January TTC

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from SSBride09. Show SSBride09's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Congrats Cici!  Hope your just the first of a lot of good news in 2012!

    I'm so excited we are finally officially trying this month!  We had to "not" try the last two months to avoid due dates near important weddings next year.  It kind of worked out anyway since I just finally feel like my cycle has stabilized even though I've been off the pill since Oct.... but it was really hard not to just give it go.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: January TTC

    SS, word to the wise, I'd not avoid months just because of dates 9 months later.  It might be harder than you think to conceive (the average for a healthy woman in her 20s is a year), and the older you get the less likely it will be, statistically speaking.  You won't want to look back and say you wish you had seized every opportunity after deciding you want to try to have kids.

    ETA:  That being said, best wishes and good luck!  Maybe it will happen for you as soon as you give it your best shot.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from rama8677. Show rama8677's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Is that true, that the average time to conceive for a healthy woman in her 20s is a year??  Wow!!  I had no idea.  Is that mid-to-upper twenties at least?  Seems really long for *average*, doesn't it? Makes me laugh at myself all those years of diligent birth control use...but I suppose that's the responsible thing to do when you aren't ready to be a parent.  SS - I also had to take a break from TTC for a month to avoid having a baby the same time as my brother's wedding and it was a great time to refocus and get psyched for the next attempt.  GL this month, hope you get a bfp and can attend those important weddings pregnant later this year!

    WPP - Sorry about your newly developed allergies/pre-cold.  I am wondering if it's related to your going off the pill? I developed a cold just after getting my BFP and it still hasn't gone away (I'm 9 weeks pg).  My OB told me stuffiness is a common side effect of pregnancy called rhynitis, which develops due to dramatic fluctuations in hormone levels which can increase mucous production. Wondering if your cold could be semi-related - ie your hormonal shifts caused by going of the pill could be causing increased mucous making you feel stuffed up?  Just a theory!  GL this month.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from siena09. Show siena09's posts

    Re: January TTC

    I don't think 1 year is truly the average for healthy women in their late 20s or early 30s.  This is from the journal called Human Reproduction and was written about German women, but it is roughly in line with estimates I have read from other sources.  Most of their sample was between 26-30 years old. 
    They found that 68% of women who were trying to conceive using natural family planning (taking BBT and checking CM) to time intercourse were pregnant within 3 cycles; 81% within 6 cycles.  I know the distribution is asymetrical so the mean is greater than the median, but the median is around 2-3 cycles in their data, so the mean is almost surely less than a year.

    Another study cited in the article found that 60% of women who were not necessarily using natural family planning methods conceived within 6 months.  So those odds might be closer to what the general population experiences, but the median would still be under 6 months.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Successful TTC is estimated at 1 year for healthy woman under the age of 35. That is why they make you try for a year w/o getting pg before they will refer you to an RE.  Does it really matter if, statistically, it's exactly 12 months or 6.75 months?????!!!

    Don't put your TTC plans on hold b/c of other people's life events b/c you think you will magically be able to get pg quickly.  You may. But you may not. The point is, life does not go exactly as planned and not TTC for 6 months so that you can wear a particular BM dress in a wedding or drink at a wedding is a silly reason to put off TTC. If you want to wait before TTC, that's fine, but don't hold off so you can attend a wedding w/o care b/c some article says that you can get pg w/in 6 months based on your age and health conditions. 

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: January TTC

    WPP, it's normal to develop allergies as you get older. I never had allergies as a kid.  I now have rhinitis, seasonal allergies and sinusitis along w/ tinnitus.  Good times!.  I moved from the burbs to the city to the country to the city, and have had varying allergies and problems ever since I hit 32.  lol. 
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from siena09. Show siena09's posts

    Re: January TTC

    In Response to Re: January TTC:
    [QUOTE]Successful TTC is estimated at 1 year for healthy woman under the age of 35. That is why they make you try for a year w/o getting pg before they will refer you to an RE.  Does it really matter if, statistically, it's exactly 12 months or 6.75 months?????!!! Don't put your TTC plans on hold b/c of other people's life events b/c you think you will magically be able to get pg quickly.  You may. But you may not.
    Posted by ALF72[/QUOTE]

    ALF that wasn't really my point, and obviously there is a huge amount of variation in individual's experiences.  But anyway, I still think the numbers are interesting and they do inform my expectations. If the AVERAGE time to TTC was truly 1 year, then it would be kind of ridiculous to pursue infertility workups after 1 year, unless a HUGE fraction of women were truly infertile.  More likely, docs would recommend longer periods of trying if the average were 1 year. So as a woman TTC, knowing the average is 6 mos vs 1 year is informative for me understanding why there is the rec of waiting 1 year before looking into a medical workup for infertility.

    I wasn't trying to say that the previous poster should or should not try to plan pregnancy around the weddings she wanted to attend.  For me, I think the only extent that I might try to plan around a wedding is to avoid having an EDD in the same month as the wedding of a sibling (so I wouldn't have to miss an out-of-state wedding). But my siblings are not engaged so this is a pure hypothetical.  I think your tone was needlessly judgmental here though, since you don't know the OP's circumstances or reasons.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Actually, I should have said a year is how long most doctors recommend a healthy woman in her 20s tries to get pregnant before seeing if there's a problem.  I shouldn't have said it's the average time to get pg - I don't know what that is.  Sorry for misspeaking.

    However, my original point stands.  I tried for 3 years, had one pregnancy and no kids.  We thought it would be easier.  If I'd skipped months purposely just to attend events here and there I'd be pretty sad now that I'm 40 and didn't get pregnant - I'd always wonder if the weddings caused "our months" to get pregnant to go by.  That's all I'm sayin'.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from rama8677. Show rama8677's posts

    Re: January TTC

    While not the poster who originally brought up the issue of delaying TTC, I mentioned in passing that I skipped a month to avoid having my EDD near my brother's wedding.  I totally see the point that you are trying to make Kar, and I think it's valid. However, I think both your and Alf's statements were a bit harsh in light of the fact that the original poster had already taken time off from TTC and, therefore, her decision to do so can't be changed.  So, perhaps a better, more sensitive way of phrasing the advice would have been to say: "For those who are thinking of holding off on TTC, please bear in mind that you may have immense difficulty achieving and sustaining pregnancy and please consider how you will feel about your decision to skip a prime month or two if you don't ultimately end up having a child in the end."  As opposed to: "What you did was silly and you shouldn't have done that."

    For me, my decision to stop TTC for a month was a very tough one; I weighed it over and over in my head and discussed with DH at length.  My brother was getting married, I'm very close with him, and having a baby that month would have meant I effectively would have had to miss his wedding.  To be clear, it had nothing to do with fitting into a dress or drinking. In the end, my decision came down to me choosing the existing, loving, lifelong and immensely important relationship I had with my brother over the possibility of having a child that month.  Did I risk that I would never get pg and never have a child and always blame myself for skipping that one month? Of course.  But I weighed out which would make me feel worse and took the gamble.  It worked out for me (my DD was born a few months after that wedding), but I was fully aware that it might not have, and prepared to live with the consequences. 
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from SSBride09. Show SSBride09's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Wow, I'm glad my post generated such interesting conversation. 

    So to elaborate on my situation, the wedding I was primarily trying to time around is my sister in laws.  I and even more so my husband didn't want to miss or overshadow her day by having a due date within 2 weeks of her wedding, so we held off for the first two months we really could have tried.  Before that we waited because we bought a fixer upper house and I was involved with major construction and didn't think breathing in construction debris constantly would be good for a pregnancy.... so here we are a bit over a year into marriage and just starting to try.  After reading all the scary stats I didn't know about until I started looking into this a few months ago, do I wish we had started earlier?  Definitely!  But hopefully I didn't miss my only windows.  Fingers crossed.

    I'm 30 now so to think that the AVERAGE would be a year in your 20s is scary.  I think, or at least hope, Siena's numbers are more likely.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from cicirose. Show cicirose's posts

    Re: January TTC

    I can see Kar & Alf's point but I do agree that it does not pertain to everyone. According to the statistics, if you are young, healthy, with no known problems, you will most likely conceive within a reasonable time. Otherwise, if there are problems, they probably would've been there even if you started a month or two earlier. I can see why someone that is 35+ and really anxious to have a baby would find ttc to be a higher priority than attending a wedding but I don't think it should be that way for everyone.

    I know it may seem that this opinion is coming from someone that seemingly does not have major problems with ttc, but I should note that I have been off the pill and not preventing for a year now. Due to some medical issues, I fully expected to never get a single bfp on my own, but we still decided to wait almost a full year after the wedding to stop bcp. At that time, other things had a higher priority than babies.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from cicirose. Show cicirose's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Also - good luck to WPP, Chiclet, & SS!!!

    And thanks again everyone for the good wishes! So far the line on the strips has been getting darker and tomorrow I will try with a "real" test. I'm a little nervous though because I've been kind of crampy today but luckily no spotting so far!
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from lizinboston. Show lizinboston's posts

    Re: January TTC

    I went off the pill in the beginning of October, and got my period about 3-4 days after stopping it. I then got pregnant late October/early November, so I never got my first period off b/c. It can happen and I was shocked when it did. I kept waiting for my first period to come, and it never did.

    I heard that about most babies being born in September. I think it has to do with a lot of couples starting to try at the new year! Yay! Good luck, everyone :)

     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Sorry, but I stand by my post.

    I started TTC when young and healthy and miscarried twins. Haven't gotten pg yet again and am looking 40 in the face.  DH is deploying in 6 months and I will not continue TTC after 40 or use medical intervention for pg for a variety of reasons.  I stopped TTC 2x b/c I had mammograms come back w/ abnormalities, went for further testing and then went on BCP for 6 months both times so they could do 6 month follow up w/o having to worry about me getting pg and then possibly having breast cancer.  According to all stats, I should have had no problems getting pg and should have at least 1 kid by now. I have none.  So putting TTC on hold for anything other than a medical issue, IMO and experience, is not a good idea.  If you take offense to that, that's unfortunate. 

    Do I wonder what would have happened by now if I had not gone on BCP 2x in my mid 30s so they could do a 'wait and see' for mammograms? Yes, particularly since I thought they were being overly cautious - I had no family history of breast cancer so there was no real need for me to have early mammo screening; but for the fact that my insurance covered it, they probably otherwise would not have run the mammos.  The most ironic part is that the end diagnosis is that I have simply have dense breasts BECAUSE I am young and that denseness shows up as a darkness which can signal either denseness or a problem.  But what's done is done. They tell me that I am healthy and have no medical issues which should prevent me getting pg - but they told me that since day 1.  Clearly, there is something, but at this point, it's probably age.  Hopefully you will have no issues w/ getting pg if you take a break.

    I agree that being afraid that you may not be able to fly to attend a very distant wedding may be a legitimate reason to hold off for a few months or 'take a break'.  But if you are afraid of 'overshadowing' someone's wedding, don't be. Happiness is not a zero sum game. Can there really be too much happiness or good news at a single event.  Then again, my sister and I got married w/in 11 weeks of each other and neither was concerned about 'stealing thunder' or people not being as happy for one as the other b/c of the closeness in time. We even had our weddings and receptions in the same church and reception venue!  Everyone was as happy at one as the other. If anyone had been pg at the same  time, it would have just added to the happiness, not overshadowed it. 
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Of course, they can't be changed, now.  But, if it becomes a habit to say, gosh, we can't this month because xyz is happening in 9 months it could lead to regret.  That's all I'm saying.  If that's too harsh an idea, what are we all doing here?  We can't voice our concern for each other?
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from siena09. Show siena09's posts

    Re: January TTC

    kar--I didn't think your initial post was harsh at all. I only replied to it once rama seemed genuinely curious about the statistics. 

    I thought that Alf's post was written with a tone that was sort of condescending and counterproductive.  Of course wanting to drink or wear a dress at a wedding is a stupid reason to put off TTC.  But I felt that Alf sort of jumped to conclusions and made it sound like there was no possible way that waiting could be a reasonable decision, when it might indeed have been the right decision for the OP.  

    I agree that we need to share our different perspectives, because otherwise there'd not be much point in posting here at all!  :)

     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from SSBride09. Show SSBride09's posts

    Re: January TTC

    I'm not offended by any of the opinions posted.  I honestly don't regret making the decision I made to wait two months... but maybe I'll feel differently if things don't work out down the road and will be sharing the same advice.  But since we're just starting our TTC journey I'm still feeling hopeful.
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Thanks for the allergy info; I didn't know that they could be affected by age and hormonal shifts! 

    It seems to me that this whole business of TTC is like yelling into the abyss. There's so much uncertainty. It could take a month like Liz, a year like they say is typical for most women, or ten years from unforseen problems. That makes me really nervous. I'm in my 20s and healthy, but I've never had a regular period until going on BC (and from what I understand that's not a *real* period) and my it took my mom 10 years and 5 miscarriages, including a life-threatening ectopic pregnancy to have me. (Thusly, I'm an only child.) I don't know how much of that is genetic, but it's still scary that it could happen to anyone. 

    ETA: Wow, sorry for bringing down the happy thoughts!
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: January TTC

    In Response to Re: January TTC:
    [QUOTE]kar--I didn't think your initial post was harsh at all. I only replied to it once rama seemed genuinely curious about the statistics.  I thought that Alf's post was written with a tone that was sort of condescending and counterproductive.  Of course wanting to drink or wear a dress at a wedding is a stupid reason to put off TTC.  But I felt that Alf sort of jumped to conclusions and made it sound like there was no possible way that waiting could be a reasonable decision, when it might indeed have been the right decision for the OP.   I agree that we need to share our different perspectives, because otherwise there'd not be much point in posting here at all!  :)
    Posted by siena09[/QUOTE]

    Well, if you'd read the entire post, you would see that I specifically said that 'if you want to wait before TTC, that's fine. . . ' but that putting it off b/c of other people's life events, or b/c you think you will get pg fast b/c you are young, was not a good idea.  The point was that relying on what statistics say about the average woman in a particular study means squat.  You are not a statistic.  According to statistics based on my health [regular period, no medical issues beyond allergies and sinuses], education level, race, and income level, I should have 2.5 kids.  I don't. 

    Kar is right. Don't fall into the trap of thinking "I'm young, I have x event  coming up and don't want to be pg for it, I can hold off this month".  If you do that too many times, no matter what your age, it can lead to results you may not like. 

    Of course, if I did have breast cancer, I'd think these doctors were freaking geniuses. Now, they tell my I am being 'shortsighted' b/c I will not do assisted intervention to get pg [for many reasons, including religious ones] and have outright questioned whether I actually want a child.  I can't switch doctors b/c I'm in the military system, so I have to deal w/ these judgemental idiots who encouraged me to be in the position that I am now in every time that I have a doctor's appt.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from cicirose. Show cicirose's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Alf - I am very sorry for all the trouble you have had especially your mc. That is terrible and I think your viewpoint is completely understandable and I totally agree with what you're saying about not postponing for trivial reasons.

    WPP - I have been really nervous about this entire ttc thing as well, with a history of some fertility issues in the family and suspected pcos/anovulation. Somehow when I healed after a seemingly unrelated procedure this summer, my cycles regulated and I've gotten pg twice. I think the medical resources out there are a lot better now, if you find it necessary and are open to it. Best of luck with your journey and I really hope it's a short and easy one!

    AFM, I got a definite bfp on my FRER last night! It was so much different than the last time but of course I'm still scared out of my mind at the thought of mc.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from siena09. Show siena09's posts

    Re: January TTC

    In Response to Re: January TTC:
    [QUOTE] Now, they tell my I am being 'shortsighted' b/c I will not do assisted intervention to get pg [for many reasons, including religious ones] and have outright questioned whether I actually want a child.  I can't switch doctors b/c I'm in the military system, so I have to deal w/ these judgemental idiots who encouraged me to be in the position that I am now in every time that I have a doctor's appt.
    Posted by ALF72[/QUOTE]

    ALF--that sounds really frustrating. I'm sorry that you have to deal with these doctors who don't respect your own decisions about your health care.

    And I do largely agree with your broader point.  I decided to throw out my personal timeline for when would be a good time (primarily professional considerations) to TTC after my own mc. I felt there was (for me) a certain lesson there in my inability to time and control things as elegantly as I would like. But I'm hesitant to impose it on others, and honestly believe that a couple months are exceedingly unlikely to make a difference in whether a woman under 35 has a successful pregnancy.  
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: January TTC

    In Response to Re: January TTC:
    [QUOTE]I'm not offended by any of the opinions posted.  I honestly don't regret making the decision I made to wait two months... but maybe I'll feel differently if things don't work out down the road and will be sharing the same advice.  But since we're just starting our TTC journey I'm still feeling hopeful.
    Posted by SSBride09[/QUOTE]

    That's a relief, thanks.  I was just pointing out that that surge of initial hope can trick you into making decisions that you might later regret when hope has fizzled.  But, for all this talk of potential regret, you'll be pregnant first thing, no doubt. ;)

    Hope is a funny thing.  It's only a positive thing if what you are hoping for actually happens before too long.  If it doesn't, you start to see hope as a cruel biich who seems to enjoy letting you down.  I, frankly, hate hope and am on a mission to warn people of her fickleness.

    DH had extreme hope when we started to ttc.  He believed it WOULD happen and quickly.  So, when he was "too tired" now and again that first year, he thought it would be no big deal to miss our best shot that month.  Now, 3 years later, he has regret about that, and we obviously can't redo that year knowing what we know now. We'll never know if those months here and there were the difference, and no one can tell us they weren't.

    But, like I said, for all this debbie downer talk, you'll be the next BFP we read about!

    And, speaking of BFP, great news that it's sticking, cici!!
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Congrats, cici.

    Yes, sienna, there are always valid reasons for holding off on TTC or stopping for a bit after you start.  Medical and professional reasons are wonderfully valid reasons for doing so. My last instruction to go on BCP b/c of the mammogram came when I was 38 and just starting a new job.  I didn't make as much of a fuss as I should have b/c w/ the new job it was a good idea not to get pg then. I'm not imposing any beliefs on anyone.  I'm just voicing my opinion [which is based on my own persnal experience - as is anyone's opinion] that holding off for relatively trivial reasons [such as potentially not being able to attend a wedding b/c you may be too far along to fly or may have just given  birth, or are afraid that being pg will overshadow the bride's day] may not be the best course of action. We cannot plan everything, however much we would like to. I am a type A lawyer - I make list in my sleep and plan out every last detail for everything. The one thing I have not been able to plan is TTC and pg.  Based on statistics and my own medical health and history, I should have been able to plan it. But life does not work out that way. It is very dangerous to think that we can plan this area of our lives, despite what studies tell us.  I think doctors are overly optimistic about the chances of women conceiving in any particular cycle or what your chances are at a particular age. Taking a few months off in your late 20s or when you are under 32 should not make a huge difference, but it's not something you want to get in the habit of doing unless you have a very good reason. 
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from Chiclet831. Show Chiclet831's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Congrats Cici! Our first official BFP of the new year (if I'm not mistaken)!!!


     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from ml2620-2. Show ml2620-2's posts

    Re: January TTC

    I called my doctor today because I am having some weird symptoms that, last time I had them, I had a strep infection in my vg - upper level cramping and tissue discharge when I urinate.

    ANYWAY, just because no one ever does this, I'll do it.

    My instructions from my doctor were to go take a pregnancy test and call them back, so that is what I am doing. I'm sure it will be negative, but everyone hold your breath with me for a bit....

    Haven't called DH about it yet, and felt the need to tell someone!

    Our preconception visit with the doctor is not until Monday. I'm not even sure if I want this one to be positive, but we will take whatever comes!
     

Share