By Edith Bunker/Red Sox:On the front burner reporter
Fenway Park, Massachusetts-- Sheriff losmediasrojas, two-term Sheriff of Red Sox: On the front burner said on Thursday he will seek the nomination for President of Red Sox Nation.
Losmediasrojas made the announced outside Fenway Park.
"This is the first time I get to say this: I am running for the president of the Red Sox Nation," losmediasrojas said to the applause and cheers of about a dozen supporters. "To do that, I think you have to have a certain resume, and I'd like to think I do have it. Furthermore, I'm running for President of Red Sox Nation because I've always wanted to be the President of something; at this point, I don't really care what it is. And, I think I can get free tickets out of this.
During the announcement, losmediasrojas acknowledged that he is virtually unknown outside the forum but said he won't be outworked when it comes to retail politics.
"I have to do, and want to do, really well," he said. "So I'm going to spend a lot of time campaigning; I plan to go from obscurity to prominence overnight.”
And if elected, I make the following promises:
1. Beer will be served at your seats until the end of the game
2. Roll the dice on big-ticket wildcards like Dice-K
3. Give each starting pitcher his own personal catcher
4. That I will get Luis Tiant and Bill Lee into the Hall of Fame.
5. That the Red Sox will provide every youngster in New England a video of Dwight Evans playing right field, so they can learn how to play that position correctly.
6. That all politicians have to pay their way into the park.
7. That, like Lyndon Johnson in 1960, smiley- beni2817 will be asked to be my running mate.
8. I'm sure you have people in your life who claim to be true Sox fans but couldn't pick Todd Benzinger or Dewey Evans out of a police lineup. I'm going to create a nationwide competency test to weed out these bandwagon jerks.
9. Replay games by editing each game so you only see the last pitch of every at bat. A complete game will be shown in 30 minutes.