Could some parents of teens please comment on this? I'm just starting to get a few scathing comments from my 13 year old and would love more advice on how to deal with it and not take it personally.

Numbers 2 and 3 above are really important. How not to let them push your buttons is another issue! Whatever strategy works for you...deep cleansing breath, counting to 10...use it. And don't admonish your child in front of anyone. Saving face is really important; you never want to embarrass him/her. On the other hand, you need to keep to your standards. However you react needs to be the way you want to teach your child to react. So take her aside privately and discuss the comment - if it hurt your feelings, let her know. If it was completely unacceptable and cannot happen again, let him know what the consequences will be...and stick to them, ALWAYS. Kids this age are trying on roles and they use their parents because we are safe, but they are also looking for limits from us. It's tough negotiating this age because we're now meeting them in different territory. They don't want to need us, but they do. They're trying to become autonomous human beings and they don't exactly know how. Figure out what your limits are; figure out the best way to keep your own emotions in check; stick to your guns; be a parent, not a friend; trust them until they violate your trust...and maintain your sense of humor. It's well worth those many deep breaths ahead...good luck.

I have a baby boy, but when I was a teen I had a very good understanding of what would happen to me if I ever spoke back to my mother, so I never did. Your kids are doing this now because they have never had strict boundaries, they have had too much grey area. Now they lash out because they feel like its not such a big deal. Anyone with little kids I would suggest you start early so this doesent come up in the future, these issues if not addressed always come back to bite you.

"Don't take it personally" is probably the best advice any parent of a teenager could hear. Parents are the safest target teenagers have to vent their often chaotic feelings on. But this stage will pass eventually, probably more quickly with boys than with girls. And when it does, if you have listened when that was needed and set boundaries when that was needed, you will find that having adult children is a wonderful gift. Beyond that, you get to watch your adult children going through the same stages with their children!
Note to tictoc02026: best of luck with your two-year-old, your three-year-old, and your teenager. If you think intimidation is the best way to solve problems with your child, you have lots of good times coming.

I learned a few things raising two boys who are now 19 & 25 years old. The first is that you cannot be thin skinned and take offense at every bad mood or slight. Teens like adults have their moments and sometimes a parent has to respect that and back off until the mood has passed. If my teen said something that was disrespectful I would not tolerate that and would tell my sons that I spoke to them in a respectful manner and I expected the same in return. I never really had any major problems with this approach.

A parent probably needs to be able to distinguish between a legitimate criticism and attempts by teens to manipulate them. This is really hard for parents to accept, because they don't want to believe that someone whom they love is attempting to manipulate them, or they underestimate the sophistication of a teen's ability to be manipulative. This is particularly an issue with teen girls. Arguments like "You love Sibling X more than you love me" positively reek of this type of manipulation. I think it's fair to ignore attempts to manipulate, even fair to be angry about it. The bigger question is how and how aggressively to rebuff attempts at manipulation.

Very good points were showed above.
I am not a dad yet, but this passage helped a lot to know how to act in the future with my kids.