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July 2012 ttc

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    July 2012 ttc

    Happy July and best wishes for our bfp girls for continued stickiness! ALF, that s cks your dh isn't on board with saying you gave it your best and it's time to stop trying. It must be so stressful to not be on the same page with something that isn't possible to compromise on. I'm kind of in the same boat emotionally, but I don't have the added major complication of dh being away for a long time in the near future. It's the risk of birth defects that is driving me to want t quit now that I'm 40. A baby changes everything, I like our life the way it is, and a baby with Down's or autism...omg, no. My dh doesn't think anything like that could possibly happen to us, but we are the statistically likely people it does happen to at 40 and 48. Still, like you, I'm going along with not preventing because that's what he wants so much, and it's not like we can have it both ways somehow.
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from SSBride09. Show SSBride09's posts

    Re: July 2012 ttc

    Siena, thanks for asking and hope the wait goes quickly for you.  I actually just met with the RE this morning and got my ivf calendar… yay!  Here’s my plan:

    On bcps now and for next 16 days
    8/3 Start Lupron
    8/14 Suppression check E2 and ultrasound

    8/15 Start Follistim
    8/25 HSG Trigger
    8/28 Egg Retrieval
    8/31 or 9/2 Transfer

    The dates couldn’t really be any less convenient.  I have a wedding on 8/3 so my first shot will be in the bathroom at the reception which should be interesting.  My SIL’s wedding is also 9/2 which is still up in the air so hopefully the transfer date will move up or back a few days in the end.

    Question for you ladies… We thought we had made up our minds to transfer 2 (assuming it works out that we have 2 to transfer) but our RE really tried to dissuade us at today’s meeting.  We’d love twins, but obviously don’t want to assume more health risks than we have to.  The RE said that in our case she would only recommend 2 if we only ended up with 2 quality embryos and none to freeze.  If we have extras to freeze she wants to try 1 and go the FET route if necessary after.  She said since we’re “young” and insurance is covering almost everything it’s the safer route.

    The RE showed us some of her recent stats and it looks like in the <35 group for a day 3 transfer the rates were higher (47% with 2 vs 35% with 1) but for a day 5 transfer the rate with transferring 1 was 85% vs 80% with 2.  Granted its only her patients so it’s a smallish sample size but that day 5 transfer rate looks awesome to me.

    So I think now I’m leaning towards putting back 2 if we have to go with a day 3 transfer and 1 with a day 5 transfer.  What do you think?  Need some help with making a decision here.
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from Hibernian15. Show Hibernian15's posts

    Re: July 2012 ttc

    MW, JL, sorry to hear things didn't work out for you.

    Stefani, my fingers are crossed for you. Hopefully you'll get another u/s next week and the heart rate will be closer to what they want to see.

    I've been offline for most of the last month just crossing my fingers and trying to relax. But my u/s yesterday revealed no heartbeat. I'm 9 weeks, 3 days, and everythings seems to have come to a stop development-wise just as I hit the 9 week mark.

    This time felt different, I really felt pregnant and had morning sickness. It's the longest pregnancy I've had, so DH and I are just devastated emotionally. Also, it's my 3rd mc. So it's clear there's an issue that's probably not going to allow us to do this the old fashioned way.

    I was supposed to see the genetic counselor next week. They advised me to have a D&C so they can analyse everything and see what went wrong. Then in a few weeks when everything is past, they will start genetic testing on DH and me and see if we are carrying anything that might be causing this.

    I feel beyond frustrated and sad right now. My Dr. is trying to get me to focus on the fact that I can get pregnant, so I'm probably a good IVF candidate. But I can't think that far ahead right now. My D&C is Friday, I'm just trying to get through my days until then. After that I need to focus on healing for a bit.

    Take care everyone.
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from clc51510. Show clc51510's posts

    Re: July 2012 ttc

    Hib - I'm very sorry for your loss. I'll be thinking of you and your DH. SS - glad your RE appointment went well. Good luck with your upcoming IVF plans. Thinking of all of you other ladies and hoping August will bring good news to these boards.
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from Chiclet831. Show Chiclet831's posts

    Re: July 2012 ttc

    Hib, I'm heartbroken to hear your news! I hope you and your DH can take the time you need to recover. I hope you're able to get some answers soon. If it's any help, I did genetic counselling and I found it to be a piece of cake. We did a saliva test and mailed it away for the results. DH was completely freaked out about the genetic counseling. I think it was Stef who talked us into going through with it!

    AFM, AF finally showed up this morning after 6 days of spotting. The RE said that there's nothing he can do for me, so call back in January when I change insurances. I asked the nurse to ask him about the spotting but I guess he didn't address it in the email he sent back to her, so we'll never know if that's a problem. I'm completely terrified of my options come January, so I'm starting to try to get used to the idea of not having biological children. So far, I can't think about it without welling up. I'm sure that will get better with time.

    SS - I don't have any advice for you, but good luck with this ivf cycle. I'm proud of you for going through this whole ordeal.
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from SSBride09. Show SSBride09's posts

    Re: July 2012 ttc

    Hib, I'm so sorry to things didn't work out with this pregnancy.  Wishing you the best as you recover from this loss.

    Chiclet - Hoping you find there are some good options available to you come January and that the time passes quickly for you.
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: July 2012 ttc

    Hib, so sorry for your heartwrenching repeated loss so far into the first trimester this time. Best wishes to you and DH as you work through the pain and figure out what you want to do next. GL on Friday. Chicklet, best wishes to you, too, as you proceed down your path, as well. After getting some vague "signs" that tend to get hopes up super high it's extra hard to process the disappointment. SS, glad you had a good appointment and hope all the efforts yield a healhty baby soon!
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from luckinlife. Show luckinlife's posts

    Re: July 2012 ttc

    Hib - I am so sorry to hear your news.  My thoughts are with you!
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from ml2620-2. Show ml2620-2's posts

    Re: July 2012 ttc

    Hib - Thinking of you and your family. I am so sorry to hear this news.
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from MissWolff. Show MissWolff's posts

    Re: July 2012 ttc

    Hib- I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Just shaking my head at my desk.  So so sorry.
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: July 2012 ttc

    Hope is a cruel bit.h. She masquerades as a harbinger of great things and as a bringer of happiness so we tell people to have hope because we want them to experience the happiness of hope. But, what is the happiness of hope? Good things happen just as often and easily without her and her "happiness." She has no business making promises she has no control over keeping, but that's what Hope does; it's her nature to promise happiness she has no power whatsoever to deliver. Neutrality, on the other hand, delivers on his promises every single time. He says that you might be pregnant and you might not, and he never lets you down. He's my kinda guy, a true friend. (Pessimism, by the way, can't keep his promises of doom and gloom, either, but that's neither here nor there.)
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from luckinlife. Show luckinlife's posts

    Re: July 2012 ttc

    Chiclet - Forgive me if I am mistaken but you haven't had any meds yet to increase your ovulation/eggs or IUI or IVF, right?   I am sorry you are in a holding pattern - I think there is nothing worse but please don't feel that you won't be able to have a biologic child.  Things could turn around greatly with a little medical intervention.  Of course, not having biologic children myself I can see from the other side that it becomes essentially irrelevant when you have the children via donor but I don't think you should feel like that is your fate at this time! 

    I also can't recall if you had FSH done or your age. 

    Anyway, I just don't want you to feel resigned to not having a biologic child when I think there is still a lot of opportunities for you.   If it helps you to feel resigned (I actually understand that along the lines of Kar), know that having a child via donor is a great option and personally I couldn't be happier about it.

  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: July 2012 ttc

    I couldnt agree more with lil, Chicklet. Maybe you won't have a biological child, but maybe you will. Remember, both hope and pessimism make promises they can't keep so don't listen to either one. Take the facts (your age, how long you've been trying etc.) and go one day at a time from there.
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from siena09. Show siena09's posts

    Re: July 2012 ttc

    Hibernian--how heartbreaking! I'm so so sorry to hear this. I hope you are able to get some helpful answers from the repeated loss testing. Chiclet- sorry for the frustration & disappointment. I think LIL's words are wise here but I know you're in a tough spot right now. SSbride--hooray for getting the schedule! Sounds like everything will get rolling very soon. I have my fingers crossed for you. AFM, today I came down with throbbing lower back pain that immediately made me think I was having another ectopic pg. ugh. Then I got a full blown fever so I think maybe it was just related viral aches. I don't know. My DH keeps cheerfully announcing that this cramping could be a sign of implantation. His optimism is killing me. I really really don't see how a virus and implantation could be related. :-/. He keeps asking me when I can test and we still have a week to go. He obviously knows how this goes by now, but I think he is just so desperate for things to work.
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: July 2012 ttc

    Siena, have you ever had a kidney infection? Sometimes a bladder infection can be symptomless and then shame, stabbing back pain is the first indication of infection. As for dh, maybe my speech about hope being nothing but a cruel might prompt some understanding that being overly optimistic in light of every twinge, pain, or discharge doesn't make pregnancy more likely, it only makes things more stressful for you as it not only sets you up for a bigger fall if you have a virus,for instance, but it adds the sadness of knowing how disappointed he'll be because of his super high expectations of what everything might mean. I hoope it's not an wishes!
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from Chiclet831. Show Chiclet831's posts

    Re: July 2012 ttc

    I really appreciate everyone's positive thoughts.

    LIL, thanks for taking the time to write to me. Just to answer your questions, I'll be 31 next month. I forget exactly what my FSH was when tested in March, but it was definitely lower than 5. I think it was 3. I was diagnosed with PCO (not PCOS). I did three rounds of Clomid, which got me to ovulate (even on the month I had to take a break) but didn't result in a BFP. My HSG was normal, as was DH's SA. We also passed our genetic counseling (DH isn't a carrier for anything. I was a carrier for some lung thing that I guess is fairly common.) The doctor told me when I started the Clomid that there was less than 20% chance of success, but it was the only treatment we could afford, so we did it.

    I believe the next step would be FSH injections and then IVF if that didn't work, but I'm not comfortable with injecting hormones into my body. If I was able to start the injections back in March, I might have been able to psych myself up for them, but I get nauseous and panicky when I think of sticking my stomach with a needle, nevermind the side effects of the extra hormones. Now that I've had time to do the research, I'm terrified. I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place, where I don't actually want either option. But opting out of the additional treatments means that I won't be setting myself up for the monthly disappointment when the treatments fail. Coming to terms with a childfree future at least protects me from the rollercoaster. DH wants to adopt and I told him he can do the research. I don't really want to put ourselves out there and he knows that, but I guess I have to compromise somewhere.
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: July 2012 ttc

    Chicklet, I understand your frustration and don't want to sound dismissive, but honestly at 31 and nothing other than pco you could very well get pregnant without intervention before you're 35 especially if you can take metformin. Sounds like your eagerness for it to happen immediately is putting a damper on your outlook. As you know, I'm the queen of not getting ones hopes up for nothing, but the key to my philosophy is the "for nothing" part. If there's reason for some hope, take heart and have some. My doctor said that 28 is the optimal age for getting pregnant, and in terms of your rreproductive life you are not far beyond that. As for dh doing the adoption research, your disagreement might just work itself out naturally because if clomid was the only medical intervention you can afford, chances are he'll be blown away by the price of adoption and his interest might wane when he discovers how much it will cost.
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from Chiclet831. Show Chiclet831's posts

    Re: July 2012 ttc

    Kar, the RE doesn't think I'm insulin resistant, so he didn't recommend the Metformin. My glucose level was 91 at my physical in November. I'd be willing to explore the insulin resistance, just based on the fact that I can't seem to lose weight without basically cutting carbs out of my diet completely. Immediately after I add carbs back, I gain the weight back. (Not even exaggerating. My nutritionist put me on a no carb diet for a week and I lost 7 lbs. I gained 6 lbs back within two days of resuming my regular diet, which is already low carb!) I don't know if the RE tested my glucose to begin with. The RE told me to call back in January when I have new insurance, so I don't feel like I can call them back and ask them about another treatment. I've been thinking of calling my PCP (I'm sure she already thinks I'm a hypochondraic) to ask her opinion, but this is also the same woman who told me that my losing weight was something I am doing for my own vanity (her words) and not going to help me get pregnant, so who knows. I've also never had my post-ovulation progesterone checked but the RE dismissed that when I asked last month.

    I don't think my anxiety is due to impatience. If January brought the promise of a different treatment that didn't involve needles, I'd happily plan myself a nice fall and wait. It's just that being told that my only options involve treatment that I don't want to do doesn't make me feel good. I guess I can hope for a spontaneous pregnancy, but I don't feel good about my chances there either. If I can't get pregnant under the circumstances I had this month, I don't have high hopes that it will just happen on its own.
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: July 2012 ttc

    That stinks...I'd say someth else but bdc won't let me. :(
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: July 2012 ttc

    Chicklet, not to sound dismissive, but you are 31. It's way to early to resign yourself to a childless future, or at least one that doesn't involve your own biological kids.  I understand that you have some health concerns and issues that may make it difficult to get pg w/o medical intervention and that you have mixed feelings about some of those methods of intervention.  However, while it is good to remain grounded and to realistically assess the situation, I think it's way too early in the day to be doom and gloom.

    If your PCP has intimated to you that she thinks you are hypochondriac, or has marginalized your desire for weight loss as 'vanity', it's probably time to get a new one.  Same for the specialist currently treating you. If they won't work w/ you until you get new insurance b/c they only want you to pursue certain treatments, find a new one that will discuss other options w/ you.

    Yes, it is possible that you may not have biological kids. However, at 31, even w/ some health/fertility issues, it's too soon to be so doom and gloomy.  HTH! 

    As far as the monthly disappointment, there is nothing you can do about it. After a while, I stopped telling DH when the 2WW was, or that I wasn't pg. Shortly before I got pg and again after my m/c, I basically told him "I'm not telling you anything else re cycles and fertility. I will  tell you if I am pg and that's it". Taking that pressure off to 'report in' every month or regarding every twinge, ache and pain [which does get really old after a while] b/c it "might" mean something, really helps. At least I thought it did.  9 times out of 10, discharge is discharge, pain is pain or gas, and sometimes you just need more fiber. None of it means anything until you get the BFP. It's like overanlyzing a relationship early on - ie, "what did he really mean when he said X"; generally it means nothing more than whatever he said (ie, he really did want pizza and didn't secretly want Thai). Once you can let go of all the 'what ifs" and "what does it mean" and realize generally it means nothing until it actually means something, the process becomes a ton easier. You may still not get the end results that you want, but it takes a good chunck of angst out of the process. Hang in there.
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from jleighla7. Show jleighla7's posts

    Re: July 2012 ttc

    Hib - I'm so sorry to hear your news. It's really so unfair. My heart goes out to you and your DH.

    Chiclet - sorry to hear about AF's arrival, and your worries about not having biological children. I really have no advice, but I'm thinking of you.

    SS - good luck with IVF! An 80-85% rate sounds great! Here's hoping it works for you on the first try. 

    Siena - I hope you're feeling better, and that your back pain is just some viral thing and not an ectopic. Good luck with the 2ww.

    AFM, I'm doing fine lately. The second m/c has been much easier to deal with, maybe because I've been super busy, and thus, distracted. We're taking August off from TTC b/c I likely won't get AF/ovulate on my own and I don't see the RE till the end of the month, so I'm happy to have a little break from obsessing.
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from luckinlife. Show luckinlife's posts

    Re: July 2012 ttc

    Chiclet - I have lots of thoughts here so bear with me.  I do agree with Alf regarding the weight loss.  If you are overweight - not sure you are - there is some evidence that weight loss can help and has nothing to do with vanity.  I am apalled by the remark even if weight loss would not affect your fertility.
    Has anyone done a glucose tolerance test??  If not, no one can say if you are glucose intolerant and would benefit from metformin.  Metformin regardless can increase ovulation 8 X in people with PCO, is cheap and a simple thing to try while you are waiting for insurance coverage - just a thought.

    You FSH is incredible.  That is a great indicator of excellent ovarian reserve and should make you a good responder to meds.

    With regards to injections - could your DH give them?  They are essentially painless (at least the stim meds - progresterone in the bu*tt is more painful but probably not even necessary for you).  I literally had NO side effects and actually felt worse on the birth control pill the month prior to my cycles. 

    Personally, I think meds or no meds, intervention or no intervention you are likely going to feel the disappointment monthly because you clearly want to get pregnant and have a child. I also think you might do better if you had a solid plan in place i.e. if this than this. That helped me tremendously.   After ever failed cycle and there were many, many failed cycles I knew exactly what I was going to do and had something else to "look forward" to. 

    I did notice that no one really seemed to care about my timeline but me so I had to push on a few things.  Sometimes things are so automated at the RE that they would have had me skip months for no good reason.

    Please feel free to ask any questions.  I don't think you are getting the support your need from your PCP or the RE.  I am not sure if you know, most do on this board, that I am a physcian and may be able to help a little.
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: July 2012 ttc

    lil, I think your case and WPP's are excellent (unfortunately) examples of how patients need to be vocal and persistent regarding their needs with their doctors. And, like ALF said, get a NEW DOCTOR if yours isn't listening to you. Not every doctor is going to look at a patient as a whole person, and with infertility, that is an absolutely essential facet. What other medical issue has so many emotional and religious, not just physical, aspects? Listening is crucial, and no doctor's feelings about your leaving their practice is worth giving up better care, and I think we mostly imagine a doctor getting hurt over our absence, anyway. If they aren't good listeners they probably won't even notice!
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from Chiclet831. Show Chiclet831's posts

    Re: July 2012 ttc

    You ladies are awesome! I'm really blessed to have you all to talk to and to get advice from. 

    You've empowered me to call my PCP and get her opinion. The nurse I spoke to was very supportive of my getting a second opinion and getting the tests that I want. She was very disappointed that I've hit a wall with my current RE but told me to find someone else and not take no for an answer. Unfortunately, she didn't have anyone to refer me to, but suggested I check out MGH or BWH. I was wondering if anyone on here could recommend their RE?

    LIL, I've never had a glucose tolerance test. I'm willing to try it though. I've heard success stories about Metformin (I think ML was one?) but I don't know what to do where this doctor didn't even mention it to me as an option. I was thinking that, if it came to injections, I might ask my mom to do them. She's an oncology nurse and we live close enough that it wouldn't be too much of an inconvenience. At least she would do them right! I'm glad to hear they didn't hurt you. My current RE mentioned progesterone suppositories, but never established whether I would need them or not. We'll cross that bridge later on I guess.
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from luckinlife. Show luckinlife's posts

    Re: July 2012 ttc

    Chiclet - you certainly can ask your pcp about metformin.  I would prescribe it.  It does not require any monitoring like clomid would.  I think if you are waiting for insurance coverage, have been diagnosed with PCO, it is probably worth a try.

    I like Dr. Toth at MGH.  I personally used Dr. Stephen Bayer at Boston IVF and liked him a lot as well.