm with someone who I am sure has dealt with situations like ours to make sure this isn't wrong. There isn't anything in the medical policy language that has an stipulations about how a loss occurs. It doesn't change anything about our decision but it's something at least. We took a gamble and lost. We'll just have to try again.

    "I'm always thinking one step ahead. Like a carpenter that makes stairs"

  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from Trouble30. Show Trouble30's posts


    Hi Ladies,

    I haven't posted for a long time and have only lurked a handful of times in the past few months.  Northern, I'm so sorry you have to make this heartbreaking decision.  I also had to make such a decision this past June.  At our 12 week scan they discovered many physical malformations.  These were the result of a condition called trisomy 13, and it was very unusual that I didn't miscarry as this condition is incompatible with life.  Even though it was a very black and white diagnosis, the decision to terminate a much wanted pregnancy was devistating.  All of my doctors and counselors were so supportive, I do not know how I would have gotten through it without them.  Those first few weeks after diagnosis and termination were very difficult, but it was the best decision for the baby, myself and my family.  I could not bear to carry a baby who would struggle and die, and I didn't want to put my older children (2yo and 3yo) through that either.  They both never knew I was pregnant and don't need to learn about death just yet.

    DH and I knew that our family still wasn't complete and we decided to try again.  I'm currently 6 weeks pregnant.  I'm very hopeful that this is a healthy pregnancy.  My genetics counselor has told me that my risk is the same as the general population and does not increase since I had a previous trisomy pregnancy.

    Northern: PM me if you want to talk to someone who has been through it.  I also can recommend the counselor I used who specializes in termination for medical reasons.

    I hope everyone else is well.

  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts


    Trouble... I have been thinking of you!  Thank you for coming back on and sharing your story.  I am so sorry about the test results and the decision you and your DH were forced with.  I think many of us would have done the exact same thing.  I am thrilled that you were able to conceive again so soon... and will absolutely keep you in my thoughts as this little one grows and hopefully becomes your healthy 3rd child!

    Northern... just want to say again, my heart goes out to you.  You have been a real trooper through this ordeal and all the waiting for the results.  Without knowing the illness like you do, I'm sure you are doing the right thing.  And I hope you are able to try again with the help of the doctors and IVF/pre-screening this November, or whenever your body is healed.

  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from jennifyr78. Show jennifyr78's posts


    Ugh, I'm so sorry Northern and Trouble!  I'm sitting here teary-eyed at work.  While I had a miscarriage before DD, it was at 6-7 weeks, and it wasn't a decision I had to make.  I can't even imagine having to make the decision to terminate 12 weeks or later into the pregnancy.  I would probably make the same decision, but I know it would be very difficult. 

    Now, it appears I may be in the same boat I was in before.  I started spotting last night and it's gotten heavier and darker today.  Still not like a period, but I'm not sure I would call it "spotting" anymore.  I don't even want to call the doctor because they'll just tell me to come in for an exam, but I already have an ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow.  Rather than leave work early two days in a row, I'd rather wait for the scheduled appointment tomorrow when DH will be with me - good news or bad. 

    I know spotting can be common, but given what we know and the possible issue with timing (the U/S last week showed a 6-week size, but based on my last period, we thought we were 10 weeks along), I have a feeling the baby is not viable.  Whether I got pregnant 11 weeks ago and it just stopped growing at around 6 weeks, or if our timing was off and I was actually 6 weeks pregnant at the appointment last week, I think it's over now.  I just hope I don't have to do another D&C.  I'll let you all know the final outcome, but I have a feeling I'll be jumping over to the TTC boards.  Cry

    Congrats, Trouble on your recent news, and sticky (and healthy) thoughts to you!

  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from thistleflower. Show thistleflower's posts


    Ugh, Jenn, I'm so sorry to hear that :(  I'll keep thinking good thoughts for the appointment tomorrow.  

    Northern, I'm so sorry for your bad news, too.  

    And Trouble, I'm so sorry for your loss--but congratulations on the new pregnancy!  

  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from AlmostHere08. Show AlmostHere08's posts


    Northern - I'm so sorry for your disappointing news. I can't even imagine having to make the decision you and DH have to make.

    Trouble - I'm sorry you had to go through and make the decision you had to make as well. Congrats to a happy and healthy nine months.

    Jennifyr - I hope the spotting ends up being nothing to worry about and you get good news tomorrow.

    My thoughts and prayers to you all.

  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts


    Northern... I am so sorry that you have to go through this.  Not much to say, except that my heart just goes out to you and I am wishing you strength as you go forward.

    and Trouble, my heart aches for you as well, and I will be thinking of you now.

    Jennifyr, hope all is well today.

  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts


    Hello ladies,
    Just here to vent a bit.  Spent the weekend with my parents so we coulg go to the Fryeburg Fair up north.  (DS did awesome, listened and was so well behaved; thank goodness as my parents are so NOT "kid people.")  But anyways... my mom sees me Friday night and says "Wow are you FAT!"  Gee, thanks mom.  That's such a nice adjective.  How about big, or even large perhaps.  Then Saturday night as we are all winding down, she starts in again.  "Just can't believe how big you are.  You should just try to deliver now.  I'm sure baby is fine"  Uhm... I'm 33 weeks.  I told her his lungs aren't even ready yet and she was like "no... that can't be...look how big you are."  So she jokes I should start eating slim fast so he stops growing.  Ok, I'm 5'1 and have no torso (part of the reason my b00bs have always looked so big).  So while yes, I am measuring big... at 32 week doctor's appt I was measuring 34 weeks (belly measurement).  Exactly the same as with DS.  2 weeks ahead... not 8 weeks ahead.  Yes, I definitely look large because my belly just goes straight out.  And yes, while shopping last week I definitely had some stares from people nervous that I may just pop right there.  But do I really need my own family adding to the insults. (Yes, Dad used the same three letter word starting with a F as well to describe my girth).  So frustrated.  I was the bu!t of jokes last weekend too with my BILs who just couldn't fathom how big I was. 

    I could not be less comfortable.  I waddle and I have a contraction with anything I do that has any ounce of exhertion.  But... whoever said we do this so we can be comfortable. 

    Anyways... just needed to vent.  So glad I'm never doing this again (but still very excited to meet #2, and glad he was a surprise in our lives!)

  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts


    That is just plain mean, IPW, so sorry.  I can't imagine referring to a pregnant belly as "fat" - it's wrong for so many reasons.

    I still maintain your contractions do not sound like typical BH, and I'm surprised you are not on bed rest - trust your doc, obviously, but I'd hate for you to go into labor because they said not to worry about it if some concern was actually called for.


    Discretion is the better part of valor.

  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts


    Thanks Kar.  And thanks for the concern.  When I say "with any ounce of exhertion" I am probably over-exagerating.  If I vacuum... no biggie.  If I attend a country fair and walk and stand on my feet for 6 hours... a fairly good size contraction once I finally sit down.  And when it happened a few weeks ago for a couple days straight, it was after I flew to NYC for the day, stood on my feet for a 4 hour event, and flew home that same day.  So I should probably just stop doing those kinds of things (I have no more travel like that scheduled... and actually only two more days of meetings where I need to drive into the city).  It would be hard for me to justify putting myself on bedrest with a 3 year old :-)  But I hear your point, and am trying to be much more aware of my body, and when I need to slow down.

  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts


    Ah, ok, that makes me feel better. :)  Yes, definitely avoid overdoing given your propensity for it to cause a contraction, though - that's really not average.  I understand, my BFF's DD was 2 yo when she was pregnant with the triplets - bedrest?  Yeah.

    Discretion is the better part of valor.
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from jennifyr78. Show jennifyr78's posts


    IPW - that's so not appropriate!  Personally, I would have said something if it were my mother, but I'm not sure what your relationship is like. 

    It was bad news for me on Friday - no growth since 10 days prior, so I was "diagnosed with a non-viable pregnancy".  Yes, I actually got a piece of paper that said that. 

    They gave me Misoprostil to accelerate the miscarriage, along with oxycodone and ibuprofren for the pain.  It was not fun.  I took it Saturday night and spent Sunday from 4am to 4pm with cramps and heavy, clotted bleeding. 

    But, it's over now, save for a follow-up ultrasound this Friday to be sure that everything is gone. I think the doctor and midwife we spoke with at the hospital were surprised by how "easy" we took the news.  But, as I said on here, we were already expecting the worst, so we didn't get too emotional about it at the hospital.  We've only told one of our couple friends so far.  Not sure if we will tell our parents our not.  DH's mom was just diagnosed with breast cancer, and I am accompanying her to her appointment with her treatment team on Thursday (also at MGH).  Everyone's got so  much to worry about right now, I don't want to add to their stress.  My mom is in California and it's difficult to deliver news like that over the phone.  I did it the first time, but she was so upset for me.  I'm just not sure I want to deal with that.   

    I'll be looking forward to getting my next AF so we can then start trying again after that.  They said our risk for another M/C was slightly higher, since we've now had two, but we also had a happy, healthy baby in between them, so I'm not going to panic just yet.  Good luck everyone, and hopefully October brings more good news.  I feel like this September thread has been a bit of a downer toward the end.  You all should start fresh with a new discussion on a positive note! 


  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts


    So sorry Northern and Jenn for your unimaginable losses.

    Discretion is the better part of valor.
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from NorthernLghts. Show NorthernLghts's posts


    We couldn't do it- We couldn't go through with a termination. There were too many unknowns with how it could present. Not to mention, evil insurance said we'd have to start our year over again, but really, that was just a very, very small part of it. Baby girl will be here in March.

    "I'm always thinking one step ahead. Like a carpenter that makes stairs"