Re: April TTC
posted at 4/12/2012 5:54 PM EDT
In Response to Re: April TTC
[QUOTE]. ALF - I hear what you're saying about you might try everything and not get pregnant. I get that. Like SS was saying though, DH and I will have children some day somehow, be it ART, adoption, etc. If it was up to me, I'd take this diagnosis, shrug my shoulders and book an extra long vacation to Europe, but it's not just up to me and DH needs to be a dad. I hate the idea of fertility treatments (including Clomid, if we're being honest) and the idea of opening ourselves up to the adoption process, so if I can do anything in the 6 months or so that I have before my new health insurance starts, I want to do it.
Posted by Chiclet831[/QUOTE]
You misunderstand me. TTC and being a parent are 2 different things. I am not saying 'well, if you can't get pg just suck it up and deal'. I am saying that you [the plural you, not you in particular] may be in the group of people who, no matter what they do and no matter what fertility treatment they try, cannot get pg or give birth to a live baby. IF you fall into that category, it does not mean you've done something wrong or have failed somehow. I hope you don't fall into that category and that whatever treatments you decide to try work and you get pg and give birth to a healthy baby.
I just find it very disenheartening to see post after post of people asking, well, should I try this? Do you think this will increase my odds? What if I cut out X? What if I add Y? I agree w/ what luck said - don't unnecessarily deprive yourself of things you enjoy b/c it 'might' up your odds of getting pg. If you feel that you must do something or refrain from doing something b/c it will help you sleep at night or feel like you have some control over the TTC world, that's great. But in the end, we don't have control over it and sometimes we don't get the result we want. That is not a personal failing nor does it mean that you did something wrong or didn't try hard enough. It also need not prevent you from becoming a parent. There are many different ways to become a parent other than by conceiving and giving birth. So apples to oranges there. I was talking only about the TTC process.
And there is a huge difference between a need and a want. I don't think you posted that but no one 'needs' to become a parent. They may want to very very much, but that is not a 'need' in the true sense of the word. Are some people more willing to try more options than others in pursuing their desire for a child? Yes, but their desire to have a child is not any more great than someone else who decides to accept their physical limitations and not pursue other options - to say otherwise is to imply that unless you are willing to turn over every stone, you must not really want a child, and that's just not the case.