Parenting chat transcript

Posted by Katie McLeod  April 27, 2009 08:46 AM

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Barbara Meltz took your parenting and child-caring questions on Monday. Click the "Replay" button below to read a transcript of the chat.



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3 comments so far...
  1. My son, who is almost 10, confided in me (mom) over the weekend, that he has a crush on a girl in his class. I asked who, and he told me (a very nice, sweet girl) and how long (he said sort of since the end of last year, 3rd grad). He said that last year this girl had liked one boy in the class, and this year she liked another, although she seemed to not like this boy anymore. It's all very normal,very age appropriate and I told him it was all normal -- although my son seemed a little sad. If he's telling me this, I wonder, is he expecting/needing something from me? Does he want me to ask about it, or do I just wait for him to bring things up? Not sure what to do here, if anything. Thanks.

    Posted by kittycat April 27, 09 11:26 AM
  1. Hi Barbara, My question is about my 4-1/2 year-old daughter, who will be starting kindergarten in September. Until recently, she has been a very well-behaved, easy-going child who would eat whatever the rest of the family would eat, go upstairs for bath without fighting, etc. Within the past 2 months, she has become very oppositional yet clingy and overly excitable. She wants to fight about everything - what we're eating, going upstairs for bed, etc. Lately, she's been very clingy at bedtime - asking that we lie down with her (we won't), etc. My husband and I are getting very frustrated with her (and probably she with us). We have had a consitent bedtime routine with her since she was about 6 months old, and we have kept that up since her 18-month-old sister has arrived. Do you have any suggestions? Thanks!

    Posted by mk April 27, 09 01:13 PM
  1. Dear HealthFreak,
    My heart breaks for your son. He knows you are freaked about his weight, despite outwardly not attending enough to your concern to suit you. He knows you treat him differently than his "thin" sibling, even if you don't. If you were truly focused on his health, you would not be equating it with thinness. Your challenge is re-educating yourself, perhaps starting with the "Obesity Paradox" series at http://www.junkfoodscience.blogspot.com/ or http://kateharding.net/
    Now, to personal experience: you didn't mention whether his "thin" sibling was younger - but I'm betting yes. You may be "dealing with" your son entering puberty, which might present some challenges to your ideas about what he "should" look like, especially in comparison to his sibling.
    The best to you all, as you learn, grow and change -

    Posted by Ajay April 28, 09 02:04 PM
 
3 comments so far...
  1. My son, who is almost 10, confided in me (mom) over the weekend, that he has a crush on a girl in his class. I asked who, and he told me (a very nice, sweet girl) and how long (he said sort of since the end of last year, 3rd grad). He said that last year this girl had liked one boy in the class, and this year she liked another, although she seemed to not like this boy anymore. It's all very normal,very age appropriate and I told him it was all normal -- although my son seemed a little sad. If he's telling me this, I wonder, is he expecting/needing something from me? Does he want me to ask about it, or do I just wait for him to bring things up? Not sure what to do here, if anything. Thanks.

    Posted by kittycat April 27, 09 11:26 AM
  1. Hi Barbara, My question is about my 4-1/2 year-old daughter, who will be starting kindergarten in September. Until recently, she has been a very well-behaved, easy-going child who would eat whatever the rest of the family would eat, go upstairs for bath without fighting, etc. Within the past 2 months, she has become very oppositional yet clingy and overly excitable. She wants to fight about everything - what we're eating, going upstairs for bed, etc. Lately, she's been very clingy at bedtime - asking that we lie down with her (we won't), etc. My husband and I are getting very frustrated with her (and probably she with us). We have had a consitent bedtime routine with her since she was about 6 months old, and we have kept that up since her 18-month-old sister has arrived. Do you have any suggestions? Thanks!

    Posted by mk April 27, 09 01:13 PM
  1. Dear HealthFreak,
    My heart breaks for your son. He knows you are freaked about his weight, despite outwardly not attending enough to your concern to suit you. He knows you treat him differently than his "thin" sibling, even if you don't. If you were truly focused on his health, you would not be equating it with thinness. Your challenge is re-educating yourself, perhaps starting with the "Obesity Paradox" series at http://www.junkfoodscience.blogspot.com/ or http://kateharding.net/
    Now, to personal experience: you didn't mention whether his "thin" sibling was younger - but I'm betting yes. You may be "dealing with" your son entering puberty, which might present some challenges to your ideas about what he "should" look like, especially in comparison to his sibling.
    The best to you all, as you learn, grow and change -

    Posted by Ajay April 28, 09 02:04 PM
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About the author

Barbara F. Meltz is a freelance writer, parenting consultant, and author of "Put Yourself in Their Shoes: Understanding How Your Children See the World." She won several awards for her weekly "Child Caring" column in the Globe, including the 2008 American Psychological Association Print Excellence award. Barbara is available as a speaker for parent groups.

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