Hey Barbara -- I'm dreading Christmas morning.

In the past, Christmas morning has been everything our kids imagined and then some. We realize now that we overdid it, but, hey, my husband and I enjoyed every minute, including the planning, buying, and wrapping. But, sigh, our reality is different this year (I'll spare you the details, but we aren't giving each other any gifts and we won't have champagne for Christmas breakfast. There will be a tree, but it will be modest, unlike previous years when it reached almost to the top of our cathedral-ceilinged family room.)

So yes, we are seriously scaling back and my question is: how to deal with what I expect will be disappointed children on Christmas morning? They are 8 and 11.

From: NoHoHoHere, Portland, ME

Mother of three Mary Martinez was ousted from a Target store in Michigan earlier this month, after she began breastfeeding her hungry 4-week-old daughter in the electronics section.

Though there were few other shoppers in the area, Target security approached Martinez and her husband, Jose, and told them to leave.  "He said, 'It's against the law. You have to go,'" Jose Martinez told Fox News.

The police were called, and even after an officer admitted that breastfeeding in public was not, in fact, against the law, the family was escorted out of the store.

I'm not sure whether this smacks of ignorance or is indicative of a cultural issue. So I'm throwing it out to you: Do you think this happened because of our society considers breasts to be sexual objects? Or were the security guards just ignorant about the rights of a woman to breastfeed in public?

Researchers at Simon Fraser University in Vancouver have found that autism and schizophrenia may be genetic opposites, pointing to the possibility of new treatments for autism spectrum disorders.

According to evolutionary biologist Bernard Crespi and his co-authors, Philip Stead and Michael Elliot, autism and schizophrenia are each caused by anomalies in the same places in the human genome. People without either disorder usually have two copies of these genes; people with autism were found to have a single copy, while those with schizophrenia had extra copies.   

"Autism and schizophrenia have always been regarded as being quite similar, but our data pretty much says the opposite," Crespi told The Vancouver Sun. "The idea of two psychiatric illnesses being opposites is quite a controversial one."

Barbara, Is a 12-year-old capable of taking her daily meds on her own? No reminder from Mom!?? No double check from Mom! I think it NEEDS to be supervised!!

From: Honeymoore, Granville

Question: My 15-year-old daughter wants to stay home when her father and I visit my sister, 2-1/2 hours away. She is a good girl and she will have rules about no one allowed to come over. She has a cell phone and doesn't seem to be nervous about being alone. What are your thoughts?

From: Gale, Norfolk, VA

Question: I have an amazing 11-year-old son. He is smart and caring. What he is not is very athletic or aggressive while playing sports. In addition my son is short. He wanted to sign up for a grade 6 and 7 basketball league. When we arrived at the first practice we discovered that all the other boys on his team were from 7th grade. Many of the kids were as tall as my son's dad. The high school age coach frequently asked my son if he understood the game and made him feel uncomfortable. Two of the boys on the team made some height comments. My son came home broken-hearted but told me he would give it his best to last the season. He could not understand why there were no other 6th graders on his team. So here is my question, do I have my son quit the team and explain that it is not a good match for him or do I let him feel bad about himself every week?
From: Mom2, Boston

Question: I have a 1-year-old who attends in-house daycare a few days out of the week. He has been going to this woman's home since he was about 6 months old. I trust that he is getting the proper care... except when it comes to his stinky clothes. What I mean is that when me or my husband picks him up from daycare, he seems to always smell like "POOP". I would check his diaper, but there's nothing ever there so I am assuming she changes him before we arrive. But the smell is in his clothing as if he sat in "POOP" all day. Long story short I like the daycare, it's close to home, and very affordable, but how do I tell this woman nicely without feeling like my son will be mistreated once I drop him off, that my son stinks because your not taking off those rubber gloves when your done changing him? PLEASE HELP!!

From: Gemini, Boston

Malden is considering a curfew for its teenagers after late-night violence has rippled through the city. “We’re trying to help them to stay safe, to keep them from getting into mischief,’’ Ward Six Councilor Neil Kinnon, chairman of the ordinance committee, told the Globe's Kathy McCabe.

But as McCabe's article on Boston.com points out, the people who are making trouble aren't necessarily teens -- and a late-night curfew might not solve the problem. In the first nine months of this year, 984 people were arrested in Malden, 55 of them juveniles. And only 11 of those kids were arrested after 9 p.m., according to Malden Police Chief Kenneth Coye.

Coye said most nighttime crime, such as vandalism or car break-ins, is committed by adults between 6 p.m. and midnight.

So what's the real point of the curfew? And does trying to enforcing an arbitrary one like this just encourage kids to break it?

Dear Barbara,
I have two wonderful neighbors whom I love. They have a son who is now 3.5. I have a daughter who is 2.5. They have played together since birth and are like brother and sister.

As soon as the boy was big enough to walk and run, it became apparent that his energy level was very high. I believe he is completely normal, but very high spirited, and requires a great deal of attention from his parents. He easily becomes very frustrated, also normal, and he hits a great deal to get his will through - normal for his age, but NOT acceptable social behavior.

My daughter gets hit every time they play, it never fails. We are with them 100% of the time, and yet it happens. He gets disciplined in the following ways: he gets a time out, they leave or he gets a serious talk from his parents and then must apologize to my daughter. We try to catch him before it happens, but he is so fast.

This has now been going on since the boy was 2 years old. I have given them 1.5 years to work with him on it. Nothing they do seem to work. I can't stand to see my daughter getting hit one more time, and I will stop the play dates if that is what it takes.

However, first, I would like to bring this up with the parents. This is what I need your input on. How do I talk to them? It is a very touchy subject. The mother has already made it clear to me that I have nothing I should have said, since she 'has a son and they are much harder to raise than a daughter.' She also has said that it is 'very annoying to get advice from mothers of daughters, on how to raise a son.'

In 7 months we are going on a 4-week vacation together. I would love for the kids to be able to just play without violence by then. And for us adults to be good, communicating friends.

There are very few resources out there for people in my situation, and plenty for people in their situation. I am very concerned about what this will teach or do to my daughter.

Please help,
From: Susanne, Brooklyn, NY

Hi !
My 11-year-old son is a bright kid (he's had IQ and other testing that indicates this), but when it comes to getting him to sit down and apply himself to learn something, he puts up a complete block. He has a particular problem with writing from his head. If he's given a report to write, he will just find something passable on the internet or in a book and copy it verbatim to his paper (whether it makes sense or not, which it often doesn't). He refuses to put anything in his own words. He's been tested for ADHD and dyslexia and has neither, but he does have some issues with comprehension. He argues and procrastinates and puts off doing his homework (especially writing homework). We've bribed him, threatened him, and punished him by taking things away, but we're at our wits end. We've talked to his teacher and school principal and tried everything they've suggested. We even have him going to a reading tutor. But he is willful and argumentative. What can we do??????

From: Annie C. Spokane, WA

Hi Barbara,

Thanks!
From: Rachel, Jamaica Plain

If cooking is a science, then baking is like chemistry: it requires precise measurements and certain ingredients in order for your experiment to be a success. It's also a delicious opportunity to learn. Measuring ingredients helps kids understand fractions, rolling and cutting out cookies is great for hand-eye coordination, and your kids can identify shapes as they decorate.

Today (Dec. 4) is National Cookie Day, and while it's super easy to buy cookies, it's much more fun to bake them with your kids.

Barbara,

Question:
If you had a 4-month-old baby and someone was thinking that tipping a baby upside down and having the baby laugh was a good thing. Would that bring harm to the baby? And if the baby was in the bouncing seat and they pressed it down to the floor and let it go and thought it was funny would that be a good thing. You opinion would be greatly appreciated. I'm a concerned grandmother.

From: BettyBoop, Weymouth

Question: Due to the high number of men (it seems to me that more men are unemployed or laid off in comparison to women) out of work; hence they are staying home carrying a lot of the domestic duties. Will this change in role responsibilities have any positive lasting effect on the psyche of men? Will men be able to understand women's issues more clearly? If so, what impact will that have on us as a society... if any?

From: Kate I., Acton

I am a single mom with absolutely no support from my husband. I want to go to night shift and I have a one-year-old son. Please give me some tips to wean my baby as he insists on feeding during the night time. I will have my mom to take care of him... Still finding it difficult to make the decision to go for a night shift or not. I am unable to find a job in the day shift for my experience and qualification (credit card operations job). please do help me.......

From: Sheeba, Madras, India

The cost of raising a family may have more than doubled to $1 million, according to new research.

Social researcher Mark McCrindle's survey of more than 4,500 Australians found that the average cost to raise children today is $1,028,093-- a huge increase over the Australian Federal Government's estimate of $384,543.

Do the math to convert that to U.S. dollars, and the number is still shockingly high: $943,411.36.

What on earth are parents buying?

Barbara, I told my 7-year-old son that I was going to have his hearing checked because he doesn't seem to hear me asking him to do things; resulting in my repeating myself 3 or 4 times & getting extremely frustrated (his hearing did get checked, by the way, and it's perfect). I know the belief that boys mature less quickly than girls, kids like to assert their independence, and I know they will test limits, but this has developed into just about an every day problem. I don't really want to spend every minute with him repeating my requests several times (please, pick up your toys, put on your shoes, get ready for dinner, etc.) to the point where I'm frustrated & yelling and he finally complies. I've tried talking to him about listening, our feelings as a result of his actions, & being respectful of others (i.e. ignoring someone when they are talking to you) and even sending him to his room but nothing seems to stick for long. In fact it has seemed to get worse over the past year. I don't know what else to do - I'm tired of feeling like the bad guy.

From: Broken Record, Weymouth

Question: My 5-year-old daughter has told us something for 4 1/2 months and now just went back on her word after telling lots of people and police officers about a serious issue. Could she have been holding a lie that long? Is it possible? What do we do? We are freaking out.

From: 211, Salem, OR