Re: Rusty, Whats Your Name?
posted at 2/12/2014 11:32 PM EST
In response to PhatVirgin's comment:
In response to NYC's comment:
Scapegoating 1 person for problems we all have in various degrees is not honest. At times, we are all lonely, scared and aggressive.
Peace to everyone!
does that give Dick the "right" to do what he does? C'mon, he's ususually the instigator. So, why should anyone take his crap?
Thanks for taking the time and caring enough to respond. I get your frustration and anger. Some people do try to provoke others simply because it is the way they are. Sure, we could get into psychological explanations for their behavior but it is not necessary. The end result is we have a choice to get upset or to move on and learn from it.
If one gets upset and starts hurling insults back, the insults are usually a reflection of our own internal selves. This is the basis of scapegoating: attributing our faults to others. If we call someone a loser, lonely, no life, aggressive, drunkard it is probably because that is a fear of our own.
If something is a fear of my own, I prefer to confront it in myself rather than blame some one else who has similar characteristics as me. So, if someone is behaving obnoxious I ask myself: does this remind of something about myself that I don't want to face? Since in fact, I can be quite critical, controlling and overbearing, I tend to find that others negative behavior does remind me of myself! So, it is a way of looking at the parts of myself that is just like that person versus criticizing them for it. Furthermore, it is hard enough to change ourselves and impossible to change others!
So, I get therapy for myself and discuss the Pats all at once!! LOL.
I wish no harm to anyone here and only the best to everyone. Chit, life is hard enough.