October TTC

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    October TTC

    Time for some  October action here. Glad I can finally log in, even though I can't see a cursor when I type.


    Congrats again to Amy-Lynn! 

    SS, how are your steps going?

    Going back to the doctor on Oct 17. I'm hoping there aren't anymore surprises and we can start the clomid. I'm nervous about fitting all of the upcoming doctors' visitsaround work--because my work is client-based and calling out means canceling on a client--but that's life and there's really not much I can do about it.

    I was getting a little fatalistic and freaked out about the clomid working, but my SIL talked me off my ledge and I just have to be cautiously optimistic.Clomid works for about 85% of people and I'm trying to trust that we'll be some of them.

    Sorry for the weird formatting; aside from an imaginary cursor, BDC is randomly changing words for me with an ever-so-unhelpful autocorrect.

  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from Chiclet831. Show Chiclet831's posts

    Re: October TTC

    WPP - I can absolutely sympathize with your fears about Clomid not working. Honestly, I wouldn't say it worked for me, but I probably wouldn't have gotten pregnant without it. It worked in that I think it made my body remember to ovulate so that I was able to do ovulate on my own. But it thinned my lining out so much that I was never going to get pregnant on an actual Clomid cycle. I don't think I'm the only one that's happened to. So if you are one of the 85%, yay! If not, don't lose too much hope! Did the doctor tell you how many rounds they would let you try?

  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from Chiclet831. Show Chiclet831's posts

    Re: October TTC

    One more thing I was just thinking about the Clomid... If it does thin out your lining  or your CM (I think that happens to like 30% of users), you can buy a vitamin supplement on Amazon called FertileCM for $20. I took it on my last Clomid cycle and the month after and I thought it helped. I'll never be sure if it's what made the difference for me, but I'm sure it didn't hurt.

  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: October TTC

    So DH is deployed.  He calls me and tells me he is fine but just had a round of testing b/c his blood tests kept coming back abnormal. Now, he works w/ nuclear material so this is rather worrisome.  He's had abnormal counts for a while, apparently, but no one thought to follow up on it. Until he is freaking deployed. Nice.  Thankfully, he is fine, but gee, wonder why we haven't been able to get pg?  And here I was thinking it was solely b/c I was old.  Argh.

    I'm fine about it and, thankfully, I don't think he's made the connection.  I hope he doesn't b/c then he will feel even worse about our lack of a kid.  And it's a good thing he was thousands of miles away b/c I would have doped slapped him into next week had he kept something like that from me while still at home.  Grrrrrrrr.  Why are men so secretive about this stuff? 

  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: October TTC

    Ohhh ALF, I'm sorry that you and your DH got such scary test results, especially when he's so far away. They know he's okay, though? Are the tests normal now?

    My DH does stuff like that too: he had a weird cyst that kept disappearing and coming back even larger for about 6 months before he told me about it and I made him see a doctor. They ended up removing it. Seriously, why are men so weird about medical care?

    Chiclet, I remember reading about your reaction to clomid and the label also talks about thinning CM. I was looking at pre-seed on Amazon. Is it similar to the FertileCM? I know there are only two or three chances on clomid and I want to pad the results as much as possible, even if I'm going overboard.

    I did a stupid thing today. I went on BabyCenter and typed in the approximate conception date after we start clomid to see what the due date would be. Soooo duummmbbb. Bad Peas. Bad, bad Peas. 

  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from siena09. Show siena09's posts

    Re: October TTC

    SS--hope your cycle is going well and you enjoyed SD!  :D

    WPP--clomid is an exciting step forward for you!  I have everything crossed that it gets you your BFP quickly!  

    I get your fears though of things just never working out. It's a tough process and I think that is a normal fear.  My DH has been urging me to be less pessimistic, and I've been trying to adjust.  I find it hard to calibrate things just right-- to be pessimistic enough that AF doesn't crush me every time, optimistic enough that I don't feel dragged down and start resenting every baby and pg woman in the world.  DH keeps reminding me that we are far from the end of our road. 

    I'm in the 2ww again, so just waiting.  The last two weeks have been really emotionally hard for me.  I marked one year since my first pregnancy loss, and someone close to me had a baby, which stirred up a lot of grief and traumatic flashbacks to being on the labor & delivery ward a year ago.  I'm feeling a bit better now.  Just need to keep trucking.

  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from jleighla7. Show jleighla7's posts

    Re: October TTC

    WPP - Good luck with Clomid! I so hope it works for you. Like Chiclet, I would sort of say Clomid worked for me, as I got pg both cycles I used it (and then miscarried..). But on the bright side, I ovulated on my own and got pg the first cycle after using Clomid, so I think it may have reminded my body how to ovulate as well. As for preseed, I bought it but never used it, as the Clomid didn't dry up my CM. I think Fertile CM is similar to preseed. I've heard a little of that stuff goes a long way! Oh, and I suggest taking the Clomid at night to avoid mood swing issues (which apparently can be a side effect, though I didn't find it affected my mood at all).

    Siena - I'm sorry to hear you're having a tough time emotionally, and I definitely hear you on having a hard time trying to balance optimism and pessimism. It sounds like your DH is a good support system for you. Here's hoping this month is your month!  

  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: October TTC

    Thanks WPP.  We just know he doesn't have cancer.  He didn't have any other testing done.  If he were home, I'd have him go and get another SA.  No sense in doing it while he's away.  I'll mention it before I go and visit him in the Spring. No sense in having a mid-tour pg only to find out that there is something wrong w/ it.  As much as he wants a child, I doubt he wants Chernobyl baby.  No clue if he can even get that testing.  The military only will test to ensure that there is no cancer so they are not liable for him contracting cancer on the job. I doubt they care about anything else. 

  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: October TTC

    Hi, ladies,

    WPP, best wishes on the clomid route.  Trust yourself to stop googling; you've already researched it, talked with your doc, and decided to go that route.  Post-decision googling raises your cortisol level every time, and what is the benefit?  Instead, trust yourself and your decision-making ability.

    Fertile cm is a nutritional supplement designed to support cm production, not a lubricant.

    ALF, how scary for you guys re dh's health!  Thank God he doesn't have cancer, but omg, you've been ttc for so long.  What a stunning revelation.  

    Siena, indeed, you know my feelings about hope...she's a crusher. :(  best to you this cycle and as you work through the hope/reality tightrope.

    afm, still in limbo with knowing dh would be devastated to have a chromosomally damaged child but is unwilling to stop trying to conceive despite our being in the high risk age group.  Sigh.  Time marches on and doesn't improve the situation.  And, I'm in the 2ww feeling like PMS is coming on.  Good for dh that he's on a business trip, lol.

    best to everyone in October!

  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from Chiclet831. Show Chiclet831's posts

    Re: October TTC

    WPP - Kar already mentioned it but Preseed is just a topical lubricant where FertileCM is a pill containing some vitamins and amino acids that's meant to help increase CM and thicken your lining so that an embryo can implant. We used the Preseed in the beginning, but I really needed help with the lining too and obviously I wasn't going to get that with a topical cream. The doctors said that all my spotting was due to the thin lining. It doesn't happen to everyone and hopefully it doesn't happen to you. But if you get a few days of spotting like I did, I would suggest you try the FertileCM.

    Oh, and as far as the due dates go, as soon as I got AF every month, DH and I would make a list of why it's cool to have a birthday in the month of our next potential due date. You know, what kind of birthday party they could have, who they would share their birth month with, what their astrological sign could be, that kind of thing. For me, it was kind of like, "So we can't have a February baby, but we can have an awesome March baby instead." 

    ALF - I'm sorry to hear about your DH's blood work. That's pretty scary.

    Good luck to everyone in the 2ww. Siena, I hope your week gets better! Sounds like it's been a tough one.

  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: October TTC

    Siena, sorry about your c r a ppy week. :( 

    I saw on the pregnancy boards that MissWolff had an m/c...MW, if you're reading, I'm so sorry for you and your DH.

    Thanks for the distinction between pre-seed and FertileCM. I ordered some of the FertileCM off of Amazon (and I read your review, Chiclet!). And Chiclet, I'm happy to see that we are kindred, crazy spirits :) 

    I started reading this kind of self-help book, "Unsung Lullabies," which is pretty good so far. It's not all Dr.Phil-self-helpy, and it articulates some of the more panicky, unhinged things I've been thinking and now wanting to vocalize. It's making me a little calmer.

    ALF, I hope they figure out what's going on with your DH. You have to promise to tell us if he was bitten by a radioactive spider or something. Maybe you'll have Incredibles babies instead of Chernobyl babies.

  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from fakinbacon. Show fakinbacon's posts

    Re: October TTC

    Just wanted to pop in and say hello to everyone!  I'm back from my 3 week trip abroad, which was great, but now I need a vacation from the vacation!

    I also wanted to thank you ladies for all of the AF cramping advice - everything you told me really seemed to work during this trip - which was very important to me because I was traveling mainly on bike so I couldn't stop and take it easy if I needed to.  Happily, my cramps were barely there with all of the advice you provided to me.

    Now that I kind of checked that trip off of my bucket list, I'm going to setup an appointment with an RE to talk about my genetics and all of the options (even though I already know them, it'll get us started in the process).

    Also good luck to everyone this month!  I know a lot of you started treatments and are in the 2WW so I hope everything works out positively for you.  Also, Alf, I hope your DH's results are just abnormally normal.

  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from SSBride09. Show SSBride09's posts

    Re: October TTC

    San Diego was great and was so busy with work last week.  Sorry I haven't checked in much, looks like I missed a lot!


    MissWolf, SO SO sorry to hear about the mc.  We started trying at the same time and I've been rooting for you.  We'll be here for you when you get back on the ttc wagon.


    WPP, hope the time flies by until your doctors appointment and you get to start the Clomid.


    Alf, sorry about the scary test results for DH but so glad no cancer!


    Siena, I get the same lectures from my DH lately about staying positive. I generally a glass half full type of person naturally, but after getting nothing but bad news after bad news since we started ttc I hear ya on needing to balance that with some realism (and maybe even some pessimism) to keep my sanity.

  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from stefani2. Show stefani2's posts

    Re: October TTC

    alf - that is incredible.  keep us posted.  good grief!!!  :(

    kar, you must be exhausted by the roller coaster month after month.  i know you don't get your hopes up, and you are "eh" about having a baby at this point anyway (i think? don't mean to speak for you and hope i'm not offending) but it still must take a huge emotional toll on you, waiting for AF and not knowing what's coming...  have you considered talking to DH about stopping?  not sure if you're ready to stop, but it seems like you're getting closer and closer to that point.  ??

    wpp, i took clomid thru BWH and i never had US montioring or anything.  maybe there's an option to not do it?  though i'm sure if it's going to possibly help your chances you'll want to do it.  GL.  it worked for me the 2nd month and i hope it does the same for you!  (i was devastated when it didn't work the first month...)

  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from siena09. Show siena09's posts

    Re: October TTC

    SSBride--it's an emotional tightrope indeed.

    WPP--glad you found a useful book.  It can be helpful sometimes just to hear some of my crazy feelings reflected back.  It makes me feel less crazy.

    FB--glad the cramps were under control and you enjoyed the vacation.  Hope you have a good RE appt soon!

    kar--I agree with stefani that it sounds very stressful.  I'm always impressed by the warmth and positivity you bring to this board (including the pg and infant/toddler threads too) after such a long TTC road.  I hope you and DH are able to find a path that brings you both peace.  I agree that if you are emotionally/mentally ready to close the door on this, given everything, then that seems like it would be the much easier path at this point.  

    The past several days have been up and down, but steadier than the week before. Watched my DH holding a tiny newborn and cried.  But today I worked from home (due to the holiday), was feeling invigorated after a good yoga class, holding my puppy and then my cat on my lap, going down my to do's and feeling like for today, this is enough. One day at a time. 

  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from SSBride09. Show SSBride09's posts

    Re: October TTC

    ... sorry my boston.com page is acting up so here's the rest of my post...



    Chiclet, that is so cute that you and DH pyche yourselves up for the next month with the due dates.  I always look anyway so I think I'll try that.  We need something to keep us going at this point.



    Fakin, welcome back and hope you get that RE appt really soon.


  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from SSBride09. Show SSBride09's posts

    Re: October TTC

    Jeez... boston.com is really acting up on me today.  Sorry for the weird posting.

    So my timing with my trip and IVF cycle ended up working out perfectly and I got AF the day after I returned.  Then my baseline ultrasound was fine (no cysts) so they let me start.  Finally something went well for once! 

    Today is day 7 of doing the stimulation med shots.  I had an monitoring u/s and bloodwork yesterday.  Things are moving along VERY slowly (no measurable follicles yet and E2 only 117).  I cried yesterday because the attending doctor (not my RE since it was Sunday) called with my results and said things were progressive too slowly but I had to keep on my current dosages since that is the max my clinic will prescribe and to go back tuesday and my RE would talk to me then.  That doesn't sound very promising and I'm not sure what else they can do for me if my body just continues to refuse to respond. 

    I guess all I can do for now though is keep doing what I'm doing until they tell me its not worth it anymore.

  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from siena09. Show siena09's posts

    Re: October TTC

    Ohh--I'm so sorry SSBride.  I will hold out hope that the response to these drugs improves a lot and you can move forward.  I'll be thinking about you, and hoping your RE has a good outlook tomorrow. Your last sentence is exactly right--just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other--but it can still be really really hard.  

  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: October TTC

    Stef and siena, thank you so much for your warm, supportive thoughts - I really appreciate it (and everything you said about how I feel is correct, no worries!).  

    I do love kids so much and am pleased and honored to hear my participation can be helpful in Parents. :)  At the same time, I appreciate many things about our child-free family that would be forever traded for having a baby. I have spent a lot of time with my friend who has triplet babies and a two yo, and I cry when I leave, not from sadness, but from the joy of having the privilege of being invited into their home to take some of the constant burden off her shoulders now and again and having the ability to "take over" in her kitchen and to interact effectively with the babies and toddler.  If I had my own kids to take care of, I wouldn't be able to be there.  And, who is to say I could handle my own?  I have a bent toward major depression (an obvious high risk for PPD), and I get migraines (severe and debilitating) when my sleep is interrupted among other triggers.  This friend, on the other hand, has the stamina and health (emotional and physical) of an ox, thankfully.  To envy her would be to make two big mistakes: to dismiss our differences as they would relate to parenthood and to superimpose how her family is handling it onto my idea of how it would be for us.

    I hope that not only will everyone here get everything they hope for while ttc but that life will turn out how you expect and imagine it will if and when you do.  It can and does happen even after many trials, tribulations, and great losses along the way.  And, in the meantime, I wish everyone peace as you hope and work toward a healthy pregnancy, however you choose to do so and through every disappointment.

  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from SSBride09. Show SSBride09's posts

    Re: October TTC

    Well said kar!  Despite my awful impatience with the whole ttc process I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and it will all work out in the end.   I have a lot of mental illness that runs in my family and a sister that is cognitively delayed.  Sometimes I wonder if my ttc struggles are really meant to save me from a life of constant struggles with a child with disabilities.  Right now I'm pursuing the ivf course whole heartedly, but if it doesn't work out after giving it my best shot I will take it as a sign that my genetics should not be passed along.

  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts

    Re: October TTC

    I wanted to extend my condolences to MissWolf as well.  Really sorry for the bad news - I hope Siena and you have connected and you we're able to get some advice.  I found her incredibly helpful when I was going through my m/c.  Thank you again Siena!

    My cousin just g-chatted me that she is 7 weeks pg.  She will be 40 this weekend, just moved to Singapore with her 3 year old son and nanny.  Her husband works in Saudi and they see each other every 3 months or thereabouts.  I'm not kidding when I say this... she had sex once and got PG with her son... and this time, same thing.  Once.  ONCE.  I don't know why but I am really affected by her news.  I'm happy for her of course, but her "what a f*&g surprise" and "all you need is one time" just sunk my heart.  She totally knows I've been trying now for over a year for #2.  Knows about my m/c and my internal struggle about having a second because of need for intervention.  Now I know it is not about me at all... and she totally should have said what she said because this news she gave me was about her and her family, and not me.  But... just totally ruined my morning.

  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from SSBride09. Show SSBride09's posts

    Re: October TTC

    IPW, I completely understand.  I went out on Saturday night with some of my girlfriends from college and one of them announced she's pregnant with twins!  She got pregnant the very first month with her DS who is now 2.  This time around same thing... first month she drops two eggs and get twins.  The worst part was when she told me when she found out she cried for a whole week.  She always wanted only 2 kids not 3.  It took everything in my power to not cry at that moment or ask her for one of her babies.

    In all fairness she doesn't know what I've been going through since we're not that close... but still. 

  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: October TTC

    IPW, I think it was totally insensitive of her to emphasize how it only took one time given she's aware of all you're going through...sorry she did that.  And, SS, it must have been hard to hear anyone say she's sad that she has too many kids, an odd thing for her to admit to someone she's not that close to.

  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from MissWolff. Show MissWolff's posts

    Re: October TTC

    Hi siera-  12:43pm, it's me!

  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from siena09. Show siena09's posts

    Re: October TTC

    IPW and SSBride--sorry you had to hear those comments.  I completely understand why they were upsetting to you.  I wish people would be more sensitive.  I think I will be the most tightlipped pregnant lady on the planet if I ever make it to the point of "announcing".  But it makes me wonder if there are other arenas in life where I'm being insensitive to others without being aware of it.

    IPW--I hope you are doing okay with respect to TTC and deciding if you want to pursue further interventions.

    kar--your friend is so lucky to have such a generous and supportive friend as you. 

    ETA: misswolff--I'll go read your message.  thanks for letting me know!