March 2011

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from RedFishBlueFish. Show RedFishBlueFish's posts

    Re: March 2011

    The minimal service way to adopt is to go through the state, but you won't get an infant and it may be messy. A lot of people don't want to go that route.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from SarahInActon. Show SarahInActon's posts

    Re: March 2011

    Its easy people.  Go back and hit the "report" button on all of the offendor's posts, select your complaint or just hit ignore and never have to see them again.  But then we all miss out on the entertainment factor of seeing the latest postings by the crazies.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: March 2011

    I don't think anyone broke the forum rules here; report would be way out of line. 
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from am1028. Show am1028's posts

    Re: March 2011

    I'm with Sarah.  I wouldn't dream of hitting ignore on your posts, ALF, despite the fact that they are often so negative, because they are definitely entertaining.

    And as far as likening the costs of adoption to buying a baby, yes, I suppose that technically, you CAN get pregnant and give birth for free, and you probably can't adopt for free.  You also can't eat for free, but you can certainly eat for way cheaper than you could get a meal in a restaurant.  However, going the free route would be risky and you and your baby would certainly have far less chance of a positive outcome if you went that route (no prenatal care, no prenatal vitamins, no professionals managing your birth, etc.).  The extra costs are associated with maximizing your chances at a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby/child.  Exactly like the "exorbitant" costs of adoption people keep referring to are associated not with actually getting the baby (ie. a baby purchase), but maximizing your chances at taking home and keeping a healthy, well- adjusted baby/child.  Obviously, there are no guarantees no matter which way you go:  natural pregnancy, infertility treatments, or adopting, but no matter what, there are costs associated with becoming a parent, costs that people are willing to pay because the rewards are so worth it.  I really think it's unfair and insulting to intimate that those who went any other route than the old fashioned way are "buying" their babies (even if you didn't outright say they bought their baby and that's not what you mean, insinuating that the cost of adoption or fertility make it akin to human trafficking pretty much says you think that those who went those routes bought their babies).
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: March 2011

    I'm always glad to provide a public service.

    I find it amusing myself that people read so much into any particular post, particularly of posters they don't like.  Or that they care so much that they keep a running tally of old posts and whether they are 'helpful' or 'negative' in their mind.  That is not what I think nor the logical terminus of my reasoning regarding anything I posted, AM, but if it makes you happy to think that's what I think, go right ahead and think that.   
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: March 2011

    If only there was somewhere on this board where we could discuss adoption.

    Oh wait, there is.
    http://www.boston.com/community/forums.html?plckForumPage=Forum&plckForumId=Cat%3a982ab641-9368-4d63-9123-280cf0ac364aForum%3a8f215386-efe6-447f-a98b-c4a54e2a01e2
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from am1028. Show am1028's posts

    Re: March 2011

    You're right, Lemon, we should move this discussion out of TTC, as it's not really fair to have hijacked the thread for this.  I apologize to all the TTC's for my part in taking this way off course, and I wish you all the best of luck.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: March 2011

    Yes, me too!
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from tc95. Show tc95's posts

    Re: March 2011

    My apologies for ever starting the adoption discussion.  Thanks JMD though, I thought your post was very helpful.

    Getting back to TTC land, I have another (hopefully less inflamatory) question for those who have gone thru IVF.  We've had 3 failed cycles - one with my egg, 2 with the donor eggs. The RE today mentioned possibly doing an endometrial biopsy before the next frozen transfer. He said it's partly to rule out an infection in the lining but, more importantly, there's been research that shows increased IVF success rates post biopsy. Something to do with increased bloodflow or something they can't exactly explain- just better success. Has anyone else heard of this?  I initially didn't want to do it bec it seemed like just another costly test (we're among the lucky few with no ins coverage because of my age and fsh level) but if we're coming down to our last shot with IVF, maybe I should do anything that'll help.  Anyone else's RE mention a biopsy for this purpose?
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from Tangerine5. Show Tangerine5's posts

    Re: March 2011

    ALF, I'm also interested in your thoughts about the connection between human trafficking and fertility treatments. I think I know where it's going...but I also keep getting hung up on the fact that fertility treatments constitute one facet of modern medicine. It's all a continuum, but...I wear glasses because my eyes don't "naturally" function as well as they should. I want to be able to see. When I injured my foot, I got an x-ray and orthotics, because I wanted to be able to keep running. And since my (otherwise healthy) body doesn't have quite the hormonal balance it needs to ovulate regularly, I'm seeking treatment because, yes, I want to have a child. I feel fortunate to have the means to access the services I need to hopefully make it happen. I don't see that as "buying a baby." I do feel guilty about the fact that there are many women out there who can't afford the treatment I'm getting. But that guilt isn't going to stop me from doing what I can.

    Just my opinion, and I know that fertility/adoption are loaded subjects. But really, it all comes down to what a person is comfortable with, morally, philosophically, and financially.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: March 2011

    Tangerine, November and whoever else politely asked me for my thoughts on this subject, I don't see how further discussion of this is productive on this, or any other, thread.  I have my opinions and they clearly are not shared by the majority on this board. I don't care what anyone else thinks; they are my opinions and I'm not going to change them. No one who has posted trying to 'interpret' my thoughts has come even close to my train of thought. 

    However, I am not inclined to expand on this topic any further, either here or off line, as some asked.  I do, however, appreciate your polite requests and not being jumped on b/c I have a different and less popular opinion on certain topics. 
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from Winter2011Bride. Show Winter2011Bride's posts

    Re: March 2011

    I think it's a little out of line to call ALF a crazy.  Everyone is entitled to there opinion, some of what she is saying makes sense.  I am not a crazy either.  I am a mother of a 10-year old who had TTC issues and because of my own religious and other beliefs I would not have gone through IVF, but would have adopted though my first husband like Alf's wanted no part of it. 

    Myself I am not TTC nor will I be but I do look on the boards to see if I can ever be of help to someone who is. 
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: March 2011

    I agree, ALF is not crazy or deserving to be reported (or ignored, for that matter).

    As repugnant as it might sound, the price of adoption is significantly influenced by the age, race, nationality, health and whatever other intrinsic qualities of the child that the adoptive parents choose to specify and pay for. Maybe the thread got so ugly because we'd all like to think that good people would opt to adopt a crack baby or 10 year old with a developmental disorder as often as they'd go to an agency and pay big bucks to adopt a US newborn of a very specific profile.  Prices vary based on supply and demand - it's a law of economics.  Ugly?  Maybe, but human nature is what it is, and ALF isn't ugly for pointing it out.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: March 2011

    (I think if I copy and paste any portion of my posts during editing it gets pasted in bright white - I don't mean for that to happen.)
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from Novembride. Show Novembride's posts

    Re: March 2011

    ALF - I respect that.  I also respect you as a valuable contributor  always have. 

    tc - I see no need for you to apologize.  As an early poster mentioned (CG, I think), this is a place to discuss all aspects of TTC, including consideration of adoption.  I second your vote to shut this down and return to TTC land.  Unfortunately, I don't know anything about IVF and biopsy, but you have my support no matter what you decide to do.

    AFM - nothing to report.  Technically in the 2ww, but with little hope as DH was down and out with the flu during peak BD time.   
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: March 2011

    GL, Nov - you never know!  

    I'm in the 2ww, too...
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from SarahInActon. Show SarahInActon's posts

    Re: March 2011

    Just to clarify, I didn't call anyone in specific crazy.  I'm sure I can get called out plenty for falling in the same catagory.
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: March 2011

    Nope, you're not missing anything.  If you want to save money test only after you're a day after your longest cycle.  If you want to pee money into a cup (like I have been the last couple of days), start testing after your'e a day later than your shortest cycle.

    So, if your cycles are anywhere from 25 - 35 days, the frugal way is to test starting on day 36.  The expensive way is to start on day 26.  Whatever floats your budget boat!
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from amy-lynn. Show amy-lynn's posts

    Re: March 2011

    cicrose, even if you aren't charting, you can mark a calendar with the first day of your cycle (the day AF starts) and see if your cycles are regular, even if they are not 28 days like on the pill. It might take a few cycles to see a pattern, but I've found that it is helpful to have an idea of how long my cycle is, even if I don't know precisely when I ovulate.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from Novembride. Show Novembride's posts

    Re: March 2011

    Cici, welcome (officially) to TTC land! 

    I am the same as you - not charting/OPKing, etc, but observant of O signs, or at least what I believe to be O signs.  I couldn't remeber how long my cycles were before BC, so for the first two months, I figured on a 28 cycle, since that's average, and planned to test at day 35, if no AF by then, or if there were symptoms.  There is no scien or particular logic to my theory, but it gave me a timeline to work within.  Keep in mind that some people have no symptoms other than a missed period, and even then, some still bleed and are PG.   

     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from kiwigal. Show kiwigal's posts

    Re: March 2011

    cici, since you don't know if you've ovulated for sure or not, then general rule of thumb is to test when you'd normally expect your period. If that's negative, continue to test (weekly, if you're trying to save money--otherwise, have at it as often as you'd like) until you get a BFP or hit 60 days without a period. Most doctors will want to know if it's been 60 days and can prescribe something like Provera to jumpstart your cycle again if necessary.

    It can sometimes be frustrating "normalizing" after coming off BCP. Good luck.
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from Novembride. Show Novembride's posts

    Re: March 2011

    cicrose, even if you aren't charting, you can mark a calendar with the first day of your cycle (the day AF starts) and see if your cycles are regular, even if they are not 28 days like on the pill. It might take a few cycles to see a pattern, but I've found that it is helpful to have an idea of how long my cycle is, even if I don't know precisely when I ovulate.

    Good point.  I do this too.  I also mark the days I see O signs and the days we BD, for no partiuclar reason other than it may be useful information some day (dating a PG, going to an RE).  Haha, what a nerd - guess I am charting, just not temps. 
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from kiwigal. Show kiwigal's posts

    Re: March 2011

    cici, or anyone else at the beginning of the TTC process, I can't recommend the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler highly enough. It's incredibly informative and pretty much the TTC bible. It contains lots of information on all aspects of reading your fertilty and really explains the optimal ways to achieve a pregnancy.  Even my DH got a ton out of reading it. Definitely check it out!
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from Tangerine5. Show Tangerine5's posts

    Re: March 2011

    Hi cicirose - I don't have any specific advice for you, as I am ovulation-challenged...just wanted to say welcome!

    Kar and Nov - good luck in the 2ww! Here's hoping the luck 'o the Irish will result in BFPs for you.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from Novembride. Show Novembride's posts

    Re: March 2011

    Good luck to you, too cici!  The 2ww is so fun!  (rolls eyes)
     

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