Re: Meriweather has message for Marshall
posted at 10/28/2013 8:37 PM EDT
In response to NYC's comment:
In response to dreighver's comment:
In response to stinkman's comment:
In response to Not-A-Shot's comment:
I don't much care what someone has been diagnosed with, you don't beat your girlf
More ignorance... sheesh.
A mental illness isn't an excuse for domestic violence, nor is it a reason to condone it.
It is, however, a reason that explains the behavior, and should be addressed to prevent future issues, and understood to prevent such uninformed, hateful opinions, like the many expressed in this thread.
Expecting a person with BPD to be entirely friendly, cooperative, and easy to get along with (in a relationship of any kind) is like expecting a dyslexic to read some the finest literature in the world without stuttering, or expecting someone with muscular dystrophy to be a professional athlete. It is literally impossible for them without treatment -- they cannot control it. It can be managed and improved, but it isn't simply a matter of "self-control". They can't control it -- that's what makes the illness they have, an illness.
I have experienced symptoms of BPD.
1) It is never cool to beat anyone, male or female.
Agreed. I made this clear in my post(s). I'm simply saying that BPD can explain Marshall's actions. His having BPD doesn't condone his actions, nor does it make it acceptable. It is simply an explanation. Obviously treatment is needed and help should be sought if violence is becoming problematic.
2) Just because someone has BPD does not mean others should have to understand it (including Merriweather), it is up to the person with BPD to learn to understand the world better. That is the beginning of learning to be accountable for one's actions.
I agree with your statement with regards to personal accountability and responsibility. No doubt the sufferer bears the responsibility to become informed about their illness and seek treatment. That said, I believe that others need to be aware of the condition as well. Well, at least before they comment on the issue. If folks want to be entirely ignorant with regards to BPD, or other mental illnesses, that's totally fine. But if they want to chime in on the topic, or share their two-cents, I believe they are obligated to be informed before doing such a thing.
3)People with BPD can get better with the proper help. The most effective treatment was developed by Marsha Linehan PhD. using skill training modules to learn to tolerate extreme uncomfortable emotions so they are not acted out destructively. Treatment is difficult but it is helpful. Google her if you want more info.
This is good to hear. I knew treatment had some affect, but I'm glad to hear it coming from someone with direct experience.
4) We all need help from time to time!