January TTC

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from MissWolff. Show MissWolff's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Hi SS- I've seen conflicting info...either every other day or every day if sperm motility and everything else is fine etc. Now at this point in time I don't know any thing about my husband's swimmers, good or bad, but I'm going with every day during 'prime time'. :)

    I don't think multiple times a day is *ideal* as you want the swimmers to get back up to speed (regenerate) in between.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from Chiclet831. Show Chiclet831's posts

    Re: January TTC

    In Response to Re: January TTC:
    Hi SS- I've seen conflicting info...either every other day or every day if sperm motility and everything else is fine etc. Now at this point in time I don't know any thing about my husband's swimmers, good or bad, but I'm going with every day during 'prime time'. :) I don't think multiple times a day is *ideal* as you want the swimmers to get back up to speed (regenerate) in between.
    Posted by MissWolff

    I've heard the same advice. If there's no reason to expect DH has a low sperm count or low motility, every day is fine. If there are sperm count issues, it's better to do every other day. But more than once a day is too much, regardless of how awesome his swimmers are. 

    So excited (and a little jealous) for your smiley face, SS! Have a fun week!

     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from cicirose. Show cicirose's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Congrats on your smiley face!
    I've heard the same thing as MissWolff and Chiclet. TMI, but what worked for us both times was something around every other day mostly by default because I was not anticipating ovulation. The one time I was expecting to O and we tried every day, we were both exhausted and sick of each other at the end and it didn't work anyway! That's just my personal experience though and certainly nothing scientific.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from MissWolff. Show MissWolff's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Cici- Go figure! It's a little bit of science and a lot of luck it seems!

     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from jc4321. Show jc4321's posts

    Re: January TTC

    In Response to Re: January TTC:
    So excited to see a smiley face on my OPK this morning!  How often should you BD for best results.  Every day for the next 3?  More than once a day?  Every other day?  I've heard a lot of people recommend different approaches.  Looking forward to a good week.
    Posted by SSBride09


    Hi SS. When I got my smiley face, we BD'd that night and the next night. It worked for us a I got pg that cycle. Good luck! :)
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from SSBride09. Show SSBride09's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Thanks ladies... I think I'll try every day for a few and home DH doesn't get too tired :)

    Now that we're trying I think this 2ww is going to go by really slowly.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from luvRIboy. Show luvRIboy's posts

    Re: January TTC

    SSBride, unfortunately it does go by very slowly, and moreso each month.  I tried to use reverse psychology...and do everything in my power not to think about "what if" until after my AF was due each month.  It's tough, but living in limbo every month is really tough!  Keep living your life, don't forget that the foundation of your family is your relationship with one another, so foster that, and try your best not to obsess about it. 
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from winter09wedding. Show winter09wedding's posts

    Re: January TTC

    ML- I have been thinking about you today and hope the pre-conception visit went well.  if you feel up to it- can you let us know how it went?

     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from Tangerine5. Show Tangerine5's posts

    Re: January TTC

    SSBride, exciting! I totally agree with everybody else - just wanted to say that whether you wind up with every day or every other, I'd defiinitely do your best to make tonight one of those days :) I think a positive OPK predicts that ovulation will happen within the next 12-24 hours or so, though I might be off about that (and to that point, probably no need to knock yourselves out by going at it every day for days on end - that is, if you don't want to! :). And yeah, the 2ww totally s&cks. It's all about distraction!

    tomarra, happy to hear from you and excited that you and DH have been given the all-clear to start IVF! When do you expect AF? All my fingers, toes, and other appendages will be crossed for you.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from siena09. Show siena09's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Tomarra--fingers crossed for you as you move to IVF.

    ML--hope your appt went well!

    SSBride--no advice on the 2ww, other than that you can vent here. 

    ETA: did you guys hear this new Jay Z song about his & Beyonce's new baby? I thought it was sweet, and I appreciated that he acknowledged their previous miscarriage:

    from the song lyrics:
    false alarms and false starts/all made better by the sound of your heart/all the pain of the last time/i prayed so hard it was the last time
    ...
    last time the miscarriage was so tragic/we was afraid you disappeared/but, nah, baby you magic

     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: January TTC

    SS, there is varying advice from OBs regarding every other day or every day.  You can make your own decision better, I think, if you understand the life cycles of eggs and sperm so you can decide based on that what "good coverage" means to you.

    Eggs live 12 - 24 hours.  I chose to assume only 12 hours to ensure coverage.

    Sperm live 1 - 5 days.  I chose to assume 2 days to ensure coverage.

    You can ovulate as early as 24 hours after and as late as 48 hours after the smiley face.

    Therefore, if you have sex the day you see your smiley face, you'll have viable sperm in your body ready for an egg to be released the entire window of ovulation.  By doing it then no matter when the egg gets released it will still be alive when sperm are around.

    If you wait a day, you're still covered because eggs live 12 hours, and you won't ovulate before 24 hours after the smiley face.

    If you wait 2 days, you might have missed your window, if you ovulated on the early side of the 24 - 48 hour window, but there's still a chance you get get pregnant if you ovulate on the later side of the window.

    As far as sperm count goes, if you have sex the day of or the day after the smiley face and haven't had sex awhile before then, sperm count should be as high as it can be at that time.  And, since sperm live up to 5 days...well, you get the idea.  

    If you do decrease sperm count after that by having sex every day, you're still covered by the first time.

    I think we often assume we have a much smaller window of egg and sperm life than we really have.  You don't get pregnant the second you have sex nor do you have to have sex the moment you are ovulating.  That's why people can be days off regarding what day they believe they conceived.  For instance, if a couple only has sex once a month (God forbid), they can't say for sure they got pregnant on that day because she could have ovulated up to 5 days after that and a remaining sperm could have done the job.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts

    Re: January TTC

    ML - hope all went well yesterday.  Was thinking of you as I was at my appointment as well.  Can I say, I met the most amazing OB/GYN doctor yesterday.  I have mentioned before that my practice made me rotate all their doctors during my pregnancy as they wanted me to know all of them (since they can't know who will deliver you).  I get that concept... but by seeing 7 doctors during a 10 month time... no one gets to know you and vice versa.  Did not like that system, and I made that known.  They said I can stick with one next time around by asking to do so.  A few have left the practice since, so I saw a new doctor yesterday for my annual pap and 6 month TTC review.  She was so great.  Really listened, was open, not condescending, realized that I knew something about TTC and didn't laugh (as the nurse had done on the phone).  Told her I've never done O strips.  She said "lets try this time... why not!"  She also ordered a day 21 blood test for Progesterone (to ensure I O'd) and then day 3 for FSH (egg quality/reserve) assuming I don't get PG this cycle.  So I just felt like she really cared and we're moving forward.

    So I bought O strips last night for the first time and did my first one this morning.  CD 8 and no surge, which is good so far.  Got a box of 7 so hopefully I'll catch it! 
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: January TTC

    IPW, that's great news you found someone that good that you have an instant raport with and trust in.  That's far too rare in the medical world today and I'm happy for your experience.  Let's hope it leads to success soon.  GL with the strips.  Day 8 is a good day to start, although, you might not catch it by Day 15.  I got positives anywhere from Day 9 to Day 18; it varied every month.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from ml2620-2. Show ml2620-2's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Thanks for the good thoughts Ladies!

    We had a crappy appointment. I had hoped to come out with a clear "go ahead and have another, we will take care of everything and manage your care well!" That was not the case. They said we faced some very real risks, mainly to my health and recommended we see a specialist in cardiac fetal medicine at Beth Israel (Dr. Hank Roque, or something like that?), that the larger issue is that I have fluid around my heart - not that I had pre-eclampsia late in a previous pregnancy.

    My husband was really wonderful beyond my expectations. I expected him to say "well that's it, it's not safe for you and we aren't have another baby!" But he was very supportive of me being completely devastated and encouraged me to make the appointment to see the cardiac fetal specialist if it was something I felt I needed to do. He'd love another baby too, but is less willing to take risks with  my health than I am.

    The fact of the matter is, if we had a blessed surprise like Poppy, doctors would be able to manage my care well, I am sure. But they won't say go ahead and do it, and that scares the heck out of my husband. If we did not already have a child, it would be easier to make the decision. But we have so much more at risk now, so much more to lose.

    So at the moment, I am sitting with it, the wait list for a meeting with the fetal specialist is long and I am on the list. My concern is I am madly in love with my child, I am madly in love with being a mother. I'm terrified of smothering her, I'm terrified by how little I care about anything beyond my husband and child. Afraid of her not loving me or wanting to spend time with me when she is older, of being alone and what will I do with all my time and energy when she isn't so dependent on me? What about HER? An only child of two older parents? Long before I had her, I really defined myself as a mother and now this has really brought up issues of, more than anything, WHO am I and who am I going to be as the mother of a single child?
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from cicirose. Show cicirose's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Oh ml - I am so sorry to hear about your appointment and your health complications. I hope you can get in to see the specialist very soon and he will have a much better prognosis.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from SSBride09. Show SSBride09's posts

    Re: January TTC

    ml - so sorry the doctors aren't giving you the news you want to hear.   I truly hope you get the go ahead you want, but if you don't I wouldn't worry too much about DD being smothered or not loving you/depending on you.  My experience has been that single children typically turn out just fine and have perhaps a stronger relationship with their parents.

    Kar - thanks for the incredibly detailed overview on the timing... that is so helpful!
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from clc51510. Show clc51510's posts

    Re: January TTC

    ml - sorry to hear that your appointment didn't go as you had hoped.  Although, I guess the silver lining is they didn't say "No, you cannot have another child" and who knows maybe the specialist will give you the answers you and your DH need to feel comfortable with TTC again.  Fingers crossed that your next appointment goes well.

    IPW - I have lots (over 50) of the cheapy dip strip OPKs.  I would be willing to mail them to you if you think you could use them in the future.  They are just sitting in my medicine cabinet at the moment.  That offer goes for anyone else out there that wants them!
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from siena09. Show siena09's posts

    Re: January TTC

    ml--sorry to hear about your appointment.  keep in mind that doctors do have an ethical responsibility and legal liability to let you know about the risks involved, and so they are unlikely to tell you "don't worry, just go ahead" if they have any reason to think you may be at risk.  So be sure you ask a lot of questions and get as much information as possible about how your risk compares so that you can make your own best, most informed decision.  (I'm sure you are already doing that though.) I hope your next appointment goes better.  I am sure that you are a wonderful mother to your daughter, and that won't change regardless of whether you do or do not have another, so try to let go of that fear as much as you can--it won't help here.

    AFM, this 2ww is making me crazy.  I DREAMED about taking a pg test last night.  I can only laugh at my subconscious at this point.
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from winter09wedding. Show winter09wedding's posts

    Re: January TTC

    ML- I was so sad reading your message, not because of what the doctors seemed to convey but at the pain that you expressed.

    I totally get the smothering thing. I know that it is good for DH to tuck in DS every once in a while, but I can't bring myself to do it.  however, that being said, you do amazing things all the time to support your DD's independence and growth.  I have no doubt that you are a terrific mother that will be wonderful to your child or children, regardless of how many you have.  I do think- based on what you said- that it sounds like you really want to have another child.

    I work in the medical field. two (unsolicited) tips- (1) put yourself on any cancellation list they may have to try and get in sooner- it seems like this is important enough for you to drop everything and get in there. and (2) call like one a week or once every other week and "just double check to see if he has any last minute cancellations" or anything. those are the people who get slotted in when anything opens up- not those who patiently wait.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: January TTC

    ML - I was so hoping you'd get good news at your appointment.  It sounds like they aren't comfortable "endorsing" another pregnancy, maybe in the same vein that doctors won't give you a definitive answer about so many things that could possibly come back to bite them if something goes wrong and the patient says, "You said it was ok!"  Like you said, if you did get pregnant I'm sure the care would be there.  But I can see how it would be a hard decision when there could be risks... I'm glad you and your DH have such a strong relationship and can work as a team about this.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALS76. Show ALS76's posts

    Re: January TTC

    ML- I'm so sorry you didn't get the news that you wanted to hear yesterday.  I think that they bright side is that they referred you to the specialist and that they didn't say "no" to another baby.  We are so fortunate that we live in a major metropolitan area that is at the forefront of the medical world.  I have faith that they will be able to manage your care.  And at the end of the day - you are a wonderful mother to your DD no matter what else happens. 

    I was definitely thinking of you yesterday since I had my high-risk pre-pg appointment at the Brigham yesterday as well.  I remembered that we had our appointments on the same day.  DH and I met with a doctor that we really really liked.  I do have some risks involving another pre-term delivery, but the risks weren't as bad as I feared.  There will be a lot of preventative measures taken if I get pg again, but it would be a plan I am comfortable with.  I was really impressed with the overall approach at BWH and just had a good feeling being there. 

    I also asked this doctor about being on prenatal vitamins with folic acid for 3 months prior to conception and she still thought that was a good idea, just to be on the safe side.  I also asked about being off the bcp for 3 months prior to conception and she said that was less important.  She said that recommendation is more for helping the doctors date the pregnancy a little better and she was less "strict" about that component.  So I'll have been on prenatals for 3 months at the end of February, so we could officially try at any point after that.

    Oh and IPW - I'm really happy that you found a doctor that you liked!  It is so important - and rare!
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: January TTC

    In Response to Re: January TTC:
    Kar - thanks for the incredibly detailed overview on the timing... that is so helpful!
    Posted by SSBride09

    You're welcome - figured it would help you sort it out for yourself.  With some saying "every day" and others saying "every other day" it might seem like it's a matter of flipping a coin unless you have the details.

    ML, are you still seeing a therapist?  These are deep, dark feelings and very heavy issues you are dealing with that are not going to be able to be put behind you very soon, and I'm so sorry.  And, while you have every right as a human being to feel all of them acutely and painfully (it's totally natural), ask these questions, and be scared, disappointed, and everything, I hope you will be proactive about not letting them drag you into a hopelessness that becomes a problem in and of itself to be overcome.  Long term handling of these painful issues can snowball into an emotional avalanche before you know it...just be careful.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from Chiclet831. Show Chiclet831's posts

    Re: January TTC

    ML - Just wanted to echo everyone's sentiments about your appointment. I'm hoping that the specialist has some good news for you, once you finally get to see him. Don't give up hope just yet! I have no doubt that your new doctor has treated a lot of patients with your same concerns. In the meantime, you have us to vent to, if that helps...

    ALS and IPW - I'm glad your appointments were positive. 

    Kar - Thanks for your timing details. I'm not expecting my smiley face until Friday at the earliest, more likely next week. Do you think that we should not BD until then? I hadn't really put any thought into what we should or shouldn't be doing this week.
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from Chiclet831. Show Chiclet831's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Kar - I just realized that I missed the memo about your birthday! I hope that you had a great day!
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts

    Re: January TTC

    ALS - great news that you had a good appointment.  Good luck in February/March as you start trying!

    ML - so sorry you got such frustrating news.  As folks have said, the silver lining is it wasn't completely forbidden.  I agree with Winter... call and call and call again to see about any cancellations.

    I am an only child and you know, you just don't know the difference.  Sure, my friends have siblings and I don't.  Oh well.  I've discussed that its hard now that my dad is sick, but it just is. I don't love him or my mom any less because they didn't have more kids.  In fact, they were incredibly unhappy so thank goodness they didn't.  I have some really great, close cousins and some amazing best friends.  They are my "family" and I count on them as much as I'd imagine I'd count on a sister or brother.  How's this for odd (at least to me).  I have a friend who hates her 4 brothers so much she actually choose to only have one for that specific reason. 
     
Sections
Shortcuts

Share