With NFL on the horizon, a deadly lull on the board in the weeks leading up to rookie camps, and waaaaaaay too many chicken little Marchand threads, my brain was idle enough to reflect on just how brutal most of the Bruins' nicknames are.  Tank is OK, but "Horty"  "Bergie" "Marshy" ... yawn.  Could use a little over-the-top media gondola juice.

I think Seguin's the easiest - and the most ripe for a WWE-like nickname.  Both Seggy Stardust and Raygun Seguin work for me (in the same goofy mood Berman can sometimes work for me: Alexander "if lovin' you is wrong I don't wanna be" Wright.

Others?  (warning: offering up "Manchuk" will earn you serious mocking)

'Dougie don't call me junior'.

I have a tendency to agree with NAS on nicknames.  Although Dougie was listed as Hamilton's first name on NHL.com.  Also I thought "Manchuck"  and "DarthMcQuaider" were funny albeit for a short time.  

Ok, so let me clarify, isla.  I'm not proposing these as real nicknames - I'm thinking of them as over-the-top, excited play-by-play or SportsCentre embellishments.  The difference is, for want of a better word, the degree of intimacy.  I'm sure the players call Bergeron "Bergy" for convenience, because they spend a lot of time with him and calling him Patrice Bergeron every time would be stupid.  There's nothing convenient about a Bermanesque nickname.  Kevin "Large Mouth" Bass, Brett "Frankly My Dear" Butler....  It's just a riff.

Ben "Winter" Coates will stay with me forever.  God, I hate Chris Berman.

Let me think about this....

In Response to Re: Bermanize the Bruins:


Me too ! Berman's nicknames were 'cute' when he first starting using them now they are corny.  

But I'll play along . Milan Lucic and Chong. Ugghh . Sorry everyone !

How about Dennis "don't go off" Seidenberg........   
Joe "that's a man baby!" Corvo.........

I'll give it a whirl, and i agree with the berman beating the dead horse but he did have some that made me laugh out loud. Here are a few, BTW thats a good one chowda.

1. C.C splish splash I was taking a Sabathia.
2. Jay Ferris Buhner
3. Dennis Upperdeckersley
4. Barry U.S Bonds
5. Eddie drink and be Murray.

Okay I'll have to come back to this with some Bruins...Lucic and Chong takes the cake right now.That will be tough to beat.

Thats some funny stuff. This thread made me laugh and pee my pants. Manchuk and Lucic and chong had me rolling, but DarthMcQuaider takes the cake....Funny stuff.

Tyler "Say it once, why" Seguin ?
Rich Peverly brothers

In Response to Bermanize the Bruins:


OK, first of all "Seggy Stardust" is THE best nickname i've heard in a dog's age. Berman himself could not have done better.

2nd, the best nickname Berman ever came up with was for the same guy who made the HOF this year: Bert "Be In" Blyleven.

As for B's nicknames I'll throw a bunch of crud against the wall and see if any of it sticks:

Daniel Paille-a

Tukka "Man in the Iron" Rask

Rich Peverly Hills

Michael "I Know You" Ryder (Gonna miss me when I'm gone). (Ask a Dead-head)

Andrew "Ride The" Ference

Brad "Watch the Band" Marchand

Gregory CampbellSoup (why mess with what works?)

Nathan "Hot Dogs" Horton, or for our Canadian friends: Nathan "Tim" Horton's

Claude Julien Potatoes

....and I'd really like to see Jared Knight and Ryan Spooner put on the same line with somebody named "Faulk." (Yes, I'm groaning as well.)

In Response to Bermanize the Bruins:

Seggy Stardust is a great nickname if he can become the star some of us think he can. 

In Response to Re: Bermanize the Bruins:


Awesome!!  Too funny.

Ryan "if you can't lay her" Spooner

Daniel "The Life of" Paille

Jordan "turn the" Caron

Tommy "Double" Cross
Anthony "Hidden" Camara
Ben "Let's talk about" Sexton
Alexander "Diet" Khokhlachev

Zach "The Mammal" Hamill
Alexander "Legends of the" Fallstrom

and...

Carter "this one time at band" Camper

...Don't bother, I already hate myself.

In Response to Re: Bermanize the Bruins:


Are you kidding me? That's GOLD, baby!

wait until Nassie gets a hold of this thread

I think the best one I ever heard was

Adam "Greatful" Deadmarsh!

Patrice "Ham" Bergeron
David "Crutch" Krejci
Milan "The Shift" Lucic  (from his Junior days)
Zdeno "The Horror" Chara

OK that is enough for me.  GOOD THREAD!

In Response to Re: Bermanize the Bruins:


That first one is going to be tough for anyone to beat.

Patrice's pieces Bergeron
Adam McQuiad in the water
Tuukka Rask & Flagon
Jordan furniture Caron

 

In Response to Re: Bermanize the Bruins:


Michael "I know you" Ryder - nice

How about Daniel "I Love Hair" Paille?

In Response to Re: Bermanize the Bruins:

TTBI, that song is far better than that player.......nicely done though.

Spooner is good but Lucic and Chong is priceless

Paul "I'm not from Korea" Kariya
Joshua "I'll have another" Hennessey
David "Man-o-" Warsofsky
Colby "Cheese" Cohen
Zack "Green Eggs and" Hamill
Steve "Alloe and" Kampher
Jhonas "Brothers" Enroth
Brian "Bobby" Boucher
Jussi "I'm Not" Jokinen
David "I don't want a table, how about a" Booth
Johan "I'm playing out of my" Hedberg
Andy "yellow and blue make" Greene
Henrik "I'm" Tallinder "than you"
Martin "Put another" Biron "my tab"
Brian "Rolling" Boyle
Marion "Zsa Zsa" Gaboric
Mike "Sweet and" Saur
Blair "Place your" Betts
Sergei "Jay and silent" Bobrovsky
Eric "All's well that ends" Wellwood
Eric "Beer" Brewer
Victor "Watch your" Hedman
Alexandre "Jean Luc" Picard
Dmitry "Hate me" Orlov "me"
Marcus "Freddy" Kruger
Patrick Eaves "on down the road"
Tomas "Steak" Tartar
Ethan "Island of Doctor" Moreau
Francis "Gold and Silver" Bouillion
Martin Erat "a-tat-tat"
Jordon "oneone (I don't wear a)" Tootoo
Patrick "Pour me some more" Marleau
Antti "Up (and the Knights who say)" Niemi

Not mine but worth mentioning:
Nathon Horton "Hears a whoo"

Wow, way to much time on my hands...

Some of these are great. I like nicknames that don't involve the players actual name.  I'd rather come up with something that describes their style or appearance.  I do like Seggy Stardust, and Raygun Seguin conjures images of Habs nicknames of old, so I like it.  I also like Lone Wolf McQuaid.  I would dub Horton "Grins", Marchand " le Nez" based on his french surname and his most notable feature and I like it when Krejci is called "the Artist".

I do like Zsa Zsa for Gaborik, and I might stick to just "Silent" for Bobrowski.

Olberman had a great one while at ESPN.

Nikolai Khabibulin--very well thank you!