what did i do wrong?

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from stefani2. Show stefani2's posts

    what did i do wrong?

    AF came today, 14 days exactly after i noticed my temp rise on 7/17.  we bd'd on sunday the 12, tuesday the 14, thursday the 16, and then got the rise on the 17th.  i thought for sure i had 'covered' the critical times - how did i miss the window?  thanks for any thoughts.  (i know, i'm not the only person to NOT conceive in a given month - so i shouldn't be a crybaby like this...) 

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: what did i do wrong?

    You didn't do anything wrong and didn't miss the window, most likely.  There are many factors other than timing in conception.  The quality of the egg is a big one.  One little chromosomal defect, and it's not viable.  Or, the sperm that makes it isn't viable.  The list of interferances goes on and on.

    The fact that anyone conceives is a miracle, really.

    So, rest easy, you didn't do anything wrong, and I urge you to lower your expectations.  You'll be very disappointed every month if you don't.  Also, read up on what has to happen for conception other than the obvious.  The facts will be comforting because it will explain why it doesn't just happen even if you time it just right.

    You are not being a baby, but your expectations are too high based on a fairly limited understanding of the complicated system of conception from what I can surmise from your posts.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from blushingbride1. Show blushingbride1's posts

    Re: what did i do wrong?

    No worries Stef, you didn't do anything wrong...  TTC can take time, that's all.  I've read that couples who aren't dealing with fertility issues only have about a 20% chance of getting pregnant every month.  If there are fertifility issues involved though, that % goes down.  How many months have you been TTC?  Just give it some time...  You're also going to see a specialist next week correct?  Hopefully they can give you some more answers.

     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: what did i do wrong?

    And, that 20% goes down as you age.   It's 20% until about age 28, I think.  After that, the age of the eggs impacts their chromosomal integrity more.  So, conception rate goes down and miscarriage rate goes up.

    Not trying to be a downer, but realistic expectations never hurt anyone more than disappointment stemming from being naive.

    Oh, yeah, I forgot you are seeing a specialist.  Ask him/her to explain the hurdles in getting pg even if you don't have any health/fertility issues at all.  I think you'll be surprised at how much has to happen before a BFP stays that way for for the first trimester.  It's quite a feat of nature, really.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from onecoolchick. Show onecoolchick's posts

    Re: what did i do wrong?

    Stef - Maybe you should consider getting the book Taking Control of your Fertility.  Many women on this board find it to be a great resource in TTC.   I can't say from personal experience becuase I didn't read it.  I agree with Kar you should try not to be disappointed because it could take several months. 
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: what did i do wrong?

    It could have been b/c the moon was retrograde or b/c you wore blue shoes that day.  Seriously!  It could have been any number of silly factors. There  is only a small chance you are going to get pg during that window - it's not a guarantee that you will get pg if you bd during that time, have met all optimal conditions and are 19 and healthy.   I know it's hard, but don't stress about it.  Have a glass of wine and enjoy the weekend.  :-) 
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: what did i do wrong?

    Stef, by the way, you aren't alone in your disillusion about all this.  I know many adults who didn't know that much about it other than the bd'ing part - they knew that's how babies are made, but not that bd'ing is just the first step of many afterwards.  Conceiving is like a maze with a lot of dead ends.  Lots of good starts, but not many tries get to the center prize.  That's why most people wait a year before they go see a specialist.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from stefani2. Show stefani2's posts

    Re: what did i do wrong?

    thanks everyone.  it's sinking in that my expectations were WAY too high.  and it's also sunk in that i need help (i.e. drugs) to get this to work because there's no way i can ovulate every 3-4 months (or worse!) and THEN get lucky enough (good eggs/sperm/moon in retrograde/whatever) to get PG.  i mainly just feel like a fool for thinking it was going to be easy.  oh well, c'est la vie.  ;)
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from GC1016. Show GC1016's posts

    Re: what did i do wrong?

    Don't feel foolish!  Most of us have spent a good chunk of our 20's trying to be responsible and NOT get PG when we're not ready, and so I think we have a skewed idea of what it actually takes to get pregnant, if that makes sense.  Blame high school health class, but I still cannot shake the idea that if I climb into the backseat of a crappy car with DH, I will instantly get pregnant. 

    Actually, maybe I should try that. 

    We're new to the TTC thing so I really feel you.  I have to remind myself that it's very likely that AF and I still have some quality time together over the next however many months, and that's totally normal, especially as I'm kissing 35.  Sigh. 
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from diva886. Show diva886's posts

    Re: what did i do wrong?

    In Response to Re: what did i do wrong?:
    [QUOTE]Stef - Maybe you should consider getting the book Taking Control of your Fertility.  Many women on this board find it to be a great resource in TTC.   I can't say from personal experience becuase I didn't read it.  I agree with Kar you should try not to be disappointed because it could take several months. 
    Posted by onecoolchick[/QUOTE]

    I agree; that's an awesome book! It really helped my friend when she was trying to conceive.

    To the OP: have you also been using a fertility monitor? Some of the deluxe models can be more accurate.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from stefani2. Show stefani2's posts

    Re: what did i do wrong?

    thanks gc... hoping for good luck for you!!!
     

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