April TTC

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from Daisy75. Show Daisy75's posts

    Re: April TTC

    For someone who doesn't care, you seem to have an awful lot to say about it.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: April TTC

    Ah yes, Kar and I post something that disagrees w/ what someone else posted. It was only a matter of time before Daisy showed up to call us out on it.  
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: April TTC

    Am, I think asking why you would need to tell a child about donor eggs when they are under school age is a valid thing. Unless a child asks, there is no need to volunteer that information at such a young age.  I don't think a child that small will understand 'donor eggs'. If some licensed professional has told you differently, great. But I think keeping it vague like 'you came from mommy's tummy' or 'we had a nice doctor help us' rather than using terms like IVF, donor eggs, sperm, etc would be the sensible way to go. I'm not saying keep the kid in the dark and then saying 'surprise!' on their 12th birthday, but I just don't see why a little tiny child needs to know specific medical terms. 
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from Daisy75. Show Daisy75's posts

    Re: April TTC

    It's not so much that you disagree with someone else, it's that when the issue doesn't actually concern you and you can't just let it go and accept that there are opinions other than yours on a particular topic and continue to harp on it when most other people have moved on (or would like to move on) to other things.

    It's ok not to have the final word sometimes, and it's ok if other people don't have your opinion.  Really, I promise.  Build a bridge and get over it.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: April TTC

    I like the idea of withholding all difficult or confusing information until the kid's 5th birthday. Worst birthday ever.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from luckinlife. Show luckinlife's posts

    Re: April TTC

    I have never once posted that I am worried.  Believe me, Alf, I understand there are other things to worry about.  You are talking to someone who certainly understands that this is a good problem to have, not a burden.

    Never once did I talk about giving specific medical terms and even if we choose to do so, so be it.  

    I don't care if you, Kar or anyone else disagrees.  Anyone has a right to say what they want.  I certainly am not going to be pursuaded that what I feel is wrong.   As a matter of fact, I wrote maybe we can just agree to disagree.  I never solicited advice on this.  I tried to give some advice to the original poster since I myself, am in the exact position.   I don't mind receiving advice at all either but don't think that I am fretting about 1) what I am going to do or 2) what others want me to do.

    As I said before, this is a situation that I am so very grateful to be in. I am confident my husband and I are going to do the right thing for our little one.  The donor issue is complicated for people and I feel that things do need to be talked about so that people who are going through the same thing can know there is support!
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: April TTC

    For the record, I wasn't disagreeing with anyone.  All I was saying is that information without context is not actually informative from the recipient's perspective.  You can tell them you used an egg donor at any age, but if you want them to understand anything about what you're trying to say there has to be some discussion about how babies are made.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: April TTC

    It's not so much that you disagree with someone else, it's that when the issue doesn't actually concern you and you can't just let it go and accept that there are opinions other than yours on a particular topic and continue to harp on it when most other people have moved on (or would like to move on) to other things.

    Pot, meet kettle. 

    Also, as for something that 'doesn't concern me', if you go back to page 4 of this thread and read one of TC's posts, she specifically asked me whether my 2 nieces, who were conceived using donor eggs, knew if they were conceived this way.  So the entire discussion about who is told what and when re donor eggs did in fact start w/ a question to me. It didn't just involve lil's situation. 
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: April TTC

    lil, I have no beef w/ you. I happen to agree exactly w/ your last post.  I don't see the need for it, but whatever; you do see the need for it, but whatever.  You at least can just shrug and say, eh, unlike others.  FWIW, my prior post wasn't directed at you. It was just an observation, and more directed at what Kar was saying. 
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from Antimony79. Show Antimony79's posts

    Re: April TTC

    Kar and ALF-  Why are you guys harping on this, you really do just need to get the last word in huh??  I've been biting my tongue since I don't post on here often, but this is ridiculous!  Say your piece and be done with it, we got it the first time you expressed your opinion, no need to beat a dead horse.  You are both coming across as super judgemental whether you realize it or not.  I read the boards pretty much everyday and it seems you both always like to argue something and you just will not drop it.  I swear if I have to see Alf post one more time about "oh just relax, stop temping and have fun, you will get pregnant!!"  I'm going to barf.  For woman going through infertility I think that method is an exception to the rule...

    LIL-  I think you are making a great decision, and I feel the same way as all the other girls on here who have expressed support for your method of telling your child.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: April TTC

    Because no one can even agree that information without context is not informative?  How can that be disagreed with?  It just seems like people disagree with me for entertainment and fun, and it's hurtful.  I "harp" because I trying to confirm that that's not actually the case - to see if SOMEONE might say that they at least see my point.  But, forget it.  If everything I say is unwelcome, so be it.  I can accept that.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from tc95. Show tc95's posts

    Re: April TTC

    Oh my goodness, I'm starting to regret asking about donor egg/when to tell the child to begin with. The great thing about this board is that you get all kinds of perspectives. I don't agree with them all but I don't have to and if I didn't want to hear different points of view, I never would have asked the question.  I hope we're all lucky enough to eventually be mothers and I'm guessing we won't raise our kids exactly the same way, but a little mutual respect goes a long way.

    Ooh- one hour to Modern Family.  Anyone else love that show?  (yes, trying to lighten the mood a bit...)
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from tomarra. Show tomarra's posts

    Re: April TTC

    I so love the show...I'm in the mood for a cupcake now!

    Good night!Wink
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: April TTC

    LIL I think your LO's first words should be "donor egg." That would be awesome!
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from Antimony79. Show Antimony79's posts

    Re: April TTC

    Because no one can even agree that information without context is not informative?  How can that be disagreed with?

    I do not think anyone was disagreeing with this, it seemed you were argueing that since it is information without context then it shouldn't be talked about until the context is able to be understood.  My feeling though is that we give small children (regardless of how they were conceived) information without context ALL THE TIME.  For instance what do most parents say when a 3-4 year old asks where they came from, usually the child is told "You came from Mommy's belly", or something along those lines, information without context.  I think parents give information without context all the time to young children because the child just can't grasp all the context. 

    I personally do not see this situation being any different.  LIL obviously has phrasing in mind to accomplish this.  I know myself personally I would want the child to have some clue about how they were conceived so that when they find out it doesn't seem like it was some big family secret, or that it should be anything they should feel embarrasssed or ashamed about.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: April TTC

    I swear if I have to see Alf post one more time about "oh just relax, stop temping and have fun, you will get pregnant!!"  I'm going to barf.  For woman going through infertility I think that method is an exception to the rule.

    Seriously?  I have been struggling w/ infertility for close to THREE years at this point.  My current method of just relaxing is not only an acceptable method of getting pg, it's something that, for me, has kept me freaking sane.  I love how some of you preach 'everyone doesn't have to agree' etc, but if someone posts something that YOU personally don't agree w/, they are wrong and it's open season.  My posts about donor eggs or anything else is usually discussing something in the abstract - I don't call anyone out.  Had I said "gee, lil makes me sick wanting to tell her kid about donor eggs' OMG the crapstorm that wouldf have ensued! People would have complained to the mods and I would most likely be banned.  But when someone that people clearly don't like [ie, me] disagrees b/c I don't cotton to some 'newfangled' ways of doing things for a number of reasons, some of them religious [but hey, it's been open season on Catholics for years so it's okay] people think it's perfectly fine to name posters by name and rake them over the coals.  But then if said poster says anything in response, well, they are just being ridiculous, overreacting, etc.

    FWIW, I don't give two farts what anyone tells their kids in the privacy of their own home. I also happen to like lil and, from her posts, think she is a reasonable person.  I'm sure her kids will be great, well adjusted and lovely people when they grow up.  However, I still have my opinions and should be able to voice them - as many times as a I want and in whatever fashion I want.  If you don't like them, well, there is always the ignore button.  
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: April TTC

    yikes
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from Antimony79. Show Antimony79's posts

    Re: April TTC

    Alf-  I will apologize because calling you out like that was not something I should have done.  I got caught up in the heat of the moment and something that had been kinda bugging me for several months, just all spilled out of my mouth.  I am glad that this method is what makes you happy and it works for you, I am not knocking that AT ALL.  In the land of infertility we all need our own "safe" approaches and zones.  I guess what had been bugging me is that it came across to me as I was reading your posts that your advice to everyone was to just relax stop temping have s*x everyday and it will happen, and that just simply is not the case for many women.  I take no issues with that being your method of approach because like I said everyone needs their own ways of going through this process, but you have just seemed pushy with telling other women to do that and it will work.  I apologize again for letting everything spill out like that, and for apparently misunderstanding what you have been writing about.  I've been struggling with infertility related issues for 9.5 years now and I know this can be a sensitive subject for everyone.  Again, I apologize...
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: April TTC

    I accept your apology.

    If I were sitting here w/ 3 kids on my knee after effortlessly getting pg, I could understand where 'oh, just have a few glasses of wine and see what happens' could PO people, but that's not the case.  I am not trying to be pushy telling people to just relax. I was suggesting it from a been there/done that perspective. I've done the temping for several years, had an HSG, vaginal ultrasound, regular ultrasound, blood tests up the wazoo, pee test, POAS test, ovulation test, etc -basically if there was a test to be performed, I had it done.  That was my life for 1.5 years [.5 years was trying the regular way b/c they won't test you till then].  I'm ovulating and my DH's SA is normal so there is no explanation the drs can give us. 

    Then they put me on BC for 2 months to 'restart me' and we moved out of state. My thermometer died during the move and I got pg that first month w/o trying.  I lost the twins at 9 weeks on Feb 15.  And AF arrived yesterday.  I can't deal w/ anymore tests and I will not do drug therapy or IVF for a variety of reasons. If they work for other people great, but just rolling the dice is what works for me right now. 
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from luckinlife. Show luckinlife's posts

    Re: April TTC

    Infertility s*ucks!  I think that would pretty much wraps it up.
    I so get your emotional response Ant but think it was great to apologize and get Alf's point.

    We are all struggling.  Everyone has their own methods of coping and I appreciate everyone of you on these boards over the past years!
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from Prill. Show Prill's posts

    Re: April TTC

    Well I have been somewhat obsessive this month and have become one of those people who takes every little sign to mean I must be pregnant.  Massive break out - obviously I'm pregnant!  (TMI coming up) Clear, watery discharge - h*ll yeah! Headache - absolutely! Vivid dreams - clearly I'm up the duff!

    Assuming I have a 28 day cycle this month, AF is due Monday, so I will try to keep thinking positive thoughts until then... and will try to keep my head up if/when it arrives on Monday (or whenever it chooses to rear its ugly head!).
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from flaxen. Show flaxen's posts

    Re: April TTC

    Good luck, Prill.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: April TTC

    I will cross my fingers for you Prill!

    Our next round of obsessive BDing starts this weekend.  DH has promised not to claim fatigue so many times this month.  I'm feeling pretty upbeat, which is a great thing since I tend to be very pessimistic.  Originally we wanted to avoid having a February baby because my estranged sister, the she-devil, has a bday in February.  Now that just seems silly; I couldn't possibly hold off for several weeks just because of that maniac.
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from Scorpio75. Show Scorpio75's posts

    Re: April TTC

    Fram I had similar thoughts, I don't want a winter baby because I generally felt kind of shafted with my birthday in mid November.  Then I realized I want a baby and who cares when the birthday is December, January whatever, I just want one (ok really two but I figured I would start with oneWink)

     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: April TTC

    Scorpio -- our daughter has the worst birthday -- January 2. Everyone has a triple holiday hangover and is sick of celebrating. BUT if you are pregnant during the holidays you can devour everything in sight and nobody says a word about it, AND you don't have to travel to your in-laws houses because "it could happen any minute!" You get out of the next round of holidays at your in-laws' too, because it's baby's-first-whatever. We haven't figured out a way to stretch it to the second birthday yet, but I'm sure we'll come up with something. Maybe that having the first two Christmases at home created a tradition. As for the birthdate's effect on our daughter's quality of life -- I think she probably benefits because we heap the presents on at Easter out of guilt for having her at the wrong time of year.
     
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