If Rusty IM'd with Bill Belichick
Rusty: Bill! Hi!
Bill: Hello, Rusty *groan*
Rusty: How's it goin' tonight?
Bill: Was goin' great til about 2 seconds ago, why?
Rusty: No reason. Just wondering
Bill: Yeah, well, nice talking to you, Rus, but I'm very busy right now
Rusty: Ah, okay. no problem. Didnt mean to disturb you
Bill: Thank you, Rusty
Rusty: Saw you were online. Just thought I'd say hello
Bill: Yeah, lucky me
Rusty: Well, good night, Bill
Bill: Pleasure as always, Rus *eyeroll*
Rusty: One quick thing before I go
Bill: What's that? *groan*
Rusty: Was wondering if you'd evaluate my performance at the Front Burner Forum
Bill: The Front Burner what?
Rusty: It's a Patriots message board, Bill. I'm its resident BB groupie
Bill: Oh, that. Yes *ugh*
Rusty: I throttle the feeble Cupcake Guild for you everyday
Bill: Ive been meaning to talk to you about that, Rus
Rusty: Bludgeon the Irrationals
Bill: I know you mean well and everything
Rusty: Vanquish trolls, especially the smelly Jets ones
Bill: But your entire approach in there
Rusty: One guy in particular named Bustchise who has 40 screen names he signs in and out of all day
Bill: Troubles me
Rusty: He's a flippin', dorky inbred Jets fan 45 year old virgin from New Jersey
Bill: Hold on a second, would you please?
Rusty: He works at a movie theater selling Milk Duds for a living. LOSER
Bill: Yes, I know he is
Rusty: So what's the problem?
Bill: You. YOU are the problem!
Bill: Yes, you
Bill: Every time you open your #### mouth in that Front Burner place, you make me look bad
Rusty: What? No I dont!!
Bill: Your manner, Rusty...It's arrogant and outrageous
Rusty: Huh? Why? Because I defend you? I call it "reminding the idiots that I'm right" after they attack me for posting an unpopular, but correct, opinion
Bill: You are overbearing, and your Brady bashing is excessive
Rusty: Fact! Matthew Mulligan had a better post season than Brady last year. Not even remotely up for debate
Bill: Fact! Your hostility toward Tom is beyond weird. It's disgraceful, and you should be ashamed of yourself
Rusty: Oh geesh. Now youre sounding like a pink hat, Bill. Has mthurl taken over your Yahoo or something? lol
Bill: You act like the little professor in there
Rusty: Nope. You are confusing me with that monkey, zbellino
Bill, No, I'm not confusing you with anybody, Rusty
Rusty. Yes you are, and youre starting to #### me off, Bill
Bill: Youre always talking down to people and lecturing lecturing lecturing
Bill: Like John Silber used to only worse
Rusty: That is simply not true, and you know it
Bill: Yes, it is true
Bill: And youre gonna have to change, or else...WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME??
Rusty: (oop!) Nothing, Bill!!
Bill: Have you lost your mind, Rusty?
Rusty: Umm *gulp*
Bill: Who in the #### do you think youre talking to?
Rusty: Let me explain!
Bill: Explain what? You just called me a #### MORON!
Rusty: No, I didnt. Youre a genius!
Bill: Yes, you damn did
Rusty: No, I didnt mean you, Bill!
Bill: The hell, you didnt
Rusty: I meant this ummm...BBW
Bill: This what?
Rusty: A Brady Ball Washer named TFB12. He's the moron!
Bill: Nice backpedal, Rusty. Now Ive heard everything
Rusty: He's the ultimate Millenial dork deluxe, Bill
Rusty: Says he's married with kids.Thinks saying so gives him some kind of board superiority. Laughable
Rusty: He cant be anymore than 23. Lives on Facebook and Twitter
Rusty: No human interaction whatsoever. Sad
Rusty: He tries to mask his awkwardness by posting funny pictures, which are good, but he is a social misfit
Rusty: I would pay money to watch him socialize at a party. It would be hilarious
Rusty: He even made up a phony story about how he became a Pats fan. Embarrassing
Rusty: No wonder the terrorists hate us. If all Americans were like TFB, I would join Al Qaeda and lead the jihad myself. Just make sure none of my 72 virgins is Bustchise LOL
Rusty: And another thing...
Bill: SHUT UP!
Rusty: Yes, Bill!
Bill: Ive had enough of your bull #### for one night
Rusty: Yes, Bill
Bill: Do you have any idea how annoying you are?
Rusty: Yes, Bill!
Rusty: I mean no, Bill
Bill: How did you get my account name anyway?
Rusty: My uncle has had season tickets since 1978. I think he gave it to me. Or maybe it was my aunt. I forget actually
Bill: Nevermind. Just get the hell outta here
Rusty: Yes, Bill. Didnt mean to upset you
Bill: And dont come back either
Rusty: Okay, Bill. I promise I wont message you again
Bill: Good, now please go
Rusty: Yes, Bill. Goodnight, Bill
Bill: Goodnight, Rusty
Rusty: Thank you for everything, Bill
Bill: Oh, and Rusty?
Rusty: Yes, Bill?
Bill: Next time that mthurl guy says "would of" instead of "would have"...
Rusty: Yes, Bill?
Bill: Just let it go, okay?
Rusty: Yes, Bill. But it's ungrammatical
Bill: I dont care. Just do as youre told. Following orders (my orders) is the Patriot Way
Rusty: But he's a teacher, Bill (AP puff pastry lol). He needs to start talking like a big boy now. If I dont correct him, he'll never learn. And furthermore...
Bill: JUST DO AS YOURE DAMN TOLD, MFer!
Rusty: Yes, Bill! I will do as I'm damned told! Good night, Bill
Bill: Good night, Rusty
Rusty: Good luck this seas--oh, hey wait a second!
Rusty: I almost forgot
Rusty: This may be an awkward time to ask...
Bill: Dont ask then
Rusty: Just wondering if it'd be okay to send you out a quick selfie
Rusty: Nothing fancy. I promise it will be discreet
Rusty: Just me in a Speedo striking the Heisman pose
Bill: No. Absolutely not. N-O. No
Rusty: Very tasteful, Bill. You have my word
Rusty: Show Linda. She likes beautiful things. It might turn her on
Rusty: Okay, Bill. You win. Well, thank you for the conversation tonight
Bill: Yeah, it was great *groan*
Rusty: If there is ever anything I can do for you
Bill: Youve done enough already
Rusty: Just let me know
Bill: Sure thing, Rusty *smh*
Rusty: BB #1, baby. Did you see my thread?
Bill: Yes, I saw it
Rusty: ^^Best coach/GM of all time^^
Bill: Thank you. I'm signing off now
Rusty: Not your fault Brady cr*ps himself every January
Bill: Oh, God. Here we go again
Rusty: His obsession with the finesse offense has sabotaged our game plans for years. He sold his soul long ago to pursue Gomie's stats. Selfish, entitled, egotistical girlyman...
Bill: Goodnight, Rusty *eyeroll* [Bill has disconnected from the internet]
Rusty: Good night, Bill
+1. Pegged the creepy stalker perfectly