Your Favorite Quotes and/or 1-liners (NON-Football Thread)

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    Re: Your Favorite Quotes and/or 1-liners (NON-Football Thread)

    "Sex is like bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand"
       -Woody Allen

    If a man says soemthing in the woods and there is no woman around the hear him... is he still wrong?

    There are two theories on how to argue with a woman.  Neither works.

    When I die, I want to die like my grandfather - peacefully, in my sleep, not screaming, like all the passengers in his car.

    A doctor says to a patient: "We have good news and bad news - the good news is you're not a hypochondriac..."


    When people see a litter box, they ask if I have a cat - just once, I want to tell them, "No, it's for when I have company."

    When I man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment.  When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $4.99 a minute.

    A popular one from growing up around Cape Cod: If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

    Forget world peace.  Visualize using your turn signal.

    If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

    Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.  They must be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

    Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells are forever.

    Jesus may love you, but everyone else thinks you're an a**h*le

    A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist

    The enemy isn't conservatism.  The enemy isn't liberalism.  The enemy is b*llsh*t. - Lars-Erik Nelson
     
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    Re: Your Favorite Quotes and/or 1-liners (NON-Football Thread)

    Now you got the easy part done telling me about it



    She was all right until her sister got killed by that house.
     
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    Re: Your Favorite Quotes and/or 1-liners (NON-Football Thread)


    These pretzels are making me thirsty.


     
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    Re: Your Favorite Quotes and/or 1-liners (NON-Football Thread)

    You don't have eyeballs you have eyenuts, which explains those bags under your eyes
     
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    Re: Your Favorite Quotes and/or 1-liners (NON-Football Thread)

    "I love this game so much that I'd play it for nothing!"  

    (A Rod in his news conference announcing the signing of his 10 year/$25million/year contract with the Texas Rangers.)


    "We'll have peace in our time!"

    (Neville Chamberlain after he bent over, grabbed his ankles, and gave the Czech Republic to Hitler.)


    "I didn't do it... I SWEAR! Honest to God!"

    (Any one of my kids after all possible excuses had been exhausted while defending a dumb act.)
     
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    Re: Your Favorite Quotes and/or 1-liners (NON-Football Thread)

    "Why waste four?"

    (Don Dyrsdale after explaining why he purposely hit Willie McCovey with the first pitch of a manager's ordered intentional walk.)


    "The top half!"

    (St Louis Cardinals' Bob Gibson in an interview. The interviewer mentioned that in baseball, half the plate belongs to the pitcher and half belongs to the batter; which "half" was his?)


    "I guess I had a better year!"

    (Babe Ruth when asked how he felt after signing a $100,000 year contract while the President of the US was paid less.)
     

    "How do you feel about Cleveland?"

    (Red Auerbach to Robert Parrish when Parrish told Red he'd be holding out for more money.)  
     
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    Re: Your Favorite Quotes and/or 1-liners (NON-Football Thread)

    In Response to Re: Your Favorite Quotes and/or 1-liners (NON-Football Thread):
    "Sex is like bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand"    -Woody Allen If a man says soemthing in the woods and there is no woman around the hear him... is he still wrong? There are two theories on how to argue with a woman.  Neither works. When I die, I want to die like my grandfather - peacefully, in my sleep, not screaming, like all the passengers in his car. A doctor says to a patient: "We have good news and bad news - the good news is you're not a hypochondriac..." When people see a litter box, they ask if I have a cat - just once, I want to tell them, "No, it's for when I have company." When I man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment.  When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $4.99 a minute. A popular one from growing up around Cape Cod: If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them? Forget world peace.  Visualize using your turn signal. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.  They must be changed regularly, and for the same reason. Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells are forever. Jesus may love you, but everyone else thinks you're an a**h*le A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist The enemy isn't conservatism.  The enemy isn't liberalism.  The enemy is b*llsh*t. - Lars-Erik Nelson
    Posted by Artist-Frmrly-Knwn-As-NickC1188
    You win,just watch out for whitey.
     
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    Re: Your Favorite Quotes and/or 1-liners (NON-Football Thread)

    He f*#king killed him. Hey, I got neighbors. He f&#king killed him.Who killed who?
    A cop. A lady and a guy.A cop, a lady and a guy?That's a massacre. You saw it?
    No, it was just a guy.What happened to the lady?No. No.A woman. A policewoman and a guy,another guy, shot another guy......an Asian guy, in the window,at f%^king Ted's house.Whoa, was the other guy Ted?I don't know.
    He was a big, gray-haired man... 
    ...and he had a robe
    and he shot him. 
    And his brain flew every...
    I'm gonna be... I'm gonna throw up.
    What?

     
    - That was chicken fries.
    - Sick.

     
    You threw up on my printer.

     
    - I did.
    - Did you break it?

     
    - I hope not.
    - Listen, man.

     
    I think the guy was Ted.
     
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    Re: Your Favorite Quotes and/or 1-liners (NON-Football Thread)

    what do you think of your teams execution?.......I'm in favor of it

    coach Macay Tampa Bay Bucs
     
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    Re: Your Favorite Quotes and/or 1-liners (NON-Football Thread)

     "Either get busy living, or get busy dying."
     
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    Re: Your Favorite Quotes and/or 1-liners (NON-Football Thread)

    Famous NH bumper sticker

    Don't argue with your wife, dicker
     
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    Re: Your Favorite Quotes and/or 1-liners (NON-Football Thread)

    "It's all...part of the plan" - The Joker (Heath Ledger) - The Dark Knight

    "You IDIOT! You made me , remember? You dropped me into that vat of chemicals, that wasn't easy to get over and don't think that I didn't try" - The Joker (Jack Nicholson) - Batman

    "Game over man" - Hudson (Bill Paxton) - Aliens

    "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides, by the inequities of the selfish, and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and goodwill, shepherd the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brothers keeper, and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord...as I lay my vengeance upon thee" - Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) - Pulp Fiction

    "Groovy" - Ash (Bill Campbell) - Army Of Darkness

    "I ain't got time to bleed" - Blain Cooper (Jesse Ventura) - Predator

    "Such heroic nonsense" - Megatron (Frank Welker) - Transformers: The Movie

     
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    Re: Your Favorite Quotes and/or 1-liners (NON-Football Thread)

    Its up..... Its good!


    Thats a multi purpose saying   Sealed
     
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    Re: Your Favorite Quotes and/or 1-liners (NON-Football Thread)

    In Response to Re: Your Favorite Quotes and/or 1-liners (NON-Football Thread):
    In Response to Re: Your Favorite Quotes and/or 1-liners (NON-Football Thread) : Did you know Whodung is also "Stommmper"? Similar lines of stupidity.
    Posted by BBReigns
    One of the MOST popular quotes on this board,
     ("ONCE AGAIN RUSTY/BBREIGNS-YOU'RE WRONG AS USUAL")

    "RUSTY DOES'NT HAVE A CLUE"

    "RUTSY PINK HAT's BRAIN IS A BIG BLACK HOLE, JUST FILLED WITH SPACE"

    "RUSTY PINK HAT, THE REAL BOY WONDER"

    Seriously, this could go on all day.
    Rusty you are by far the biggest tool and troll on this board. Cry



     
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