Talking about girls with my 13-year-old son

Posted by David Beard, Globe Staff  September 9, 2008 07:27 AM

E-mail this article

Invalid E-mail address
Invalid E-mail address

Sending your article

The following is from a Q&A with readers and Child Caring writer Barbara Meltz:

Question: How do I bring up the subject of girls to my 13-year-old son without making him feel uncomfortable? He never talks about relationships, but I'm sure he has thoughts about it. I just want him to be able to discuss this with me, but I won't force him, of course.

Barbara Meltz: Tell him, "At your age, I had lots of questions about girls, and sex...[if it feels right, you can add, but I was too embarrassed to ask my parents.] I just want you to know, if there's every anything you want to talk about, I'm available."

Alternatively, leave a note for him on his pillow some night, saying, "When I was your age, it was hard for me to talk to my parents about girls, even though I really wanted to. So if you're like I was, maybe we could have our conversations on paper...."

Either way, the best you can do is make clear that you are available, that no question is stupid...etc. And then, of course, if he does come to you, that you are open and available AT THAT MOMENT!! But you're right, of course, that this is typical behavior for boys this age.

To read more from Barbara Meltz's latest Q&A, click here. Barbara sits in again for questions on Monday, September 16 at

This blog is not written or edited by or the Boston Globe.
The author is solely responsible for the content.

E-mail this article

Invalid E-mail address
Invalid E-mail address

Sending your article

add your comment
Required (will not be published)

This blogger might want to review your comment before posting it.

About the author

Barbara F. Meltz is a freelance writer, parenting consultant, and author of "Put Yourself in Their Shoes: Understanding How Your Children See the World." She won several awards for her weekly "Child Caring" column in the Globe, including the 2008 American Psychological Association Print Excellence award. Barbara is available as a speaker for parent groups.

Submit a question for Barbara's Mailbag

Ask Barbara a question

Barbara answers questions on a wide range of topics, including autism, breastfeeding, bullying, discipline, divorce, kindergarten, potty training, sleep, tantrums, and much, much more.

Send your questions to her at:
meltzbarbara (at)
Please include your name and hometown.

Child in Mind

All parenting discussions

High needs/fussy baby

memes98 writes "My 10.5 month old DS has been fussy ever since he was born, but I am getting very frustrated because I thought he would be much better by now...has anyone else been through this?"

More community voices

Child in Mind

Corner Kicks

Dirty Old Boston

Mortal Matters

On Deck

TEDx Beacon Street

RSS feed

click here to subscribe to
Child Caring