Some Advice for the New England Media

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    Some Advice for the New England Media

    pretty funny column and may come in handy this coming season!

     

    Steve Politi/Star-Ledger Columnist By Steve Politi/Star-Ledger Columnist
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    on June 10, 2013 at 9:42 PM, updated June 11, 2013 at 1:02 AM

     

    To Boston-area sports columnists:

    Congratulations! Tim Tebow is signing with the Patriots and, on behalf of the chroniclers of his short-lived career with the Jets, I wanted to send along an extra large bottle of ibuprofen and a few tips for how to cover him properly.

    I know, I know. Right now, you’re probably thinking something crazy like "he’s a third-string quarterback, why would I waste my time covering him at all?" You’ll get over that. You’ll get sucked in like all of us down here did, becoming hopeless and happy slaves to the Tebow Hype Machine.

    tebow.jpgTim Tebow made national news with his shirtless run through the rain after a Jets practice in August 2012.

    It just happens. One day, you’re writing columns about a football team, and the next, you’re spending your time in the musing about his value as a decoy on the punt team and grilling scout-team receivers about the accuracy of his practice passes. Resistance is futile. Embrace it.

    Then, before you know it, you’ll wake up one day and realize you’ve written 47 Tebow columns and can’t remember even one of them. You’ll be making an important contribution to the rapid decline of sports discourse in this country, and we’ll all be dumber as a result.

    So, to help you on your way with that process, here are a few tips:

    Tip 1: Take a strong stance right away. Either acquiring Tebow is a stroke of genius that will surely revolutionize how the Patriots play football, or it is a disastrous move that will undermine Tom Brady and this entire football dynasty. Brilliant. Or insanity. No room for nuance here. Pick one and dig in.

    You can never have enough Tebow."

    The best part: There is no wrong answer. If, for example, Tebow has no impact on the Patriots offense, then you can blame the team’s offensive coaches for failing to utilize him in a way that revolutionized football. Find a suitable scapegoat like Tony Sparano — I’m looking at you, Josh McDaniels — and blame him for everything.

    Tip 2: Everything he does is news. A post-practice shirtless run in the rain? News. A blind quote from a teammate questioning his ability as quarterback? Big news. He lines up as a running back in practice … while shirtless? Twitter will explode.

     

    Video: Tim Tebow running shirtless after day 2 of training camp This is a 15 second time lapse of New York Jets Tim Tebow running after day 2 of training camp in the rain shirtless on July 28, 2012. 99 pictures were taken during the 1 minute period. (Video by William Perlman/The Star-Ledger)

     

    President Obama weighed in on Tebow during training camp. No, really — that actually happened. Put it this way: There are still Jets beat writers with post-traumatic stress disorder from covering him last year. If you strike the Tebow pose in their presence, they’ll curl up in the fetal position.

    "You can never have enough Tebow," Jets owner Woody Johnson said. That one quote was news for weeks.

    Tip 3: Try to avoid actually speaking to Tebow, whenever possible. He’s super excited. He’s just trying to get better and help the team. He loves the Florida Gators and smiles a lot. Nothing to see here.

    No, your best bet is to talk to other players, anonymously. Also, be sure to grill coach Bill Belichick about him every single day. This will be your sweet revenge for all those boring press conferences over the years.

    Tip 4: Tom Brady is finished. Okay, not really. But someday, right? So don’t let things like "facts" get in your way of wild speculation about what the organization might do with their newest asset.

    Try writing a column that’ll fit under this headline: "Will Tebow take over when Brady retires?" That’ll get you at least four appearance on a variety of ESPN2 shows, and eternal damnation.

    Tip 5: This will not end well. Be ready.

    Maybe his limited role will not be enough to please his legions of fans. Or maybe the media frenzy will be too much for the usually button-down organization? The Patriots only carry two quarterbacks on their roster now, so Tebow might not make it out of training camp, and then what?

    But it will end well for you, Boston-area sports columnists. Controversy. Intrigue. Endless hype. Tebow came and went with the Jets, a year that was an unmitigated disaster for everyone involved but the ink-stained hacks who chronicled every ugly moment.

    Enjoy!

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from TFB12. Show TFB12's posts

    Re: Some Advice for the New England Media

    Thanks for posting, forties.  Who know's how this is all going to play out but I'm loving it already.  To see Belichick handle all the media questions about Tebow is going to be classic.  Either Bill is going to totally troll all the media and secretly have a blast doing so or he is going to get totally annoyed like never before with all the dumb questions he is going to be asked.  Either way, there are going to be some very epic moments in the very near future.   BB is going to go down as one of the greatest trolls ever, I love it!

    BB is going to do something good with Tebow, have no idea what but he will do something with him and it's going to make Rex Ryan look like a complete idiot for not having a clue what to do with him.

    Sit back and enjoy!

     

    ---------------------------------------------

    check out my Patriots photoshops @ patsfanfotoshop.tumblr.com for some good laughs.


    Photobucket


     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from palookaski. Show palookaski's posts

    Re: Some Advice for the New England Media

    The answer to this is Belichick knows ...... BB will make the media into fools because that's all this Tebow mania is, a creation of the media and a guy who made a fool of himself by Tebowing on the field. Even Tebow now knows this was wrong and anti-Biblical, so it's all hype. He never once Tebowed in NY. He never was a cancer in the locker room, not once. The big mouths who are the Jets made these accusations appear to be a locker room disturbance to deflect from the real Circus atmosphere that was the Jets, in short the guy got screwed and blamed and never used properly to take advantage of his other abilities.

    Just go to the Ganggreen forum and see for yourselves what they really think, if you think I'm BS-ing you. Tebow knows he will never be a QB in NE. BB will not allow a circus in NE. The circus never happened with Ocho, Hanesworth or Moss to linger, He took action.

    Tebow will be just another player to BB, trying to make the Team, that's about it. There is a planned place for Tebow in NE, but with BB we will never hear of it unless Tebow demonstrates his own worth with what Belichick has planned. Tebow is very athletic and just may do the job that BB has in store.

    I do know this, that I've seen Tebow (over two seasons) carry 2 defenders along the turf while hanging on him to the end zone. Most of his TDs were on the ground, a powerful athlete indeed if used accordingly.

    Have a good day ....

     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from PatsEng. Show PatsEng's posts

    Re: Some Advice for the New England Media

    In response to palookaski's comment:

    The answer to this is Belichick knows ...... BB will make the media into fools because that's all this Tebow mania is, a creation of the media and a guy who made a fool of himself by Tebowing on the field. Even Tebow now knows this was wrong and anti-Biblical, so it's all hype. He never once Tebowed in NY. He never was a cancer in the locker room, not once. The big mouths who are the Jets made these accusations appear to be a locker room disturbance to deflect from the real Circus atmosphere that was the Jets, in short the guy got screwed and blamed and never used properly to take advantage of his other abilities.

    Just go to the Ganggreen forum and see for yourselves what they really think, if you think I'm BS-ing you. Tebow knows he will never be a QB in NE. BB will not allow a circus in NE. The circus never happened with Ocho, Hanesworth or Moss to linger, He took action.

    Tebow will be just another player to BB, trying to make the Team, that's about it. There is a planned place for Tebow in NE, but with BB we will never hear of it unless Tebow demonstrates his own worth with what Belichick has planned. Tebow is very athletic and just may do the job that BB has in store.

    I do know this, that I've seen Tebow (over two seasons) carry 2 defenders along the turf while hanging on him to the end zone. Most of his TDs were on the ground, a powerful athlete indeed if used accordingly.

    Have a good day ....



    There are currently reporters who never covered sports before waiting outside an empty Gillette right now. BB might not have a choice in it becoming a circus

     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from rtuinila. Show rtuinila's posts

    Re: Some Advice for the New England Media

    In response to PatsEng's comment:

    In response to palookaski's comment:

     

    The answer to this is Belichick knows ...... BB will make the media into fools because that's all this Tebow mania is, a creation of the media and a guy who made a fool of himself by Tebowing on the field. Even Tebow now knows this was wrong and anti-Biblical, so it's all hype. He never once Tebowed in NY. He never was a cancer in the locker room, not once. The big mouths who are the Jets made these accusations appear to be a locker room disturbance to deflect from the real Circus atmosphere that was the Jets, in short the guy got screwed and blamed and never used properly to take advantage of his other abilities.

    Just go to the Ganggreen forum and see for yourselves what they really think, if you think I'm BS-ing you. Tebow knows he will never be a QB in NE. BB will not allow a circus in NE. The circus never happened with Ocho, Hanesworth or Moss to linger, He took action.

    Tebow will be just another player to BB, trying to make the Team, that's about it. There is a planned place for Tebow in NE, but with BB we will never hear of it unless Tebow demonstrates his own worth with what Belichick has planned. Tebow is very athletic and just may do the job that BB has in store.

    I do know this, that I've seen Tebow (over two seasons) carry 2 defenders along the turf while hanging on him to the end zone. Most of his TDs were on the ground, a powerful athlete indeed if used accordingly.

    Have a good day ....

     



    There are currently reporters who never covered sports before waiting outside an empty Gillette right now. BB might not have a choice in it becoming a circus

     




    BB always has the choice to allow the circus or not. Tebow will say four things or be gone. Those four things are "I'm glad for this opportunity", "I am going to work hard to be a member of this team", "I will do what ever coach wants me to do" and "you'll have to ask coach about that." Saying the same things over and over again closes down the circus.

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from ctredsoxfanhugh. Show ctredsoxfanhugh's posts

    Re: Some Advice for the New England Media

    If anyone can contain this situation it's BB and Kraft.  If they realize they've made a mistake they will cut him in a second.  

    The thing is Tebow himself is not a polarizing character, it's the circus that surrounds him and NE will drown that out.  

    I think hey view Tebow as a good locker room guy with immense physical talent who has been out of position.  They will turn him into a good NFL player who contributes to the team in some capacity and then turn around and smile at the Jets! And the rest of the league.

     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from 42AND46. Show 42AND46's posts

    Re: Some Advice for the New England Media

    In response to TFB12's comment:

    Thanks for posting, forties.  Who know's how this is all going to play out but I'm loving it already.  To see Belichick handle all the media questions about Tebow is going to be classic.  Either Bill is going to totally troll all the media and secretly have a blast doing so or he is going to get totally annoyed like never before with all the dumb questions he is going to be asked.  Either way, there are going to be some very epic moments in the very near future.   BB is going to go down as one of the greatest trolls ever, I love it!

    BB is going to do something good with Tebow, have no idea what but he will do something with him and it's going to make Rex Ryan look like a complete idiot for not having a clue what to do with him.

    Sit back and enjoy!

     

    ---------------------------------------------

    check out my Patriots photoshops @ patsfanfotoshop.tumblr.com for some good laughs.


    Photobucket





    well the article was a humorous bit of advice for the boston press from a ny scribe who dealt with it all up close last year-it does seem the tebow circus takes on a life of it's own regardless of where he goes

    that said i do agree it will be interesting to watch bellichick and the press spar over this-u got the ultimate control freak who gives them nothing basically and that's been the dynamic for years but now you add in tebow and the outside media and all that-even the unflappable bellichick may lose it a little bit...maybe

    if tebow makes the team

     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from krismk. Show krismk's posts

    Re: Some Advice for the New England Media


    Let's not forget,  NY media OWNS the Boston media.  Our local lappers and yappers work for NY companies, and have for years. 

     
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