May 2012 TTC

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts

    Re: May 2012 TTC

    First, LIL - congrats!  Saw that your new daughter arrived.  So excited.  I remember you announcing your second PG and so happy she is here.

    JL - are we living the same life?  My 3rd beta yesterday showed a doubling.  Went to 150 from 64.  I also started bleeding on Sunday and am sure that was the m/c.  Not to be graphic or TMI, but it wasn't just light red blood or spotting.  It was that thick, deep purply red, which I assume to be the lining (like I get with AF).  It was no where near as heavy as a period, and I'm back to wearing a pantyliner today as it had almost stopped yesterday.  But, I would be only 5 weeks, so I'm guessing it wouldn't be heavy at this point.  Going back again tomorrow.  Good grief.  I'm with you... will hate to grieve this twice, although I'm not expecting this to continue regardless.  Even if it slowly doubles, I can't imagine this is healthy PG.  I'm guessing the hormones just take a while to exit.. hence why we are getting the very slow double.  I'll keep my hopes up for you however :-)  One of us should get good news at least!
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: May 2012 TTC

    well, not to sound like an insane broken record, but my SIL very heavy bleeding every month she was pregnant and had healthy, naturally conceived twins.  If your hCG numbers are doubling there's reason for hope.  Some women's numbers double more slowly than others and it doesn't mean anything.  And, you know by now I'm the queen of btching about how bad false hope sucks.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from Daisy75. Show Daisy75's posts

    Re: May 2012 TTC

    Along the lines of what Kar has been saying...and I'm not her SIL...I had very heavy bleeding from ~week 6 - week 14 of my twin pregnancy.  I was assured over and over again that it was "normal" although everything I could find to read said it was not.  So, at some point, I had to just accept it and trust my doctors.  I did have a couple of ultrasounds where they looked at the blood flow and tried to determine where it was coming from and they weren't able to find it.  They told me this was good b/c if they knew where it was coming from, it would be bad news.  So I sucked it up and dealt with ~8 weeks of bleeding.  My twins just turned 3 on Saturday.

    I'm not trying to get your hopes up, but it is possible and normal to have heavy bleeding in the first trimester and not be miscarrying.  In my case, I was sure I hadn't ovulated b/c of "negative" OPKs (I was also on my 3rd round of clomid that cycle) was SHOCKED when the HPT was instantly positive on CD28, called the RE, had bloodwork that showed HCG to be on the high end of normal and doubling, made an appt for an ultrasound at 7 weeks, was CRUSHED at 6 weeks when I started bleeding, the REs office told me to come in for the u/s and they'd wait until afterward to do more bloodwork if necessary.  I went in dreading what the u/s would show and was expecting the worst so I couldn't believe it when the tech pointed out that I was pregnant with twins and there were no signs of miscarriage or anything "wrong."  So...it does happen.  Don't get your hopes up too much but just b/c you're bleeding doesn't mean m/c is inevitable.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from cicirose. Show cicirose's posts

    Re: May 2012 TTC

    So sorry to hear about the roller coaster rides ladies.

    IPW - with my early m/c the flow was not at all heavy but it lasted for like 2 weeks straight and I heard that is pretty common with m/c. I don't want to get your hopes up too high just in case but wanted to throw that out there.

    JL - how are you hanging in there? Any more news from the doctor?

    Hib - sorry to hear about your genetic issues. Hopefully with that information the doctors can help you achieve a healthy pregnancy.

    Good luck to everyone! 
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: May 2012 TTC

    Rising hCG with heavy bleeding is confusing and scary, but can be OK.  Thanks for adding your experience, too, misslily. 

    Down's is responsible for most m/c's (most fetuses with that defect are never born) and people have healthy pregnancies all the time afterwards.  There's tons of reason for hope that this will happen for Hib, too.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from clc51510. Show clc51510's posts

    Re: May 2012 TTC

    Again I don't want to add more false hope but I bleed, heavy period-like bleeding from just after ovulation (like 2 days after ovulation) until week 13.  I had ultrasounds at 3.5 weeks and 5 weeks where there was no heartbeat and they basically gave me no shot for a healthy pregnancy.  At 7.5 weeks there was a heartbeat and I'm now two days shy of 38 weeks.  It can happen.  As my doctor said, "Some women just bleed, you're one of them."  IPW and JL, I'm praying that both of you are in that group of bleeders with me.  Best of luck!

    Hib - sorry to hear of your results but happy that you're getting the information that you need to move forward.  I wish you the best of luck!

     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from jleighla7. Show jleighla7's posts

    Re: May 2012 TTC

    Well, my hcg levels today confirmed it was a m/c. They went from 93 to 23 in two days. I actually feel relieved, and I'm ready for a fresh start. My doctor said that if my hcg levels are back down to zero next week, I can start the Provera/Clomid cycle again then.

    I'm trying to take this as a positive sign that I can physically get pregnant. It was really the first cycle where I had an actual shot at getting pregnant (because as soon as we decided to start trying at the end of 2011, my period went away, go figure). 

    IPW - still holding out hope for you!!!
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from luckinlife. Show luckinlife's posts

    Re: May 2012 TTC

    Oh Jl I am sorry but I understand that at least you have your answer and can continue from there.  Thinking of you!

    IPW - I still hope everything works out for you!!
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from MissWolff. Show MissWolff's posts

    Re: May 2012 TTC

    Jlei- I am glad you are ok with the outcome. 

    IPW- Hope you are doing ok too!!

    (hugs to all)
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from Chiclet831. Show Chiclet831's posts

    Re: May 2012 TTC

    JL - I'm sorry that you're going through this. If there's any silver lining to this, it is that you can get pregnant! Yay! Did the doctor say anything about starting the Clomid earlier? Where you ovulated so late this cycle, I'm just wondering if you'd have more success if the Clomid kicked things off earlier? Just a thought...

    I feel like AF is right around the corner. This month's temp chart looks a lot like last month's. I had a big temp spike yesterday (highest ever) and then this morning was back down to about the same as the day before. Last month, that started a slow drop in temps until the spotting started and then eventually AF. I'm still holding out hope until AF shows up, but it's hard when things aren't looking so great. 

    I need to vent a bit. DH and I went to a party last night at his work and one of our good friends that he works with was there with his newborn. He's so over the moon about being a dad, which is great for him, but he won't shut up about when we're going to have kids. I thought I'd made it clear to him when he asked us when we visited him in the hospital that we weren't discussing it but now he just throws it around. Last night, he said something like, "Don't bother get a dog when you can have a baby." I know it's really upsetting DH because he sees him every day. I kind of want to flat out tell him that I'm infertile and he needs to keep his mouth shut in the future but I kind of don't want him to know either. I can keep my distance from him but DH obviously can't. He was thinking of emailing him to ask him to lay off. It's hard when you want to protect your own privacy but still shut down someone being so relentless.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: May 2012 TTC

    jl, so sorry the numbers confirm the worst outcome.   

    chicklet, that stinks people are so rude and obnoxious.  I think someone like that can be shut down, though, without giving ANY information away.  DH should tell him firmly, "I want you to stop talking to us about our familly plans."  There's a communication technique that works for "difficult people," repeat, repeat, repeat.  No matter what the guy says, your DH (or you if you're alone) can say, "I want you to stop talking to us about our family plans."  If you have to repeat it 100 times, make that the only thing you say when he brings it up or when he responds to it.  Say it over and over.  You'll sound like an idiot to yourself, BUT the fact is if you have to repeat yourself he's NOT HEARING you over and over.  He'll only hear you ONCE, and it will be the last time you ever have to say it.  It's a real technique, and it works.  I've used it my whole life to shut people up without saying anything I don't want to say.  Teach the phrase to DH so you both say the exact same thing every single time, and it will work that much quicker.

    ETA:  The conversation would literally look like this:

    Idiot:  Hey, Bob, when are you guys having a baby?!
    DH:  I want you to stop talking to us about our family plans.
    Idiot:  But, I want YOU to know the JOY I have!!
    DH:  I want you to stop talking to us about our family plans.
    Idiot:  Our baby is the light of our lives, and you need to get on the stick before it's too late.
    DH:  I want you to stop talking to us about our family plans.
    Idiot:  My wife is so happy since we had the baby, and Chicklet will be, too.
    DH:  I want you to stop talking to us about our family plans.
    Idiot:  Are you having some kind of trouble?
    DH:  I want you to stop talking to us about our family plans.
    Idiot:  You know, there's tons of things you can do...
    DH:  I want you to stop talking to us about our family plans.
    Idiot:  OK
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from jleighla7. Show jleighla7's posts

    Re: May 2012 TTC

    Thanks, everyone.

    Chiclet, my doctor didn't mention switching my Clomid days but I am thinking of asking her if I should take it on days 3-7 instead of 5-9. I'm sorry to hear about your hubby's co-worker. That is so rude! Another way to deal with rude people is to respond "That's a personal question. Why do you ask?" Hopefully he'll be taken aback and get the hint. But with people like that, who knows.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from clc51510. Show clc51510's posts

    Re: May 2012 TTC

    JL - I'm sorry to hear about your declining numbers.  I hope I didn't contribute to any false hope.  Good luck with the next round of clomid!

    Chiclet - I'm sorry for your encounter with your DH's coworker.  Personally I really like JL's approach.  I've been handling things the same way throughout my pregnancy.  In general I just say "well that's a really personal question" and leave it at that.  I don't offer any more information and in general the person apologizes or changes the subject.  Either response is fine with me as long as I don't get asked again.  Good luck handling this, I'm sure this is hard for both you and your DH.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: May 2012 TTC

    My repeat method works with any phrase you pick and for anything you want to shut down without being rude.  You can say what I suggested or something like clc said, "that's a personal question."  The key to the "SHUT UP Technique" is to say the agreed upon phrase in response to everything they say about it, no additional sentences or changes, not even in tone of voice.  Eventually, it dawns on them that that's all you're going to say about the subject and they drop it never to bring it up, again.  Hopefully, you only have to say it once, but if they persist, you just keep saying it the same way over and over until they get it.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from ml2620-2. Show ml2620-2's posts

    Re: May 2012 TTC

    Just checking in on you TTC ladies, so sorry to hear bad news but glad you are taking it in stride.

    Chicklet - I dealt with SO much of this. Honestly, I looked them right in the face and said "We've been trying for over a year, and I've been diagnosed with infertility." There is no shame in it, and I can't tell you how fast people shut up. I also found, within groups and family that this method stopped repeat performances as someone would inevitably spread the word. I've done the same thing with not being able to have another child, and thankfully have been spared the "So when are you going to have another?" Which honestly, would send me completely over the edge emotionally to have to say the word "never."

    But Kar and JLs methods are far more polite and private. :)
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts

    Re: May 2012 TTC

    JL - so sorry, but glad you at least got confirming news of what you expected and had already grieved.  So glad it happened naturally and you can move on to the next cycle.

    Chiclet - that really stinks.  So sorry.  Amazing the comments.  And if people only knew the reality how stupid they would feel.  I had a client keep telling me over and over to get PG again immediately because my kids needed to be close - he kept hounding me as if he were in fact part of my family and had a say.  I finally just told him the truth... probably only having one because my body s*cks and please drop it.

    So, nurse just called.  Speaking of s*cks.  My number went to 178.  So its creeping so slowly, making them believe its ectopic.  Going back in again for my 5th blood draw Friday and my height and weight to determine the dosage for the methotroxate injection.  What realy s*cks is all that comes with that injection.  Birth control for 2-3 months (fine..whatever, totally done with TTC), no folic acid in your diet at all (really hard), no sun, no alcohol until beta levels are zero (fine), no bding until zero, etc. etc.  I'm tempted to just have the surgery and have my tube removed.  Seems easier actually.  I'd still have one, and clearly unlikely to get or have a healthy PG again anyways.  Just s*cks.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: May 2012 TTC

    IPW, that does totally SUCCK...so sorry.  :(  
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from Chiclet831. Show Chiclet831's posts

    Re: May 2012 TTC

    IPW - I'm so sorry that your situation has gotten to this point. Will they do an ultrasound to determine if it really is ectopic or will they just go based on your number? Is there a chance that your numbers will start to go down on their own and you won't need the shot? 

    I appreciate everyone's advice. We're hosting a cookout this weekend that he's bringing his family to, so we'll see what happens then. I'm going to talk to DH about it tonight to make sure we're saying the same thing. I hate confrontation...
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: May 2012 TTC

    The method I offered assumes you don't want to tell them anything.  But, if like ml, if you decide to give anyone more of an personal answer, you're not being rude.  You have every right to decide exactly how much information (from zero to your whole life's story) you want to give anyone asking personal questions.  They are being rude by asking.  You aren't being rude by answering  no matter how much or little actual information you respond with.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from luckinlife. Show luckinlife's posts

    Re: May 2012 TTC

    IPW - I am so sorry you are going through this! I did have to laugh about your "my body sucks" comment.  So true how fertility issues make you feel that way!

    Chiclet - I have posted this before but as ML said, I feel there is no shame in infertility and the more normalized it becomes to talk about the better.  So I personally would just come out and say we have been trying for years and are dealing with infertility.  I find that is usually a conversation stopper and it also tends to spread the word so you are less inclined to be asked by others.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: May 2012 TTC

    IPW, that super succks that now you're going through the ectopic protocol. :( JL and Hib, I'm sorry that that shhitttiness is raining down on you too. 

    Chiclet, sometimes I'll just stare blankly at the person asking stupid questions as if I don't understand them, then either start with a complete non sequitur or just walk away. He's obviously not hearing you, so you don't need to hear him either. 
    I like Kar's suggestion the best, though. 

    Also, this is going to sound insane, but I've always had problems being assertive. Moving to Boston has forced me to learn how to do it and now I have a method. It's completely ridiculous but it's done wonders for me. Remember that youtube honey badger video? I have adopted the mantra "honey badger don't care." A cab cut me off and nearly ran me off the road the other day, then he stopped and started yelling at me. I rolled down my window and screamed, "HONEY BADGER DON'T CARE!" at him. He looked terrified and drove away. I'm not saying to scream this in the face of your friend, just find a mantra to repeat to yourself (inside your head) that makes you feel empowered. I unillatereally hate cab drivers so I decided to scream out loud, but you get the idea. :) (I swear I'm not really a crazy person.)

    AFM, I did the 5 days of provera...and I got AF today! High five! This may be TMI, but it's definitely old blood (which is probably normal because it's been almost six months). I'm hoping this will reset everything and we can start *really* trying now. 
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: May 2012 TTC

    Also, Kar, I just saw your blankets on the other thread and they look awesome. I'm sure your friend will love them!

     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: May 2012 TTC

    Thanks, HB. ;) 

    I think whatever amount of information someone is personally comfortable sharing is the right amount of information to share.
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from jleighla7. Show jleighla7's posts

    Re: May 2012 TTC

    IPW - I am so, so sorry to hear about the ectopic situation. Good luck with your decision re: injection vs. surgery. This really has been the worst week, hasn't it?!

    WPP - LOL about honey badger. I'm going to watch the youtube video again b/c I'm in need of a laugh today. And I'm so happy to hear about AF! Are you going to start temping? I find it super helpful.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts

    Re: May 2012 TTC

    WPP - yay!  yahoo... finally.  Great news.

    Doc wants one more blood draw tomorrow morning and will also do an u/s, although at beta 178, can't imagine they will see anything.  My SIL (a nurse) said best chance scenario would be to see an empty sack in the uterus... but I'm not holding out much hope. 

    BTW, I had no idea you can say suck on here.  Awesome!
     
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