Hanrahan = Gagne (looks like him and pitches a lot like him)
Bailey is a crippled up bum. (A's knew pretzel but DFA would compound mistake)
Lester is not out of the woods. (Lester shows up for work, DFA would be absurd)
Buch is a Texas bum heavily influenced by Beckett. (Best pitchcer and good value)
Dempster came from the Dumpster. (6 IP, not a value at 13.25 a year, summer NL trade)
Doubront is a fat slob. (Cost is cheap, patience is a virtie, has bottom rotation talent)
Lackey is a slackey. (May as well keep this bum, during his zero cost year coming up)
Salty is a butcher. (He is, but his trade value is low and he works as a backup)
Drew is a butcher. (Always been one, but hasn't hit for years, either, few hot weeks and trade this guy for partial salary dump. the few hots weeks is the hard part)
Gomes and Nava are back-up profiles. (thay are, not bad bench guys, DFA makes no sense)
Ellsbury is a reverse pivot jitterbug. (He is, and plays the big hop, too. Too late to do anything but take the draft compensation, he has followed 2012 with an improvement, but it's more like 2008, 2009, and his 2010 and 2012 make him a profile that no GM is going to trade much for just a few weeks or months of Ellsbury and no draft compensation.
Papi and Naps will be hurt at any instant. (they are too fragile to be more than part-timers, but Napoli's cost is low and it's too late to get any team to offer more than garbage for a part-time player like Ortiz, with the big contract)
Middlebrooks is worse than Drew. (No, Middlebrooks was in great form last year, while S. Drew has been in poor form for 2011 and 2012 . Middlebrooks is much younger and had an oustanding 2012 until he got hurt. I expect he will recover, and his potential and age and cost are such that patience is virtie on Middlebrooks)
Pedey lost his "pop". (He never had any, even with Fenway boosting his numbers, but he is an oustanding defensive 2B who gets on base and slugs well enough for a top fielding 2B)
Did I leave anyone out?
Yes, you leve out broken down Shane, whose contract is so bad and long that the only real option is to keep the guy and play him as a platoon part-time player.