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Some IVF Advice please

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts

    Some IVF Advice please

    Hello All,
    Would love some advice and thoughts from those who have done IVF.  As a reminder, I have very high FSH (21) but I am ovulating monthly with normal cycles.  My DH had an "irregular" SA in that his numbers are lower than they call normal or good, but he does have swimmers..and a few that swim straight even :-).  I chatted with the nurse today and had a really good talk.  She said because of our age (me, 37 and dh, 41) and our numbers, we would be approved for ICSI IVF by insurance, but only one time.  I'd have to check with my insurance, but I'm going to go with that for now.  She also said because of my age, they'd only put two back max.

    We don't have to decide right this second, so I'm just starting to wrap my mind around it.

    As many know, I do have a 17 mth old son (a complete miracle since these numbers and irregularities didn't creep up on us overnight).  If this were for our first, I do feel like I'd absolutely give it a shot.  I'm struggling a bit since it would be for our second (and hopefully not second and third - not because that wouldn't be a blessing but I think way more than I can handle/afford).

    Am I tempting fate here?  I feel blessed to have DS.  I can't even imagine the disappointment of going through everything (hormones, shots, retrieval, appointments, etc) for the negative beta knowing that was it.  And that would be it as we don't have thousands for more rounds unfortunately.  As it is, we are so lucky to be in MA where infertility is often covered.

    Anways... I'm babbling.  Would love to hear thoughts, experiences, how bad/good is the process, shots, hormones, etc.  I know data is just data, but how many had good news after just one round?  Has anyone done ICSI?  By any chance does that up your odds?

    Thanks ladies.
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from clc51510. Show clc51510's posts

    Re: Some IVF Advice please

    IPW - I have not gone through IVF so I can't comment but I wanted to say that I'm sure this is a really hard decision for you and your DH and I wish you the best of luck.

    As for asking if you're tempting fate, while easier said then done, I wonder if you and DH could approach this process with the mindset that you already have your miracle baby and while a second baby would be a blessing you can be happy with your family of three.  I'm not saying that's a stance I think I could take personally, I think I would go in with that mindset and still be crushed if IVF didn't work but you know best what will work for you and your DH.  No matter what you decide I wish you all the best of luck!
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from Antimony79. Show Antimony79's posts

    Re: Some IVF Advice please

    Hi IPW,

    I haven't posted in forever, but my LO is around the same age as yours.  I posted a couple times early on in my pregnancy but haven't since. Your post inspired me to pop on and give you my opinions though :).  I lurk a lot though, so I know what you have been going through (I hope that doesn't sound too creepy!!!)

    For me my prescription coverage covered the meds, which is about half the cost, so we were able to save on insurance limits that way.  I thought MA was required to provide $15,000 for infertility (I could totally be wrong on this), but if your prescription coverage will cover meds, you should, if needed, be able to get 2 rounds.

    We went through a round of IVF and then a round of IVF with ICSI.  We had no fertilization with the first round which is why we did ICSI with the second with our DD as the result.  After we got fertilization the embryos were actually frozen because they felt that conditions in my body were not ideal, which ended up working out well because I developed OHSS and it resolves much quicker when you are not preggo.  I know some insurance companies will not cover ISCI, mine did, but if I remember correctly it would have been a $800 charge to do ICSI if insurance didn't cover it, totally worth it in my opinion.  To me there really is no reason not to do ICSI, I wish our RE had talked to us about it prior to our first round.  I know our issues didn't indicate that ISCI would be necessary, but honestly I would have paid the $800 for additional piece of mind, especially when you think about the overall cost of IVF.

    Looking back on everything now it really just seems like a distant memory.  I have no regrets what so ever about having gone through all the shots, appointments, blood draws, procedures.  Honestly what worked for me was just taking it day by day, on the days when I thought about everything coming up in the next month or so it was overwhelming, or if I thought about how long or how many shots I would have to be doing if it was successful was also overwhelming.

    If you want a second child I wouldn't think twice about doing IVF, as long as you have no physical or moral reasons that are holding you back.  I always felt like why change what your life plans are based on something that essentially is over and done with in a matter of a couple months?

    My issues are different than what yours are (, so I do not know if that changes success rates, but I consider our attempt very successful especially when you talk to some people who have been through many many rounds, 2 is not so bad!!

    We are currently trying to decide what our next steps will be as far as if we want to do IVF for #2.  We haven't been preventing for a while just seeing if anything would happen, but I don't think we will be that lucky so we have been throwing out IVF again.  I'm not sure if I want to go down that path again, but I have also always felt I would be happy with only 1 child, it would be more for her than for us, but it is something we have been talking about.  Maybe we'll be going through it at the same time :).

    Anyway in short, if 2 children is something you guys have always wanted then definitely go for IVF.  It's obviously no guarantee but you don't want to ask yourself the what ifs down the line if you don't try.
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from luckinlife. Show luckinlife's posts

    Re: Some IVF Advice please

    IPW - so hard!  I think Antimony hit the nail on the head.  If you really want to have another child I would go for it.   The shots, procedures are really nothing to worry about.  However, I was surprised having had a child how a failed cycle still affected me more than I would have thought.  It is still emotional for sure.

    The tempting fate part - I think we have all probably thought that at some point.  Believe me, I did with IVF too but at the same time I knew I wanted children. The odds are definitely in your favor that everything will be ok. 

    Are they only approving one cycle b/c of insurance limits or b/c of your FSH?  Sometimes they will approve less (usually they will approve up to six) because they feel your chances are better with donor.   I would look into that rationale.  I would be surprised if they really only covered one cycle.

    I think the whole not having regrets thing is important.  If this is something you both really want, I would hate for you to look back and say what if.

    For me, even if I never was blessed to get pregnant, at least in my mind I know that I left no stone unturned.  That personally helped me.  Others would think I was crazy for doing all that I did.

    I don't know if you ever plan on considering donor - I will say one thing (although I have said before I think going to donor can be a harder decision when you already have one child).  Sometimes it can give you more options.  I.e. b/c I used donor and had so many frozen embryos I had a choice to put back only one b/c I had more left over.  Of course, not all donors give such a great response and you could find yourself having to put back more than one embryo.

    I always felt with TTC that if I could just be assigned a fate, I could live with it.  Nowadays there are so many options which on one hand is such a blessing and I wouldn't have DD without these options.  But, at the same, time it is so much less straightforward and it leaves you having to make some really tough decisions!

  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts

    Re: Some IVF Advice please

    Thanks all... this is really great feedback, advice and explanations for what you went through.  LIL, the nurse said I'd only be approved for one, with ICSI, because our ages, poor numbers and being the clear definition of an "infertile" couple.  From what I've read, my FSH is off the charts high for being 37.  And DH is low on all the variables (although just below normal... not as low as possible).  So as one who used to analyze healthcare data for a former job, I know they do everything based on odds... so approving only one means they expect our odds are very low (at least I'm assuming that.)  I should probably call them and actually get the real info.  The nurse did say if I was 40 with these numbers, they wouldn't approve anything because they'd expect zero success (except donor probably).

    The nurse said also due to my age, they would be very careful not to overstimulate me, and ideally would hope for 4-5 eggs at retrieval.  Stories I've read show women getting 10-15 and then having sometimes less than half fertilize.  So not sure I'd have any leftover for freezing, and therefore another less expensive cycle.  But as we all know, it really only takes one great embryo!

    Antimony, thanks so much for sharing your story (I do remember you!  And no, not creepy at all :-).  I am sorta where you are on the second.  I think it would be great, and I'd be thrilled, but I'm not pining every night for a second.  It would be very much for DS to have a sibling.  I was at a birthday party this past weekend with 3 PG women (all seconds or thirds) and I was actually totally ok and happy hearing about their stories.  No pangs of jealousy other than "that would be so fun and cool again."  I just don't want to mess with this good, healthy place I seem to be in right now.

    DH and I talked last night and we agreed to keep talking.  We know we are blessed and don't take that for granted.  
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from Antimony79. Show Antimony79's posts

    Re: Some IVF Advice please

    That's frustrating about limiting how many cycles you can do.  I never realized that insurance companies had the ability to do that.  I always thought "OK I have 30,000 in infertility coverage I can use it however I want", but I guess that's not so!!  Although now that I think about it when we had fertilization failure and we were talking with the RE he did caution against exploring why we had fertilization failure because it might change whether or not insurance would cover us.  My issues were with endo, PCOS, and a blocked fallopian tube, with a questionable other fallopian tube (the dye passed through, but it apparently it didn't flow "well").  When we had the fertilization failure they said it seemed like a combination of an egg and sperm issue, I never really questioned it at the time because I was a mess, and then we just dove right into another cycle, plus with the caution from the RE I just never really inquired about it.

    IPW I'm with you on not feeling jealous when I see friends having #2 or #3, but even when DH and I were trying and then going through IVF I never really had any resentment towards pregnant women or avoided baby showers etc...

    I feel like DH and I have been talking about #2 pretty much every other week for close to a year, but now I'm getting to the point as DD gets older that I feel like we NEED to make a decision.  We wanted to have them 2 years apart, which we have already passed that window, but now I'm thinking OK now no more than 3 years apart.  It's funny we will be 75% for having another child and then something will happen, like DD was sick for an entire week a few weeks ago and couldn't go to daycare, with both of us working it makes it hard, then I think geesh if we had 2 and the second got sick it seems impossible to manage that, but then I have to remind myself that like IVF, stuff like that is temporary and we shouldn't change our family plan based on that.  It's a tough decision.  For us it's also complicated because I had a really hard labor, ended up hemorrhaging and needing a couple blood transfusions, and I guess once that happens the chance of it happening again are high.  My Dr doesn't seem overly concerned about it though so I just have to keep telling myself he wouldn't be on board with us having #2 if he thought it would be too risky...

  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from Tangerine5. Show Tangerine5's posts

    Re: Some IVF Advice please

    IPW, you've probably already throught through all the insurance possibilities, but just in case...I was gearing up to start IVF last summer after it looked like my 6th cycle of meds + IUI was going to fail. We got the blessing of a surprise bfp, but I'd been doing my homework on the financial/insurance ramifications of IVF. We're on my plan, which has a lifetime max of $25k toward fertility treatments - so I figured we could do 2 rounds of IVF before maxing out. Then if necessary, we'd planned to switch to DH's insurance. Is that an option for you? Since MA mandates some form of IF coverage, hopefully between your two plans (assuming you each have one available), you might have the option to try another round. Good luck with your decision!
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from luckinlife. Show luckinlife's posts

    Re: Some IVF Advice please

    One other thought IPW - I bet if you did do well with stimulation and had a good retrieval that they could appeal for another round if needed. 
    I think my FSH was 14 when I started the IVF process and even though I did not stim well at all on "massive doses of medication" per my RE I had six cycles approved and I think did 5.  They also covered all of my donor costs except for the actual cost of the donor.  I was 37 at the time.  We did not have a male factor though at all.
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from stefani2. Show stefani2's posts

    Re: Some IVF Advice please

    not sure if what i'm adding has any relevance, but as you all prob. know i have twins, and just had a MC with #3.  after my MC i found myself feeling SO BLESSED that i had twins the first time and not just one baby, because for me the "pressure" was off b/c i already had two (b/c i wanted more than 1 child) - what a reversal from when i first found out i was having twins!  and also, having the MC was a little disappointing but b/c of my children it wasn't devastating.  also, i completely forget that i took clomid the first round and now looking back am so glad i did what i could to have a baby (or two!).  so... i guess what i'm trying to say is if you want more than one child or think you'll have regrets, i think you should go for it.  if it works out, great.  if it doesn't, like LIL said you won't have left any stone unturned, and you'll never feel that "what if," and if you're lucky like i was with my MC (not that part), it won't be as horrible an experience if it doesn't work out than it might have been if you had no children.  and for antimony, wondering about adding a 2nd and how that will disrupt life with one - yes, it will be different but as someone who's never had just one, i'd say - don't let it hold you back!!!  GL.

  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from tomarra. Show tomarra's posts

    Re: Some IVF Advice please

    IPW, I agree with everyone else's posts.  It's something that you and your DH need to think about.  If you guys decide try it I would be happy to share some tips I learned along the way.  Plus I in the northshore and had most of my treatment at Mass general in Danvers.
    Try to not just focus on your numbers and odds.  I'm 34, with PCOS and FSH of 5 While DH is 39 with a good sperm count sperm when we went our 1st IVF.  We were expecting good results and about 8 to 6 fertilized eggs.  They ended is removing 18 eggs about only 4 fertilized.  We transferred two and the other two did make it.  We just found Monday that we are expecting one.  Our heart ached a bit we only heard there was one.  But we lucky to at least a have a chance with one.