Moving from family day care to center-based

Posted by Barbara F. Meltz  June 8, 2009 06:00 AM
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Question: I am considering moving my 2 year old from the family daycare she has always known to a center. In my gut I know it is the right thing; the TV is on too much, and an influx of babies means that my girl (now the oldest) is left without any structured activities.
Any tips for changing daycare situations with a two year old, it will be moving from a family daycare to a center. She is not fully verbal yet.

Thanks.

From: Liz, Somerville

Hi Liz,

You're certainly right that TV exposure for young children is not a good thing. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no TV for children under 2 and limited viewing for those older. In addition, while family-based care can be wonderful for the ways in which it can simulate a home environment for young children, the lack of age diversity begins to work against a child by age 3. So, yes, I think you're making the right decision.

Choose carefully. Not all centers are created equally. The move toward academics in daycare and preschool is not necessarily in children's best interests developmentally. You don't need computers in preschool, for instance.

At this age, your daughter will need only a few days' notice that she's making a change. But she will need ample time and opportunity to say goodbye to every conceivable object in the old daycare -- goodbye to the stuffed animals, the books, the bathroom, the napping spot -- and of, course, to the people.Your daughter has strong emotional ties to the people and objects at her day care and the goodbye process is one that needs to be respectful. Walk around the room(s) with her: "What do you want to say goodbye to?"

When you talk about the new school before hand, do it sparingly and talk about what will be the same there, not what will be different. She will not need much of an explanation (if any) about why a change is happening, just that it is: "Tomorrow will be the first day at your new school. There's a napping mat there, too, and a play yard and story time." Avoid saying things like, "I know you are going to love it there!" If she doesn't (at first), it hurts your credibility.

Drop off is potentially going to be your hardest time. Establish a new routine with her. Two very important rules: Never leave her without saying goodbye; try really hard to be on time for pick-up! Here are some other suggestions from the University of Minnestoa.

I answer a question from a reader every weekday. If you want help with
a developmental aspect of child-rearing, just write to me here.


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1 comments so far...
  1. I'll add a couple. Try to do a couple of shorter days or visits before she starts full-day. Also, schedule a vist back to the FCC for when she gets settled into the new program. Keep in mind some of the toys from the old setting and try to point out that "they have those here, too" when you do your pre-start visits. Most importantly, find a teacher who will be able to establish a 1:1 relationship with your daughter right from the start. That way she will not feel so alone or overwhelmed in a bigger environment. She can anchor onto that teacher while she establishes relationships with the rest of the team and group.

    Posted by wg67 June 9, 09 01:47 PM
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About the author

Barbara F. Meltz is a freelance writer, parenting consultant, and author of "Put Yourself in Their Shoes: Understanding How Your Children See the World." She won several awards for her weekly "Child Caring" column in the Globe, including the 2008 American Psychological Association Print Excellence award. Barbara is available as a speaker for parent groups.

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