Q: My son starting cruising at 13 months. We bought him some "pre-walker" shoes and he walked to us with his hands raised for awhile. Now he walks everywhere but only holding our hands. He will not initiate walking on his own or standing up on his own. He pulls up, etc., but walks only with us holding him. If we try to let go, he clings to our legs. He is now 14.5 months -- is there a problem? His right foot points out a bit, but I can't imagine this is preventing him from taking the walking plunge. What do you think? Thanks!

Lynne, Needham

Hi Lynne,

Relax. Every child develops at a different rate and, while it's true that some children go upright and are toddling independently immediately, it's equally true that some take more time to literally let go. Part of this is a balance issue. Getting his balance down also explains the right foot that points out; as he gets more balanced, the feet will straighten out.

But becoming upright isn't just a matter of physical development. There's also emotional growth going on and it involves a degree of inner turmoil. The surge toward independence that comes with walking is also fraught with ambivalence. A toddler can't articulate it, but it goes something like this: "If I'm able to walk on my own, what will happen? If I walk away, will I be able to come back? Do I even want to? If I can walk on my own, will mom and dad still take care of me?"

Temperament can enter into this, too; a more laid-back personality may simply not be in a big hurry to walk independently. Ditto for a second- or later-born child; all the activity in the house, especially preschoolers who are hurricanes of activity, can be intimidating to a balance-challenged toddler.

My guess is that this walking-while-holding hands could go on for a while longer or it could end tomorrow; there's no way to guess and it doesn't matter. In fact, the typical US baby walks between 12- and 14-months, so your baby is right on target.

Meanwhile, continue to offer him your hands, put up with your aching back, and try to enjoy the experience. Once he does let go, it's gonna get a lot more exhausting for you!

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