Infant at the RE??!

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from CookieM. Show CookieM's posts

    Infant at the RE??!

    So, a bit of rant, for which I will apologize, but if anyone's going to understand this, it'll be you guys...

    Waiting at the RE this AM for a "return to care" appt after June's MC; this couple brings in their infant.  Maybe three months old.  All cooing, and pink in her carseat...  Now, isn't it bad enough that we've got handle all of the emotions that come baby showers, co-workers' announcements, and the babies that we already know and love?  It was a hard enough visit as it was...  Shouldn't this be the one place we get a breather?  You would figure she would know better, having been in my shoes before, for crying out loud. 

    DH was the one that actually told me that there's a sign requesting people leave their kids at home, for this very reason.  If your sitter backs out, reschedule.  Or, come to the appt alone, and leave the dad home with her.  Ugh.

    Whew.  Thanks.  Since I can't (won't) have an adult beverage for another 10-12 days (2ww), and no one else knows what we're going through, it was a help to get that out. 
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Infant at the RE??!

    I will admit that sometimes I think people who are TTC get a little carried away getting angry at the rest of the world when they see women who are pg or who have infants in tow.  However, I think you are totally justified in this instance.  I could see if the mom showed up alone w/ the kid, but the fact that the DAD was there makes this absolutely ridiculous.  There was no reason why both of them had to be there and bring the kid.  They should have rescheduled.  The receptionist should have gone over and quietly told them to leave and rescheudule once they showed up w/ the baby in tow.  
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from amy-lynn. Show amy-lynn's posts

    Re: Infant at the RE??!

    I might have my head up my rear on this, because I haven't ever had to go to an RE, but could it have been that said baby was the result of a lot of time and effort with the RE, and they were bringing in said baby to "share" the happy end result?
    It might be a faux pas, but I would think that knowing some patients had the desired outcome would be a good thing, not a bad one?
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Infant at the RE??!

    Amy, that's what photos are for. If there is a sign in the waiting room explaining why babies should not be brought in and this kid is the result of visits to an RE [since the kid is 3 mo old and the mom is at an RE, I'm guessing that any fertility problems she had were BEFORE the kid arrived], chances are mom read it while she was waiting to be treated.  I think this is one of the few instances where someone who is TTC can be legitimately angry at the presence of a baby that belongs to someone else.  I think being upset about baby showers, pg women in the world at large and the like is a bit over the top. But I'm w/ Cookie on this one.   
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from Prill. Show Prill's posts

    Re: Infant at the RE??!

    Cookie I can see how that might really s***!  I love that my specialists office appears quite sterile, with no thank you notes or photos from patients on his wall.  Similarly my acupuncturist said he had plenty of cards and photos from succesfully treated patients that he could show me if I wanted, but understood if I didn't want to look at them.

    It was definately a faux pas on the these parents part.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from CookieM. Show CookieM's posts

    Re: Infant at the RE??!

    Thanks, Alf & Prill.  

    I think you both got what I was trying to say. It wasn't so much that I was angry.  It was just one of those, "sure, go ahead and kick me while I'm down" kind of moments.  We had had a kind of tough visit, and were waiting for our nurse appt.  Shame on me for being surprised, I guess.

    I actually had a different RE before this one.  One of the things that I really like about him, (besides that he's so approachable, understanding that I want to be conservative, and that he shares his take on the research findings out there), is that there *isn't* a chaotic wall of photos of everyone else's kids.   
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Infant at the RE??!

    It was totally insensitive of them to bring an infant in for any reason.  Did they already forget the agony they went through and care nothing for others experiencing what they did?  Talk about a lack of empathy.  Sorry, Cookie. :(
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from wedoct09. Show wedoct09's posts

    Re: Infant at the RE??!

    Cookie, The same thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago while I was waiting for my IUI.  I felt the same way so I understand where you are coming from.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from Scorpio75. Show Scorpio75's posts

    Re: Infant at the RE??!

    I get it cookie, and I understand your anger and frustration at the parents.  I think the office could have handled it better, and ushered the baby and parents into an office or another room to wait out of consideration of the other patients.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from stefani2. Show stefani2's posts

    Re: Infant at the RE??!

    just another perspective - i saw a woman with an infant during my IUI (can you imagine - having your kid in the room during your IUI haha)... so the person you saw may have gone through everything you're going through with happy results and is back for #2 now - just a thought.  i am with you - it is HARD to see people with babies (or even PG) when you're trying so hard to have one yourself.  but, try not to take the infant as an affront - hopefully the person was just desperate to get to the RE and didn't have a sitter (versus someone who was willingly there to brag, which would stink, and also be kind of psycho right?!).  :)
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Infant at the RE??!

    Would they even do an IUI on a woman who had a baby 3 or even 6 months earlier? 
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from Daisy75. Show Daisy75's posts

    Re: Infant at the RE??!

    I think the official recommendation from family planning groups and WIC is to wait 18 months b/c they say that's how long it takes your body to completely heal from pregnancy and childbirth.  Nonetheless, many people don't wait that long and Irish twins (siblings <1 year apart) do happen.  I think most REs have the perspective that it's not up to them to decide when it's right for their clients to have another. 
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from Quigley1. Show Quigley1's posts

    Re: Infant at the RE??!

    I have been guilty of that, but knew it would be uncomfortable for others and tried to keep the baby out of sight.  The baby was a foster child (3 weeks) when we were attempting our 2nd IVF after the first ended in a mc.  Clearly the cycle was started before the child was even born!  My partner did not stay with me during the retrieval but I still needed a ride home.  When we did the transfer I went alone.  Not what we wanted but done out of respect for the other clients.

    Stefani- I can imagine having a child in the room during an iui.  My son was with us during the iui that produced his sister.  We tease him still about the "sperm dance" we had him doing to keep him entertained and quiet.  Making love and technological reproduction are two very different things.  I think it is good for kids to know how things work (or don't!) from a young age.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from rhm327. Show rhm327's posts

    Re: Infant at the RE??!

    I can tell you that after all I have gone through to have my ds (3 failed IUI's and 2 failed IVF's with us starting the process of donor egg and then getting a very surprising BFP on our own), I am already back at the RE. My son is 6 months old, but I am now 40 with diminished ovarian reserve and we really want a sibling for him. The RE totally understands. We are doing our tests now and hoping to try an IVF in the next month or so. Yes, it feels really soon, but we know it's now or never. We are also aware that this process could take months - there are no guarantees that a BFP would happen anytime soon, if at all. We would try to put ds in daycare the days of the ER and ET (days that we would both need to be there), but if that doesn't work, we may need to bring him along since we're not telling our families.
    Cookie, I know it's hard to see lo's at the RE, but know that they are there because of their own personal struggles.

     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Infant at the RE??!

    Cookie, I think the thing to do is to mention it to your doctor. Either do it in person or in writing.  I'd remind them that they put the policy in place for a reason, and ask that patients all get a copy of the policy w/ all the other paperwork they get when they first become a patient, and that the receptionist/nurses quitely enforce the policy if someone walks into the waiting room with a child or infant.  This can be done either by putting the mom and baby in a vacant exam room or, if they are busy and there is no open exam room, by asking them to reschedule when they can make appropriate child care appointments.

    If this place did not have a policy in place re this, I would say just vent away but don't do anything else. However, this place has a policy in place, and asking that they enforce it, to me, seems perfectly reasonable. GL. 

    ETA: I had an allergist in NH that had a policy where you could only have 1 person w/ you in the waiting room at any time.  They also did not allow children to come w/ the parents if the child was not the one w/ the appointement.  My PCP in ME and in now in DC is the same way. You cannot bring a child to a regular dr appt where YOU are the patient. I don't understand why it's any different b/c it's a dr who specializes in fertility. 
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from half-full. Show half-full's posts

    Re: Infant at the RE??!

    Cookie - An infant at the RE's office is rough.  I completely understand and sympathize with your reaction.  I had to walk past a "prepared childbirth class" the day my second cycle was cancelled.  It felt a bit like being punched in the gut.  Good luck this cycle.

    Amy-When I received my BFP with help of my awesome RE and staff, they made a very clear point of saying that they loved birth announcements and PICTURES.  
     
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