Re: April Fools - A prank pulled on Stanley
posted at 4/1/2013 7:13 PM EDT
In response to bostonfan191646's comment:
Stanley, you're too gullible. Did you REALLY think that peter chiarelli had a yahoo email address? c'mon man....
The following is an e-mail thread between me, and Stanley. I have redacted his last name, which he did use. Is this cruel? perhaps. Childish? definitely. Hilarious? you betcha.
my first e-mail to stanley. this is after he posted the wrong e-mail address, and then posted the right one.
Looks like I wasn't the only one to be disappointed to see you posted the wrong e-mail address. I have been monitoring the
forums for a while now, and some of your thoughts interest me. We are always looking for people to fill consultant roles. I like that you are one of the few people to call attention to my failures, not just my successes, and you were the only person that drew attention to the fact that we regret the Wheeler transaction. Tell me your thoughts on what I should do at the deadline. To be perfectly honest there are so many options that I'm confused about which direction to go in. In fact, I'm debating standing pat. Tell me what you think, and I'll get back to you and we can discuss. Specifically what is your analysis of Malcolm Subban, and would you be willing to give him up for a big name. Regards, Peter Chiarelli. PS - Obviously this is not my normal e-mail address, as I can't give out my official bruins address to a person I don't know and trust. Because of that it might take me a day or so to get back to you. His response took longer than I expected. I figured he was hitting refresh on his yahoo page, but this is what I received. Everybody makes mistakes Mr Chiarelli ...dont worry about that one ...if I were you I would try to avoid to include Subban in a deal for Iginla ....unless you get a signed player that would make the top 6 forwrards...I suggest that you go strong on trying to get Iginla (custom made for the B's) and also getting a defenseman like Ryan Whitney say for Ferrence and maybe getting Hemsky for Pev would be awesome ...if you need me in Boston in the war room before the trade deadline I will be glad to take the next flight to your office
Richard (next B's GM) That's right. The crazy son of a gun told this man that he was under the impression was willing to hire him, that he intended to take his job. Chiarelli's response:
Thanks for the speedy response Richard. Between you and me, there is a deal in place for Iginla, it does not involve Subban. As of right now it is a 1st round pick, Bartkowski, and Khokhlachev (I'll be glad when i can stop trying to spell his last name). The hold up is I'm trying to pry Sarich out of there as well, not sure that will work out. As for the other suggestions, honestly I have no interest in moving Andrew Ference. There are a couple reasons for that. Sellers don't appear to have much interest in him. His name was brought up with Dallas and San Jose, but he is such a good locker room presence I'd prefer to keep him around. Peverley (I would appreciate spelling out full names as opposed to short hand, as there are so many player names in my head I would rapidly get confused) has a no trade clause, and I know he wouldn't want to get moved unless it was to a contender. Edmonton really wants Jared Knight. Personally I want to hold on to him. I think his trade value will be much higher after a full season in providence. What do you think of him?
Thanks, Peter Stanley's response
JARED KNIGHT IS NOT BAD BUT PERSONNALY I WOULD BET MY HOUSE THAT HE WILL NEVER PLAYED IN THE NHL ..SPPONER IS MUCH BETTER AND STILL STRUGGLES TO MAKE IT...IF EDMONTON WANTS KNIGHT FOR WHITNEY PLEASE DO NOT HESITATE , IF YOU ARE EXHAUSTED BECAUSE OF LAST NIGHT I WILL BE GLAD TO OFFER MYSERVICES TO ASSIST YOU FOR THE REMAINING DAYS BEFORE THE DEADLINE
Yup, that's right. He responded to a potential employer in all caps. I was rendered speechless. Which wasn't a problem because he didn't wait for a response, he sent a follow up email
Mr Chiarelli if you need me for the negotiations all I would ask is you pay my flight ..I will pay my hotel and meals I do it because I am a real BRUINS FANS and I want another Stanley Cup in Boston
Chiarelli's response after finding out that he was going to forward the e-mails to other posters :
Sorry for the delay. I think it's a little premature to get you down here. Quite frankly there is a lot of paperwork and stuff to do, and I would have to talk to Cam and all that stuff. I think leading up to the draft might be a better time to talk about getting you down here with the group. The iginla thing sure hurt. Unfortunately, the only real backup option for something like that would be a winger from Tampa, and Yzerman has no interest in dealing him. I think we can pull off a deal for Whitney, but it is a struggle right now. The Oilers don't just want picks, they want some pretty good prospects. Cam wants to take a run at a high priced defensemen from Calgary, but he has a year left on his deal and I don't think that would be responsible with the cap situation we are in. Right now I think the price for Clowe is too high. What would you give up for him?
PS - don't share these e-mails with anyone you don't know. You can share the content, but I need to have deniability in case potential deals go south.
quickly, he responded with this:
Mr Chiarelli with all respect if I would be your boss I would tell you ''Do whatever it takes but we need somehing to imporve the team before the payoffs'' ......I agree with you I could easily be available for the draft I've got some very interesting propects informations that I do not want toshare at this moment ...I will have to bill you for the drat ..1 week all expenses included (flights, hotels etc on my own) I have a corporation called LOGIXTRA INC and the total for the week would be $7000...I think it will be very valuable for the Bruins to have my input
And please Mr Chiarelli ....dont give up on a deal ..work night and day if u have to but dont stp until Wednesday ...You owe that to the fans to the team and for the future of the BRUINS
Now he's trying to bill the bruins for 7 grand, and telling Chiarelli what he owes the bruins. Again, he didn't wait for a response, and sent this gem:
Dear Mr Chiarelli ! After watching another painful performance this PM ....I am really pissed '' As you can see we need to add up pieces to the puzzle , otherwise ...kiss the playoffs goodbye ...so please get the fuc* on the phone and make a deal prior to the deadline or else I will published these mails on the Boston.com board
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH
Richard So, now he is threatening the bruins GM, and cursing at him, all the while wanting a job.... Chiarelli's response: Okay Richard. We can't have threats like that. Hockey operations need to have 100% confidentiality. I was considering you for a consulting role, but if you can't keep a week of hockey in perspective, and threaten to publish documents regarding hockey operations, I'm not sure we can use you. Peter Of course, Stanley didn't give up: I have not yet published your email what I am saying and excuse the language but I really have to say it that way
Move you aszbefore its too late ! , ! and then he followed up with this:
Mr Chiarelli ...if you really like your team and I think you are well paid to do this job you cannot ignore and expert like me who wants the BRUINS to keep improving ..with the actual roster I had predicted that the B's would win the cup in 2011-2012 and 2013 ....so its time to do some moves and take important decisions otherwise the day is close where I will take the job of BRUINS GM .....so please wake up ...
PS: next step is I will forward these mails to Mr Jacobs if nothing is happening
I don't even know what to say, so Chiarelli responded with this:
Richard. I was all for this. I was all for bringing you in as a consultant. I was thinking we would get you in before the draft. Now you are trying to threaten me into making a trade? saying that you would publish emails if I didn't. I was considering hiring you as a consultant to me and my staff. You would not be calling the shots, you would be advising me. Is this how you would normally interview for a job? I'm sorry, I don't think we can use your services if you would threaten to publish emails.
Regards, Peter Chiarelli
Dear Mr Chiarelli ..I could this job 10 times better than you...I would even garantee Mr Jacobs that I could bring 3 Stanley Cups in the next 10 years to the city of Boston ...so keep sleeping and by the way watch tonight's game,,,and tell me we dont need someone...
Mr Jacobs will get a copt of these mails tonight like I said
ENOUGH IE ENOUGH
I can't make this stuff up. He actually sent this to who he thought was Peter Chiarelli. Yes, I am awful, so I provided some light for the end of the tunnel:
Richard. Choose your next move wisely. It is VERY difficult to get into hockey operations. You normally need a pretty good degree, and playing and/or coaching experience at a high level. Then you need a whole bunch of luck. Do what you will with this e-mails, however be aware that opportunities like this do not come up frequently. We're you to do something ill advised with these e-mails, it would be very likely that it would destroy your chances of ever being involved in hockey at the professional level. The hockey operations world is a tight knit one. Confidentiality is of upmost importance. Those that can't be trusted will never be employed.
his response, which is really just incredible:
Now stop treating me like a child and lets get together after the NON trade. Deadline and we will discuss into details what has to be done in the next few months with this team
ohhhhh Stanley. Do us all a favor and go back to the entertaining poster you used to be. Go crazy about a player, sure, but don't start 2 threads a day about it.
Thats gold Jerry! Gold!