How did you know

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from jenv1230. Show jenv1230's posts

    How did you know

    How did you know when it was the right time to try? I have only been married for 6 months, but we are almost 29 years old. I know that's not old, but I don't want to wait too much longer. My head says that we should wait another year, but my heart says that we are ready. Did anyone else go through this?

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: How did you know

    I think every reasonable person goes through this struggle.  If you're nuts so is everyone else...and then isn't it just normal? :)
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from Prill. Show Prill's posts

    Re: How did you know

    There is never going to be a time that is perfect for anyone.  If it is your head saying hold off a while because you are currently in a very bad situation (financially or otherwise) then maybe do wait a few months - but if your heart and body are saying go for it, then there's no reason not to.
    If nothing else, be sure to enjoy your time alone together as newlyweds - as no matter what you do, you never get this time back.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from austengirl. Show austengirl's posts

    Re: How did you know

    I am going through the same thoughts but have decided that it is time to start trying - I too am 29.  We have been married for 1 yr 9mo and my dh was ready 9 mo ago but I wanted to get closer to finishing my MBA - I am not quite done yet but figure close enough that we will figure it out as life goes on.  I am quickly realizing there will never be that "perfect" time.  Talk with your dh - I recommend a couple times - before making the decision then go with what the two of you are most comfortable with.  I recommend the couple conversations because if you are of differing opinions or there is an obstacle you may need to sleep on the different ideas to come up with the best solution.
    Good Luck and keep us posted on your decision.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from Notanewbie. Show Notanewbie's posts

    Re: How did you know

    It's definitely a difficult decision.  I'll tell you how we decided, although my situation was a bit different since my husband and I are both "older" (39 y.o.).  We started dating when we were 33 and had a long engagement, no plans for kids and no rush to marry.  At some point, we just started rethinking our position on children.  At 37 years old, we decided to roll the dice and stop using birth control and see what happened.  We weren't trying, but definitely weren't preventing anymore.  I ended up getting pregnant about 6 months after quitting BC.  Our first baby was a miscarriage, but definitely solidified our decision that we wanted to be parents.  We tried again and got pregnant about 8 months after the miscarriage and now have a wonderful 5 month old son.

    As other posters have said, there really is no perfect time.  There will always be something else you can do or want to do (one more exotic vacation, a house to buy, a job to get, more money in the bank).  I do think it's important to have time as a couple before a baby comes along, but I count dating time as well as married time.  A baby definitely changes things in your relationship.  You're no longer just a couple, you become a family.  In many ways the change is for the better; in other ways it's just...hmmm...different.  Good luck with your decision.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from 2007wedding. Show 2007wedding's posts

    Re: How did you know

    I'm around the same age and was ready to start at the end of last year. But my DH wasn't and made that very clear. I want to be a young mom, but I gave some space and soon he started to talk about starting a family and then we decided to make a plan. An upcoming vacation pushed the plans back a little, but I know and he knows that we both want to have a lot of fun on the vacation (the one last pre baby vacation maybe), so we adjusted our timeline a bit. I'm happy that we waited and didn't decide to do this when I was ready. I have had an incredible year with him, by ourselves and we have done a lot together and have had so much fun.
    As long as you are both on the same page and talk openly about it, I think that's all you can ask for. Once that happens, you'll know when the right time is because autengirl is right, there never is a perfect time.
    Good luck!!
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from likewakingup. Show likewakingup's posts

    Re: How did you know

    start making a baby!
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: How did you know

    If you are financially sound [w/in reason] and emotionally secure, then go ahead.  One thing to calculate is not how much money you have now, but how old you will be when the child starts college.  I'm 37.  I will be in my late 50s if have a child in the next few years.  Expenses grow as the child does.  Also having a child when you are younger is probably easier on both you and the child. 
     

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