In response to BostonTrollSpanker's comment:
"he's a total narcissist, i actuallly got his room as an officer my last year before i got busted with a hottie fem in the chapel (but i digress)..."
please elaborate, this is one digression we will enjoy
spankee, always suspected u were a per-vy wanting to do bad things to Flo. here it goes:
i'm on a roll my last year of high school. i'm an officer (captain) despite being at the school for less than 2 years (total BMOC), my company's dominating all the drills, parades, marksmanship and discipline awards plus i'm co-captain of the soccer team, and getting buckets at will in bball, among other things.. thought football was too wimpy at the time so i declined despite the coach wanting me to tryout at receiver and defensive back. my soccer motto on D was "if u must miss the ball, don't ever miss the BONE!" fancied myself as the lawrence taylor of the pitch!
since both sports practiced around the same time and on adjacent fields, i sometimes showed up a few times to burn the football guys and show off my skills but no could do (wasnt born here so more passion for da other football).. also had some scholarship offers for soccer, so i was cool. had i not been "forced" to leave my tough inner city NYC high school and thus our top-ranked soccer team (undefeated+i was a captain) where i was making everyone look like jabros, would have definitely ended up at a division 1 school with full scholarship. oh well.. them b the breaks and the background for the DEED...
ok to the MEAT: in a military school, there are rotating officers of the day (OTD) on weekends (biggest man/gal on campus, everyone drops when u tell them to and does whatever u want without debate, kind of like being BB). total power. my shift is on that saturday. u get assigned and u have no clue who the 4 peeps under u are til u get there (main building). i show up at 4A, get stuff in order... first jabro comes in at 4:30, other 2 by 4:45 (DEADLINE is 5a), send them out on duties for we have to get the place in top shape by 7a. at 5:03A, coming in as casually as can be is everyone's dream gal esp when guys get together and start dropping dimes and names of who they most wanna hook up with.
lets call her Robyn, she was also an officer and supposed to b my #2. she was known for never giving it up and being high and mighty and never giving any of the boys even a snowball's shot. well, the commy is TICKED and very red. unlike the others, she just sashays her way in, gives a half-hearted salute with more concern about finishing her makeup than doing any duties. then she complains about how hot it is in the room as she stares down the commy and takes off her dress blues-top as she sits down, making it very clear in her t-shirt that she's a very FREE american (use your imagination).
these are all very clear code violations. if only i could only stand up, i would have written her up big time and made those sacred rules very clear. but like madonna (biggest thing back then), she starts tellin me how she knows noone's around and they've all been assigned and that she's been checking out the commy all this time and couldnt believe her luck when told who the OTD was. lets just say it was Game on! the match had been lit! when finally able to stand for duty and she finally put her top back on, after making me tell her exactly how to do her makeup and what style i most liked and so forth, we left for pole duties. no, not that kind.. had to put the flag up and go thru sacred ceremonies before leading all students on a march and drill session into the cafe (where i again had to lead and sit on the highest throne).
the rest of the day everyone worked and did all their assignments, except wobby for some reason. found it too HARD to punish her though. threatened her twice and she willingly assumed the cane position. told her to drop and give me 20 as i had earlier to one of the guys when he got out of line but instead she SLOWLY assumed the kneeling Lovelace position and by the time she got her backside down to assume pushup position, i totally forgot what she was down there for anyways... oh well...
somehow i managed to keep it together for all the small things that day. the biggest duty of the weekend comes around dinner time when you have to get the flag down and go thru activities with all the big shots incl the commandant and some private guests around. that weekend they had some board of trustees and others around which is part of the reason i was given the assignment to make sure everything worked out perfectly in the first place. i did my job actually too well. everything was on time and perfect so since we didnt have to b out til 5p to start the final process, i told everyone to split incl robyn for the next hour or so.
all left, but within 7 minutes, SHE returned in near tears and under pretense of losing some key stuff and if i could help her find them. we ended up in the chapel where she had done an earlier assignment. for some reason, watching her slowly crawl around on all fours searching for her keys she just got my mind totally off time, rules and place. i felt it was time to give myself an assignment. one thing lead to another and it was SINNING time over and over, again and again and again and over and over.
o yep, we finally rememembered there was another pole that needed attention. was weird, we got out and it was fully dark like a ghosttown, looked up and flag was down, walked towards mess hall and it was full.. oh oh.. big time! it was like 7p. sent her to her room, and came up with some lame story of her being sick and had to take care of the demons that seemed to b possessing her. everyone said they were looking for us and wanted to know where we were. said when i couldnt find her, i went down to the basement within a basement and she was almost passed out and bla bla.. commandant said, "you are a good soldier, figured something like that had to have happened for it to be the FIRST time in the school's history (100+ at the time) for the flag not to come down on time or the OTD to be AWOL". somehow i thought i had gotten away with it.
on monday, as i'm in Math class at 3p, get a callout from the teacher that the colonel wanted to c me as usually happens when promotions are to be handed out. everyone actually started clapping with the assumption i was on my way up to another rung. i go strutting down there since none of the protocol that led to rank loss had happened up to that point. i walk in and like 10 peeps in serious unis just excused themselves. commandant tells me to sit and goes on and on in a Bray Wyatt kinda way about adam and eve and the forbidden fruit and then asks me again.. "where was i on saturday?" its either tell the truth or channel my inner spygate BB. i go for the latter.
at that point, commandant calls in his #2 to describe what he saw in the chapel on saturday evening. at that point, i said "oh yep, i must have misremembered.." beat clemens to it by decades! now this catholic dude starts telling us about how he had to stand there for what semed like an eternity and watch me and her do that in front of jesus, virgin mary and bla bla bla. "i couldnt get myself to walk in to that sacred place with such unsacred acts happening right in the open so i just walked away... eventually", yep right. thank gawd we had no cell fone or easy cams back then.. maybe not...
after the commy got the inevitable RACE lecture about how doing that to a hot blonde would make some peeps very uncomfortable bla bla.. that everyone else would b kicked out of school in that scenario but he could grasp the temptation and so on.. he then asked for my stripes, all of them.. went from captain to jabro private like that. he asked me to pick a new company though rather than ordering me to one.
within 3 hours, we are all in the cafe with none of the usual leaks happening beforehand.. but everyone knows something's up for i am now a jabro with no stripes and hanging with the buffalo bills of companies if u will, after building up a strong belichick/parcells one. i'm depressed, about to lose it.. the first captain gets up there and announces that due to EXTREME PDA (everyone knew what that meant) cadet Commy was now demoted to private and reassigned to company X.
right away, i learned a strong human lesson... the place broke protocol and went nuts with who who who chants... didnt matter what the act was, was about with whom the act was with. when they said Robyn Hottie, the place soon reverberated with commy chants for like 3 minutes with me being treated like the Domino's guy arriving in a starving somali village. the commy never did a single orderly and was like a made man in a prison. i instantly had more cred than the commandant, first captain or company captain. noone even bothered to get me out for marches or for intramurals and it was cool. if i wanted an extra hour of sleep, i just took it. if i wanted some chow brought to my room, it just got there. if i wanted to watch hunter, miami vice or the giants, the channel just got changed.
i eventually got a comparable rank back before graduation so my mom and family had no clue what went down. unfortunately for Robyn, life was never the same. learned a lot about s-l-ut-shaming (from both sexes) and how tough it can b for women to really b liberated in that way. lots of empathy now on the subject. i actually went to her wedding a few years back, hubby still has no clue what we went thru.. just skipped that part out of the biography and intro. i still stop by on occasion to visit her and the youngies. hubby now wants to be a marketing client, should be interesting. hey, it could get me hanging around them more often and even in more chapels (his dad is still a pastor).
til this day, that story has legs like joe montana to dwight clark in san fran or dougie flutie to phelan in that bowl game or adam V splitting them snowbowl uprights in bawston... what was more interesting is that every other hottie on campus had to aspire to get on the list (even as alumni) as the story just got bigger and BIGGER over time.. oh well!