Choking reaction in a 9 year old warrants an evaluation
My 9 year old has this fear that every time she eats, something is stuck in her throat. It happens on and off. She'll go thru a period of eating really well and then times like now where she'll eat very little which will be only liquids. She cries when you ask her to eat solid food. I'm not sure if she's depressed about me going back to work and is rebelling. I'm about to lose my mind as I myself suffer from depression and anxiety. Please advice me on what I should do.
From: Dina, Hamilton (no state given)
READ MORECould this 4-year-old be lying for attention?
Recently my almost 4 years old will do things before I wake up in the morning. She will usually eat a package of Gummies or some dry oatmeal. Knowing she did so, I will calmly ask what she did before waking me up and she will say nothing. Then she will look around whatever room we are in and say the first thing she sees or thinks of. How can I get her to be honest with me upfront?
From: Lisa, Torrington, CT
This boy prefers girl toys
My six year old plays with dolls -- girl toys -- he has boy toys but he prefers playing with girl toys. He tells me, mom I want to be a girl. At school, his teacher tells me he the same thing. He has a 14 yr old old brother and does not want to play soccer or play with cars with him.
From: Glinda, Houston, TX
Could New Year's resolutions help kindergartner with transitions?
Our son, who just recently turned 5 and is an only-child, is in a half-day Pre-K program at a private school. Because we require a full-day setting due to our work commitments, he also attends a combined Preschool/Pre-K half day class and is in an extended day setting after school as well. He was in a daycare-center setting from 9 mos until this past August. He was doing great there, learning quite a bit, though sometimes having trouble following friends with disruptive behavior. We planned his transition to his new school with his preschool teacher during last school year, trying to work on his confidence and knowing what is acceptable behavior at certain times. We purposely moved him to the private school (that we plan to send him to for elementary school) before Kindergarten as he can be a “slow to warm up” child at times. We thought it would be beneficial for him to not be the new kid along with a new school transition when there are some academic expectations as well.
Our son did great in the beginning of the school year. He was excited to go to school and didn’t want to leave when we would pick him up. The transition seemed a little too easy to be honest. But, as the school year has progressed, we have been receiving reports of some behavior problems at school. Primary behavior issues are not listening and complete disregard for teachers’ instruction/direction, class clown-type behavior during meal settings and the more formal learning parts of his day, and disrespect towards the teachers. The issue with listening and following direction is one we struggle with at home as well. Additionally, our son is very tall for his age and is often thought to be 1-2 years older than he is, meaning it is easy for adults to have greater expectations of him.
His teacher for the combo class has him (as well as some classmates) on a daily behavior sticker chart. Once we started using some positive reinforcement at home regarding how many stickers he gets every day, there has been definite improvement in that class. However, there has been no improvement in his Pre-K class. We have met with both teachers and discussed the situation. We all agreed that he is seeking attention and that positive reinforcement is the best approach to use instead of “scolding” him all day long for what he is doing wrong. But beyond that, I am at a loss on how to help him.
In hindsight, the transition from daycare to school with the multiple transitions during the day was probably not the best situation for him. However, at this point, we don’t want to change schools as we plan to send him to this school for Kindergarten and beyond. We don’t expect him to behave perfectly all the time. We expect that there will be reminders of what is the good choice to make, etc. How can we address the attention-seeking behavior he is showing at school but not necessarily at home and how can we help him to listen to direction both at school and home? Also, are we just expecting too much from him? I don’t want him to get labeled as a class clown or a troublemaker and have it turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
From: Concerned Mom in Southern NH
Why doesn't her son like to hug?
Dear Barbara, my only boy is 16 years old and still doesn't like to be hugged and kissed by myself or his sisters leave alone grandmothers or any other person. He will tolerate us, but then pushes us away. He likes it when I rub his back or massage him, but pulls away from any physical affection. We are a stable, loving family and we spend a lot of family time together and he will participate normally. What I also find strange is that he doesn't make eye contact with adults or teachers and the teachers find this offending. He listens to them by turning his ear towards them. There is nothing wrong with his hearing either. He is a good mannered child with no rebellious actions, but I am worried that this will cause problems in adulthood. Please advise.
From: Affectionate Mom, Namibia
What's behind this preschooler's cruelty to step-mom's cat?
Barbara,
I need some guidance in handling my step son. Before he started going to school, he was the sweetest little boy, not a single problem from him. Since he started school at age 3 (Trauma during birth caused a bleed in his right brain. Suffers from seizures. Taking medicine for it. Physical therapy and speech therapy since he was a baby. Early school program.), he seems to have transitioned into being cruel to people and animals. My cat, for example, he finds it hilarious to pull his tail, or push down on his back until he has him pinned down. I even caught him choking the cat twice. He only bothers him when he sees him or knows where he is. He sometimes seeks him out under the bed and drags him out by his tail. Because of the no corporal punishment rule his mother gave me, all I have is verbal and time out. So each time I have caught him doing these things to the cat, I have explained to him what he has done wrong, told him those things aren't allowed and explained that what he does is hurting my cat, and put him in time out. When it's time to allow him to get up, I ask him to tell me again what he did wrong, and he usually does. Then I allow him to get up. I do 1 minute for every year he is old for time out.
He is also cruel to people, too. His teachers get bit on a daily basis. Children in his school get hit with toys, and if they won't give him a toy, he stomps on it until it is broke just to hear the other kids cry. With me at home, he throws toys at me, bites, kicks, punches, claws, pulls my hair, grabs my ankles to watch me fall. He's pulled his privates out and peed on me, spits on me. During bath time, he had a pitcher he uses to pour water on his head. With him only being Preschool age (4), and having a disability (his seizures) me or his father have to stay present during his baths. The few times I have sat in there with him, he's thrown pitchers full of water in my face and laughs when I start choking. To reiterate, I don't have the option of swatting his hand or butt. Just time outs and verbal. He doesn't do this to his mom or his dad. I've been around him since he was 2. His parents were separated for a while before that, and I don't think it has to do with me coming into the picture. He was fine before that. I just don't understand what it is. Or even if it's because his mother keeps telling him not to listen to me (He told me she said that, she denies it, but kids repeat what they hear, right?). I need help. Badly.
From: Jessica, Ashland, MA
Mom of toddler, traumatized by Newtown murders, is afraid to take son out in public
Dear Barbara,
I am the mother of a preschooler. Like all parents, I am deeply saddened and stunned by the devastating events in Newtown, CT. My son is unaware of this tragedy, and I obviously intend to keep it that way.
We are on holiday break now, but I find myself very fearful of sending him back to preschool--or even bringing him out in public at all lately. Is this a normal reaction, and is there anything that you can recommend I could do to ease my fears and feel empowered again? It is a scary world in which to live and raise a child.
Thank you in advance for any guidance.
From: Concerned toddler mom, North Shore, MA
Grandparents worry about "over-stepping" the mark
I have five grandchildren. We have issues with one and a great relationship with the other four. The five-year old boy is bullying children and is rude to adults, including his grandparents. When he is with children his own age or younger, he is often confrontational. He continually interrupts adult conversation and his parents accommodate this behaviour. As a grandparent, I find it difficult to approach Mum and Dad with my concerns as I don't want to overstep the mark. Should I be brave and in a diplomatic manner, without children being present, express my concerns to Mum and Dad?
From: Mick, Macquarie fields, NSW, Australia
Submit Submit
Nitty-gritty of talking to your kids about Newtown
The best you can do after school today, tomorrow -- any day, really, from now on -- is be prepared. Starting today, your children will have more information than you've given them about what happened in Newtown. Some of it will be accurate, some of it won't be. Depending on the age of a child or the age of the child who passed along so-called information, it will be tinted by magical thinking, that wonderful, imaginative ability children have to make connections that have no basis in reality. So, yes, we have to be prepared because something she or he will say may take your breath away, may confound you, may move you to tears. Please -- this is a good place to share those snippets and to share your struggles. If you have questions, I'll try to be as helpful as possible and to respond as quickly as possible.
Meanwhile, let's start with ourselves. If you find yourself welling up in front of your child of any age, you don't to need hold back. It's OK to have honest emotion in front of your children. To a child of any age, but especially those under 8, say simply, "This just make me so sad." Here's the caveat: You need to recover and move on, and they need to see that. Wipe your tears, offer a hug, and continue with whatever you were doing. If you can't do that -- if you are so stricken by fear for your child or you're unable to stop crying or control when your sadness strikes -- seek professional guidance.
In general, here's what's true for any age child:
They will have questions, they will want to talk about this, but when and how depends on each child. Some children will need permission to talk about it: If this comes on the heels of a trauma or loss in your family, even young children may worry that talking about Newtown will upset you more so they will avoid talking about it.
Here's how you give permission. Ask an open-ended question: "Did you hear about Newtown (or whatever word you've been using to describe the tragedy) at school today?" With children under 6, if you haven't established a baseline conversation, ask this question instead: "Have you heard about a place called Newtown?"
Some children will say "No," even if the answer is yes. Maybe they just aren't in the mood to talk, maybe they are still processing what they've heard. Here's where the permission piece comes in. Say, "Well, Newtown is a town in Connecticut. if you have any questions about it, it's OK to ask me." You don't need to connect all the dots for children under 7, all you need to do is let them know you're available.
If a child says yes, here's your response: "Tell me what you know."
This is perhaps the most important words you can speak. Your goal is twofold: to help your children process information, and to make sure they know you are an askable parent --THE person they can come to for honest, truthful information. But you want to give children under 10 information they can handle, in sounds bites they can digest. The best way to do that is to speak to what they are thinking about. So you need to know what they know, you need to know what piece of all the many pieces they are processing, at this moment in time. It may not be what you expect. Maybe your first-grader blurts out: "Teachers died"!"
Keep your response simple and truthful: "Yes, that's true." That's enough to say. Allow for a pause.
"I don't want my teacher to die!"
Now your job is to affirm his feelings: "I know! Of course we don't want your teacher to die."
Allow for a pause. See where he goes. And now here comes the piece that you may not feel 100% but you need to say for your child's peace of mind: "Your school is doing everything it can to keep your teachers safe, and the students, too."
Again, pause and see where this goes. That may be enough.
Dear readers, this is a hard time for all parents, for all kids. Keep the channels open. Please send in your questions about conversations you have with your kids of all ages. I'll respond as quickly as possible.
Youngster attaches himself to "strangers"
I have a 2.4 yr old and a 1.2 yr old. I try to give them both their own mommy time and encourage both of them. When my son does not like something that he is told or does not get what he wants, he runs to strangers and grabs their legs and refuses to let go. As soon as the stranger responds to him, he pulls away as if he does not know why they are engaging him. It has been really hard and I am not sure what to do about it.
From: Entregada, Powder Springs, GA
Middle child crying -- figuratively and otherwise -- for more time with mom
I have 3 children ages 2, 4, and 6. My 4 year old son has been very difficult lately. I've followed your blog for ages and try to use the tips I've read here but I am at a loss. Maybe this is a phase and I just need to wait it out but I'd love some advice.
Over the past few months, my 4 year old has been very actively misbehaving. Not with violence but with doing exactly what we ask him not to do. I try to stay calm and give him options but he will just ignore them and keep doing what he's doing. [Here's] the most recent example from last night. He was playing and having a good time with my 2 year old but he was throwing toys. I calmly asked him to stop. He looked at me and did it again. I picked him up and moved him from the room and said that it was dangerous and I didn't want him to keep doing that. But he squirmed away, ran back and threw again. So I picked him up, put him on the bottom stair and asked him to sit there because he was not listening. He sat there but started bawling and screaming "Mommy!" at the top of his lungs for 15 minutes. Finally he stopped and I told him he could come back into the room.
This exact thing happens every day. Not with throwing but it's always something that starts very small and ends very big. I ignore when he's screaming because I don't want him to get the idea that screaming and making himself cry is what gets attention but I also know you've said not to leave kids alone during tantrums. There are times when I have figured out how to handle it (e.g. I ask him to get dressed before he eats in the morning or else he'll eat, then say he doesn't "feel like" getting dressed and it ends up being a battle as I'm trying to get 3 kids out the door. This doesn't happen anymore because I just keep saying, "Sure, I'll get you breakfast as soon as you're dressed.") But there are so many other times when I can't do something like that and these long daily battles are getting beyond frustrating.
From: S.E.K., Boston
Cell phone for a 5-year-old? Tell me you're joking
My son is five years old. i would like to get him a cell phone to only call his sisters and grandparents and myself.
From: A parent (no location given)
Coping skills for a change-adverse child
I have a question about Kindergarten preparedness. We just moved to a new town and my 5 year old daughter will be starting kindergarten next fall. She is bright, very friendly/outgoing, and I'm confident she will do great.
I have noticed with her that she has a lot of anticipation anxiety. For big changes (when her brother was born, and when we recently moved) we had the most trouble before the big event happened. I've tried to not talk about things ahead of time with her. Even if I think it would help me, I know it just makes her anxious. That said, she is very used to her routine of preschool 3 days a week and switching to 5 days at a new school will be a big adjustment. Do you have any tips on how to help a kid who has anticipation anxiety prepare for a big change? I don't want to over-talk but I also want her to know what's going on. Thanks!
From: Jessica, Belmont, MA
First grader doesn't want to go to school
Hi Barbara,
My DD recently turned 7. She is in 1st grade. This school year she has started crying and complaining of stomach aches in the morning when we are getting her ready for school.
I've worked her whole life and she has always gone to daycare and been away from me during the day.
Last year in Kindergarten she was excited to go to school. This year about 75% of the time she either starts crying that her belly hurts or is just sobbing that she doesn't want to go. I've spoken to her teacher (who is male) and he has said she is great in class and hasn't complained of stomach aches or been crying. I mention that he is male because DD has said that she misses us and that no one takes care of her like we do. And perhaps having a male teacher is less nurturing? I'm just grasping at straws here.
She's been going to an in-home daycare for the past 18 months after school and it's been fine, but in the past 2 months she is telling me how much she hates it. But the lady that watches her is telling me she is having a great time. This past Monday, after being at home for a week for Thanksgiving Break, she actually went to the nurse at school complaining of a belly ache. This is the first time she has done that. I think she was trying to get sent home. But the nurse put her on the bus since it was the end of the day.
Her bus driver has told me that she is mostly chatty and having fun with friends on the bus to and from school everyday. She has lots of friends. I don't think bullying or teasing is really the issue. DD has stated many times that she just misses us and it makes her cry. This morning we tried sending her to school with some pictures of the whole family so she could look at them if she needed to. Yesterday my husband included a little note in her lunchbox. But she said she read it and it made her cry!
How do we stop the tears? I think she is mostly fine during the day at school once she is with friends and having fun. The teacher said he never would have guessed that she was struggling to get on the bus every day. Should we ignore it in the morning? We are trying to keep her getting on the bus and going to school. Once in a blue moon we will have to drive her because she missed the bus while in the bathroom saying she has a stomach ache. Her pediatrician says it's anxiety and to keep getting her on the bus because once you let her stay home, she will try to do that again. So, do we ignore? Talk to her more about how she's feeling? This morning I asked about it and it sent her from not crying into a 30 minute sob fest. She said she felt stupid crying but that she couldn't help it.
Help us!
From: Kristen, Burlington (Ma? Vt? LW doesn't say)
Are video games bringing out the worst in these 12-year-olds?
My 12 year old son plays video games with his friends and many times they start picking on him because they think it's funny to make him mad. He gets so angry he starts crying and yelling. How do I teach him to handle this situation and stop what's happening? I tell him to shut off the game but then he feels isolated and wants to play with his friends again.
From: Mamaplanes, Monson, MA
READ MORELies and young friendships
My 5-year-old daughter has a best friend, a girl who is in her kindergarten class and someone she sees quite frequently outside of school. Lately, I've noticed that her friend is often lying to her. It's mostly harmless stuff, like explaining that she was 10 minutes late for school because she was on her way home from Disneyland. Or that she saw a movie that doesn't actually exist. To an adult, it's obvious that she's telling lies in order to impress her friends, but my daughter doesn't understand. Instead, she gets terribly jealous and the girls end up in a heated argument.
I'm trying to help my daughter react in a better way to the lying. Most of the time she knows that she's being lied to, and I've tried to explain to her that her friend is telling lies because they're usually about things that she wishes were true. But in the heat of the moment, she gets very upset, and the fight ensues. How can I help her deal with this?
Then the best friend usually ends it by saying, "I don't like you anymore," or "I don't want to be your best friend." I've told my daughter that she doesn't have to play with this girl and that when her friend says this, she can go find someone else to play with. But she says that this girl is her best friend, and sometimes they do play very nicely together. How can I help her through these rough patches in their friendship?
From: Annie C, Merrimack, NH
Dad's divorce and access to guns isn't a healthy combo for this 13-year-old boy
[This letter has been condensed. Ed.]
I will be married to the most wonderful man I’ve ever known sometime next year. I’ll call him Mr. C. He has been divorced for 4 years after being married for 10. They had one child one year into their marriage. He tells me now that he knew then it was a mistake to marry ....but he had to stay for his son. He said his marriage became unbearable (her infidelity, drinking, etc…).
About 1 year before he filed for divorce, he reached out to me. We started talking on the phone. We used to be lovers over 17 years ago but we were young and dumb and couldn’t make a long distance thing work out, so we broke it off. So yes, I’m an ex-girlfriend and I suspect the woman he later married didn’t like me much....Once he filed and moved out of the bedroom, we did start to... see each other. Big mistake as we should have waited until the divorce was final – which took about 18 months. His ex-wife has used that information, including telling her son lies that we have been seeing each other all through their marriage and THAT is why they are divorced. She has filled this boy’s head with all sorts of adult lies regarding our relationship,[and] this boy hates me. The boy is now 13. I really feel bad for him. I’ve tried so many ways to be kind, loving, and attentive. He is an only child and is a real brat so it’s hard to be nice. I ask God for strength every time we are going to spend time together. The boy is usually low key, looks at me constantly out of the corner of his eye with disdain. When I leave his father’s house to go to my house, as I live in another state, the boy has an emotional meltdown; crying and saying I was mean to him, yelled at him, etc... The boy will call his mom and his mom will in turn Mr. C and ream him out for allowing ‘the whore to abuse’ her son. I’m afraid of this kid. My fear is that he’ll take one of his dad’s guns or crossbow and hurt me. This kid loves guns, ammo, all things weapon.
My question: should I go forward with this marriage? ... I read the horror stories associated with a stepkid who reeks havoc in a family. I have no children of my own, but I will eventually have my mother and disabled sister living with me. I do not want to subject them to this kind of stress. Mr. C is a wonderful father, but I think he lets his brat son get away with a lot of bad behavior. Mr. C excuses his son’s emotional outbursts by saying he’s going through a hard time and just needs time and counseling. Well, it’s been 4 yrs since their divorce. A lot of kids go through a divorce. Does this boy have other psychological problems?
From: Soon-to-be-Mrs.C, Fort Wayne, IN
READ MOREWhen little one keeps popping out of bed
Dear Barbara,
We recently transitioned my 26-month old to a twin bed (she had been climbing out of her crib). She loves the idea of it, and once she falls asleep, is fine all night long. However she hysterically freaks out if we don't lay down with her until she's completely asleep - which takes anywhere from 30 min to two hours. She was an excellent sleeper in her crib - would allow us to put her down awake and would fall asleep very quickly on her own. When she was younger we did end up letting her "cry it out" which was emotionally trying but did work! Is that type of method recommended for toddles as well - especially when she can get out of the bed and roam around the room at will? (Her room is childproofed) How else can/should we get her to go sleep on her own? Please help!
From: Exhausted, Medford, MA
Submit Submit
Before you make that Thanksgiving trip.....
Hi Barbara,
You probably get this question every year at Thanksgiving, but what advice do you have for traveling with young children? Until now, our family came to us. But this year, gps are infirm (all 4 of them -- yikes! at least they live in the same city) and we are going there and will be doing a lot of visiting to various homes of family members. But we have three kids, and it's our first 5-hour drive. I'm also wondering about their sleep schedules once we are there.
Suggestions?
From: TW, Riverdale, NY
Strategies for stubbornness
Hi Barbara,
What are some tried and true ways to manage kids who seem to be quite stubborn, while also keeping as cool a head as possible? Kids who consistently do exactly what you asked them not to. This behavior is not constant 24/7, yet almost 80-90 percent of the time, I can count on some type of battle. I.e. please stop abusing your sibling; no, you can't use the computer when it's time to read before bed; no, you can't eat because it's time to go to bed; no, sorry it's time to turn off the TV . The list goes on. It is also difficult when one parent is going at it alone (husband works late at night.) Finally, not to be defeatist, but I have a somewhat stubborn streak for certain things and my husband absolutely does as well. Perhaps it's inherited and we just have to live with it?
Any suggestions?? Thank you!!
From: MamiaMia, North of Boston
Baby suffers when parents fight frequently
[My partner and I] argue all the time and my 6 month old son is usually present. How much is this affecting him? I want to leave my partner but he refuses to let us split and won't move out because he thinks we can get better. I'm just scared of the damage this could do to our son.
From: Kat, Birmingham, Alabama
READ MOREInfants, schedules and that so-called slippery road
Dear Barbara,
How important is it to schedule an infant? I'm a first-time mom of a 5-month-old and I'm struggling with this one.
Sample schedules I've seen -- with strict nap times and lengths, etc -- seem a bit "one-size-fits-all." Admittedly, I'm a bit suspicious of any regimen that tells me what my baby needs without knowing him. "At least an hour of sleep, three times a day, is a must." But what if he is happy and functional with only 20 minutes? What if he doesn't like napping that often?
I'm not opposed to routines. We have a bedtime routine, we stick to it and it works. My baby goes to bed at roughly the same time every night, and he sleeps from about 7:30 to 6:30, with just one wake-up around 4:30 a.m. that he is showing signs of growing out of. He's a predictable sleeper, and I do credit routine and perseverance for getting us there. But we never, ever had to let him cry it out. My husband and I practiced "the pause" (Yes, I read 'Bringing up Bebe') and learned to read his sleep habits before jumping up. It worked.
I stay home with the baby and our days, admittedly, have a loose structure. He hates his crib during the day and doesn't like to nap. He gets in scattered "cat naps" in my lap after breastfeeding at roughly the same time and is a pretty happy, alert baby. I tried to put him on a schedule around three months. I couldn't get him to nap in his crib without him crying his heart out, with some serious tears, so I stopped. He was always so happy after short snoozes so I didn't dwell on the issue. I figured that I just didn't get a napper. Relatives and even his pediatrician agreed. (He's either meeting or ahead of schedule with developmental milestones).
I've also seen scheduled babies who seem so dependent on their schedules that they can't function if they miss a nap by even 10 minutes. I was afraid of that, since that doesn't seem healthy, either.
But now he's getting older and I'm second-guessing myself. I watched with horror one night recently as a mother at a CVS said no to a candy purchase, then frantically gave into her crying child when a scene broke out. It may sound like a huge leap, but I witnessed this scene and wondered, is it a slippery slope? Could this be me someday, because I don't have the backbone to let him cry in his crib? Is a basic daytime structure the beginning to a healthy mother-child relationship, with limits and healthy expectations of what happens next? But at what point am I forcing something on the child, without meeting his needs as an individual?
I'm lost. I'd love to hear your opinion on this matter and would love some recommendations for books on napping that don't assume the baby is also up all night.
And thank you.
From: Struggling with Schedule, Medford, MA
Cultural difference catches parents off-guard about co-sleeping
Hello,
I am an Asian mom living in the US with my husband and our 4-year-old son. Every night, I sleep with my son. This is normal behavior that both my husband and I understand. Recently my friend who is here for a long time told me this is not normal behavior for Americans. She said it will make my son unhappy and that I must stop. Is she right?
From: Susan, Chicago
READ MOREMom asks, How much do I have to push my child to exercise?
Dear Barbara,
I have a bright, happy, 8-year-old daughter. She loves school, has some good friends, and is mature and good-natured nearly all the time. Here's the problem: she dislikes any and all physical activity. The only thing she doesn't like about school is PE, she resists attending birthday parties that are sports-oriented, and has one-by-one given up all physical extra-curricular activities (ballet, gymnastics, soccer, karate). She is nowhere near overweight, but she does like to eat, so I worry for her size down the road if she continues to resist physical activity.
The question is, how much do we push her to be involved in a sport/physical activity outside of school? I don't want her to resent it/us, which is my fear if we make her do something she doesn't want to do. How important is it at this age??
From: LouHen, MetroWest, MA
Sandy-ied-out
Dear Barbara,
I have a question about how much I have to hide my personal frustrations, annoyances, anger, call it what you want, from my kids. I'm not talking about anger management -- not talking about serious anger problems that spill over into abusive language or behavior -- I'm talking about ordinary kinds of things, like this week when I was frustrated that there was no school because of Sandy and I had to stay home for two days and I had so much work to do. I wanted to have it be a fun kind of day, and play board games with my daughters ( 7& 5) but, honestly, I was too frustrated with everything to be fun. The older one actually said, "Mom, what's your problem?" Should I have just been truthful and told her the storm was trying my patience? I think maybe by saying, Oh, nothing, that I made a mistake because I could tell she didn't believe me even though I thought I was somehow protecting her.
From: Sandy-ied-out, north of Boston
READ MOREAbout the author
Barbara F. Meltz is a freelance writer, parenting consultant, and author of "Put Yourself in Their Shoes: Understanding How Your Children See the World." She won several awards for her weekly "Child Caring" column in the Globe, including the 2008 American Psychological Association Print Excellence award. Barbara is available as a speaker for parent groups.
Submit a question for Barbara's Mailbag
Waiting for twitter.com to feed in the latest ...
