When families are not intact, summer is often when children spend a chunk of time with an absentee parent.

Last week's entry about leaving children home alone prompted a bunch of of similar questions. Here are some answers.

Naps. Wouldn't you like one about now? Why can't we just take them instead of our kids who clearly don't appreciate a good thing when they have it.

My son is 15 1/2 months old and still takes two naps. He seemed to be giving up the morning nap as he wouldn't sleep so we tried one afternoon nap but he was miserable. He doesn't always sleep a long time in the afternoon though and is very tired at night, even with the 2 naps. He used to fall right asleep at night but now he rolls around for awhile regardless of what time we put him in. He doesn't cry or get mad, but he takes a long time to fall asleep now.

Thanks,
From: Lynn, of Boston

Hi Lynn,

Two things: (1) If you put a child down and he or she rolls around for an hour, the bedtime is too early. (2) At this age, a second nap is probably to blame for him not being able to fall asleep.

Pediatric sleep specialist Richard Ferber of Children’s Hospital Boston suggests going with your instinct and imposing a one- nap schedule, right after lunch.

But be patient. His body may need as much as two weeks to accommodate the new schedule and it’s only repetition and consistency of doing this a bunch of days in a row that will give his body the signal to redistribute the sleeping needs and hours.

“It’s like changing time zones, or having jet lag,” Ferber says. "It takes time to adjust to and there's a lot of irritability that goes with it."

By the way, the new edition of Ferber's "Solve your Child's Sleep Problems" has a whole chapter on naps.

I answer a question from a reader every weekday. If you want help with
some aspect of child-rearing, just write to me here.

There's a sleep problem here but, as is often the case and especially with sleep issues, it belies another issue: What happens when parents disagree about how to solve it?

13-year-old Danny Hauser is angry. Though the court-ordered chemotherapy has shrunk his tumor "considerably" after just two rounds, the teen does not want to continue treatment.

Sleep issues are perhaps the thorniest problems parents face for one simple reason: How can parents possibly deal rationally, intellectually or just plain simply with a modicum of common sense about a child’s inadequate sleep when they themselves are sleep deprived? I’m devoting the next three days’ of Mailbag to sleep questions and, for help, I’ve turned to the pediatric sleep guru, researcher, pediatrician and author Richard Ferber of Children’s Hospital Boston.

The US Supreme Court today ruled that a public school in Arizona in 2003 violated the privacy rights of one of its students when she was forced to undergo a strip-search after another student told school officials she had brought ibupofren pills to school.

According to Reuters, the assistant principal ordered a school nurse to search 13-year-old Savana Redding after another student said Redding had provided her with over-the-counter ibuprofen pills. Though the tips was unverified, and no pills were found in Redding's backpack or pockets, the 8th grader was made to remove her clothes, move her bra to the side and pull her underwear out, exposing her breasts and pelvic area to adults, to see if she was hiding any ibuprofen pills. No pills were found.

I understand the need to protect students, to ensure their health and safety, to eliminate the possiblity of drug abuse. But where do you draw the line?

We all want our child to fit in, to be accepted by peers, to be happy and healthy. So when we perceive that a behavior might interfere with social acceptance, what is our job? To intervene and possibly upset and even interfere with development? To take a laissez-faire attitude with the obvious risk that it won't disappear on its own?

Once again, budget cuts leave families -- and children -- high and dry.

Question: I have 8-year-old twins and a 6-year-old. Their only remaining grandparent is in end stage cancer, with only a few more weeks left. We are Catholic and definitely won't have the kids go to the wake. What is your feeling about kids attending funerals (Mass and burial)? My husband thinks we should really consider it. I think there's no way I'll get through the event without sobbing, and how can they possibly handle it? Thanks.

From: Moxie, Jamaica Plain

Does getting an allowance teach kids to manage money, or does it just condition them to expect a handout? Should you tie the allowance in to chores, or should chores be considered a non-negotiable family responsibility? And how much should a 10-year-old get, anyway?

And there could be so many reasons why...

The problem I have with reality shows is that they're rarely realistic. But when the shows involve kids, I really have a problem: At what point does the show cross the line between entertainment and exploitation?

The hub of family-focused reality TV is the cable channel TLC, formerly known as The Learning Channel. Some of their most popular shows offer a peek into the lives of large families like the Duggars (18 Kids and Counting), the Hayes (Table for 12), and, of course, the Gosselins of Jon & Kate Plus 8.

Her toes. No joke.

Kids need permission to wallow in the past before they can move on.

Somehow, when you look at those words in black and white, doesn't it seem like a total no-brainer?

Twins by any other name are, well, siblings.

My oldest kids are old pros when it comes to sleepovers, but my youngest kids (age 4 1/2 and 2 1/2) aren’t really ready yet. Which is kind of a relief, frankly, because I’m not sure I’m ready yet, either -- in terms of them sleeping somewhere else or having one (or more) of their friends sleeping over here.

Yes, the recession has brought change to us all. But kids are probably the last ones to know it.

Most teenagers -- both male and female -- wrestle with self-esteem and body-image issues. Some are content to tweak their looks with fashion and makeup. Others decide to sculpt their bodies through diet and exercise. But a large number of kids, perhaps influenced by "reality" TV shows or a social pressure to look "perfect," turn to plastic surgery for a quicker fix.

Of course, parents will do almost anything to help their teens feel better about themselves. But is paying for elective plastic surgery taking things too far?

Is it at all helpful to know that this is a normal, healthy, even desirable, stage of development?

OK, I didn't really think so.

If you've ever worried about whether you should piggyback pain relievers or give your child a decongestant, talk to your pediatrician and then take a look at this link:

"Weed, Booze, Cocaine, and Other Old School 'Medicine' Ads."

A syrup to cure colds, coughs and "all diseases of the throat and lungs" that contains morphine or heroin? "Asthma Cigarettes" for children (though, the ad specifies, not for those under the age of 6)?

Makes me wonder how so many kids made it to adulthood back then.

For starters, it does not mean you are raising a life-long poor sport.

We all know that having your child throw her food is a rite of passage. That doesn't make it a fun game for us, however.

Dear Barbara,

From: Jeannie, of Danvers