A Nice Story

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from RichHillOntario. Show RichHillOntario's posts

    A Nice Story

    In this we have an incident that supports the notion of hockey players, for the most part, being the most decent of individuals among the four major North American pro sports.

    http://www.torontosun.com/2013/08/08/colorado-avalanche-centre-matt-duchenes-random-act-of-kindness-gives-ontario-girl-big-boost

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from red75. Show red75's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    K, been a long crap day at work - that was a great story to end my shift on. Put a smile on my face and warmed the heart.

     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from kelvana33. Show kelvana33's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    Nice, but I've never understood the whole bullying thing. From my experience with these little all-stars theres 2 types of bullies.

    1. The bully comes from a broken home. No father, or dad is a drunk, or has a general hard time at home and takes out his/her anger on what they perceive a weaker child at school.

    2. The kid is just an a  hole. Some are.

    I have three daughters and one son. if they are ever bullied, it wont last long becuase of my Kelvana Bullyproof plan.

    1. Tell your teacher, coach, or whatever adult is in charge to please address this issue and also tell the bully to knock it off or he/she will be sorry.

    If that doesnt end it, and we give 24 hours for them to see the error in their ways. We now go to step 2.

    2. Find the bully in an unsespecting moment, i.e walking to class, sitting at lunch table..Come up from behind them and clock them right in the face. This sends a clear message that you will not be bullied. When at the principles office, inform him/her that you spoke to teacher or coach so and so and they failed to remedy the situation. if they had, this could have been avoided.  Put the onus on them. By this time, i should be pulling up to the school with questions I need answered. i guarantee my kid doesnt miss and ounce of class. Trust me, last thing any school wants is a bully situation where there is a kid hurt and faculty member dropped the ball.

    3. Probably not going to get to this. But, if theres one thing I've learned in my 15 years on the job it's this. Never underestimate the stupidity of people. Bully might be mad about being coldcocked and looking for some retribution. So we step it up a notch. Now, I consider myself a nice guy who would do anything for anyone. But dont ever mess with my kids. I dont care if your 12 or 72. If we are now at step 3 of the Kelvana Bullyproof plan, we are here because this the path the bully chose. Bully will be told where we are in this situation and why we are here but he/she will be gasping for air in some form. See to me, when one has to choose between continuing to bully or continue to breathe, they always choose breathing. It's weird. And in the Kelvana Bullyproof plan, they have the option. It's 100% up to them.

    So, there you have it. For those of you that have kids, I hope you find this useful. Just make sure your kid is not the bully. cause if he is, and he's gasping for air, you dropped the ball.

     

     




     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from shuperman. Show shuperman's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    In response to kelvana33's comment:

    Nice, but I've never understood the whole bullying thing. From my experience with these little all-stars theres 2 types of bullies.

    1. The bully comes from a broken home. No father, or dad is a drunk, or has a general hard time at home and takes out his/her anger on what they perceive a weaker child at school.

    2. The kid is just an a  hole. Some are.

    I have three daughters and one son. if they are ever bullied, it wont last long becuase of my Kelvana Bullyproof plan.

    1. Tell your teacher, coach, or whatever adult is in charge to please address this issue and also tell the bully to knock it off or he/she will be sorry.

    If that doesnt end it, and we give 24 hours for them to see the error in their ways. We now go to step 2.

    2. Find the bully in an unsespecting moment, i.e walking to class, sitting at lunch table..Come up from behind them and clock them right in the face. This sends a clear message that you will not be bullied. When at the principles office, inform him/her that you spoke to teacher or coach so and so and they failed to remedy the situation. if they had, this could have been avoided.  Put the onus on them. By this time, i should be pulling up to the school with questions I need answered. i guarantee my kid doesnt miss and ounce of class. Trust me, last thing any school wants is a bully situation where there is a kid hurt and faculty member dropped the ball.

    3. Probably not going to get to this. But, if theres one thing I've learned in my 15 years on the job it's this. Never underestimate the stupidity of people. Bully might be mad about being coldcocked and looking for some retribution. So we step it up a notch. Now, I consider myself a nice guy who would do anything for anyone. But dont ever mess with my kids. I dont care if your 12 or 72. If we are now at step 3 of the Kelvana Bullyproof plan, we are here because this the path the bully chose. Bully will be told where we are in this situation and why we are here but he/she will be gasping for air in some form. See to me, when one has to choose between continuing to bully or continue to breathe, they always choose breathing. It's weird. And in the Kelvana Bullyproof plan, they have the option. It's 100% up to them.

    So, there you have it. For those of you that have kids, I hope you find this useful. Just make sure your kid is not the bully. cause if he is, and he's gasping for air, you dropped the ball.

     

     






    Your plan sounds like what my dad taught me and what i will be teaching my little guy.  Bully types know one thing.   When i was little i was getting bullied on the school bus.  I told dad who told the teachers.  It didnt stop.  My brother paid him a visit and it stopped for a bit.  Dad told me the next time he comes near you clobber him.  Well he sat next to me on the school bus and metal lunch box met nose that day.  Blood everywhere.   No more bully.  

    I see it all the time with my job as well as being in schools.  No bully will dominate my little boy ever.   Im a nice guy all the time.  But im a better friend then enemy.  i will mess u up if u go near my family.  Especially my boy.  

     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from RichHillOntario. Show RichHillOntario's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    In response to red75's comment:

    K, been a long crap day at work - that was a great story to end my shift on. Put a smile on my face and warmed the heart.



    Felt the same way when I read it, red.

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from shuperman. Show shuperman's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    In response to RichHillOntario's comment:

    In response to red75's comment:

     

    K, been a long crap day at work - that was a great story to end my shift on. Put a smile on my face and warmed the heart.

     



    Felt the same way when I read it, red.

     



    Matts spent a lot of time in halifax this summer training and skating with mackinnon.   Its good to know he has him as someone to model himself after.   

     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from red75. Show red75's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    In response to kelvana33's comment:

     

    Nice, but I've never understood the whole bullying thing. From my experience with these little all-stars theres 2 types of bullies.

    1. The bully comes from a broken home. No father, or dad is a drunk, or has a general hard time at home and takes out his/her anger on what they perceive a weaker child at school.

    2. The kid is just an a  hole. Some are.

    I have three daughters and one son. if they are ever bullied, it wont last long becuase of my Kelvana Bullyproof plan.

    1. Tell your teacher, coach, or whatever adult is in charge to please address this issue and also tell the bully to knock it off or he/she will be sorry.

    If that doesnt end it, and we give 24 hours for them to see the error in their ways. We now go to step 2.

    2. Find the bully in an unsespecting moment, i.e walking to class, sitting at lunch table..Come up from behind them and clock them right in the face. This sends a clear message that you will not be bullied. When at the principles office, inform him/her that you spoke to teacher or coach so and so and they failed to remedy the situation. if they had, this could have been avoided.  Put the onus on them. By this time, i should be pulling up to the school with questions I need answered. i guarantee my kid doesnt miss and ounce of class. Trust me, last thing any school wants is a bully situation where there is a kid hurt and faculty member dropped the ball.

    3. Probably not going to get to this. But, if theres one thing I've learned in my 15 years on the job it's this. Never underestimate the stupidity of people. Bully might be mad about being coldcocked and looking for some retribution. So we step it up a notch. Now, I consider myself a nice guy who would do anything for anyone. But dont ever mess with my kids. I dont care if your 12 or 72. If we are now at step 3 of the Kelvana Bullyproof plan, we are here because this the path the bully chose. Bully will be told where we are in this situation and why we are here but he/she will be gasping for air in some form. See to me, when one has to choose between continuing to bully or continue to breathe, they always choose breathing. It's weird. And in the Kelvana Bullyproof plan, they have the option. It's 100% up to them.

    So, there you have it. For those of you that have kids, I hope you find this useful. Just make sure your kid is not the bully. cause if he is, and he's gasping for air, you dropped the ball.




    Kel, as I am older now with the benefit of hindsight I understand and agree with everything you just said. It's what I tell myself I'll do with my own kid some day. It's exactly the response I'd hope to have. But that's my response as an adult who has been around the block a lot.

     

    As a closeted, but pretty obvious, LGBT teen? Not one of your suggestions was an option for me - I couldn't go to my teachers or coaches or parents (this in retrospect is wrong, but this is the mindset of a teen) because they would have asked me why I was being bullied and I would have either have had to lie or out myself. And I tried number 2 of your suggestions - and I was bootf***ed by five girls. I was so frightened of my parents learning I was gay (again, unbelieveably idiotic in retrospect) I invented a story about a bike accident, going to the point of taking a hammer to my bike. I smashed the rims to crap, just to avoid telling my parents the truth.

    Kel, To be extraordinarily blunt -  when I was 15 I considered that the best of the three options between telling my family/ teachers, or continue being bullied, or killing myself, I was seriously leaning towards suicide. Far far closer than I care to admit.

    I thought and fought through it, thanks to my cat (I mean it - I was worried what would happen to her if I was gone) and Punk Rock (it was my escape) I survived, but luck/fate/God/whatever had a hand in that.

    Your ideas are great in theory, and likely great in practice for parents who know what's going on, but for kids who are that fearful - and it goes far beyond just LBGT kids - look at Rehtaeh Parsons for a different example - sometimes your strategy, though it's the one I myself may try to use, just won't work.

    Sorry folks if that made anyone uncomfortable - that was pretty much heart on sleeve, but I feel comfortable saying that here (despite the trolls). At least partial anonymity can be a good thing sometimes, but I also respect the vast majority of the people I chat with here daily, so some blunt honesty, especially given a post like kel's that may need a rebut, seems fine to me.

     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from RichHillOntario. Show RichHillOntario's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    In response to kelvana33's comment:

     

    Nice, but I've never understood the whole bullying thing. From my experience with these little all-stars theres 2 types of bullies.

    1. The bully comes from a broken home. No father, or dad is a drunk, or has a general hard time at home and takes out his/her anger on what they perceive a weaker child at school.

    2. The kid is just an a  hole. Some are.

    I have three daughters and one son. if they are ever bullied, it wont last long becuase of my Kelvana Bullyproof plan.

    1. Tell your teacher, coach, or whatever adult is in charge to please address this issue and also tell the bully to knock it off or he/she will be sorry.

    If that doesnt end it, and we give 24 hours for them to see the error in their ways. We now go to step 2.

    2. Find the bully in an unsespecting moment, i.e walking to class, sitting at lunch table..Come up from behind them and clock them right in the face. This sends a clear message that you will not be bullied. When at the principles office, inform him/her that you spoke to teacher or coach so and so and they failed to remedy the situation. if they had, this could have been avoided.  Put the onus on them. By this time, i should be pulling up to the school with questions I need answered. i guarantee my kid doesnt miss and ounce of class. Trust me, last thing any school wants is a bully situation where there is a kid hurt and faculty member dropped the ball.

    3. Probably not going to get to this. But, if theres one thing I've learned in my 15 years on the job it's this. Never underestimate the stupidity of people. Bully might be mad about being coldcocked and looking for some retribution. So we step it up a notch. Now, I consider myself a nice guy who would do anything for anyone. But dont ever mess with my kids. I dont care if your 12 or 72. If we are now at step 3 of the Kelvana Bullyproof plan, we are here because this the path the bully chose. Bully will be told where we are in this situation and why we are here but he/she will be gasping for air in some form. See to me, when one has to choose between continuing to bully or continue to breathe, they always choose breathing. It's weird. And in the Kelvana Bullyproof plan, they have the option. It's 100% up to them.

    So, there you have it. For those of you that have kids, I hope you find this useful. Just make sure your kid is not the bully. cause if he is, and he's gasping for air, you dropped the ball.

     

     




     



    kel, I'm a teacher.  Grade 3 this year.  I deliberately avoided commenting on the bully aspect in the article, despite its importance because it makes me want go volcanic inside plus I was trying to not deviate from the truly golden core of the article. 

     

    It's a really contentious thing with me because in my opinion the problem could be solved if school boards had the bloody stones to bring down the hammer in the form of expulsion - especially if a student is a three-time offender. 

    School:Son, that's your third strike.  You know the rule.  You're gone. 

    Student/Student's Parents: But we just live around the corner.  Where can we find a school that will allow us to enroll outside of the district?  Bussing will have to be arranged. 

    School: That is no longer our concern.  Perhaps you should have thought of this after your first warning.  Good day. 

    Some years ago the city of Scarborough propped up a zero tolerance policy towards school violence and bullying. That idea withered up like someone's cods.  School boards around here don't seem to want to hold kids accountable despite what we often see happening with alarming regularity; suicides.  If that's not a reason for reform, what is?

    Trust me.  Sending a kid to the office nowadays is not the same as when we were sent to the office.  When I was a kid getting sent to the office meant you crapped your pants because of the mystique and spectre of being punished.  But that was only the first part of Mission Crap-Your- Drawers. 

    The second more severe part was the dreaded call home that always followed.  Now students get sent to the office and receive a bit of a lecture, if the act is severe enough they receive a one or two day suspension after they've read Where's Waldo from cover to cover.  I never send students to the office.  I can levy harsh punishments in my classroom on my own. 

    This is why I could never be a school administrator.  First of all, they'd hate a guy like me who doesn't fall into their line of thinking.  Get this: a couple of years ago at a meet the teacher night this dim-bulb of a principal, now thankfully no longer at our school proudly announced to parents that suspensions were the previous year down under his watch.  You know why?  This stooge recognized the board's mandate to go easy on suspensions.  (Something called progressive discipline.  A stupid graduated process that eventually, if needed leads up to maybe a suspension.) 

    Of course he didn't reveal this knowledge to the families.  This irritated me so I raised my hand and in front of our audiences said "I'm sure our parents would like to know how you, as principal, are going to keep our children safe in school."  The cut-eye from this moron could have sliced baloney but you know what? All he could do was spew board double-speak sounding as if he were reciting words from a brochure.  He squirmed and I loved watching him. 

    The result was kids quickly getting the message they could scrap without fear of consequence, lip off to staff without fear of consequence, unchecked bullying without fear of consequences. 

    If our students were as important as school boards like to uphold them to be and ensure their safety within their own school they would address bullying with severe consequences like expulsion to make any other students so inclined to think twice before considering doing this gutless act. 

    BTW, in my opinion the best way to get results is to do what you suggest in your plan; press the principal for exact, precise concrete answers.  Demand them.  Go above their heads to the superintendent.  They hate that. 

     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from Stuke50. Show Stuke50's posts

    Re: A Nice Story


    Thanks for the great read....Maybe one day Matt can be a Bruin. He surely has the spirit of a Bruin !...Also, this sounds like a story with a happy ending all the way around....Perfect read.

     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from shuperman. Show shuperman's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    In response to red75's comment:

     

    In response to kelvana33's comment:

     

    Nice, but I've never understood the whole bullying thing. From my experience with these little all-stars theres 2 types of bullies.

    1. The bully comes from a broken home. No father, or dad is a drunk, or has a general hard time at home and takes out his/her anger on what they perceive a weaker child at school.

    2. The kid is just an a  hole. Some are.

    I have three daughters and one son. if they are ever bullied, it wont last long becuase of my Kelvana Bullyproof plan.

    1. Tell your teacher, coach, or whatever adult is in charge to please address this issue and also tell the bully to knock it off or he/she will be sorry.

    If that doesnt end it, and we give 24 hours for them to see the error in their ways. We now go to step 2.

    2. Find the bully in an unsespecting moment, i.e walking to class, sitting at lunch table..Come up from behind them and clock them right in the face. This sends a clear message that you will not be bullied. When at the principles office, inform him/her that you spoke to teacher or coach so and so and they failed to remedy the situation. if they had, this could have been avoided.  Put the onus on them. By this time, i should be pulling up to the school with questions I need answered. i guarantee my kid doesnt miss and ounce of class. Trust me, last thing any school wants is a bully situation where there is a kid hurt and faculty member dropped the ball.

    3. Probably not going to get to this. But, if theres one thing I've learned in my 15 years on the job it's this. Never underestimate the stupidity of people. Bully might be mad about being coldcocked and looking for some retribution. So we step it up a notch. Now, I consider myself a nice guy who would do anything for anyone. But dont ever mess with my kids. I dont care if your 12 or 72. If we are now at step 3 of the Kelvana Bullyproof plan, we are here because this the path the bully chose. Bully will be told where we are in this situation and why we are here but he/she will be gasping for air in some form. See to me, when one has to choose between continuing to bully or continue to breathe, they always choose breathing. It's weird. And in the Kelvana Bullyproof plan, they have the option. It's 100% up to them.

    So, there you have it. For those of you that have kids, I hope you find this useful. Just make sure your kid is not the bully. cause if he is, and he's gasping for air, you dropped the ball.




    Kel, as I am older now with the benefit of hindsight I understand and agree with everything you just said. It's what I tell myself I'll do with my own kid some day. It's exactly the response I'd hope to have. But that's my response as an adult who has been around the block a lot.

     

    As a closeted, but pretty obvious, LGBT teen? Not one of your suggestions was an option for me - I couldn't go to my teachers or coaches or parents (this in retrospect is wrong, but this is the mindset of a teen) because they would have asked me why I was being bullied and I would have either have had to lie or out myself. And I tried number 2 of your suggestions - and I was bootf***ed by five girls. I was so frightened of my parents learning I was gay (again, unbelieveably idiotic in retrospect) I invented a story about a bike accident, going to the point of taking a hammer to my bike. I smashed the rims to crap, just to avoid telling my parents the truth.

    Kel, To be extraordinarily blunt -  when I was 15 I considered that the best of the three options between telling my family/ teachers, or continue being bullied, or killing myself, I was seriously leaning towards suicide. Far far closer than I care to admit.

    I thought and fought through it, thanks to my cat (I mean it - I was worried what would happen to her if I was gone) and Punk Rock (it was my escape) I survived, but luck/fate/God/whatever had a hand in that.

    Your ideas are great in theory, and likely great in practice for parents who know what's going on, but for kids who are that fearful - and it goes far beyond just LBGT kids - look at Rehtaeh Parsons for a different example - sometimes your strategy, though it's the one I myself may try to use, just won't work.

    Sorry folks if that made anyone uncomfortable - that was pretty much heart on sleeve, but I feel comfortable saying that here (despite the trolls). At least partial anonymity can be a good thing sometimes, but I also respect the vast majority of the people I chat with here daily, so some blunt honesty, especially given a post like kel's that may need a rebut, seems fine to me.

     



    The Parsons case has so many twists but two were charged today.   She was a beautiful girl with a lot of issues.    Sad.  

     

    I am also sorry for your bad yrs and am one of many that are happy ypu are still here.   

    social media is the worst invention ever.   Back in the day you actually had to talk to people.  Social media in bullying cases is soething most crown attorneys wont touch.   

    I see it a lot in schools, the schools have their hads tied in most cases.  Rich post above is so accurate.   If i ever went to the principles office i was scared to death.   Now most think its a fun break and bond with the vp's.   the vp's in my experience are the fall guy/girl and usually run the school.  they bond with the bad ones to keep them in check.   With the amount of guns and violence combined with social media and bullying you can bet your bottom dollar another massive school shooting will happen.   The rcmp train for these events annually as part of manditory training.  IARD training.  Immediate action rapid deployment for an active threat.  ie school shootings.  

    The world isnt getting better.   If i could spend every day with my yellow lab Bruin, my 5 year old and wife and avoid the rest id be a happy man.   I wish people were more like dogs.  

     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from RichHillOntario. Show RichHillOntario's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    In response to red75's comment:

    In response to kelvana33's comment:

     

    Nice, but I've never understood the whole bullying thing. From my experience with these little all-stars theres 2 types of bullies.

    1. The bully comes from a broken home. No father, or dad is a drunk, or has a general hard time at home and takes out his/her anger on what they perceive a weaker child at school.

    2. The kid is just an a  hole. Some are.

    I have three daughters and one son. if they are ever bullied, it wont last long becuase of my Kelvana Bullyproof plan.

    1. Tell your teacher, coach, or whatever adult is in charge to please address this issue and also tell the bully to knock it off or he/she will be sorry.

    If that doesnt end it, and we give 24 hours for them to see the error in their ways. We now go to step 2.

    2. Find the bully in an unsespecting moment, i.e walking to class, sitting at lunch table..Come up from behind them and clock them right in the face. This sends a clear message that you will not be bullied. When at the principles office, inform him/her that you spoke to teacher or coach so and so and they failed to remedy the situation. if they had, this could have been avoided.  Put the onus on them. By this time, i should be pulling up to the school with questions I need answered. i guarantee my kid doesnt miss and ounce of class. Trust me, last thing any school wants is a bully situation where there is a kid hurt and faculty member dropped the ball.

    3. Probably not going to get to this. But, if theres one thing I've learned in my 15 years on the job it's this. Never underestimate the stupidity of people. Bully might be mad about being coldcocked and looking for some retribution. So we step it up a notch. Now, I consider myself a nice guy who would do anything for anyone. But dont ever mess with my kids. I dont care if your 12 or 72. If we are now at step 3 of the Kelvana Bullyproof plan, we are here because this the path the bully chose. Bully will be told where we are in this situation and why we are here but he/she will be gasping for air in some form. See to me, when one has to choose between continuing to bully or continue to breathe, they always choose breathing. It's weird. And in the Kelvana Bullyproof plan, they have the option. It's 100% up to them.

    So, there you have it. For those of you that have kids, I hope you find this useful. Just make sure your kid is not the bully. cause if he is, and he's gasping for air, you dropped the ball.




    Kel, as I am older now with the benefit of hindsight I understand and agree with everything you just said. It's what I tell myself I'll do with my own kid some day. It's exactly the response I'd hope to have. But that's my response as an adult who has been around the block a lot.

     

    As a closeted, but pretty obvious, LGBT teen? Not one of your suggestions was an option for me - I couldn't go to my teachers or coaches or parents (this in retrospect is wrong, but this is the mindset of a teen) because they would have asked me why I was being bullied and I would have either have had to lie or out myself. And I tried number 2 of your suggestions - and I was bootf***ed by five girls. I was so frightened of my parents learning I was gay (again, unbelieveably idiotic in retrospect) I invented a story about a bike accident, going to the point of taking a hammer to my bike. I smashed the rims to crap, just to avoid telling my parents the truth.

    Kel, To be extraordinarily blunt -  when I was 15 I considered that the best of the three options between telling my family/ teachers, or continue being bullied, or killing myself, I was seriously leaning towards suicide. Far far closer than I care to admit.

    I thought and fought through it, thanks to my cat (I mean it - I was worried what would happen to her if I was gone) and Punk Rock (it was my escape) I survived, but luck/fate/God/whatever had a hand in that.

    Your ideas are great in theory, and likely great in practice for parents who know what's going on, but for kids who are that fearful - and it goes far beyond just LBGT kids - look at Rehtaeh Parsons for a different example - sometimes your strategy, though it's the one I myself may try to use, just won't work.

    Sorry folks if that made anyone uncomfortable - that was pretty much heart on sleeve, but I feel comfortable saying that here (despite the trolls). At least partial anonymity can be a good thing sometimes, but I also respect the vast majority of the people I chat with here daily, so some blunt honesty, especially given a post like kel's that may need a rebut, seems fine to me.



    I wish school boards could read your words, red.  I can't imagine walking in your shoes as a youth.  As I see it if they had any sense of sincere introspection they would clearly see all their buzzwords of ethnocultural education, unversal values and my all-time fave, the dazzling equity are akin to the froth on top of a beer. 

    School boards can't trumpet these entities yet have unfortunate situations like yours to the point you considered taking your own life just to put an end to the torment.  Thankfully you didn't choose the third path.  Unlike Amanda Todd and Rehtaeh Parson to name just two. 

     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from huntbri. Show huntbri's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    Awesome story - there is no doubt that as a whole hockey players are the best ambassadors in the sports world.

     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from Don-Bruino. Show Don-Bruino's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    I haven't had a chance to read the article, yet. I will tomorrow.

    But, I do like Kelv's bully plan - it gives me goosebumps. I've had some bully plans over the years, too.

    It has been my experience that young bullies usually end up in one of three places by the time they reach thirty: prison, welfare or in a grave.

     

     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from huntbri. Show huntbri's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    In response to RichHillOntario's comment:

    In response to red75's comment:

     

    In response to kelvana33's comment:

     

    Nice, but I've never understood the whole bullying thing. From my experience with these little all-stars theres 2 types of bullies.

    1. The bully comes from a broken home. No father, or dad is a drunk, or has a general hard time at home and takes out his/her anger on what they perceive a weaker child at school.

    2. The kid is just an a  hole. Some are.

    I have three daughters and one son. if they are ever bullied, it wont last long becuase of my Kelvana Bullyproof plan.

    1. Tell your teacher, coach, or whatever adult is in charge to please address this issue and also tell the bully to knock it off or he/she will be sorry.

    If that doesnt end it, and we give 24 hours for them to see the error in their ways. We now go to step 2.

    2. Find the bully in an unsespecting moment, i.e walking to class, sitting at lunch table..Come up from behind them and clock them right in the face. This sends a clear message that you will not be bullied. When at the principles office, inform him/her that you spoke to teacher or coach so and so and they failed to remedy the situation. if they had, this could have been avoided.  Put the onus on them. By this time, i should be pulling up to the school with questions I need answered. i guarantee my kid doesnt miss and ounce of class. Trust me, last thing any school wants is a bully situation where there is a kid hurt and faculty member dropped the ball.

    3. Probably not going to get to this. But, if theres one thing I've learned in my 15 years on the job it's this. Never underestimate the stupidity of people. Bully might be mad about being coldcocked and looking for some retribution. So we step it up a notch. Now, I consider myself a nice guy who would do anything for anyone. But dont ever mess with my kids. I dont care if your 12 or 72. If we are now at step 3 of the Kelvana Bullyproof plan, we are here because this the path the bully chose. Bully will be told where we are in this situation and why we are here but he/she will be gasping for air in some form. See to me, when one has to choose between continuing to bully or continue to breathe, they always choose breathing. It's weird. And in the Kelvana Bullyproof plan, they have the option. It's 100% up to them.

    So, there you have it. For those of you that have kids, I hope you find this useful. Just make sure your kid is not the bully. cause if he is, and he's gasping for air, you dropped the ball.




    Kel, as I am older now with the benefit of hindsight I understand and agree with everything you just said. It's what I tell myself I'll do with my own kid some day. It's exactly the response I'd hope to have. But that's my response as an adult who has been around the block a lot.

     

    As a closeted, but pretty obvious, LGBT teen? Not one of your suggestions was an option for me - I couldn't go to my teachers or coaches or parents (this in retrospect is wrong, but this is the mindset of a teen) because they would have asked me why I was being bullied and I would have either have had to lie or out myself. And I tried number 2 of your suggestions - and I was bootf***ed by five girls. I was so frightened of my parents learning I was gay (again, unbelieveably idiotic in retrospect) I invented a story about a bike accident, going to the point of taking a hammer to my bike. I smashed the rims to crap, just to avoid telling my parents the truth.

    Kel, To be extraordinarily blunt -  when I was 15 I considered that the best of the three options between telling my family/ teachers, or continue being bullied, or killing myself, I was seriously leaning towards suicide. Far far closer than I care to admit.

    I thought and fought through it, thanks to my cat (I mean it - I was worried what would happen to her if I was gone) and Punk Rock (it was my escape) I survived, but luck/fate/God/whatever had a hand in that.

    Your ideas are great in theory, and likely great in practice for parents who know what's going on, but for kids who are that fearful - and it goes far beyond just LBGT kids - look at Rehtaeh Parsons for a different example - sometimes your strategy, though it's the one I myself may try to use, just won't work.

    Sorry folks if that made anyone uncomfortable - that was pretty much heart on sleeve, but I feel comfortable saying that here (despite the trolls). At least partial anonymity can be a good thing sometimes, but I also respect the vast majority of the people I chat with here daily, so some blunt honesty, especially given a post like kel's that may need a rebut, seems fine to me.

     



    I wish school boards could read your words, red.  I can't imagine walking in your shoes as a youth.  As I see it if they had any sense of sincere introspection they would clearly see all their buzzwords of ethnocultural education, unversal values and my all-time fave, the dazzling equity are akin to the froth on top of a beer. 

     

    School boards can't trumpet these entities yet have unfortunate situations like yours to the point you considered taking your own life just to put an end to the torment.  Thankfully you didn't choose the third path.  Unlike Amanda Todd and Rehtaeh Parson to name just two. 



    I agree with Kel's method of handling bullies.

    It makes me so angry that you had to deal with bullying when you were in school Red and despite no tolerance policies little has changed.  Social media has made it even worse and of course although this carries over to school, the schools just wash their hands of this stuff because it didn't happen on school property. Most administrators are weak chicken sh&& individuals that are more worried about the politics of the role rather than doing the right thing.  We had a suicide in our home town just a couple months ago due to bullying. Schools and police need to do more to deter individuals (even if they are underage) from bullying. There needs to be more serious repercussions for bullying at school and backed by the law.

     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from RichHillOntario. Show RichHillOntario's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    In response to shuperman's comment:

     



    The Parsons case has so many twists but two were charged today.   She was a beautiful girl with a lot of issues.    Sad.  

     

    I am also sorry for your bad yrs and am one of many that are happy ypu are still here.   

    social media is the worst invention ever.   Back in the day you actually had to talk to people.  Social media in bullying cases is soething most crown attorneys wont touch.   

    I see it a lot in schools, the schools have their hads tied in most cases.  Rich post above is so accurate.   If i ever went to the principles office i was scared to death.   Now most think its a fun break and bond with the vp's.   the vp's in my experience are the fall guy/girl and usually run the school.  they bond with the bad ones to keep them in check.   With the amount of guns and violence combined with social media and bullying you can bet your bottom dollar another massive school shooting will happen.   The rcmp train for these events annually as part of manditory training.  IARD training.  Immediate action rapid deployment for an active threat.  ie school shootings.  

    The world isnt getting better.   If i could spend every day with my yellow lab Bruin, my 5 year old and wife and avoid the rest id be a happy man.   I wish people were more like dogs.  

     



    shupe, this is such a bulls eye.  My school is absolutely blessed to have a walking, talking human dynamo of a female VP. Without question, she is the enforcer of our administrative team.  We have a solid principal also but it is she, in concert with him, generally brings down the hammer.  Which she does without much hesitation. 

     

    Sometimes I pass her office and she has so many students seated in there it looks like a Grayhound bus depot.  They listen to her, too.  Problem is it seems to delay her attending to her other responsibilities. 

    Thing is in the faculty of education I was taught to only use the office as a last resort.  I never send kids there because:

    1.  I don't want to look like I can't handle my own business.  Like I'm weak.

    2. Whatever impact the office has is reduced when some teachers are quick to give the student the hook to the office. 

    3. Today's student is clever and not above wanting to get out of doing schoolwork by purposely doing something in the hopes of cooling their jets in the office.  Not me.  The student's behind is staying in my classroom.  My thinking is I try to make lessons and my style interesting enough to engage my students so I don't have many behaviour issues.  They know my rep of being fair but firm.  That helps.

     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from shuperman. Show shuperman's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    In response to huntbri's comment:

    In response to RichHillOntario's comment:

     

    In response to red75's comment:

     

     

     

    In response to kelvana33's comment:

     

    Nice, but I've never understood the whole bullying thing. From my experience with these little all-stars theres 2 types of bullies.

    1. The bully comes from a broken home. No father, or dad is a drunk, or has a general hard time at home and takes out his/her anger on what they perceive a weaker child at school.

    2. The kid is just an a  hole. Some are.

    I have three daughters and one son. if they are ever bullied, it wont last long becuase of my Kelvana Bullyproof plan.

    1. Tell your teacher, coach, or whatever adult is in charge to please address this issue and also tell the bully to knock it off or he/she will be sorry.

    If that doesnt end it, and we give 24 hours for them to see the error in their ways. We now go to step 2.

    2. Find the bully in an unsespecting moment, i.e walking to class, sitting at lunch table..Come up from behind them and clock them right in the face. This sends a clear message that you will not be bullied. When at the principles office, inform him/her that you spoke to teacher or coach so and so and they failed to remedy the situation. if they had, this could have been avoided.  Put the onus on them. By this time, i should be pulling up to the school with questions I need answered. i guarantee my kid doesnt miss and ounce of class. Trust me, last thing any school wants is a bully situation where there is a kid hurt and faculty member dropped the ball.

    3. Probably not going to get to this. But, if theres one thing I've learned in my 15 years on the job it's this. Never underestimate the stupidity of people. Bully might be mad about being coldcocked and looking for some retribution. So we step it up a notch. Now, I consider myself a nice guy who would do anything for anyone. But dont ever mess with my kids. I dont care if your 12 or 72. If we are now at step 3 of the Kelvana Bullyproof plan, we are here because this the path the bully chose. Bully will be told where we are in this situation and why we are here but he/she will be gasping for air in some form. See to me, when one has to choose between continuing to bully or continue to breathe, they always choose breathing. It's weird. And in the Kelvana Bullyproof plan, they have the option. It's 100% up to them.

    So, there you have it. For those of you that have kids, I hope you find this useful. Just make sure your kid is not the bully. cause if he is, and he's gasping for air, you dropped the ball.




    Kel, as I am older now with the benefit of hindsight I understand and agree with everything you just said. It's what I tell myself I'll do with my own kid some day. It's exactly the response I'd hope to have. But that's my response as an adult who has been around the block a lot.

     

    As a closeted, but pretty obvious, LGBT teen? Not one of your suggestions was an option for me - I couldn't go to my teachers or coaches or parents (this in retrospect is wrong, but this is the mindset of a teen) because they would have asked me why I was being bullied and I would have either have had to lie or out myself. And I tried number 2 of your suggestions - and I was bootf***ed by five girls. I was so frightened of my parents learning I was gay (again, unbelieveably idiotic in retrospect) I invented a story about a bike accident, going to the point of taking a hammer to my bike. I smashed the rims to crap, just to avoid telling my parents the truth.

    Kel, To be extraordinarily blunt -  when I was 15 I considered that the best of the three options between telling my family/ teachers, or continue being bullied, or killing myself, I was seriously leaning towards suicide. Far far closer than I care to admit.

    I thought and fought through it, thanks to my cat (I mean it - I was worried what would happen to her if I was gone) and Punk Rock (it was my escape) I survived, but luck/fate/God/whatever had a hand in that.

    Your ideas are great in theory, and likely great in practice for parents who know what's going on, but for kids who are that fearful - and it goes far beyond just LBGT kids - look at Rehtaeh Parsons for a different example - sometimes your strategy, though it's the one I myself may try to use, just won't work.

    Sorry folks if that made anyone uncomfortable - that was pretty much heart on sleeve, but I feel comfortable saying that here (despite the trolls). At least partial anonymity can be a good thing sometimes, but I also respect the vast majority of the people I chat with here daily, so some blunt honesty, especially given a post like kel's that may need a rebut, seems fine to me.

     

     



    I wish school boards could read your words, red.  I can't imagine walking in your shoes as a youth.  As I see it if they had any sense of sincere introspection they would clearly see all their buzzwords of ethnocultural education, unversal values and my all-time fave, the dazzling equity are akin to the froth on top of a beer. 

     

     

    School boards can't trumpet these entities yet have unfortunate situations like yours to the point you considered taking your own life just to put an end to the torment.  Thankfully you didn't choose the third path.  Unlike Amanda Todd and Rehtaeh Parson to name just two. 

     



    I agree with Kel's method of handling bullies.

     

    It makes me so angry that you had to deal with bullying when you were in school Red and despite no tolerance policies little has changed.  Social media has made it even worse and of course although this carries over to school, the schools just wash their hands of this stuff because it didn't happen on school property. Most administrators are weak chicken sh&& individuals that are more worried about the politics of the role rather than doing the right thing.  We had a suicide in our home town just a couple months ago due to bullying. Schools and police need to do more to deter individuals (even if they are underage) from bullying. There needs to be more serious repercussions for bullying at school and backed by the law.



    Problem to this is that most happen away from school or by text or bbm.   Teachers and police can only do what policy and laws enable them to do.   I live in NS and new cyber-law was just passed today.  Check it out.   Hopefully this does help.   The problem with criminal charges in these cases are proving someone was actually using their device via IP address.  And you wanna know what is the hardest part.  Getting the victim to proceed.   No 15 year old wants to give a statement.  No victim no crime in most cases.   the victims in these matters have already been abused so badly, now they go to the police and are rats.  Most 15 yr olds dont think this is a solution.   Ive had more negative statements not eanting police to pursue charges rhen ive had cooperative victims.   Parents lose their mind on the schools and police.  i dont blame the victims and i dont blame the parents of the victims.   Its a tangled web for sure.  

     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from red75. Show red75's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

     

    Ok, trying to get away from the long quotes first of all - this thread is turning into a novel length page ;)

     

    But also, I understand all of your ideas intellectually, but emotionally and logically, teens are fearful and they hide that fear, and sometimes that fear leads to friends and famnily going "She/he was such a wonderful child, why did she/he do this to her/himself"

    Rich, I applaud every effort you make to tackle this issue in your class and godspeed. and shupe, i know most cops do their best. But I honestly believe it is not something a cop or a parent or a teacher can stop. It has to be society as a whole being vocal against EVERY leading cause. It doesn't matter if you don't take it on in a broad overreaching societal way, the nerd, geek, d**e, f*, minority (take your pick) assault wictim, disabled, you get my drift - it's not about schools,teachers, parents,students, coaches etc. We need to take it on as a society as a whole. as long as kids are fearful about being who they are, we're going to have dead kids.

     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from huntbri. Show huntbri's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    Shupe I know it is not a simple clear cut problem.  I just think that even though texts happen off of school property I don't believe that the bullying does not continue at the place kids spend the majority of their time. It is probably more subtle but I think if staff is being observant they will see it and can at least try to address it. 

    Rich you seem to be a level headed good guy so I am sure you try to do the right thing as do many administrators. I still think it is like any occupation, some are good and make an effort and some not so much.

     

     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from shuperman. Show shuperman's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    In response to huntbri's comment:

    Shupe I know it is not a simple clear cut problem.  I just think that even though texts happen off of school property I don't believe that the bullying does not continue at the place kids spend the majority of their time. It is probably more subtle but I think if staff is being observant they will see it and can at least try to address it. 

    Rich you seem to be a level headed good guy so I am sure you try to do the right thing as do many administrators. I still think it is like any occupation, some are good and make an effort and some not so much.

     



    But thats just it huntbri,  how do you defend a text or a facebook msg.  Teachers dont see that.  Its almost like biological warefare, you know somethings wrong but cant see it.   A lot of it isnt in person.  Girls on facebook are absolutely unreal.   Guys back in the day it was a fight after school.  Best man wins.   But girls are ruthless and i would rather a punch in the honker over the abuse they throw at each other with words and pictures.  

    I think red hit it on the head.  Its a problem society has to deal with bc its out of control.  

     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from huntbri. Show huntbri's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    Agreed in principle that it is a big problem our society faces with no easy solution but I hope where possible leaders are brave.  It is unfortunate and I hate to stereotype but I agree that generally girls are worse and are meaner when it comes to psychological bullying.

     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from RichHillOntario. Show RichHillOntario's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    In response to red75's comment:

     

    Ok, trying to get away from the long quotes first of all - this thread is turning into a novel length page ;)

     

    But also, I understand all of your ideas intellectually, but emotionally and logically, teens are fearful and they hide that fear, and sometimes that fear leads to friends and famnily going "She/he was such a wonderful child, why did she/he do this to her/himself"

    Rich, I applaud every effort you make to tackle this issue in your class and godspeed. and shupe, i know most cops do their best. But I honestly believe it is not something a cop or a parent or a teacher can stop. It has to be society as a whole being vocal against EVERY leading cause. It doesn't matter if you don't take it on in a broad overreaching societal way, the nerd, geek, d**e, f*, minority (take your pick) assault wictim, disabled, you get my drift - it's not about schools,teachers, parents,students, coaches etc. We need to take it on as a society as a whole. as long as kids are fearful about being who they are, we're going to have dead kids.



    You're right, red.  It is a societal thing.  I'm just trying to affect my little piece of the pie every day. 

     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from RichHillOntario. Show RichHillOntario's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    In response to huntbri's comment:

     

    I agree with Kel's method of handling bullies.

     

    It makes me so angry that you had to deal with bullying when you were in school Red and despite no tolerance policies little has changed.  Social media has made it even worse and of course although this carries over to school, the schools just wash their hands of this stuff because it didn't happen on school property. Most administrators are weak chicken sh&& individuals that are more worried about the politics of the role rather than doing the right thing.  We had a suicide in our home town just a couple months ago due to bullying. Schools and police need to do more to deter individuals (even if they are underage) from bullying. There needs to be more serious repercussions for bullying at school and backed by the law.

     




     

    I'm sure they start well-intended, hunt.  Really wanting to affect change.  Thing is like so many other facets of life there's a ton of politics involved in folks even being in position to assume the principal and vice-principal's chair.  There are hoops to jump through. 

    Besides the superintendent, there's municipal trustees who also have to approve the assigning of specific individuals to certain areas and area schools, candidates have to have a certain profile level, parent councils also throw in their two cents. 

    Bottom line is if you're an honest, free-thinker, you'll be viewed as a maverick, boat-rocker making it highly unlikely you'll ever be in position to be a school's lead administrator.  You'll have more of a chance if you play the game.

     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from RichHillOntario. Show RichHillOntario's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    In response to huntbri's comment:

    Shupe I know it is not a simple clear cut problem.  I just think that even though texts happen off of school property I don't believe that the bullying does not continue at the place kids spend the majority of their time. It is probably more subtle but I think if staff is being observant they will see it and can at least try to address it. 

    Rich you seem to be a level headed good guy so I am sure you try to do the right thing as do many administrators. I still think it is like any occupation, some are good and make an effort and some not so much.

     



    True, hunt.  What I find most dangerous are those masquerading as if they are making an effort.  I think we've all seen those types first-hand.

     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from RichHillOntario. Show RichHillOntario's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    In response to shuperman's comment:

    Problem to this is that most happen away from school or by text or bbm.   Teachers and police can only do what policy and laws enable them to do.   I live in NS and new cyber-law was just passed today.  Check it out.   Hopefully this does help.   The problem with criminal charges in these cases are proving someone was actually using their device via IP address.  And you wanna know what is the hardest part.  Getting the victim to proceed.   No 15 year old wants to give a statement.  No victim no crime in most cases.   the victims in these matters have already been abused so badly, now they go to the police and are rats.  Most 15 yr olds dont think this is a solution.   Ive had more negative statements not eanting police to pursue charges rhen ive had cooperative victims.   Parents lose their mind on the schools and police.  i dont blame the victims and i dont blame the parents of the victims.   Its a tangled web for sure.  

     



    Man, does it hurt me to read this.  I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like for you to experience it.  Must be seriously frustrating.

     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from RichHillOntario. Show RichHillOntario's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    And Trista is a Bruin fan.  Her dad must also have been on Cloud 9 knowing Matt Duschene had his back in the bidding. 

     
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