Wussball

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    Re: Wussball

    In Response to Re: Wussball:
    Pitch velocity readings shall be replaced by blog entries from the Huffington POST Real Food from the Concessions shall be replaced with cheap plastic lookalikes; at the same price. (It wasn't Real food to begin with.) Selected game dates shall revive the old Ladies Day event; except the target audience shall be dysfunctional sports bloggers; they could use some fresh air & sun. No proof is necessary. Bathroom use is not allowed without paying a one-time PSL fee for a reserved receptacle. This goes for powder rooms as well. A surcharge to the ticket shall be applied to all marriage proposals at the ballpark, plus a fee for the energy resource required to briefly display the lucky couple on the big scoreboard. No refunds if the proposer is turned down. The premium package includes a shaving cream pummeling from AJ Burnett. Optional: The fan can supply their own crust, or purchase it from the advanced ticket window.
    Posted by nhsteven


    WUSSBALL REALLY GROW UP AND STOP CRYING LIKE LITTLE BABIES
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from harness. Show harness's posts

    Re: Wussball

    In the not-to-near-future, FARMHAND will suffice as bait. Fans may dangle him as a target for foul balls.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from nhsteven. Show nhsteven's posts

    Re: Wussball

    A fan incentive shall be added when AJ Burnett pitches, either home or away; if a fan can guess the inning he gets knocked out, he shall win a free can of a Shaving Cream product of his or her choice; this can be substituted with Whipped Cream  (Including NON-FAT) or furniture polish. 

    If a fan guesses what the exact Pitching Line for him is, he/she shall receive 1% of his daily salary (That's $356.16; nothing to sneeze at for the commoner) from the Yankees.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from nhsteven. Show nhsteven's posts

    Re: Wussball

    This is for Softy; when Wastefield pitches, and a fan can guess how many launches occurs, the fan shall receive a jar of pig's knuckles. If there are no launches that game, no prizes shall be awarded, so a fan should not guess None. If in the unlikely event the Sox acquire Matt Kemp on the same day, the fan shall also win a sample of Matt Kemp's rap music collection and an invite to the trade celebration party, which concludes with a night out among his posse and groupies. This is applicable for all persuasions.
     
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    Re: Wussball

    Wuss thread bumped by Harnut
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from nhsteven. Show nhsteven's posts

    Re: Wussball

    Baseball shall evolve into PED Ball. All players shall submit to the most sophisticated drug tests, blood & urine, as used by the Olympic Committee, (including the New HGH Test), a week before the contest. The batter gets up to hit; if he gets an Extra Base Hit, his tests are revealed; dock 1 base from the hit for each of the following: HGH, Steroids, Amphetamines. For multiple infractions, the minimum safety in this case would result in a SINGLE.  (FANS are encouraged to litter the field with BARRY BONDS Foam Syringes, when this occurs; the game shall lengthen, but what the heck.) If Hallucinogens are found, ADD 1 base; if it's a Homer, add 1 Base to the next hit, if it occurs. Street Drugs don't count.

    For Pitchers, if a K occurs, check the Results; for PEDS above, the K becomes a Walk; for Hallucinogens (Known as the DOCK ELLIS Rule), a BB becomes a K, and a Single becomes a BB, but a Hit Batter results in an ejection for irresponsibly endangering the batter.

     
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