As Brandon Banks(notes) was prematurely celebrating a 95-yard return for a touchdown by casually dropping the ball as he crossed the goal line, television analyst Joe Theismann was breaking out his soapbox to lecture viewers on the evils of said hot dogging.
The Washington Redskins punt returner flipped the ball DeSean Jackson(notes)-style right as he was passing into the end zone. The subsequent replay review gave the former Redskins quarterback a chance to hold court on the merits of maintaining possession of the ball while scoring a touchdown.
The www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/dc-sports-bog/post/joe-theismann-on-brandon-banks-and-stupid-hot-dogging/2011/09/02/gIQAlA1nwJ_blog.html#pagebreak">money quote, which is cut off in our clip:
"Is it so hard, at this day and age, to run the ball into the end zone? I mean, I don't think football has changed that much where you don't want to score touchdowns. It's so simple. It's SO simple. I mean, you know, why don't you run, you know what, if you run around and hand it to an official you don't have to worry about something like this. It's stupid. It's stupid hot dogging."
Theismann's not wrong, he's just way too self-satisfied. We get it; Banks should run fully into the end zone before celebrating. He knows it, we know it, it's fairly obvious to everybody. There's no need to beat it into the ground.
Nice job by Joey T of hedging his bets on how that review would turn out, by the way. I thought the ref was going to reverse it too but certainly wasn't confident enough to preach about it for five minutes.
Also missing from that clip is Walt Whitman's www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/dc-sports-bog/post/joe-theismann-on-brandon-banks-and-stupid-hot-dogging/2011/09/02/gIQAlA1nwJ_blog.html">Theismann's poem inspired by the play. "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, make sure you got the ball in your hands, or else you won't get a TD." That sounds like something that would be printed on tree mail in "Survivor" to warn of an upcoming immunity challenge.
Banks talked about the play after the game.
"Aw man, I don't even remember what I was thinking," Banks said to Comcast SportsNet, via www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/dc-sports-bog/post/joe-theismann-on-brandon-banks-and-stupid-hot-dogging/2011/09/02/gIQAlA1nwJ_blog.html">DC Sports Bog. "I didn't even realize it was like that. I thought I was 10 yards in the end zone. It won't never happen again, I promise."
Here's what I don't get. DeSean Jackson can catch a ball in traffic, contort his body so he lands ready to run and take off upfield at top speed, eluding multiple defenders along the way. Brandon Banks can see a seam in the special teams and anticipate a block from 30 yards away while outrunning everyone on the field. Yet neither have the spatial capabilities to figure out when they're crossing a big white line?
Regardless, one thing is for certain: If replay reviews take so long that Joe Theismann is writing poetry during them, then that's a sure sign that replay reviews take too darn long.