Nice info. I have learned just now that twins are not automatically 'close' to each other. I always thought that the general rule is that twins are best friends.

I think it's more that they are boy/girl teen siblings that characterizes the relationship. Imagine being 14 and having someone else going through that awkward age in the same house with you all the time.?! Ugh. They've been the same forever and now they are becoming completely different: each probably wondering what the heck happened to the other. I would spend time with them separately talking about what it's like to be them, at their age and gender going through what they are going through. Then, without betraying any confidences, talk with each about how it's different for their sibling. Think of at least 4 or 5 concessions each can make for the other. Avoid using the phrase "hate each other." Neuro-linguistics tells us that more temporary sounding terms ("are having trouble getting along right now") can lead to less intense feelings.

"When twins are close, it's a unique phenomenon" that's true, my twin and I
are like that when we attending the same high-school, but when we go into
different college, we not so much so.

I think - and my boy twins are only 2.5, so what do I know - but I think that it's harder for boy/girl twins than same sex twins to have a close relationship growing up. I'm fascinated by twin relationships now that I am a mom of twins, and as I talk to adult twins I tend to find that boy/girl twin sets have relationships that are about as close (or not) as any sibling pair, while same sex twins seem to be much closer as adults. In watching a pair of b-g twins in my own family grow up, it was clear that the different developmental rates of boys and girls really had a huge effect on their lives - the girl was consistently ahead of the boy in academic, social, and emotional development, which made her act like his mom and spend much too much time managing him in all of those ways, which made him not live up to his own potential...a vicious cycle much more complex than I'm writing here that was not very positive for either of them. Now as young adults they're friendly but not especially close.

I think it is sad that two people born from the same embryo cannot be close. Is it a competition thing normally? My ex pitted my twins against each other to keep them weak against his abuse. How do you overcome that?

I have 13 year old identical twin daughters. Sometimes they can be the best of friends and sometimes they are so incredibly mean to each other. When they are mean they will say hurtful things about the other one to friends or schoolmates. They will also put the blame on the other one when it is really their doing. I find that their self esteem is suffering.
Anybody else in this situation and if so..any advice and are there any support groups?

Oh dear, I am going through the same thing with my 12 year old identical boys. I am trying to help them through this time and don't know how. It pains me as a parent to think that I raised them this way. I always thought that they fight so much because they are twins and they think they have to be the same and like the same things. One completely into sports and the other hates them and loves acting and singing. I thought that was it. Although I am sad to hear (read) that other parents are going through the same thing I am glad that I am not alone. I don't know how to fix this problem but if someone else does please post it!!!!!