January TTC

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from SSBride09. Show SSBride09's posts

    Re: January TTC

    In Response to Re: January TTC:
    [QUOTE]Kar, I had to laugh because your post basically says "Chiclet, stop being yourself!" Driving myself crazy for no good reason and making things more complicated than need be are two things I'm REALLY good at. I'm just going to take comfort in knowing that I'm probably over-complicating this whole TTC thing.  Posted by Chiclet831[/QUOTE]

    I can totally relate!  I'm trying not to become obsessed with making sure I'm doing this whole TTC thing right, but its totally against my nature not to obsess.

    The 2ww is killing me, luckily I've been super busy at work so that helps pass the time.  I can't wait for Monday when I expect AF.  Its actually good timing since I'm traveling for work Mon-Wed and I know if I was even a day late I would want to test.  This way I'm forced to wait until Wed if I'm lucky.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: January TTC

    It's in my nature to obsess, too.  Somewhere along the line, though, I let go some.  Hanging on so tight that my knuckles were perpetually white never got me anywhere but frustrated and tired, never ahead of the game.  If something IS simple, KEEP it simple.  

    Well, I really am about to walk the dog (I've been procrastinating something fierce) so I'll let you obsess in peace. Wink
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Chiclet, I almost laughed out loud when you said you bring out the heavy artillery. DH and I are both psychotic Googlers. For any life event, we Google the cr-ap out of the Internet and read a million books and cross-reference everything. It's borderline pathological, lol. Good to see we're in good company! :) I'm trying to trick myself into being more cavalier about TTC, at least for the first six months or so!
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: January TTC

    At least when you start the process maybe you could benefit from just focusing on DH and having lots of sex and seeing what happens.  That's how the race procreated before home assay tests! ;)

    If after a few months of serious marriage building you aren't pregnant, break out the strips and dr. google.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from Chiclet831. Show Chiclet831's posts

    Re: January TTC

    In Response to Re: January TTC:
    [QUOTE]At least when you start the process maybe you could benefit from just focusing on DH and having lots of sex and seeing what happens.  That's how the race procreated before home assay tests! ;) 
    Posted by kargiver[/QUOTE]

    That's advice I'm happy to take! :-)
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Maybe you'll get pregnant before TTC becomes a stressful, strife-inspiring chore.  That's my aim here...it can be awful.  I honestly hate to read all the "out of the gate" stressing, measuring, studying, and calculating that is sucking the joy right out of it before you even try the fun, natural, playful, sexy way of getting pregnant - with a hot date, donning of a lacy teddy, lighting candles, sharing a bubble bath, and having passionate sex with your DHs!

    A little known fact about conceiving, I think, is that the more relaxed and actually physically turned on a woman is, the more receptive her cervix will be during sex to letting sperm past the gate.  The more you're stressed out and focused on "making a baby" at the time the less likely your body will be to let it happen.  So, in a round about way, focusing on DH, your marriage, and making love is more conducive to making a baby than focusing on the latter.  Especially before you even know if there's going to be a problem conceiving.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from Chiclet831. Show Chiclet831's posts

    Re: January TTC

    DH and I actually had a conversation about this before we started trying. Does it make sense to pull out all the stops, so to speak or to take it as a month by month thing? We decided that, to the extent that we know the "tricks of the trade," we might as well use them and hopefully improve our chances from the beginning. I think it's possible to do that and not lose the magic. We were lucky to be away for DH's birthday on what was hopefully the right weekend. *wink*

    If I'm just a crappy OPK tester, then I think I'm in the 2ww. What I thought was EWCM seems to have changed, so I think my window is closed. It would make sense looking at the calendar as well. So, fingers crossed!
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Welcome to the hell of the 2ww.  GL!
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from Hibernian15. Show Hibernian15's posts

    Re: January TTC

    We started trying in the Spring, and since then I've had 2 miscarriages between 9-12 weeks. I just got the green light to start trying again from the Dr, but found out I'm going to be laid off at the end of this month. Aaarg!

    So if anyone else is/has been TTC and look for a job, I'd love your advice. I know I should wait until I find a new job and get settled there. But tick tock, I'm in my mid thirties. Ugh.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Hibernian, what field are you in?

    I was in this boat as well.  We are still TTC [back on after being on BPC for 9 months for other issues] but I am hoping that I don't get pg at this point. I'm 39, have a job and am starting a new one in a few months.

    However, I was TTC and out of work and looking for work for over a year when we moved.  There was no point in putting my life on hold while that was going on, so we kept TTC. I got pg and had a m/c.  If you are mid 30s, you need to think long and hard about whether to stop TTC while looking for work esp in a bad economy. It's really going to be a personal decision driven by finances and the field you are in - some are more flexible than others. Mine is not flexible, at least not for the type of things I do.  
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from ml2620-2. Show ml2620-2's posts

    Re: January TTC

    First off, good to see you again ALF. I've been looking for you lately. I understand the mixed feelings, but I still send positive baby vibes to you.

    Hiberian, TTC, life will straighten itself out and people will deal. 3 weeks after I hired my admin (when I was 15 weeks pregnant myself) I found her crying in the bathroom at work with a positive pregnancy test in hand. She was worried about losing her job and what we would think of her for "doing this." We worked it out, it was not a problem at all, life happens, everyone deals. Her baby is almost as cute as mine! :)

    If a baby is a priority in your life, make it a priority if you are mid-thirties. The rest will straighten itself out, jobs, health insurance, money all of that will always ebb and flow. However, that window for having one more more healthy pregnancies is much smaller.

    I say that as a 38.5 year old hoping for another (albeit high risk) pregnancy, who absolutely hates her job, is looking for another and is the main income in the family. For now I know that if another baby is possible, it has to be the priority above all other wants.

     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from luvRIboy. Show luvRIboy's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Hiberian, I'm with the others on this one...don't wait...life goes on no matter what.  I was unemployed due to a layoff until I was about 7 months pregnant.  Started a new job that I loved, and negotiated 10 weeks unpaid leave when I signed my offer letter, even though they weren't legally required to give it to me...and they even were able to qualify me for short term disability, as a new hire!  If they want to hire you, they will!  Also, as expensive as babies CAN be, they don't have to be as expensive as people make them...you don't need the swing, the bouncy seat, the rocker, all at once!  You don't need the $700 stroller.  You don't need a lot of the stuff people want.  A lot of love goes a lot farther than a state of the art crib! 
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from Chiclet831. Show Chiclet831's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Hiberian, I agree with the others. If I had health insurance, I wouldn't wait. Your life shouldn't stop because you lost your job. If I didn't have health insurance, I would think twice. Not that it couldn't be done, but it would worry me. If your DH can carry the insurance, I say go for it! Good luck!
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Hib, sorry you've gone through 2 m/c's in a short time and that you are facing being laid off.  

    If you don't find a job in the year following your layoff you'll have to find some way to survive.  I'm assuming that DH is working, that job is stable, and you have health insurance through him.  A baby will fit into that picture if you get pregnant.  You'll do what you have to do to make it work even if it won't be comfortable.  The decision of putting it off for any amount of time might be the difference between having or not having a child.  And, even if it's not easy right away (or ever) making it work if you really want a child will be worth it.

    Best,
    ~kar
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from cicirose. Show cicirose's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Hibernian, I am very sorry to hear about your miscarriages and job loss. I also agree with the others, assuming that you are emotionally ready to deal with all of it at once. Many families have had children at inopportune times and fared fine. I do think Chiclet has a very good point about the insurance though, especially if there are going to be extra tests and doctors visits based on your history. Best of luck with whatever you decide!
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from siena09. Show siena09's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Hiberian-
    I am so sorry to hear about your two losses and now your impending lay off.  That's a tough hand to be dealt.  

    I don't think I have any advice or special insight into your decision, other than that, as cliche as it sounds, follow your heart.

    That, and I'm wishing you that you get your take-home baby sometime in the near future.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from Hibernian15. Show Hibernian15's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Thanks so much everyone. This is a priority for us, so we need to find a way to make it work. I am good at my job, it shouldn't matter if I get pregnant right after I start a new job or not. I need to stop worrying about it. Thanks for helping me put it in perspective.

    I guess I am feeling the pressure of the layoff because I am the primary breadwinner at home and in a male dominated industry at work. So I don't have any role modelson how to handle it.

    There's no reason I can't occasionally work from home with what I do, except company policy. I've realized that if I want to have a child, I also need to make that option a priority in finding my next job.

    And health insurance is important for someone with my history, I agree. We've had mine, and we need to switch to his before I get pregnant just to be safe. But that's easy to do and I can start the process right now.
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Can you pay all the bills every month (even if you have to pare them down) on just your husband's income if push came to shove?  If that's none of our business, just consider it privately before you proceed with TTC.  I'd go forward assuming you won't be able to find work right away, and then if you do, that will be a bonus instead of what you're absolutely counting on.
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: January TTC

    use your words....

    ETA:  Someone I don't know posted "?!?!?!?!?!?" above this yesterday and deleted it when I posted this response.  Apparently, words escaped her completely.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from Chiclet831. Show Chiclet831's posts

    Re: January TTC

    My winter cold seems to have caught up with me. It seems like everyone in the office is sick, nevermind that I just spent some time on an airplane. My immune system didn't stand a chance!

    Hope you all have great weekends!
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Chicklet, that's too bad - hope you're feeling better soon!
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Feel better, Chiclet. It's so frustrating when colds are unavoidable! One of my friends had her baby boy today. I have three friends who gave birth within the past three weeks; my Facebook feed is exploding with babies. It's really exciting and they're all so happy. I'm really happy for them but can't help feeling a little envious. I think I'm also projecting my panic of, "what if TTC doesn't work for me" while at the same time really missing being back "home" (it's probably not healthy that I've lived in Boston for five years and don't yet consider it home) and missing my friends when everyone is experiencing major life events. I wish I could be there to celebrate, meet the babies, give support, etc. Anyway.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from stefani2. Show stefani2's posts

    Re: January TTC

    first month back on the wagon and.... AF came today.  :-/
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from siena09. Show siena09's posts

    Re: January TTC

    chiclet--hope you got some rest this weekend and are feeling better!

    WPP--I hear you on the feelings anxiety that comingle with happiness at friends baby/pg announcements. 

    stefani--the waiting is crummy, but CD1 is definitely the worst! sorry. hope this month brings some good news for you.

    AFM, I'm staring at my chart and OPKs for longer than I probably need to be, waiting for them to reveal some deep secret--feel like I'm reading tea leaves.  But in truth, I think nothing has happened yet.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: January TTC

    If you just started charting, there's nothing to notice, really.  You have to chart long enough to see a pattern emerge.  Although, when I tried it, I never saw anything, just random temperature fluxuations.  And, I know I've actually ovulated at least once in my life; I had a m/c.  I found temping to be utterly useless.  The strips, on the other hand, were useful in predicting exactly what day AF would arrive.  That was handy.
     

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